Category: The Pink Feathers

I was awake one morning early this past week. Something that has not happened in a long time. Surprisingly enough I feel rested enough to get up. To lie around and wait for the sun to come up feels like a total and utter waste of time. I sit behind my laptop and decide to get some quotes for the project.

I start on Facebook, do Google searches. You name it I did it. I ask all these questions on all the quotes. Some people just don’t understand what it is that I am asking for. Then I hear it again – Doubt is screaming in my ears. Am I not TOO specific? Is it not too early in the morning that I am not awake enough and cannot type properly? These are only a few of the questions that ran through my mind.

It feels like I am hitting the one brick wall after the other. As if things just don’t want to happen. Did I waste time AND money on this project? Did I get excited for nothing about this Divine Heavenly download that God gave me? I feel a bit deflated at times. At the point of just giving up.

Then I get the e-mail from someone. He can print the things for me the way I want it. No problem. Just not bigger than a certain size – which is perfect for me else it is too big. Again I sit with my hands in my hair in absolute unbelief. Can it be true? Is it really going to happen?

I confirm with him that I will finalise my designs this weekend. You see, it is month end here again AND end of year madness is starting to kick in. Everyone wants something of me. I like to refer to this feeling as Stukkie van der Merwe (an Afrikaans song that I have not really listened to in depth so I cannot tell you exactly what it is about….) – everyone wants a piece of something. Just quickly this and that.

I chat with someone else, she suggests that I do a catalogue. I think to myself – HOW? I wanted to have the things printed and then make a video to promote and market it in that manner. My goodness, I do not even know HOW MANY to make? What price am I going to charge? How much is it going to cost? What if I print too many and then I get stuck with things that I will have to use until the end of the world if it does not sell?

To be continued….

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Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 3

As the project reaches the end of its runway (gosh I had to Google this as I could not think what aanloopbaan was in English!). Anyway, as it reaches the end of the track, ready to take off, I hear this noise. Hectic loud noise. It is so loud I struggle to hear anything else. I keep quiet for a moment. Then I realise – it is Chaos and Doubt that is making this noise.

I am trying to ensure that I heard correctly. MUST I do what God has laid on my heart? Did I hear correctly? Is it not me getting carried away again with something that I enjoy doing? Am I not getting excited because it is something DIFFERENT to my day job?

Just as the pressure from Chaos and Doubt almost becomes too much for me, and I almost give up on everything, I HEAR God’s voice again. He sends me confirmation. The confirmation is in such a unique way like I have never experienced it before. It comes with two scriptures in three different messages. Both the scriptures overlap in the messages that I receive. I hope this makes sense what I am trying to say? Long and short – Message 1 had a scripture, then message 2 has the scripture from message 1 and another additional scripture. Lastly the third message had the second scripture from message 2 in it. How is that for a riddle? Almost like my mom’s bother’s wife’s aunt’s dog’s babysitter. (As I typed this, this just sounds better in Afrikaans, but I leave it here anyway, I am sure you understand what I am trying to say…).

Wow, if I ever wondered, well, now I know! It is what it is. It MUST be done! I MUST do this!! This is what God wants. As I work on my day job, it is as if God drops things into my spirit at regular intervals. I grab my dedicated note book and make notes as I receive it and then I continue with my day job. You know, the one that puts food on the table and pays the bond, that day job.

My goodness, I have NEVER in my life experienced something like this! It is a turmoil of STUFF. Do this, do that, make so and so…(that just sounds like a direct translation but I am leaving it here anyway as that is what my mind told me). It feels like I cannot stay ahead!! It is like I am receiving this absolute Divine Heavenly download. Things God is just GIVING me. The decision remains mine what I want to do with it. Do I ignore it or do I take the leap of faith?

I chat with Anri again. She suggests that this thing that I want to do, must not be bilingual together in one thing (it is very cryptic what I am trying to say, but you will see in the closing chapter what it all is about). It makes it look cluttered and just not pretty. I listen to her and agree. I thought I was saving time (and money) but actually, it will just destroy the whole effect to try and squash everything in.

While working on the project again, it is as if God shows me WHY He made the two ladies part of the project. You see, the one is Afrikaans and the other one English. It was not a deliberate decision before hand. It just happened.

To be continued…..

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Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 2

Following my recent incident with technology, I felt that God laid something on my heart that must be done. Ok, it was actually laid on my heart BEFORE the incident with the laptop. But, I was VERY skeptical about this concept that He wants me to do, especially before the episode with the laptop. I shared it with two people who are close to my heart and they were almost more excited than what I was about this THING that God laid on my heart to do! Just like that, easy peazey lemon squeezy I had a team of two people who will help me to look at this project with critical eyes before the big launch.

You see, He is busy with a new season for me. I was unsure what it was, somedays I still feel unsure about the whole thing. But I can FEEL it. Deep in my spirit I can just FEEL it. I do not know how else to describe it other than this total and utter calmness inside of me, even if chaos is calling all round me.

It surely does not mean that I am suddenly all high & mighty and don’t panic at times about things. No, unfortunately I still have MOMENTS. But the MOMENTS do not rule my life. Not like before.

I start to work on the project, chat with selective people about that, because God’s instruction was to NOT share it with everyone, like I normally do. No, I must test the waters and ask a few people what they think about the concept and then work from there.

So it happened that I chat with Anri from Painted Lemons and I asked her to do the blog’s logo electronically. One thing leads to another and when I saw again she was part of the design and concept! Something I am so grateful for. You see, she has a very trained eye when it comes to designs and she is not scared to give her opinion at all.

I am very eager to learn and grab hold of any and all pieces of constructive criticism uttered. I make the changes systematically. She guided me so wonderfully during this process and gave me such precious advice about everything. From the design to the layout, ag just sommer about everything!

Each moment that I have, that is my own, is applied to this project. Week nights I work for short periods of time and this frustrates me for two reasons. The first one is that by the time I get round to doing this, I am so EXHAUSTED after laboring the whole day and everything that had to be done. The second one is the small amount of time that I have to do something but actually not doing anything you know?

Last weekend I sat pretty much the entire Sunday working on the project. Finally it is done! I am not sure if I should laugh or cry because this is it. It is DONE. I am finished with this, barely 2 or 3 weeks after I started this project. The project that felt so overwhelming and TOO MUCH at times, is finally finished. I am not sure how this is possible, but it is finished.

To be continued….

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Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 1