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The Ethics training – month 4 (a month to reflect on)

Back to my training, which I am trying hard to catch up (by the way). During April, which is now my month 4 for the journaling side of the ethics training, I did not get to doing what I had worked so hard to keep up and do daily for about 5 to 10 minutes.

The journaling was few and far between. On 25 April 2022 (note the impossible time of the month that I make this decision – I often wonder if that is just part of my personality type according to Tall Trees – to choose the busiest times to do things?). Ok back to the date that I decided that I had to MAKE time to sit and just catch up again on the journaling. After doing the third day’s journaling (all in one day) I realised how much I missed this part of the course. The journaling and getting my thoughts written onto paper.

At this point in time, I feel like an epic fail when it comes to my continuous ethics training, because nothing about it seems continuous. It feels like I am always and forever catching up with things that fell behind! And now the same is happening AGAIN with this training…

I did not even have time to write this piece like I normally do when I feel the inspiration coming, because it has just been busy with work, kids, school and just coping with the colder weather…coping with the cold fronts seems to be taking my energy, because it is not that easy to get up early any more.

So I decided this time around to jot down some notes that came to mind, just so that I do not forget what I want to write about. I also meant to write this article three weeks ago and not now only (actually even earlier but anyway). Now, what I can see that is busy happening, not relating to ethics at all, but rather to my blog, is that I have notebooks ALL OVER THE SHOW! I try to use one dedicated notebook for the blog prompts that I want to keep track of.

But I have a few lying around that I make different notes in (different books for different things). Some sort of order but also not really. To any outside person it will seem like chaos, but I know what is going on there. For how long, I am not sure. It is like I have this overflow of words and thoughts that need to come out and be placed into order somehow.

Many days I wonder what it would be like if writing was my job? Would I find it as satisfying as I do now or would I feel meh about it like I sometimes feel towards my day job, especially during pressure times? Man, here I lost track yet again about what I wanted to say!!

So working through month 4’s journal prompts, I realised that this was a month to reflect on. Reflecting on thoughts, statements and just things. Some of the reflecting journal prompts were like tongue twisters to me! Like that of day 13. Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. Say this one 3 times fast….

I also realised that this journaling that is incorporated into the ethics training might not seem like everyone’s cup of tea. I know I frowned upon it when I started, thinking WHAT is THIS going to help me? But, later on, I realised that I was wrong and that these journal prompts (which only starts at month 2 if I am not mistaken) are actually just things to get your thoughts going…to start thinking about life differently.

Soooooo….hopefully I will be able to catch up on some journal prompts for months 5 to 7 all in one month AND catch up on the training videos and assessments so that I can finish in the month that I am supposed to finish and have the certificates as proof that I did do continuous ethics training throughout the year… (and not have all of the certificates issued on the same day).

I know I say this every month and I truly hope that I can find a gap between the deadlines and sign off dates of financials and audits to manage this. Not even talking about juggling the family and kids in between all of this…until I write again about the next month(s) experience…thus far it has been a very satisfying journey, even if it sometimes takes a lot of time to catch up when falling behind, frustrating me, but, that is life I suppose….?

Die etiese opleiding – maand 4 (‘n maand van refleksie)
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Die etiese opleiding – maand 4 (‘n maand van refleksie)

Terug by my opleiding, wat ek so hard probeer om op te vang (net so tussen ons). Gedurende April, dis nou my maand 4 van die joernaal inskrywings, het ek nie by my daaglikse 5 tot 10 minute take uitgekom om aan te hou met dit wat ek so hard voor gewerk het om op datum te (probeer) hou nie…ek het ALWEER agter geraak!

Die joernaal inskrywings maar aan die min en dun kant, so te sê. Op 25 April 2022 (let op hoe ek onmoontlike datums en tye kies om goed te doen – ek wonder baie of dit deel is van my persoonlikheidstipe volgens Tall Trees…?). Goed so terug by my sin, op daardie datum besluit ek dat ek MOET tyd maak om net weer op te vang met alles wat verwag en vereis word. Nadat ek die derde dag se inskrywings gedoen het (alles in een dag) besef ek hoe baie ek hierdie deel van die kursus gemis het – die joernaal inskrywings en om my gedagtes aan die gang te kry.

Op hierdie tydstip, voel ek soos ‘n epic fail soos die kinders sal sê wanneer dit kom by my voortdurende etiese opleiding, want niks van dit voel vir my voortdurend nie. Ek voel of ek alewig besig is om goed op te vang wat agter geraak het! En nou gebeur dieselfde WEER met hierdie opleiding….

Ek het nie eens tyd om hierdie stuk te skryf soos ek normaalweg doen wanneer ek voel of inspirasie aan die voordeur klop nie. Dit was net BESIG tussen kinders, werk, skool en net om te cope met die kouer weer….om aan te pas met die koue voel of dit al my energie tap, want dis wragties nie meer maklik om vroeg op te staan nie.

Die keer besluit ek om maar ‘n paar nota’s in ‘n boek te skryf, soos wat hulle hul opwagting maak in my gedagtes, net om seker te maak ek vergeet nie wat ek wou sê en skryf nie. Ek het ook bedoel om die artikel al 3 weke terug te skryf en nie nou eers nie (eintlik seker vroeër maar in elkgeval). Wat ek nou sien besig is om te gebeur, niks met etiese opleiding uit te waai nie, maar eerder my blog en alles wat met dit saam gaan, is dat ek notaboeke ORAL het!! Ek probeer een gespesifiseerde notaboek gebruik vir die blog inspirasie wat ek probeer orden.

Maar ek het ‘n paar wat rondlê waarin ek verskillende nota’s maak (verskillende notaboeke vir verskillende dinge). Soort van orde maar ook seker nie regtig nie. Vir enige buitestaander sal dit soos chaos voorkom, maar ek weet wat daar aangaan. Vir hoe lank is ‘n ander vraag vir ‘n ander dag. Dis asof ek hierdie oormaat idees en woorde het wat net moet uit kom en in een of ander orde geplaas moet word.

Baie dae wonder ek hoe dit sou wees as skryf my day job was. Sou ek dit so bevredigend gevind het soos nou of sou ek meh oor dit gevoel het, soos ek soms in druk tye voel oor my day job? Liewe aarde, daar verloor ek weer heeltemal die punt wat ek wou sê!

Goed, so terug by die joernaal inskrywings – soos wat ek deur die prompts (by gebrek aan ‘n beter Afrikaanse woord) werk vir maand 4, besef ek dat dit ‘n maand is om oor te reflekteer. Reflekteer oor gedagtes, standpunte en net goed. Van die daaglikse prompts was soos ‘n tongue twister vir my! Soos die van dag 13. Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. Sê dit nou 3 keer vinnig…

Ek het ook besef dat hierdie joernaal inskrywings wat saamgestel en ingesluit is in hierdie etiese opleiding, is nou nie vir almal nie. Mense sal dalk selfs sê Dis vir die voëls en ek is nie ‘n voël nie. Ek weet ek het self gefrons aan die begin toe ek dit sien. Ek het by myself gedink HOE gaan DIT my help? Wel, ek was verkeerd en het later besef dat hierdie journal prompts (wat eers by maand 2 begin as ek nou reg onthou) eintlik maar net goed is om jou gedagtes aan die gang te kry….om anders te begin dink oor die lewe.

Soooooo….hopelik sal ek bietjie kan opvang op die gebied vir die volgende paar maande van maand 5 tot 7 toe, alles in een maand EN hopelik opvang op die opleiding videos en assesserings sodat ek kan klaar maak in die maand waarin ek veronderstel is om klaar te maak. Ek moet sertifikate as bewyse hê dat ek wel deurlopende etiese opleiding gehad het gedurende die jaar….(almal is nie veronderstel om op een dag uitgereik te word nie).

Ek weet ek sê dit elke maand en ek hoop regtig dat ek ‘n gaping gaan vind tussen die sperdatums en afteken van finansiële state, oudits en wie weet wat nog alles aan die gang is werksgewys. Nie eens te praat van al die balle wat ek in die lug probeer hou wat familie en kinders aanbetref nie….tot ek weer skryf oor die volgende maand se ervaring….tot dusver was dit ‘n baie bevredigende reis gewees, selfs al neem dit soms baie tyd om op te vang wanneer ek agter geraak het, iets wat my baie frustreer, maar, dis die lewe seker….?

The Ethics training – month 4 (a month to reflect on)