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The training continues…. month 3

My word! I have been doing daily journaling entries like mad! Trying to catch up the lost time since September. Guess what? Life is busy happening while I try doing this, so my plan seems to be full of flaws…

Again I almost had a panic attack (this feels like it happens on a daily basis for the silliest things) about this training and HOW am I going to catch up on this??? I only have access for 12 months and my time is almost up….

Just as I was about to take out the brown paperbag to regulate my heavy and uneven breathing, I feel the Holy Spirit calm me down like only He can do. There is nothing that I can compare His calmness to….not Lavender, white noise or any other thing that has a calming, soothing effect.

My thoughts and anxiety and all the other emotions come to a screetching halt. You know, like when you were driving like a crazy person and saw the huge speed hump almost to late? Like that!

I felt Him drop into my spirit that I do not have to have all the journaling entries done at the same time, writing out a week’s journal prompts in 15 minutes. The purpose of this is, after all, to let you grow as a person. So no one is going to experience true growth if everything is rushed!! The journaling is a process that has to be done bit by bit and not necessarily in chunks like I am trying to do.

I sit back for a moment and think, true that! High five, fist pump and booty shake with the Holy Spirit for that revelation. But then I ask Him “So HOW am I supposed to catch up on the lost time?” His answer is simple. “Download the content that is currently available, work through the video’s and other material and do the online assessment.”

He continues: That should do it. The journaling is a process and a journey you are on, you are not supposed to rush that. The online assessments are like all other training. You can do many shortly after another. You will be storing the knowledge for use later.

I have not tried this yet and perhaps that should be my plan of action? To do it like that? I think it is time for watching videos and reading the material, while walking on the treadmill and then doing the assessments….

Die opleiding gaan voort…. maand 3
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Die opleiding gaan voort…. maand 3

Oh my hat!! Ek het my daaglikse joernaal inskrywings gedoen soos ek weet nie wat nie! Probeer opvang op verlore tyd sedert September. Raai wat? Die lewe is besig om te gebeur terwyl ek dit probeer doen, so my plan voel of hy propvol foute is….en nie deurgevoer kan word nie...

Weereens het ek amper ‘n panic attack (dit voel deesdae of dit daagliks gebeur vir die simpelste goed) oor hierdie opleiding en HOE ek veronderstel is om dit op te vang??? Ek het net toegang vir 12 maande en die tyd is amper op….

Net soos ek bruinpapiersak wil gryp om my asemhaling te reguleer, voel ek die Heilige Gees my kalmeer soos net Hy kan doen. Daar is niks waarmee ek Sy kalmte mee kan vergelyk nie….nie Laventel (hoe is daai vir ‘n properse Afrikaanse woord?), white noise of enige ander ding wat kalmerend is nie.

My gedagtes en angs asook honderd en tien ander emosies kom tot ‘n skreeuende stilstand. Jy weet, soos wanneer jy soos ‘n mal mens bestuur (kom nou – ons almal doen dit soms…) en skielik ‘n groot spoedhobbel amper te laat sien. Net so!

Ek voel hoe Hy in my gees laat val dat ek nie al die joernaalinskrywings op dieselfde tyd hoef te doen nie. Ek hoef nie te probeer om ‘n week se joernaalinskrywings in 15 minute te doen nie. Die doel van dit is mos om jou as ‘n persoon te laat groei. So niemand gaan ware groei ervaar as alles afgerammel word nie!! Die joernaalinskrywings is ‘n proses wat bietjie vir bietjie gedoen moet word en hoef nie noodwendig in groot hompe gedoen te word soos wat ek nou probeer doen nie.

Ek sit terug en dink vir ‘n oomblik en besluit true that! High five, fist pump en booty shake met die Heilige Gees vir daardie openbaring. Maar dan vra ek Hom so HOE is ek veronderstel om op te vang op verlore tyd? Sy antwoord is eenvoudig. “Laai die inhoud af wat tans beskikbaar is, werk deur die video’s en ander materiaal en doen die aanlyn assesserings.”

Hy gaan voort: “Dit behoort dit te doen. Die joernaalinskrywings is ‘n proses en ‘n reis wat jy op is, jy is nie veronderstel om deur dit te jaag nie. Die aanlyn klasse en asseserings is soos alle ander opleiding. Jy kan baie na mekaar doen. Jy gaan die kennis stoor vir latere gebruik.”

Ek het nog nie dit probeer nie en miskien moet dit my plan van aksie word? Om dit so te doen? Ek dink dis weer tyd om videos te kyk en materiaal te lees terwyl ek op die treadmill loop en dan die assesserings aan te pak….

The training continues…. month 3
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Die Deurlopende Etiese Opleiding duur voort…. Maand 2

Die Engelse opskrif klink vir my meer catchy. Maar toemaar, ek is seker julle verstaan wat ek hier bedoel. Elkgeval, terug by my ervaring van hierdie ding wat ons etiese opleiding noem….ek het eers my oë gerol (ek het dit al voorheen genoem) om opleiding te doen om eties te wees. Vir my is dit ‘n natuurlike ding en my verwagting van ander mense is ook om so te wees.

Duidelik funksioneer ander nie soos ek nie (wat ‘n skok vir die sisteem, dog die waarheid en realiteit). Maar, soos ek deur alles werk, besef ek net daar is iets diepers betrokke hierby. Natuurlik kan niemand geleer word om eties te wees nie! Maar, as jy jou denk patrone verander, sal jy tot die besef kom oor hoe dit jou lewe, aksies, keuses en uitkomste werklik beïnvloed.

Iewers tussen September 2021 en Februarie 2022 het ek behoorlik uitgefreak oor die etiese opleiding. Elke keer wanneer ek ‘n kennisgewing kry dat daar nuwe inhoud beskikbaar is (die begin van die maand gewoonlik) dan begin ek amper hiper-ventileer. Want regtig, WAAR moet ek die tyd kry om alles te DOEN wat daar van my verwag word? Ek het slegs maand 1 se opleiding gedoen teen einde Desember en nou moet ek 11 maande se goed opvang in iets soos 8 maande of minder (ek weet eintlik nie hoeveel nie, ek het dit nie gaan uitwerk nie en my brein is regtig net te moeg om uit te werk hoeveel tyd het ek nog oor van my 12 maande etiese opleiding).

Dan, tussen al die chaos deur wat ek ervaar, kalmeer die Here my gedagtes. Dis ok om agter te raak. Dit gebeur. Weer freak ek uit want ek is nou eers besig met maand 2 se joernaal inskrywings wat daagliks moet plaasvind en HOE GAAN EK DIT DOEN??? Ek het amper in my gedagtes geskree vir God (met respek as daar so iets bestaan). Ek het ‘n tantrum gegooi. Ek sal nou nie die Afrikaanse slagspreuk gebruik nie, maar iewers in dit is ‘n vloer en iets wat rym met vloer. Ek is seker jy weet wat ek hier bedoel.

Dit het my die HELE Januarie gevat om ‘n klomp goed uit te werk, insluitende die opleiding in ‘n baie besige skedule. Dan iewers tussen my geskree en freak out wat ek gehad het, kom die lig aan. Wat die proses jou EINTLIK probeer leer is nie om jou inskrywings te begin met Liewe Dagboek nie. Nee. Wat hulle ons probeer leer om te doen is om ons gedagtes te declutter van goed en gedagtes wat jou so besig hou en jou vreugde en fokus steel.

Sodra jy dit begin neerskryf en uit jou gedagtes uit kry, kan jy meer fokus op die dag wat voorlê. Makliker gesê as gedaan, MAAR dis die uiteinde dink ek. Ons het soveel clutter op soveel vlakke, dis SCARY!! Dit begin intimiderend raak en as jy weer sien is jy oorweldig, angstig en kan jy eintlik nie werk soos jy veronderstel is om te werk nie, alles op dieselfde tyd.

Ek het ‘n doelbewuste besluit geneem om die eerste week in Februarie, net te BEGIN met hierdie opleiding en dit net te doen. En ek het. En dit laat my meer bemagtig voel (is dit die regte woord vir accomplished?). Ek voel beter want ek is besig om baba tree se vordering te maak….en raai wat??? Jy HOEF nie eers maand 2 se joernaal inskrywings klaar te maak voor jy kan aangaan met maand 3 nie.

Nee, jy kan daagliks joernaal inskrywings maak, maand 2 se video’s kyk (en al die inhoud lees net so terloops), die assessering doen en aan beweeg na maand 3 toe. Dit is wat ek gaan doen. Ek kan mos meer as een daaglikse inskrywing doen as ek wil. Daar is geen reëls nie, so dis haalbaar om op te vang en in te haal.

Wat ek ook gaan doen, is om te probeer kombineer met wat ookal in maand 3 gebeur met maand 2 se joernaal inskrywings en so uitbrei. Ek het GEEN idee wat maand 3 vir my inhou nie, maar ek is reg vir dit. Dankie tog ek het ‘n hoër mag (die Here as jy gewonder het) wat oor my waak. Wat ek ook begin doen het is om so 2 tot 3 joernaal inskrywings se vrae te antwoord in een dag. Deur dit te doen, maak ek ook vordering en vang ek ook op!! My plan, is soos elke ander plan in die lewe – onder ontwikkelling en onderhewig aan verandering.

God inspireer my, kalmeer my, gee my planne om my vrese en probleme wat ek daagliks ervaar, te oorwin, sodat ek iets so eenvoudig soos hierdie etiese opleiding kan doen. Dit is regtig nie so moeilik nie en sal my vir seker baat op die lang duur. Jy sien, wat jy, die leser van die artikel nie sien nie, is die angstige gedagtes wat ek daagliks het, oor alles – goed, lewe, kinders, werk.

Dit affekteer my vermoë om te werk en produktief te wees. So vir die buite wêreld lyk ek soos iets, ek weet eintlik nie waarmee om myself te vergelyk nie, maar ek kom voor as iets anders as wat ek werklik is. Ek sit maar ‘n brawe gesig op elke dag, smile and waive, fake it ’till you make it tipe houding. Dit gee ‘n wan-persepsie van wie ek werklik is.

Maar, iewers tussen my skrywery op die platform deur, terwyl ek my bybelstudie doen (terwyl ek blog) en my gedagtes joernaliseer, is ek besig om iets te word, iemand beter as wat ek voorheen was. Hierdie proses help my om te declutter in my gedagtes en nie so angstig te wees soos ek altyd was nie.

Ek kry dit steeds nie reg op ‘n daaglikse basis nie, maar sommige dae is beter as ander. Hierdie is alles ‘n leer-proses vir my, iets wat my as mens ontwikkel. En natuurlik het die Here vir my gewys dat ek een van my Beroepsvrou dagboeke kan gebruik vir hierdie doel! Vir hierdie etiese opleiding en daaglikse bybel verse!

Een ding wat ek wel agter gekom het, is, na ek hierdie artikel begin skryf het begin Februarie, het daar ‘n klomp tyd verloop. Twee weke (of is dit nou drie?) het verby gegaan en ek probeer my uiterste beste om hierdie etiese opleiding se joernaal inskrywings daagliks te doen, op ‘n weeksdag (naweke is so bietjie anders en moeiliker omdat ons ‘n ander roetine het). Elkgeval, terug by wat ek probeer sê. Wanneer jy die joernaal vrae antwoord (dit kry eintlik net jou gedagtes aan die gang) oor hoe jy byvoorbeeld, kan verbeter om take af te handel, is dit asof die duiwel en al sy nasaad (in Engels verwys ek na spawn of the devil) jou aanval op dit wat jy neergeskryf het.

Vir my is dit baie interessant, dog niks nuuts nie. Jy sien, wanneer dit met my gebeur, sit ek met ‘n glimlag op my gesig en neem ek kennis hiervan, want, wanneer ek voel of ek aangeval word, weet ek net dat ek op die regte spoor is! Die duiwel weet ook wat my potensiaal is en hy sal alles probeer om my te keer om te doen wat gedoen moet word.

Moet nie mismoedig voel as jy ‘n twee of drie weke tydperk agter die rug het soos wat ek gehad het nie (na ek met die etiese joernaal inskrywings begin het). Dit beteken net dat jy op die regte spoor is en moet aanhou en deur druk! En net asof die Here wil bevestig vir my wat ek hier sê, kry ek ‘n bybelvers net na ek die artikel begin afsluit. 2 Thessalonicense 3:3. Wat ‘n powerful en profound skrif vers om te kry wanneer jy voel of jy aangeval word!

So, as jy steeds wonder of dit die moeite wêrd sal wees om die kursus te doen of waar jy die tyd sal vind – hou op om dit te oordink. Hou op om te prokrastineer soos wat ek vir maande gedoen het. Begin net en voor jy weet, sal jy soveel meer kennis hê en insig kry as voor jy hierdie hele proses begin het.

Een ding wat ek opgemerk het van hierdie opleiding is dat jy ALLES MOET LEES!! Voor jy die aanlyn assessering probeer, maak seker jy LEES die inhoud….dit gaan jou net versterk in jou kennis en self-worth (en natuurlik gaan jy die assessering slaag as jy alles gelees het want die vrae kom nie net uit die videos uit nie).

Ek kan afsluit en ‘n gevolgtrekking maak dat Ek tot alles in staat is deur Christus wat my krag gee! Fillipense 4:13. Ek kan selfs hierdie opleiding ding doen, werk EN ‘n ma wees!! En dit nogals in Februarie, ons besigste maand! Want regtig, WANNEER is ‘n goeie tyd om te begin? Dis nou of nooit!

Word vervolg…..

The Continious Ethics Training continues…. Month 2
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The Continious Ethics Training continues…. Month 2

Note the pun in the heading. Anyway, back to my experience of this thing called training and ethics….so at first I rolled my eyes (I have said this before) at having to do training about being ethical. To me it comes naturally and that is my expectation that I have of others.

Clearly everyone does not function like I do (what a shocker to my system but a reality and truth). But as I work through everything, I realise that there is something deeper here. Of course no one can be taught to be ethical! But you can start to think about your thoughts and how it influences your life and actions.

I was freaking out somewhere between September 2021 and February 2022 about this ethics training. Everytime I get a notification about new content (at the beginning of the month) I almost start to hyperventilate. Because seriously, WHERE am I supposed to find the time to DO that which is expected of me. I only did month 1 by end December and now I have to catch up 11 months in something like 8 months or less (I don’t know, I did not calculate this and quite frankly my brain is too exhausted to calculate how many months are left of my 12 months ethics).

Then, amongst all the chaos I was experiencing, God calmed my thoughts. It is ok to fall behind. It happens. Again I was freaking out because now I am only in month 2’s journalling that has to take place daily and HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS??? I was almost screaming in my mind to God (with respect). Throwing a tantrum.

It took me the whole of January to figure a lot of things out, including this training that I have to fit into a very busy schedule. Then somewhere between screaming and freaking out, the light came on. What this process is trying to teach you is to not start your journal entries with Dear diary. Nope. What they are trying to get us to do is to declutter your mind of stuff and thoughts that occupy you and steal your joy and focus.

Once you start writing them down and getting them out of your mind, you can become more focussed on the day ahead. Easier said than done BUT this is the bottom line I think. We have so much clutter on so many levels in our lives, it is SCARY! It becomes intimidating and when you see again you are overwhelmed, underpeforming and anxious all at the same time.

I made a conscious decision during the first week of Feb, to just START with this training and just do it. And I did. And that makes me feel more accomplished because I am making baby steps in progress….and guess what??? You don’t HAVE to do every day’s journalling for month 2 before you can proceed to month 3.

No, you can journal daily, watch month 2’s videos (and read the material by the way), do the assessment and move on to month 3. That is what I am going to do. I can answer more than one daily journalling thought if I want to, there are no rules, so it is manageable to actually catch up.

What I am also going to do, is combine what ever is added on in month 3 with month 2’s journalling and just expand. I have no idea what month 3 has installed for me but I am ready for it. Thank goodness I have a higher power (called God if you were wondering) watching over me. What I also started doing, is to answer 2 to 3 journalling questions on one day. That way I will also make progress and catch up!! My plan for this is like every plan in life – under development and subject to change.

God inspires me, calms me, gives me my plans to overcome my fears and problems I face daily so that I can so something as simple as this ethics training. It is really not that hard and it will really benefit me in the long run. You see, what you, the reader of this article, don’t see is, in the background there are all these anxiety thoughts I have daily about stuff, life, kids, work.

This affects my ability to work and be productive. So to the outside world I look like something, I don’t know what to compare myself with, but I appear to be something I am not, to others. I put on a brave face daily, smile and waive, fake it till you make it type of attitude, which is what others perceive to be this thing which I am not.

However, between writing this blog, doing my bible study while blogging and journaling my thoughts like I am being thaught in this course, I am actually becoming something and someone better than what I was before. This all helps me to declutter my mind and not be as panicked as I used to be.

I still don’t get it right on a daily basis, but some days are better than others. This all is a learning and developing process to me. And of course God showed me what I could use one of my Beroepsvrou diaries for! For this ethics journalling and daily bible verses!

One thing I have noted, is, after I started writing this article at the beginning of February, an amount of time has lapsed. Two weeks (or is it three?) have passed and I am trying my utmost best to do this ethics journaling daily on a weekday (weekends are different because then our routine is slightly different). Anyway, back to what I am trying to say. When you answer the journaling questions (that just gets your mind going) about how you can improve, for example on finishing tasks, it is like the devil and all the spawn of the devil, attacks you on what you wrote down.

To me this is very interesting, yet nothing new. You see, when ever this happens to me, I grin and I take note of this, because when I feel under attack, I know I am on the right track! The devil also knows my potential and he will try everything to stop me from doing what needs to be done.

Don’t be discouraged if you have had a two to three week period like I have after starting this ethics journaling. It only means you are doing something right and you must persevere and push through! And as if God just wants to confirm what I am saying here, I get a bible verse shortly after finishing up this article – 2 Thessalonians 3:3. What a powerful and profound scripture to get when feeling like you are under attack!

So, if you are still wondering if it will be worth it to do this course, or where you will find the time – stop overthinking it. Stop procrastinating like I did for months. Just start doing and before you know it, you will be so much more knowledgeable than what you were before you started this whole thing.

One thing I have noted from this training is you HAVE TO READ everything!! Before you attempt the questions and assessment, make sure you READ the content…after all, it will only strengthen your knowledge and self-worth.

I can conclude that I can do all things with Christ! Phillipians 4:13. I can even do this training thing, work AND be a mom! And nogal in February, our busiest month! Because really, WHEN is it a good time to start? It is now or never!

To be continued…..

Die Deurlopende Etiese Opleiding duur voort…. Maand 2
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The continuous ethics training

Yes, I am talking about this topic again. January 2022 is gone (how I do not know but it is over) and I have not done ANYTHING to make progress on my continuous ethics training hosted by Tall Trees. I enrolled in September 2021 for a 12 month programme.

I started it with the hope and anticipation that I would do my bit every week so that this training is NOT like a mountain in front of me. But, guess what? Life happened! Work life and life-life’s life happened…

I started off well and somewhere in September I started watching the first lot of videos, made notes, etc. But then the end of year rush started, as I like to refer to it (this starts normally around September) and there is that plan up in smoke.

End of December I was sitting in front of my computer doing my tax training that was required before the 31st. (Yes, I have to do that TOO between everything else). I realised, as I was working through everything, that I NEVER finished my first month of ethics training…..

Luckily one can do this in your own time and when it suites you, which is not necessarily good for my personality….because training actually never suites me. Let us be honest, no one is ever wanting to do training. There are always more important things to do, work, children, etc….

But this training is different. I WANT to do it, it is just the number of hours in a day and week does not permit me to do training. This is not hard, it is interesting and insightful. If you break it down the way that they wrote it, then it is manageable in my opinion.

We must just get our heads around it and do it. Something that I can confirm is, that I do try my very best to prioritise my tasks, all which are written in a book by the way, into the 4 quadrants that Lynette spoke about in the very first video….

It will definitely help one to prioritise, it is just hard for me to distinguish which tasks are Important & Urgent. Because it is these tasks that requires priority attention – those which are both important AND urgent….and no one else can help me except me. I really still feel like a headless chicken, January was a difficult month in the sense of getting started again after the holiday.

I am most certainly going to try my utmost best to get to my ethical training again this coming week….maybe I can learn a little something that I can apply to my ever increasing and growing list. The work that comes in at 90 miles per hour while I get work out at 1 mile per hour….

I pray for help from above, because alone I cannot do it…as the Psalm writer wrote – I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord who created heaven and earth…..

Die deurlopende etiese opleiding

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Die deurlopende etiese opleiding

Ja ek is weer terug by die onderwerp. Januarie 2022 is verby (hoe weet ek nie maar hy is) en ek het net nog mooi NIKS gedoen aan my deurlopende etiese opleiding aangebied deur Tall Trees nie. Ek het September 2021 ingeskryf vir ‘n 12 maande program.

Ek het dit begin met die hoop en verwagting dat ek elke week my bietjie gaan doen om hierdie opleiding te voltooi sodat dit NIE soos ‘n berg voor my lê nie. Maar, raai wat? Die lewe gebeur! Werkslewe en lewe-lewe se lewe het gebeur….

Ek het goed begin en iewers in September die eerste klomp videos begin kyk, nota’s gemaak, en so meer. Maar toe kom die end of year rush soos ek daarna verwys (dit begin gewoonlik hier rondom September maand) en daar is daardie plan daarmee heen.

So sit ek mos toe nou einde Desember met my belastingopleiding wat ek moes doen voor die 31ste. (Ja ek moet dit OOK nog doen tussen alles deur). Ek besef toe, soos wat ek deur alles werk, dat ek NOOIT my eerste maand van die etiese opleiding klaar gemaak het nie….

Gelukkig kan mens die tipe opleiding doen wanneer dit jou pas, wat nie noodwendig goed is vir my persoonlikheid nie….want opleiding pas my nou eintlik nooit. Kom ons wees eerlik, niemand is ooit lus om hul opleiding te doen nie. Daar is mos altyd belangriker goed om te doen, werk, kinders, en so meer….

Maar hierdie opleiding is vir my anders. Ek WIL dit doen, dis net die ure in die dag en week laat dit nie vir my toe om net my half uur te neem en daardie week of dag se opleiding te doen nie. Hierdie is nie moeilik nie, dis interessant, dis insiggewend. As jy dit opbreek soos hulle dit geskryf het is dit regtig haalbaar in my opinie.

Ons moet net ons koppe regkry rondom dit en dit net doen. Iets wat ek wel kan sê en van getuig is, ek probeer regtig baie hard werk om my take wat so ewe in ‘n boek opgeskryf is, te prioritiseer in die 4 kwadrante wat Lynette van gepraat het in die heel eerste video….

Dit gaan mens vir seker kan help om te prioritiseer, dis net vir my moeilik om te onderskei watter van my take is Belangrik & Dringend. Want dís die take wat eerste aandag moet geniet – die wat belangrik EN dringend is…en niemand anders kan my help as ek self nie. Ek voel nog soos ‘n afkop hoender, Januarie was ‘n moeilike maand in die sin om weer aan die gang te kom na die vakansie.

Ek gaan vir seker die week wat kom my beste probeer om wel weer by my etiese opleiding uit te kom….miskien kan ek nog so ietsie leer wat ek kan toepas op my lysie wat net groei en groei. Die werk wat inkom teen 90 myl per uur terwyl ek goed uitkry teen 1 myl per uur….

Ek bid vir hulp van bo, want alleen kan ek nie die stryd wen nie….soos die Psalm digter geskryf het – ek slaan my oë op na die berge, waarvandaan sal my hulp kom? My hulp kom van die Here wat hemel en aarde geskape het….

The continuous ethics training