The joy always comes in the morning. Words that I tell myself often and I think purely it is because someone else said it to me when I was younger. Perhaps my mother? A few years ago I realised that this was from God’s word these words, out of scripture.
This month the scripture is Psalms 30:5 and the essence of that scripture is joy. You see, since 2020 it was as if my joy had been stolen by the enemy. Before then too, but since 2020, it was almost amplified if I can use that word here. More intense.
I know at some stage during 2020 I felt like I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!! and all that, while I was at home the whole time. Did anyone else also feel like that? I felt like I was in a jail of some sort. The sword of uncertainty hanging over our heads the whole time. Which way is this Pandemic going to go? Are we going to fall ill? Are my loved ones going to fall ill? Will I still be able to generate income in spite of the Pandemic?
What is the economy going to look like? The previous Pandemic was followed by the Great Depression. Are we also going to experience something like this in our lifetime? How do we handle this? The questions ran around in my mind, leaving a path of sadness and destruction. Almost like a footpath that has been walked on over and over, where the grass does not want to grow anymore.
Many mornings I struggled to find my joy in 2020 and even in 2021. Everything was just too much at times. It was as if the lack of joy was just there, day in and day out. Did others also feel like this? Or was I the only one? I have been through tough times during the Pandemic. I also know that I am not the only one that struggled during this time.
Something that I do love is, that, when I am at my lowest low, I feel the closest to God. It is as if I can hear His voice more clearly. I still remember one day, where I was sitting in tears, behind my computer, trying to tell and explain to my husband how I feel. I struggled to find the words to explain to him what I was feeling and experiencing inside of me.
The next moment, we hear a song playing on Spotify. It was as if God just placed the words there so that my husband can hear it. Obviously the tears were more as I listened to the song. It felt as if God was speaking to me directly, in an audible verbal form.
I cannot explain how, what or where. But, after that song, my joy came back. It was as if my spirit calmed down, because she knew God sees and hears EVERYTHING. He knows my heart, He knows what makes me happy and sad.
At this present day, I do not enjoy it that much to listen to that song. Probably because I am not at THAT low place anymore. But, when I struggle, feeling worn out, this is the song that I like to play over and over and listen to.
God is so good and wonderful to us as people. May we always remember, when we are on our lowest low, that God is there. It is so true what David wrote about – even when I go through the valley of death, there is God. I am sure I am not quoting the words correctly, but I am sure you understand what I am trying to say here.
I also feel in my spirit that April’s scripture will only have one entry. Purely because it is very simple. Just keep on looking for God in everything, even if you feel you are at your lowest of low level in your life. SEARCH for Him. He is everywhere and if you start searching you will surely find Him. This too is out of scriptures and I can confirm this from my own experience. I choose to listen to God’s voice and to search for Him.
I see the tears sitting on your cheeks. I know you’re tired, fall now to sleep. Stop fighting so hard, it’s time to surrender. Raise your white flag, and always remember. Your heart will feel lighter, everything will be brighter, find peace in knowing that all will be well in the morning….I hear the song’s words play and I think to myself, it is true. Everything will be better in the morning!
Die vreugde…
