Oh my WORD!! Let me tell you, we are all still trying to recover from the first week back in routine and on top of it all, a new school with new times and everything new in terms of routine.
You name it, it is new for us…..books must be covered and that is literally happening between 3 and 4 in the morning (ok maybe rather between 4 and 5 in the morning) because there is no other time to do this. I feel like a sleep walker. I become MOMSTER.
My husband asks me what is wrong, I probably looked at him with this expression on my face. You know, the one that says That is a stupid question dude! I have been up since 4 in the morning! I don’t think I really answered him, except saying that I am TIRED. But we survived.
How, I do not know, but we did. We were not late for school, got everything done that the school had asked us to do and I could manage to attend my exercise class on Wednesday afternoon. You are probably wondering why it is so heavy for us to get back into routine? Previously we could drop our kids a bit later in the mornings, but now we have to drop them half an hour earlier, which means that everything we do must move up by a half an hour or even more…..it is a lot and a huge adjustment….and where we live it means we must travel more and further than people that live in town…
With this uncertainty inside me, I wonder HOW I am going to manage everything this year, especially this month and February. Normally there is not enough time to get everything done, now even more so. On top of it all we have to attend some school activities, fitting it in between everything else….
I hyperventilate when no one is watching, because I must keep my pose. I still want to panic and run like the gif of Sponge Bob and Patrick, running and screaming like a crazy person. How do people do it?? How do other moms get it right??
How do people that work from 8 to 5 full time, without domestic workers do it? How do you stay sane AND get time for yourself AND all the other admin in and around the house? Do they sleep less? I wonder by myself. It always feels as if there are things that have to be sorted out, when are we supposed to do that?
Maybe their speed is faster than mine? Maybe I am a sloth and just so very sloooooow? That is how I feel. Is it because I am becoming older? Or is this the repercussions from the Pandemic? All these questions wash through my mind, coming in like waves, breaking, pulling back, becoming calm only for the next round of waves of questions to roll in.
Yesterday morning I have a chat with my husband. He recons we must just roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. I am stressing unnecessarily according to him. I look at him, again with a weird expression on my face, and think to myself HOW? My personality does not allow for rolling with the punches and one day at a time. I get frustrated if my day’s plan do not work out as it should have.
When one of the institutions we work with, have an issue on their website, not working, hanging and you struggle for hours to get a simple task done, then I get frustrated. It messes with my plans. Because that unplanned time spent on something out of my control, has to be caught up somewhere by ME. And the only place where I can catch up is to reduce sleep time. Less sleep. Because everything has DEAD LINES. So to let something stand over to the next day does not really help much, because then I am behind with tomorrow’s planning already….
The waves of questions and plans of what, where and how roll through my mind. HOW am I going to do it? WHERE am I going to get the time? WHAT am I going to do if my planning does not work out? SHOULD I still plan? Because if I plan it does not work out, if I don’t plan it does not work out. Do you know how frustrating that is for a Boxwood tree personality? Everything must be on their place ALWAYS.
This morning when I got up, I was humming a song I heard on Spotify once….I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength….Mmmmm….this makes me think. One of my favorite verses. I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. I CAN do this. God is going to help me! It is not necessary to hyperventilate or to panic & run like Sponge Bob and Patrick.
We do not HAVE to try to do everything ALONE. We must just ask God to help us, hold us in His hand, giving us the necessary strength and energy….Hands of mercy won’t you cover me? I feel the song’s words washing over my mind like a Tsunami, removing the smaller waves of doubt and questions. Suddenly it is wiped out with God’s peace. I can do everything through Him that gives me strength. Not on my own, ever.
Die eerste week terug….
