Tag: benevolence

Posted on by — Leave a comment

The word

So I have been walking around with a word in my mind, since last week sometime. The word? Benevolence. Now, for a primarily Afrikaans speaking person, this is a big word. Something that does not form part of my vocabulary at all. I had to go and google the word to see what it meant. The word came to me in English too. Something that does not happen often.

My entries normally start in Afrikaans, my thoughts about it and what I feel God wants me to write are all usually in Afrikaans. But this time it was different. Everything happened in English. I have been carrying this word in my mind, asking God what He wants me to write about it. When something like this is on my mind as much as this was, then I just KNOW I have to write about it.

Of course, when you google the meaning, it means the quality of being well meaning, kindness. I left it there, because what am I supposed to do with this? I KNOW God is Benevolent, so to write about that was a bit of a challenge to me, because what am I supposed to write? The Bible is full of testimonies of God being a Benevolent God.

You see how I have now made this word part of my vocabulary? I have to chuckle at this, a word I have never used before was used more than once in a paragraph. Anyway, I am getting distracted again!

Now before I got the word Benevolence, I had been feeling something in my spirit. I could not quite place my finger on it, because it is a feeling I have felt before but also not felt before, saying all of that in the same breath. I have this agitation hanging over me like a cloud.

I am just so irritated with everything and everyone, why I don’t know. From the dogs, to the parrot, the hamster, the kids, the authorities and their ridiculous requirements for us as CA’s and everything (and everyone) in between was agitating me. This is not normal behavior to me, this is something that I had laid off years ago, yet now it is surfacing again. almost like it is coming up to breathe. Why I could not say.

Then God sent me this word. Everywhere in my mind, I see the word and I am reminded of it. Almost like in life, when you notice something, you NOTICE it if you know what I mean? Like a car brand, once you become aware of it, you see it EVERYWHERE! Now this was the same with this word.

If I have to put this into a picture for you of how it was, it would be as follows – in my mind, I saw it written on a banner, then a billboard, then a road sign next to the road, on pieces of paper, even the mushrooms popping up in the grass seemed to spell Benevolence. That is how in my face it was (only in my mind not physically around me).

This morning I realised WHY God gave me this word. You see, I have a teenager in the house and a little tween, who is becoming a tween too quickly according to me, because she is only 8 years of age. Man oh man, did I forget the knowledge that one supposedly possess at the age of 8 and 13 years.

Being benevolent with them has become a challenge. The arguments of how they think something works and must be, when I know it does not work that way. The attitude that I get when I only put in a sandwich for school (this is the tween by the way) and not something else. Or when I put in the something else in a lunch box that is not to her liking, then all things benevolent fly out the door.

Or when the teenager argues about a steering wheel accessory for the X-Box (yes, we purchased one, something that we said we would NEVER do – well, never say NEVER). And when it is installed and plugged in, it does not work as expected. Something which we told him would happen. Him putting it to one side, because it does not work as he had thought it would, wasting money on something like that not being used. When this happens, all benevolence runs out the door, trying to set a new world record for 100 metre sprints, trying to beat Usain Bolt’s world record.

So here I am. Guilty as charged. Not showing benevolence. I realise that God is pressing very hard on my heart to work on this. I have to use the tools that He is providing. The tools I am referring to, are the Tall Trees Ethics Training from ProBeta and Hettie Brittz. The latest addition to my tools, is the EI Activator, which is an add-on or plug in if I may refer to it in that way (and use some computer lingo, something that I have limited knowledge of), to the Tall Trees Ethics Training.

All of these things take time. It feels like life is happening, not allowing me to get to explore these tools. Lucky for me, it is now a requirement to do Ethics training to remain a CA. That is the reason WHY I chose something useful and purposeful like the Tall Trees Ethics Training and EI Activator. And yes, I say it like that now, because, I decided to look for the positive in this requirement, rather than sitting on the sidewalk, with my can of worms, complaining about the requirements.

I truly hope (and deep down know) that I will find benevolence when I start exploring, dissecting and excavating the field of EI Activator. The ground work and tone is being set in the Tall Trees Ethics Training, I just have to finish that (said tongue in the cheek because I am on month 4 and I have forgotten what was said, so I am probably going to have to redo it all in any way, before I can answer the questions to obtain the CPD certificate), so that I can move on to the EI Activator part of the expedition that I am finding myself in.

I know I have not been Benevolent, this is not God’s plan for me, to not be Benevolent. Let us take up the challenge with the teens and tweens in our house, the authorities, the pets and everything in between. Let us use Benevolence as our tool in this challenge. Benevolence – noun – the quality of being well meaning; kindness. How Benevolent are you?

Die woord
Posted on by — Leave a comment

Die woord

Sedert laas week een of ander tyd, loop ek rond met ‘n woord in my gedagtes. Die woord? Benevolence. Nou vir ‘n primêre Afrikaans-sprekende persoon, is die ‘n groot woord. Dis nie iets wat enigsins deel vorm van my woordeskat nie. Ek moes gaan google wat dit beteken, want ek het nie ‘n clue gehad wat dit beteken nie. Die woord het ook so, in Engels, na my toe gekom. Iets wat nie gereeld gebeur nie.

My inskrywings begin gewoonlik in Afrikaans, my gedagtes rondom dit en wat ek voel die Here wil hê ek moet skryf oor iets, gebeur alles in Afrikaans. Maar hierdie keer was dit anders. Alles het in Engels gebeur. Ek het selfs die inskrywing in Engels eerste gedoen, waar ek gewoonlik dit in Afrikaans eerste doen. Ek loop met hierdie woord in my gedagtes en ek vra God wat Hy wil hê ek daaroor moet skryf. Wanneer iets so konstant in my gedagtes is, dan WEET ek net dat ek daaroor moet skryf.

Natuurlik, toe ek die woord gaan google sien ek toe wat dit beteken. Dit is die kwaliteit van goedgesindheid, vriendelikheid. Hier het ek nou net sommer direk die Engelse betekenis vertaal, ek glo dis reg. Ek WEET God is Benevolent, so om hieroor te skryf is so bietjie van ‘n uitdaging vir my, want wat is ek nou veronderstel om te skryf? Die Bybel is dan propvol beloftes en getuienisse van God wat ‘n Benevolent God is.

Sien jy nou hoe ek daardie woord deel gemaak het van my woordeskat? Al is dit die Engelse woord. Ek moet giggel vir dit, ‘n woord wat ek nooit voorheen gebruik het nie, gebruik ek sommer oor en oor in een paragraaf. Ek wonder wat is die Afrikaans vir Benevolence? Ek raak distracted, ek weet. Maar ek het gou dit gaan google en die Afrikaanse woord is Welwillendheid. Wie sou kon raai dat dit die woord in Afrikaans is? Die Engelse een klink beter (en meer fêncy) so ek gaan maar aanhou om hom te gebruik.

Nou voor ek die woord Benevolence gekry het, het ek iets in my gees gevoel. Ek kon nie heeltemal my vinger op dit plaas nie, want dis ‘n gevoel wat ek voorheen gehad het maar ook nie, so in dieselfde asem gesê. Ek het hierdie irritasie wat soos ‘n wolk oor my hang.

Ek is net so geirriteerd met alles en almal, hoekom weet ek nie. Van die honde, tot die pappagaai, die hamster, die kinders, die owerhede en hul belaglike vereistes vir ons as CA’s en enige iets (en iemand) tussen in, het my geirriteer. Dit is nie normale gedrag vir my nie, want dit is iets wat ek jare gelede al afgelê het. Maar nou is dit asof dit opkom om asem te skep. Hoekom weet ek nie.

Toe stuur God vir my hierdie woord. Orals in my gedagtes sien ek die woord en word ek herinner daaraan. Amper soos in die lewe, wanneer jy iets opmerk, dan SIEN JY DIT ORAL as jy verstaan wat ek bedoel? Soos ‘n tipe kar, as jy eers bewus word van dit, dan sien jy dit ORAL! Nou dit was dieselfde met hierdie woord.

As ek dit nou in ‘n prentjie moet skets vir jou van hoe dit was, sou ek sê dit was as volg – in my gedagtes, sien ek dit op ‘n bannier, dan op ‘n billboard, dan ‘n padteken langs die pad, op stukke papier, selfs die sampioene wat in die gras opspring voel of dit Benevolence spel. Dis hoe in my face dit was (in my gedagtes natuurlik, nie regtig fisies om my nie).

Vanoggend besef ek HOEKOM God die woord vir my gegee het. Jy sien, ek het ‘n tiener in die huis, asook ‘n tween, een wat te vinnig na my smaak ‘n tween begin word, want sy is nou eers 8 jaar oud. Mense ouers, het ek nou vir jou vergeet hoe propvol kennis mens is op die ouderdom van 8 en 13 jaar!

Om met hulle benevolent te wees, het ‘n groot uitdaging geword. Die argumente van hoe hulle dink iets moet wees en werk, wanneer ek weet dit werk nie so nie. Die houding wat ek kry wanneer ek net ‘n kosblik met ‘n toeba inpak vir skool (dis nou die tween net so tussen ons wat my hier houding gee) en nie ook iets anders insit nie. Of wanneer ek wel iets anders insit, in ‘n kosblik wat sy nie van hou nie, dan vlieg alle dinge benevolent by die deur uit.

Of wanneer die tiener stry oor ‘n stuurwiel accessory vir die X-Box (ja, ons het een gekoop, iets wat ons gesê het ons NOOIT sal doen nie – wel, never say NEVER). En wanneer dit geinstalleer en ingeprop is en nie werk soos die verwagting is nie. Iets wat ons vir hom gesê het sou gebeur. Hy wat dit een kant toe skuif, want dit werk nie soos hy gedink het dit sal nie, besig om geld te mors op iets wat nie gebruik kan en gaan word nie. Wanneer dit gebeur, dan is dit asof elke stukkie benevolence by die deur uit hardloop, ‘n nuwe wêreld rekord vir die 100 meter probeer opstel en Usain Bolt’s se wêreld rekord probeer breek.

So hier is ek. Guilty as charged. Ek wys nie benevolence nie. Ek besef dat God dit hard op my hart druk om hieraan te werk. Ek moet elke stukkie gereedskap gebruik wat Hy besig is om te voorsien. Die gereedskap waarvan ek praat is die Tall Trees Ethics Training van ProBeta en Hettie Brittz. Die nuutste toevoeging tot my gereedskap is die EI Activator, wat ek sien as ‘n add-on of plug in (as ek nou rekenaar taal kan gebruik, waarvan ek ook beperkte kennis het) tot die Tall Trees Ethics Training.

Hierdie dinge vat tyd. Dit voel of die lewe net gebeur en my nie toelaat om hierdie gereedskap te ontdek nie. Gelukkig is dit nou ‘n vereiste om Etiese Opleiding te doen om ‘n CA te bly. Dit is die rede HOEKOM ek iets nuttig en opbouend soos die Tall Trees Ethics Training en EI Activator gekies het. En ja, ek sê dit nou so, want, ek het besluit om eerder die positiewe in hierdie vereiste te gaan soek, eerder as om op die sypaadjie met my blikkie wurms te gaan sit en kla oor die vereistes.

Ek hoop werklik (en diep binne my weet ek) dat ek benevolence sal vind wanneer ek begin ontdek, dissekteer en uitgrawe in die veld van EI Activator. Die grond werk word gedoen en die toon word gestel deur die Tall Trees Ethics Training, ek moet dit net klaar maak (tong in die kies gesê, want ek is by maand 4 en ek het al lankal vergeet wat gesê was so ek gaan alles dalk weer oor moet doen voor ek my vragies kan antwoord om my sertifikaat te kry), sodat ek kan aanbeweeg na die EI Activator deel van die ekspedisie waar ek myself tans bevind.

Ek weet ek was nie Benevolent nie, dis nie God se plan vir my om nie Benevolent te wees nie. Kom ons vat die uitdaging aan, met die tieners en tweens in ons huise, die owerhede, die troeteldiere en alles tussen in. Laat ons Benevolence as ons gereedskap gebruik in hierdie uitdaging. Benevolence – noun – the quality of being well meaning; kindness. Hoe Benevolent is jy?

The word