I first did this entry directly on Facebook, thinking it will only be a one liner that goes with this photo. It then turned out to be a chapter of some sort and I decided that I need to put this on my website for those who read my blog and who are not on Facebook.
I was looking for something on my phone when this photo popped up. I forgot I took it. Every time I think back to 2020 I feel like crying. It was probably the worst time ever for humanity. Driving around in what felt like a ghost town. Fearing the unknown and invisible virus. Wondering if you will catch it at the shops and bring it home to infect your loved ones.
Waiting in queues at shops to buy food, not being able to find everything you normally do. Being glared at by people when you buy both Corn Flakes AND All Bran, silently being labelled as a panic buyer, when in fact that is what your family consumes.
Every person on this earth was affected by the Pandemic. Everyone experienced trauma. Everyone needs to learn to cope with it and make peace with the fact that 2020 will be a part of your memories, whether you like it or not.
I do not ever want to have that time again. Lockdown was terrible. Having to homeschool and work (which I am still trying to catch up by the way – the work part). Trying to stay sane. Trying to catch my breath and just breathe. Trying myself, to work through massive trauma but trying to stay standing for my kids’ sake.
Not knowing what the future holds. The uncertainties. No wonder everyone suffers from anxiety or anything related to it. No one knows how to deal with it. How are we supposed to expect our kids to not have anxiety?
Before we judge anyone on anything now, two years later, just take a moment and think of their mental health and their trauma that they had to work through. Your trauma is not more traumatic than my trauma. Trauma is trauma and it affects us all.
I pray that God will take away these painful memories, the tears that often want to well up in my eyes as I feel the change of season and being reminded of 2 years ago, even if I did not willfully want to remember it. Thank God that I can call myself His child.
Because of the Pandemic my blog and new business came into existence (all unplanned but out of His hand). God used the bad and made it good and better. May we stop focusing on the MINORITY of bad and focus on the MAJORITY of good.
I pray that my children are not permanently scarred. I did not always act like a mother during that time. We all had our moments. I did not know how to deal with it. I expected my kids to just go on and do their school work like they are not affected by this thing.
I am sure my heart will still ache and tears will still come to my eyes this time of the year, for a few years to come. But one day I will get up and that will be a thing of the past.
Thank you God for protecting us, keeping us safe, for providing for us in spite of a very difficult economy. All the glory be to God always! Thank you that one day, soon and in the near future, the change of season will not affect my emotions like it is currently affected. Thank you that we will be able to function as “normal” as we possibly can, living with the unseen virus.
Die “countdown timer”
