An idea pops in my head as I settle down behind my computer, with the late afternoon sun shining through the window over my keyboard. I see a little train taking on a steep hill, he is working hard and I hear the noise that he is making I-know-I-can-I-can-do-it-I-know-I-can-I-can-do-it rather than the normal chugga-chugga-chugga sound that a steam train makes.
I don’t know if this is now just by accident that I remember a picture from my childhood or whether I watched a story at some time with this image. But I do know that God showed it to me for a reason.
None-the-less, the sun is LOVELY here and I realise just HOW privileged I am to be right here at this very moment. This month’s scripture is also one of my favorites, from Philippians. I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
You see, like the little train, it sometimes feels to me, and probably to others too, that I have to get on top of this massive hill called life. Along the way there are challenges, nowhere in the Bible we are exempted from a life without challenges. But, we are guaranteed that God is next to us and we can do things through Him that gives us strength.
We have to choose how we see the challenges. The road of uncertainty and with no clear footpath that we sometimes feel that we are on, uncertain of where we must go or whether we are on the right road. Or the potholes that make us move a bit slower than what we want to so that we cannot climb out the hill as quickly as we think we should.
Again this scripture is so accurate at this point in time, I cannot help but want to give God a fist pump. You see, like my previous entry stated – the dynamics in the firm has changed and things are landing up back on my desk. Sometimes I wonder if I really will be able to deal with it all and other times I just know that we will be more than ok.
God is busy showing us the way, filling our engines with coal and lighting it up so that we can get to the top of the hill. When I feel down and out about things that I must do and deal with, changes with authorities and systems that I perceive to be not so great in my opinion (if I may give an opinion at all), then I look at this scripture and I see the train.
God’s train. I am His train, as I climb the hill, with smoke coming from my engine as a sign that I am His and that His fire is burning inside of me (not pollution type of smoke – I am sure you understand what I am trying to say here). Smoke that is a sign for other engines that they must get their coal loaded, filled with God’s word and to get it lit by the Holy Spirit, so that they too can climb steep hills.
Where is your train? Do you feel like you cannot go on anymore? Do you have enough coal to burn? Maybe we should start there! You cannot run on fumes and expect get to the top of the hill. You must ensure that your engine is filled with God’s word so that the Holy Spirit can strike the match to burn the coal, turning it into energy. It is only then when Philippians 4:13 can be activated in your life, enabling you to do everything through Christ that gives you strength.
I-know-I-can-I-can-do-it-I-know-I-can-I-can-do-it I hear my engine’s efforts to get up the steep hill that I feel is lying in front of me. Maybe it is not so steep and hard? Maybe I am just not yet close enough to know that it is actually only a little speed bump. But until then I will repeat the words from scripture. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
We all know that there are different seasons and that they all come to an end while moving over to the next one. Not just physical seasons like summer, winter, autumn and spring. No. Emotional and spiritual seasons too.
As it is written in Ecclesiastes 3, there is a time for everything. I think Solomon thought DEEP about things and managed to capture it in words so that we can read it decades and generations later. When I was younger, many of the things he wrote did not make sense to me at all.
But now that I have come of age (how is that for a fancy way of speaking English?) and am perhaps a bit wiser, and I also believe the closer I move to God, many more things start to make sense to me. You see, when you are young, you believe so many lies. Like that 40 is so far away. People that have been out of school for 24 years are old. And that life will stay the same for ever.
Well then. At age 41 I know that 40 is much closer as what I could ever imagine and that 50 is just a nudge away it feels. I AM now part of the people that have been out of school for 24 years, I do not feel ancient, so that statement cannot be true.
The biggest lie that exists is, is that life will stay the same for ever. This is actually two lies caught up into one. Firstly, nothing in life stays the same and secondly no one lives for ever.
So what am I actually trying to say with all my philosophical sayings and thoughts? Well, today, a curve ball was bowled my way and now I must play the shot. I hope I will be able to hit it for a 6, but, I will only know later and not as quickly as one normally knows in a 20/20 cricket match.
You see, the dynamics in our firm is changing. My little sister, the sister from another mister, the trainee (who has not been a trainee for a long time) has to spread her wings. She is ready to leave the nest. To leave footprints of light in the world.
I truly hope that she charged enough with us, not that we are the main source of energy and light. But I believe that we were (and are) like one of the stations where you can recharge your vehicle (the electronic type) to take you further on your journey.
I believe that we are plugged into the Main Source, namely God, and that we managed to carry out His message as we went about working. We laughed a lot, cried a bit less and many times out of frustrations about circumstances that are beyond our control, just looked at each other, shaking our heads and moved on with what needed to be done.
I mean, what employer asks a friend of the bride if she works with her (that while she was working with me)? We still laugh about that extreme blonde moment that I had. But that is how I saw her – rather a little sister or friend than an employee.
I pray that we equipped her with the knowledge the world expects her to have i.t.o. her training and qualification. That she will be more than a gain for any employer. Was it not Richard Branson that had this awesome quote?
Train people well enough so they can leave.Treat them well enough so they do not want to. I truly hope that we got the first part of the quote right and that the reason for her leaving is not due to us abusing and mistreating her.
Maréchelle, you will be missed. I saw you grow up in front of my eyes. From a shy 21 year old girl, to a confident woman and mother with knowledge and wisdom. Stay the person who you are. Make deep impressions in other people’s hearts like you did in ours. Most important of all – let your light shine, as brightly as it possibly can.
With sadness (I could not find the appropriate word for heimweë in English – all I could find is homesickness and that seems to be the wrong word to use) we are now watching how the little bird is ready to leave the nest and spread her wings. We said our goodbyes and cried our tears today. Lynette Berger of Probeta and EI Activator said that someone once told her Jump but build your wings on the way down. There is never a right time in ones life. You must just trust God with the decisions that you have made. Maréchelle, may your wings be built as you take this leap of faith. We are rooting for you from the sidelines!
Waking up on Monday morning, I feel exhausted, like usual, dragging myself to sit behind the computer to do my work. I struggle to get going. I feel overwhelmed by everything that must happen. Mondays in particular feel short to me. I normally struggle to get into a working mode after a weekend and sometimes I need a weekend after the weekend to just recover from being busy the two preceding days.
While doing my make up, I feel the thoughts moving through my mind and it feels like 1 million things all at once. When is my own hair going to be nice and thick and long like it was before the Pandemic (and maybe even before my mom’s death)? When will I be able to walk into a shop and buy a denim and know that it fits? Without it looking like I jumped from the top of the cupboard to fit into the pants? Why do I write a Blog? Do people really benefit from it? Do I spend enough time with God?
What is on my planning in terms of work for today and the week ahead? Have I REALLY lost weight and centimeters? Is everyone not lying to me? I still cannot find a denim that fits! The joys of being an A-shaped body type. What if all the coffee I have been consuming is actually making me fatter and is busy working against all the exercising? Oh my word, I have eaten A LOT of rusks the past few weeks!!!! I am going to be bloated like a piece of dough….
Do I spend enough time with my kids? Is my child studying enough for school? Are we not supposed to do something more to help him? My word, I suppose I have to wash my hair again, my scalp is itchy. I work out in my mind about washing hair (yes, really, it needs planning too it feels). I am exercising today and Wednesday so it does not help to wash it today or before Wednesday. My day is short today! What am I getting my husband for his birthday? I miss my mom. I wonder about my two sisters and if they have settled in, living happily ever after. I think it will be nice to move. Or will it? Urgh, who is going to do the sorting and throwing away of stuff? We have gathered junk over time that was just supposed to be thrown away to begin with!!
More and more thoughts are just going through my mind, occupying me while getting ready to tackle the day ahead. It frustrates me to do make up daily. Even if it is the bare minimum, it feels like it wastes time. But I do not like going without make up, feeling pale. I like dressing up, making myself look pretty with make up. It frustrates me even more spending so much time blow drying my hair. It also feels like a waste of time, but I look like a lion that stuck its finger into a plug if I do not make it look pretty.
I realise that there is a bit of a cloud hanging over me, something that does not happen that often in comparison with my younger years. I am not sure what the name of the cloud is, but I sense it. I proceed, doing my thing for the day. I get dressed for exercise, travel to Harties, elated to see that I have a training buddy in the Mom’s class. Something that I have not had for about 6 weeks. Or is it 8 weeks? The time flies so quickly I cannot keep count any more.
For 6 (or 8) weeks or how long ever it may be, I have been exercising alone. My fellow moms in the Moms’ class have all disappeared. Just like that, poof and in the blink of an eye, after the April holidays, it was just me. I wonder if the raptures have taken place when it comes to exercising? Am I the only one that did not make the cut for the exercise raptures? There was someone else once or twice during this time, but she decided to stop the class in the time slot that we exercise. She always has work meetings that do not keep to the scheduled time and then she misses class.
In these 6 to 8 weeks that I had been exercising alone, I wanted to give up many times. Stop exercising. I worked out in my mind that I spend 2 hours a week travelling to exercise. I am sure I can do more in that time at home, maybe even exercise for longer. Yeah right I answer myself in the process. It is no fun exercising alone. My kids are not there (their class is closed until August), all my fellow moms are gone, it is just me and the trainer. There is nothing wrong with her. I just do not know her. And she does not know me. The first exercise that she made me do, I thought Seriously, must I pick up weights this light? I can do heavier.
I then tell her that she is welcome to push me a bit harder to exercise more and use heavier weights – I will say something if I cannot do it. I understand that she has no idea where my fitness levels are and what I am capable of and hence the reason for starting with such light weights. As the time passes, I got used to exercising on my own, I even started to enjoy it. I never experienced personal training before in my life and it was actually very nice! A small little blessing from God’s hand, just so that I can say on my CV one day – received personal training (not that I put stuff like that on a CV but I am sure that you understand what I mean). I don’t even have a CV. Anyway MOVING ON!
It was as if she was customising the exercises for me and all my problem areas! She forced me to jog. The first few times I gave her a bit of lip, because I do not like jogging at all. But I do it anyway. I actually start enjoying it – still not CRAZY about it but I know it does something for the goal I am working towards. Sometimes I cannot put one foot in front of the other after one round’s exercise, but the jogging is nice some how in a weird and unique way. To clean your head some how and to just recover from the hard work during the WOD.
Monday, after the exercise session, I am measured. Again I am sweating in strange places, like I have been doing since I started my personal training (unwillingly). Marisa was so excited after taking my first measurement – around my waist. I lost 8 centimeters! I look at her and think she must be joking. She pinches and measures me in weird places whose names I cannot pronounce, writing it all down. I can feel how the cloud that was hanging around my head is lifting away – was I subconsciously nervous about the measurements and that I would deliver no results?
Today, Thursday 16 June 2022, I received my results. A total of 23,5 cm was lost (that is if I doubled the right results – because I have two legs and arms and only one of each was measured). Really? Can it be? I did not purposefully take on a weight loss challenge. I mean, I have been exercising with the purpose of losing weight, but in the 2 years I have been doing so, I have not really lost any weight or centimeters, in my opinion. I really thought I was going to be one of those people who is now exercising only to not put on more weight. I will stay Dik-a-licious as my husband often jokes with me, singing parts of the song by Snotkop, trying to lift my mood if I feel down about my weight.
With a grateful and thankful heart, I designed something to show the results better so that one can see where I have lost what. I am sharing it with this entry. I also went to count how many weeks it was since my last measurement. It was 7 and a half weeks ago that I measured and officially started training with Marisa. Just between us – I have never in my life done anything like this, measuring myself and then comparing results later. It is all a new concept to me. In this time I also did not exercise 2x per week every week, due to public holidays, a sore throat, swine flu, bronchitis and who knows what was standing between Marisa and I exercising.
I am convinced in my heart that, if I had eaten better and exercised 2x per week in that time, the results would have been even better. I am super excited about the journey that lies ahead. Eventually I feel like I am on the right road. I still drink my coffee, full cream milk coffee nogal and more than one per day. I cut back on the number of cups per day, as well as taking in starch during the week and empty calories in the form of chocolates, salty snacks, chips and so forth. I must now just work purposefully at my rusks intake. Good golly miss Molly, I just LOVE rusks with a lovely full cream milk coffee!
I don’t think I am THERE when it comes to food. I know I can do better. With God’s help and guidance, I can do even better. But, in my heart I feel that I must make small changes over a period of time, lifestyle changes you know? Rather than one massive change all at once. I just cannot cope with too much change at once. Every day’s little bit every single day.
Exercising twice per week for longer times does deliver good results! I cannot exercise five days in the week, as I really would like to do! As I close off here, I realise that God gave me one of my heart’s desires without me nagging Him for it day in and day out. A few years ago, I looked with puppy dog eyes, at a friend’s post on Facebook about her weight loss results, the photo of the big T-shirt vs the size she wore at that time (and still does), probably while I was munching away at another piece of rusk and not exercising at all.
I look at the title for this entry and laugh by myself. I recon I wrote about everything in between too. I realise again that God is in the detail, as usual. He knows what He plans for us. Plans of prosperity. Even if it is something as small and insignificant like becoming fitter, losing weight and becoming firmer. Something I always said that I will do ONE DAY. Well, my ONE DAY has arrived and it was also because I did something purposefully about it. I did not continue to moan and groan with a chocolate in one hand and a Coke in the other hand, all the time while not exercising.
The scripture for this month is from Proverbs. It is so interesting to me, yet I am not surprised that each month’s scripture verses on the desk pad calendar have been so applicable and appropriate in my life thus far.
Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. I have thought about this a lot and what it actually means. Thank goodness I have a bible application on my phone where I can compare different versions. At first I read this in the Afrikaans 1953 version. I decide to read it in the Amplified version too.
After reading it in this version, a better and brighter light goes on for me. To me it feels as if the interpretations in brackets after each part of the verse explains it a bit better. You see, it does not say that you have to sit and do nothing. You must not sit and wait for your proverbial ship to come in (only realising later that you have been waiting at the airport or train station rather than at the harbour). Nor does it imply that you have to wait for the “right” time.
Not at all! You must place your works, that which you do, at God’s feet and trust Him with it. Your plans and things that you do will work out when you submit to His will and when you listen to His guidance in your life.
During the month of May I wondered a lot about something (that which I felt that God was pressing on my heart to do) and whether I should or should not do it. 30 May 2022 I received a video from someone via Whatsapp. I did not watch it immediately, as it arrived during work hours and I am supposed to work during that time rather than watching Whatsapp videos. And just like that, the day passes and I completely forget to watch the video.
That evening, around 7 o’clock, I received exactly the same video from a friend who does not know the other person that sent me the video earlier that day. There was no way that my friend would have known that I received the exact same video that morning. But God knew it. You see, I prayed and asked for a sign for that which I felt that God placed on my heart to do.
I then received it in a total different manner than what I expected to receive it. Sometimes we are so narrow minded and want to receive, like Gideon, exact answers and signs, as WE want it and think it should be. The content of the video? An attorney that testifies how he flew on a small plane with a pilot that passed out when they flew into the clouds.
Long story short, he and the other passenger managed to get hold of a control tower and that person lead them through the clouds, warning them of a mountain they would have flown into had they not changed their direction. This was so profound to hear this. As this is exactly how I feel in my life.
It feels like I am flying in thick clouds, uncertain of where I am going with Beroepsvrou. I do know that I should listen to my instincts, as my instincts come from God. He is busy leading me. I stood in awe when I read the June scripture two days later, on my desk pad. I was in awe about God and how big He is. How could I have known last year, when I selected the scriptures randomly for each month, that the one for June would be perfect for what is happening in my life right now?
Some days the clouds feel thicker than others. I just know that I must listen to my Control Tower’s voice. He can see everything. I can hardly see three steps ahead of me. Even if what I must do makes no logical sense at that point in time, I just know, that if I do not do it, I will fly into a mountain.
I cannot see the Person in the Control Tower. But I can listen to His voice, following His exact instructions, irrespective of what is busy happening around me. Irrespective if it feels as if more clouds are moving in. It links up with this month’s scripture so beautifully. Making me realise again HOW BIG God is!
Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Trust Him. Listen to Him. Even if nothing makes sense. Even if life throws you curve balls that you did not expected. God is in tomorrow and next week and next year. He knows what is going to happen. Sometimes He lets things fall into place without you realising what is busy happening.
Things happen at times, which are so frustrating to me and which I do not always understand. But it is in these situations that I must trust God. Listening to His voice and following His instructions, how strange they may seem to me and those around me. As the clouds roll in, it sounds as if my frequency with the Control Tower is not that clear and becomes static, causing me not to hear clearly.
I tune in again by reading my Bible and seeking God’s hand in little things and daily bible verses. God is in the detail. I sit and blog, because it is as if my frequency is tuned in when I do this and I can hear clearer than before. As I close off this article, I just know, deep down inside my spirit, that the decision that I took after receiving the video, was the correct one.
The clouds are still coming in and the devil is trying to silence the Voice with distractions, but I know what I have to do. It is what it is, it is my destiny. The place where my life (and us as a family) is going. I pray for little turbulence and that we will not become nauseous as we proceed through everything, and that we will come out stronger on the other side (like we normally do when we go through things in our life). I ensure that my radio’s frequency is tuned in, before I take on the next part of the flight, the one that feels like it is in thick clouds.
Back to my training, which I am trying hard to catch up (by the way). During April, which is now my month 4 for the journaling side of the ethics training, I did not get to doing what I had worked so hard to keep up and do daily for about 5 to 10 minutes.
The journaling was few and far between. On 25 April 2022 (note the impossible time of the month that I make this decision – I often wonder if that is just part of my personality type according to Tall Trees – to choose the busiest times to do things?). Ok back to the date that I decided that I had to MAKE time to sit and just catch up again on the journaling. After doing the third day’s journaling (all in one day) I realised how much I missed this part of the course. The journaling and getting my thoughts written onto paper.
At this point in time, I feel like an epic fail when it comes to my continuous ethics training, because nothing about it seems continuous. It feels like I am always and forever catching up with things that fell behind! And now the same is happening AGAIN with this training…
I did not even have time to write this piece like I normally do when I feel the inspiration coming, because it has just been busy with work, kids, school and just coping with the colder weather…coping with the cold fronts seems to be taking my energy, because it is not that easy to get up early any more.
So I decided this time around to jot down some notes that came to mind, just so that I do not forget what I want to write about. I also meant to write this article three weeks ago and not now only (actually even earlier but anyway). Now, what I can see that is busy happening, not relating to ethics at all, but rather to my blog, is that I have notebooks ALL OVER THE SHOW! I try to use one dedicated notebook for the blog prompts that I want to keep track of.
But I have a few lying around that I make different notes in (different books for different things). Some sort of order but also not really. To any outside person it will seem like chaos, but I know what is going on there. For how long, I am not sure. It is like I have this overflow of words and thoughts that need to come out and be placed into order somehow.
Many days I wonder what it would be like if writing was my job? Would I find it as satisfying as I do now or would I feel meh about it like I sometimes feel towards my day job, especially during pressure times? Man, here I lost track yet again about what I wanted to say!!
So working through month 4’s journal prompts, I realised that this was a month to reflect on. Reflecting on thoughts, statements and just things. Some of the reflecting journal prompts were like tongue twisters to me! Like that of day 13. Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. Say this one 3 times fast….
I also realised that this journaling that is incorporated into the ethics training might not seem like everyone’s cup of tea. I know I frowned upon it when I started, thinking WHAT is THIS going to help me? But, later on, I realised that I was wrong and that these journal prompts (which only starts at month 2 if I am not mistaken) are actually just things to get your thoughts going…to start thinking about life differently.
Soooooo….hopefully I will be able to catch up on some journal prompts for months 5 to 7 all in one month AND catch up on the training videos and assessments so that I can finish in the month that I am supposed to finish and have the certificates as proof that I did do continuous ethics training throughout the year… (and not have all of the certificates issued on the same day).
I know I say this every month and I truly hope that I can find a gap between the deadlines and sign off dates of financials and audits to manage this. Not even talking about juggling the family and kids in between all of this…until I write again about the next month(s) experience…thus far it has been a very satisfying journey, even if it sometimes takes a lot of time to catch up when falling behind, frustrating me, but, that is life I suppose….?
Walking past a local shop the other day, I saw an advertisement in the window (people exercising and rather advertising the fitness watch not promoting the exercise taking place) saying “There are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them.” Catchy and true. However. I feel I can add to that – oneday is also not one of the seven days of the week.
This phrase made me think, forced me to whip out my phone as I entered the Clicks to just jot this down to remember that I want to write about this. That is the thing with me and writing – inspiring ideas come at random times and if I do not catch the essence at that very moment, then I miss the boat with writing an entry about that!
So something I say often is “Oneday”. My Sister-from-another-Mister aka Dora knows this saying all to well. I will walk around mumbling to her, “Oneday Dora, oneday….” and then I continue the conversation. She always laughs and responds by saying “Yes Elsie, oneday…” and then we part our ways to do our jobs.
Before I noticed this advertising slogan in the shop, I remembered of a cartoon I saw before. Something that I had been wanting to write about for a while now. This slogan just inspired me and got me to writing this piece. What a mission it was to find the cartoon, but I managed to find it on the internet and include it in this post. This to me is the best way to show procrastination and delaying what you know needs to be done.
In Afrikaans we have a saying Van uitstel kom afstel and that is so true. Why are we waiting before we start to be the best versions of ourselves? What are we waiting for? Why do you want to wait for your work to be less demanding before you just start exercising? Why do you wait until the children are bigger before taking on a new project or opportunity that comes your way?
Why do we wait? Sometimes I think it is the fear of the unknown. Or perhaps the known. For years I was praying to God to let me please, pretty please, LOVE exercise. Well, let me tell you, I stopped and started exercising so many times before, I lost count. This was for about 10 years, from late 20’s to mid to late 30’s that I had this thing that Oneday I will exercise.
Guess what happened? Oneday I woke up and I realised that I was almost 40. So when am I going to start? If I do not make Oneday or Someday a part of my plan to execute in my own life, well, then it will never happen. So to get back to the fear of the (un)known. I KNOW what it feels like to exercise the first time, after not doing anything for a long time.
That feeling SUCKS let me tell you. You feel like a train hit you while running the Comrades, all in one. I think that was what held me back with truly starting with the one thing I wanted to do for so long. The other thing for me, that I want to accomplish, is to eat better. Oh man, I just LOVE food. I sometimes feel like eating the whole fridge, just because I have cravings. Let us admit this – we ALL have cravings!
And then I start to complain I am fat, like in the comic strip. And then you decide you want to make a choice to eat better and to “diet” (which is something I could never do before in any event) and then when Monday arrives, the day that you HAVE to start eating healthier, you just don’t feel like it.
Because you KNOW what it is going to be like. For 21 days you are going to struggle, craving things, being put into temptation, etc. And then, one day, you just decide THIS IS IT and you start by making small little changes, not big changes. When you look back, you will see the progress you have made, but while you are in the process, taking it one day at a time, you sometimes feel like giving up hope, because you feel you cannot do it anymore.
What ever it is that you are struggling with (these are just two of my struggles, which I still struggle with to this day, but manage better now than when I was younger), all I can say is JUST DO IT. Just start. Do not procrastinate! You will procrastinate your life away and then one day you will wake up, 20, 30 or even 40 years from now, being much older than what you are now, regretting that you postponed for so long.
Don’t go through life wanting to start Next Monday or Someday or Oneday! Start today! What are we?? Fat!!!!!! Do something about that which is making you feel fat (figuratively speaking too, not only physical) and unworthy and change that. My motto is to be the best version of myself, everyday. I don’t get it right everyday, but I surely try!
With much gratitude, I tore off the Arpil (yes you are reading correctly with a spelling mistake) page and threw THE BIGGEST MISTAKE in the dustbin. What am I talking about? My desk pad calendar, part of the Pink Feathers range that I designed and sold towards end of 2021 and beginning of 2022.
The page for April looked terrible. Curled up on the one side with dirty marks all over and pretty much what it looks like at the end of each month. My notes block was full of comments this time.
Interesting, how for years I managed to work without one and now I almost cannot function without it. Anyway, back to May’s scripture and entry.
This is probably one of my most favourite scriptures. The one for May. Where God talks directly to each and every person. Not only a select few. Everyone. His children. He knows what plans He has for us.
This gives me child-like excitement to think of this, even if I have frustrations in my life and how things just turn out and work. I do know that the plans that God has for me are PROSPEROUS and not that of failure, exhaustion and any other negative thought and word you can think of. Even if, at times, it feels as if things are not going my way.
I have been thinking about this verse and what God actually meant with this. Prosperity on earth or prosperity for the rest of our lives, including after we passed away?
I think it is for both. While we are on earth only for the blink of an eye and then also the never ending life after death. You see, we may think that we are suffering on earth, because we do not have everything that we want and because things do not happen as they should.
But, I realise again, that, we must actually look forward to dying too. The time áfter our time on earth, cannot be anything but prosperous. We are going to Heaven. To be with Him. Now I am not saying that everyone must walk around with a Slipper Lip, muttering and mumbling about everything here and just waiting to die (like my great-grandmother used to answer me when I greeted her – this is a story for another day).
No! Live life to the fullest! Address that which needs to be addressed in the Spirit, and claim that which needs to be claimed. In the process you must show people what it is to be a true Christian. Helping them to look forward to prosperous plans from God. Sometimes we as Christians, go through life without much joy, that people who are not Christians, just give us one look and then decide by themselves “No thank you! If this is what a Christian looks like, then I do not want to be one!”
At first, I typed something totally different, off topic and then I decided to delete it and to rather focus on that what God has laid on my heart about the verse. Interesting how easy and quickly we can get distracted with that which God has showed you and then you start believing a lie rather than the truth…
I always say, God ALWAYS KNOWS BETTER. Read that again. Even if everything in your life feels distorted, not at all how YOU planned it to be. Rest assured. God knows better. We as humans are ALWAYS where we should be. The Holy Spirit also whispered to me, as I move around, thinking about this entry, that we as people, place our hope, happiness and plans on people rather than on Him. Shocking but true.
Our happiness, satisfaction with life and so many other things, are determined by people – so we think. Sometimes the people we think determines our happiness is ourselves, other times it is other people. But actually that is such a wrong outlook on life – that we will only be happy if this, that and the next thing happens….
Sometimes we stay in certain situations for longer, because we do not pass the test. We fall hook, line and sinker again for that which are our challenges. We must learn to listen, trusting Him and that He will provide us with everything we need and when we need it.
We do not always understand why things do not work out the way it should. But when I look back, I choose to see God’s hand in everything. Being grateful for my own personal growth in the process. And then to look forward and wait for His perfect timing. God is always terribly on time.
The whispering in my spirit continues….I know (with the emphasis being on I – this is God speaking by the way if you lost what I am trying to say here)…not Susan knows or any other name that you can think of. No, God speaks here in the first person is it? Because it is HE who knows. Like the verse from April, I do not think there are going to be chapters and chapters about this scripture.
No, this is as simple as that. Trust Him because He knows what plans He has for me and you. Plans of prosperity. Plans to give me and you a hopeful future. Hopeful. Keep on believing, dreaming and hoping I hear the Holy Spirit’s whispering in my spirit…
The other day I read a Bible plan on the application on my phone, something about being a worrier. That got me thinking. So much so that I COMPLETELY forgot to finish reading the article!
Back to being a worrier. I immediately got what they were implying. A worrier is someone that worries constantly, day in and day out. I then started this conversation with God in my head like I always do.
I don’t recall what was said from my side but just as I said Worrier I got a counter-offer so to speak from the Holy Spirit. I got the word Warrior. Now when you say both out loud they sound the same but they have such different meanings. Such words are Homophones are they not?
Of course it was me and Google again. The first attempt to find pictures for the two words failed and I was almost deflated that my blog entry will have a void. Luckily I tried again and managed to get what I was looking for.
Finding the correct images, was a challenge. But I managed to find what I perceive to be a correct reflection of the image and idea I had in my mind.Now this brings me to the next question. Which one are you? Worrier or warrior? You see, I don’t think God called us to be worriers. He called us to be warriors.
For those of you who do not know this yet – we, as humans, have been in a spiritual war ever since the beginning of time. Ephesians 6 tells us more about this and what we have to do to stay standing. The more I think about that scripture about the armour of God (typical of what a warrior would wear going to war and to fight a battle) the more it makes sense why Paul explained it like that.
The helmet of salvation – we have to protect our thoughts. What ever goes on in your mind will start becoming your actions and this will start changing your character…the devil is constantly trying to take over our thoughts because that is all he can do.
Breastplate of righteousness – this is my favourite piece of armour (if I can have a favourite). This is what I stand for and what God showed me the aprons that are sold on my online shop, also mean. Guarding your heart. Always being righteous, true, not false and deceitful.
Shield of faith – what else can keep away the lies that the devil tries to tell us daily? We must have faith that God WILL come through for us, that He is for us.Sword of the word of God (the Bible) – if we KNOW the truth that is contained in the Bible, we can destroy any lies and attacks thrown our way in this war. Remember – the character of the devil is that of a liar. He will bombard you with missiles called LIES. Hoping that they will reach your heart and thoughts causing you to explode into a million irreparable pieces.
Belt of the truth – oh man. This is HUGE. How many times do we tell half truths daily? Half truths are LIES! Do not tell the client that you have started with something when you have not even taken the file from the cabinet. Off topic – this makes me think of someone I worked for once, in a corporate environment. She once told me that I am too truthful. My word! Can anyone ever be too honest and truthful? Is that not what God expects from us? To tell the truth always?
Shoes of the willingness to spread the good news of Jesus – now this too I think is a favourite of mine! Actually the whole armour, but this one also stands out. What are you doing, when you walk around on this earth, to spread the word of God? Do your words AND deeds show that you are a child of God? Or do you say one thing and do another that causes doubt amongst people about your relationship with God?
Can people see that you are a child of God without you saying much? Are you telling them about what He has done for you? Are you giving your testimony of how He has changed your life for the better? Or are you doing a shady deal, under the table, cash, so that no one has to pay VAT? Or do you give your word that you will do something and then never do it? Do you go on luxurious holidays while you owe the whole world money? Or do you spend more time with other people and in the process neglect your own family?
With that being said, because I think that is a debate for another day… but… did you notice that you do not put on anything to protect your back? Have you thought about this and why? I have! It is because God has your back. He protects you from behind….So which one are you? A worrier or a warrior? What are you choosing today? Are you going to let the devil bombard you with lies while you are a worrier, sitting in a corner? Or are you going to be ready for the battle like a warrior?
For 11 days of April, I looked at my desk pad on a daily basis, rather often I must say, missing the spelling mistake. I used it, made notes, drew lines through the dates as the time went on and life was just beautiful and wonderful.
I wondered whether God kept my eyes closed until the day after my birthday, just so that I could enjoy the day before having to deal with this issue. On the 12th of April (the day after my birthday), my eyes see the spelling mistake. It reads Arpil 2022 and not April 2022 like it is supposed to. The world starts spinning around me, I feel how all colour and life is drained from my face, even my mouth starts to dry up.
I sit with my hands in my hair, thinking HOW DID I MISS THIS? Do you know how many times I read through it, reviewed it? I even got two more pairs of eyes to help me check it. And we all missed it!
The next moment it is as if Critique is waiting for me around every corner, like a shady ruthless journalist, trying to expose a scandal. The questions are endless. How could you miss such a big mistake? Are you sure you checked it? What about the people that PAID you for the desk pad? What are you going to tell everyone? Are there not more mistakes in the rest of the year? What about the items that you blessed people with? What are THEY going to think about this?
I try to answer the questions that are fired at me, like shots being fired in a serious war. I dodge, duck and dive so that I am not hurt in the process. I am close to tears, feeling like everything that came from God’s hand to mine is going up in flames.
Of course the devil came and tried to tell me more lies. Like that I did not hear God correctly and clearly about the Pink Feathers range. With that, I was also told that having a blog is actually very stupid. A snotty comment is left by him – Who is interested in reading about your life and experiences?
All the lies were marching around in my mind. At first I kept quiet and did not tell anyone anything. Silently I was praying that NO ONE ELSE saw the spelling mistake. Then I could not hold it in anymore. I had to share it with SOMEONE. Coincidently, a friend of mine (who is also a client) phoned me. We chatted about the work and then I blurted out my mistake. Just like that. Off topic and out of the blue (so typical of how I am).
She laughed and encouraged me in the way that only that red-headed friend of mine can do. A few days later I get the courage to show another person, I even asked my housekeeper if she can see the mistake, showed a cousin on my husband’s side and so it went on. It was hilarious to see everyone’s reactions, because they took it very seriously.
With narrowed eyes they started to read through the page, searching for the error. At first no one saw it. Then I encouraged them, look CLOSELY. It is not in the fine print. Then they see it. Some of them look at me with wide eyes, others laugh, others put their hands over their mouths in unbelief.
But everyone had the same reaction – ARPIL! Some time after I spotted the mistake, I got the courage to show my husband. He too did not see it immediately. Then he saw it, grinned and shook his head in unbelief.
At that point I was still on the route of self-punishment, trying to dodge the shady journalist. What are the people going to think of me? Are they going to tell everyone that my products are of poor quality and then I am going to sit with crates full of stock that I can do nothing with? Those are the thoughts that tried to set up camp in my mind. Somewhere, after sharing the mistake with my husband, I got an idea.
I tell my husband (or did he tell me? I don’t know the difference some days, because our thoughts and words are so intertwined and we just think the same) maybe I should make a competition of the error? Giving away a notebook as a prize? In the passing of each other, we had a conversation and I heard him say That is not a bad idea. I immediately start working on a design for my new campaign on Canva and decide to create two categories for winners – seeing as I told some people of the spelling mistake, not being able to include them in the competition.
Well, the rest is, as they say, history. People shared my post and liked it on Facebook and Instagram. A few other people tagged some people and so the process started. I purposefully stayed off social media, because the first day after starting the competition, I found myself checking what was going on every few minutes.
Then I got frustrated if people do not respond and reacted quick enough, irritation started to kick in when I saw that my post’s reach were not to my satisfaction. Then I feel the gentleness of the Holy Spirit, working on me on the inside, whispering to my spirit. Stop going on to social media the whole time. It steals your time. Focus on your work. I will sort out the rest.
My goodness, after I made this decision, it was a bit tough not to go onto social media, like I did every morning. I just visited my page to post more advertisements about the competition and then I went off again, not looking at reactions or comments at all.
It was such a feeling of freedom to be off social media, I cannot describe it. In my opion, I was not THAT active on Social Media. Or so I thought….I did not post something everyday, I just went to my blog’s page more often than my own page, because this is my method of advertising and spreading God’s word.
But then I started to look at my phone’s statistics about the time spent on what application and then I got a fright. BECAUSE….what I thought was only 5 or 10 minutes, was actually longer….I recon this is a discussion for another day…
Back to the spelling mistake…thankfully God saved me from another mistake. Earlier this year, when I designed new notebooks, I made a BIG OOPS on one of the English notebooks. On the front it read Noteboek and not Notebook. I placed the order with the printers one Friday to start preparing my order.
The Saturday morning, I woke up anxiously with something pressing hard on my heart. There is a spelling mistake on one of my notebooks! I sit up straight, early the morning, around half past five. I reach for my phone, checking the designs (which I had available electronically there too). True as Bob, there is a mistake on the one English notebook. This to me was AMAZING that God showed me exactly where the mistake was, it did not take me long to find it.
None the less, God saved me from a much bigger mistake and OOPS that day, because the outside of a notebook is not something that you use for a month and then tear off and throw away like the pages of a desk pad.
With a very grateful heart I want to close off. No one of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, even mistakes that one pays money for. That is ok. God, once again, took something bad and turned it into something good and beautiful! Congratulations to the winners of the notebooks! May God bless everything that is written in those notebooks, like only He can.
They say practice makes perfect. First of all – who is this “they” that have all these sayings? You know, when you have this conversation with people and somewhere in a sentence it is said “They say…” followed by some or another fact, that does not always make sense. These clever people that do not live on earth it seems to me.
So I want to contest this statement. We are humans and NOTHING we do will ever be perfect. So are we not lying when we say practice makes perfect?
I say, practise creates endurance, excellence and improvement. The reason why I say this is, looking back on where Beroepsvrou started one year ago (23 March 2022 marked the first year of my blog), I stand in absolute amazement at what God has done for me, how I have grown as a person and how the blog and everything that goes with it has evolved over such a short time.
Yes, you may go and read my very first entry….just to compare and see what I am going on about… When I look at the layout I realise I know more now than what I did then. My eyes are trained better to do better layouts, etc. It also started on Facebook directly and not this platform.
Wow, wow and again wow. All I can say is thank God that He guided me through this process and that I was open for improvement so to speak. When I look at the first few entries that were on Facebook first, I can only grin and thank God for the electronic trail that has been left for me to reflect on.
You see. Sometimes you have to just start somewhere. Do not wait until you have it all figured out and planned perfectly. Nothing will ever be perfect, especially when you start. Just go with the flow and roll with the punches. That is what I did here with Beroepsvrou. I let God guide me all the way.
Listening to my instincts, reacting impulsively to my ideas (sometimes with a bit of remorse after realising WHAT I had committed to) and then easing into it (not quite as simple as that, but you get what I am trying to say here) letting God shape me and form me…taking on what seemed impossible but that which turned out to be more than possible with His help of course.
The moral of this story? Just keep on keeping on. If it is what God wants you to do, He will make a way. He will fight the fight for you. And then you can sing like Dory from Finding Dory sang (yes I have watched it with the kids) Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming……
That is also why I chose the scripture that is on the notebooks. The scripture that God confirmed to me, more than once, when Doubt was trying to dig a whole as big as the one in Kimberley, in my mind. God is busy doing something new. He is making a path in an economical desert. He is letting rivers come forth when it feels like the Pandemic-sun is scorching away, letting businesses dry out like plants that cannot withstand the desert heat.
Just keep swimming…..swimming, swimming….I feel the words swimming through my mind just like Dory swam through the sea looking for her parents….
The joy always comes in the morning. Words that I tell myself often and I think purely it is because someone else said it to me when I was younger. Perhaps my mother? A few years ago I realised that this was from God’s word these words, out of scripture.
This month the scripture is Psalms 30:5 and the essence of that scripture is joy. You see, since 2020 it was as if my joy had been stolen by the enemy. Before then too, but since 2020, it was almost amplified if I can use that word here. More intense.
I know at some stage during 2020 I felt like I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!! and all that, while I was at home the whole time. Did anyone else also feel like that? I felt like I was in a jail of some sort. The sword of uncertainty hanging over our heads the whole time. Which way is this Pandemic going to go? Are we going to fall ill? Are my loved ones going to fall ill? Will I still be able to generate income in spite of the Pandemic?
What is the economy going to look like? The previous Pandemic was followed by the Great Depression. Are we also going to experience something like this in our lifetime? How do we handle this? The questions ran around in my mind, leaving a path of sadness and destruction. Almost like a footpath that has been walked on over and over, where the grass does not want to grow anymore.
Many mornings I struggled to find my joy in 2020 and even in 2021. Everything was just too much at times. It was as if the lack of joy was just there, day in and day out. Did others also feel like this? Or was I the only one? I have been through tough times during the Pandemic. I also know that I am not the only one that struggled during this time.
Something that I do love is, that, when I am at my lowest low, I feel the closest to God. It is as if I can hear His voice more clearly. I still remember one day, where I was sitting in tears, behind my computer, trying to tell and explain to my husband how I feel. I struggled to find the words to explain to him what I was feeling and experiencing inside of me.
The next moment, we hear a song playing on Spotify. It was as if God just placed the words there so that my husband can hear it. Obviously the tears were more as I listened to the song. It felt as if God was speaking to me directly, in an audible verbal form.
I cannot explain how, what or where. But, after that song, my joy came back. It was as if my spirit calmed down, because she knew God sees and hears EVERYTHING. He knows my heart, He knows what makes me happy and sad.
At this present day, I do not enjoy it that much to listen to that song. Probably because I am not at THAT low place anymore. But, when I struggle, feeling worn out, this is the song that I like to play over and over and listen to.
God is so good and wonderful to us as people. May we always remember, when we are on our lowest low, that God is there. It is so true what David wrote about – even when I go through the valley of death, there is God. I am sure I am not quoting the words correctly, but I am sure you understand what I am trying to say here.
I also feel in my spirit that April’s scripture will only have one entry. Purely because it is very simple. Just keep on looking for God in everything, even if you feel you are at your lowest of low level in your life. SEARCH for Him. He is everywhere and if you start searching you will surely find Him. This too is out of scriptures and I can confirm this from my own experience. I choose to listen to God’s voice and to search for Him.
I see the tears sitting on your cheeks. I know you’re tired, fall now to sleep. Stop fighting so hard, it’s time to surrender. Raise your white flag, and always remember. Your heart will feel lighter, everything will be brighter, find peace in knowing that all will be well in the morning….I hear the song’s words play and I think to myself, it is true. Everything will be better in the morning!
Saturday morning, I left the house with an enormous amount of guilt, to attend an in person Masterclass with Aletté Winckler. From Mom-guilt to Wife-guilt to Financial-guilt, you name it I felt it.
Mom-guilt is always there, so everything I do is weighed down by that, by the way. The other two not so much, but they were present on the day. Anyway, I was late leaving and driving to Johannesburg for the event and when I had JUST left the house I realised I never put my earrings in (or on? Which one is it?).
I decided that I CANNOT meet THE STYLE QUEEN herself and not have earrings on. So I sacrificed some travelling time to turn around and fetch the earrings. Anyway, I arrived 5 minutes before it all started, sighing a big sigh of relief.
Needless to say, it was measuring, looking at colours against the face, you name it we did it. I walked over to Aletté (typically of how I am) and introduced myself to her. She must get this all the time and in hindsight I just laugh at myself, but there is a bit more to this introduction and why she would know how I fit into her picture…
I left the house with an enormous amount of guilt.
Elsie Potgieter
I must say, I LOVE listening to her and in person it is even better than on Facebook videos! She did not only speak about color and style, she instilled some word from God and the Holy Spirit spoke directly to my heart when she spoke. Like, we must enjoy the season that we are in. They do not last forever, which is so true. She also said that, at some time or another, we all offend our children and this places a rock between us, which in the end builds a wall.
Realising that I made wrong with both my children, offending them at some time and on some level with something, purely because I was busy with work or something that required my attention at the time….this had placed many rocks between us…
She further said that when you apologise, you remove the rocks and the wall or barrier that the enemy is trying so hard to build up – because he is out to make everyone miserable and ruin relationships!Thank God that I have apologised to my kids when I did wrong, sometimes not enough I think. But I felt there is hope and we are on the right track I hope (and think).
We all offend our children at some stage. This places rocks between us, building a wall.
Aletté Winckler
She also spoke about forgiveness, something God has been talking to me about a lot lately. Sometimes I get it right and other times not so much. But she physically demonstrated that, when you hold something against someone, you are bound to that person for as long as you hold onto the thing you hold against them. What do you call the repetition of the same word in a sentence? Some fancy language label… My word, how is that for holding on to holding something to hold on to….anyway, moving on!
They go on with their lives and you cannot understand why you just cannot move on and live the life you are supposed to live. So true and something God has showed me, yet I keep on forgetting that at times…
Aletté further said that God loves us all uniquely not the same. This was a very interesting fact and something I had not thought about in that manner before….and that is how it is with our children is it not? We love each one as God created them to be. What I realised, is that I need to know and understand myself, my husband and my children even better than what I already do.
If we do not address everyone’s love languages, then the time spent in the house, the place where we are supposed to feel safe and loved, will become torture and awful which will leave scars.
Back to the image stuff. Apparently it takes 1,5 seconds to make an impression (a few years ago it was 7,5 seconds). Wow. Why did this change? I suppose because everything seems to be going faster and faster these days….so naturally things like that will also speed up.
It takes 1,5 seconds to impress someone.
Aletté Winckler
At some stage during the day, the enemy wanted me to feel like he always tries to make me feel. The odd one out. The one that is not pretty enough. The one that did not put her lipstick on (something I am not crazy about wearing but realised that it is a must if I want to leave an impression). I even felt intimidated by each and everyone there, especially the Image Queen herself, with her funky green jacket, white shoes, red lips and all.
As soon as those thoughts started, I then, almost, for a moment proceeded to believe the next lie – that I wore the wrong outfit. Let us face it. Going to something like this is intimidating, as you feel that you will be judged by others. I dressed for comfort more than style and that is purely because of the cold front that came in suddenly and early.
Not that there was something wrong with my outfit, the colour and everything was right I later learned. As all the lies started to march around in my mind, I even had a thought that I messed up the ONE CHANCE that I had to have a gorgeous photo of me and Aletté. She, of course, looked stunning and I looked, well, dull and everything that she is not.
The Holy Spirit immediately started to work with my thoughts, sifting and throwing out the negative seeds the enemy was trying to sow in my spirit. He told me, that, it is OK to have this photo that I perceive to be dull and not so great, about me. Because, the next time that I will meet Aletté, I will know my everything relating to style better and be even better presented. Was this not the purpose of today?
Around about this paragraph, I realised that this entry is going to be longer than the average entry. This is purely because I cannot break this up into chapters, we will loose the essence of what happened on 9 April 2022. I am also writing only in English, not Afrikaans too like I normally do. That is because of a few reasons, one is this piece is very long to translate, two – the class was presented in English due to English people being in the audience, and, three – there are more English people, I believe, who will be reading this entry.
Back to the day. Somewhere during the morning she gave some facts. Like, we as woman dress to impress other woman rather than our husbands. What a shocker, but as soon as she said it, I realised it is so true! My husband’s comment on this statistic is that us women, are always in competition with each other….something to think about too. She then also said that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. Jip, you read right! She did a calculation and what a shocker about the amount of money we have wasted on garments that are not worn often. Thank goodness I do not shop every season cupboards full of clothes, but, this statistic made me think….I have some sorting out to do in my cupboard….to throw out things I no longer wear…
Woman dress to impress other women, rather than their husbands.
Aletté Winckler
She talked about a lot of other things too. I am not going to write about everything for two reasons. Number 1 – my husband also reads this blog, and she said some things (many of them I had figured out over time) but want to keep it a surprise for our special time together. Number two – those who are reading this who have not attended the Masterclass yet, must do so, I do not want to spoil the fun.
Back to the girly stuff. I was very much surprised to learn that my bonestructure is medium rather than small like I thought my whole life. She continued to bombard us with information, which I tried to make notes of as we went along. Things that I did not know, yet did without knowing why.
The long and short of it all is – the human eye searches for balance the whole time. If you are off balance it looks wrong and you do not feel confident. She also said that, when working from home, you must dress like you are at the office. If you look the part you will act the part. Something which I also always did, because I have worked from home since I was 23 years old (right out of articles starting my own Accounting and Auditing Firm).
We were then divided into two groups – cool and warm. I suspected that I was cool (not the cool as in the OutSurance advertisement where the officer takes his own temperature at the end saying I am still cool). This (being cool) means something, which I cannot put into words because of a lack of sufficient knowledge. Let me say this – I now know what colors to wear, and thank goodness my instincts over time were right! I do not have to replace my entire cupboard – something I am sure my husband will be elated and ecstatic to know.
This is higher grade…
Aletté Winckler
Then they placed colour boards beneath our faces to determine the next thing Cool and clear or Cool and muted as well as another option which I cannot remember. At some stage Aletté was looking at the ladies, then she would say, “Show number one again, show me number three, no back to number two.” It felt like an eye test to me. You know, where you tell the optometrist you want to see lens number one again because…. mmmmm…. number two was very close to number one.
When it was my turn to watch this intriguing process being done on other ladies, I followed Aletté and her team like I don’t know WHAT. I wanted to UNDERSTAND what she was doing. Many times during the process she said it is Higher Grade stuff this. I commented to say it is more like doing a Masters Degree (I suppose that is why she calls it a Master Class is it not?). At one stage I thought my CA exams were easier to grasp and understand than this.
But anyway. Back to the process of determining the next level or step if I may call it that. I looked and looked. There were about two or three ladies where I thought I could see what they were going on about, but I was not sure. It was almost like those 3D pictures that were in the center-fold of the Huisgenoot magazine growing up. I just could not see it! And when you think your eye is trained to see something, it looses it again and then you just think it was your mind playing tricks on you.
Somewhere during the morning Aletté also said that your style that you like to dress in, says a lot about your personality. I did not know this and did not think about it in this way….I did not even know I had a style (with a name nogal)! But, after attending the Masterclass, I know a lot more and I also received access to the SA Image Application, I now have Aletté’s knowledge in the palm of my hand, specially designed for me…I now know my style, colors and a whole lot more…
Your style says a lot about your personality.
Aletté Winckler
On my way home, I thought about the whole day. I realised that we know so little about that which God wants us to know. It was as if the Holy Spirit prompted me to think a bit more about what had just happened and whatis busy happening in my life. So many things on so many levels. I feel overwhelmed, but I know this is HOW God works with me. I need to do things on different levels to get the desired outcome…to get ready and prepared for that which He showed me 14 years ago.
I am busy with Ethics training (as you may or may not know) where I am learning about my personality based on the Tall Trees analysis from Hettie Brittz. Somewhere within that process we are working on Emotional Intelligence. I do not know enough to comment on that yet. And now, two days before I have been 40 for a year, I learned about my physical appearance. I also reallised, that with the Tall Trees personalities I must figure out my family’s Tall Trees profiles AND love languages too…
It is as if God is working on me at three different levels at the same time. Body, spirit and soul. Wow is all I can say. It is crazy busy with a husband, two kids, two businesses AND all this going on. Somehow I realised that we HAVE TO MAKE TIME for these things. We cannot just work all the time. All the glory to God for sending all these things to me. Even at times when it seems impossible to fit something like that in too.
I always say – when is a good time to start? (something that Aletté also talked about). I cannot wait until my kids are finished with school. In the process I would have made more damage and left more scars because I did not know them like I should know them! Now is a good a time as any. I mean I normally start crazy things and make hectic changes in my life in February (my busiest time work wise), so then April is not that bad…
God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Words that I uttered today at my VERY FIRST (yes you are reading this correctly) opportunity as a motivational speaker at a local school – Highschool Bekker. I don’t know who I quoted today, but two other people have said that to me and I can confirm – IT IS SO TRUE!!!
Just as I was about to leave this afternoon, I felt something at the pit of my stomach. Doubt was trying to do his thing with me, but, I saw him from a mile away and kicked him to one side, not giving him a chance to get close enough to fill my mind with lies and other things.
Inside of me, I feel that I am not a Public Speaker. When I told someone that, they laughed and said Moses also thought that he was not a public speaker. I thought about that for a moment and nodded my head in acknowledgement because I agree with it. Moses had so many excuses about why he could not talk to the Pharaoh.
Back at today’s event. The “feeling” was there, but I just prayed and asked God to place the right words in my mouth, words that He wanted me to give through to the people listening today. Not once did I feel as if my tongue and mouth was all dried up, unable to speak. I did not forget what I wanted to say, even if I did not prepare a formal speech.
AND I did not shake like a leaf in fear of people, like I normally do. God equips the called. That is all that He wanted me to do. He wanted me to get into my car, drive there, speak to the people and He will do the rest. I pray that it was so, because, I cannot remember everything that I said.
Normally when that happens (the part where I cannot remember what was said), I know that it is God that takes over. The long and short of my speech? It is the same thing that I said over and over this past weekend and what the whole Beroepsvrou blog is about…How pink are YOUR feathers for God?
What do you put into yourself so that you reflect pink for Him so that you are a light bearer in this world? Do you filter those things that the world throws at you, casting out the bad? Just like flamingos filter their food, we should filter that which is going on around us.
I pray that God’s message came through, that everyone listened and heard, and that the Holy Spirit will come and water the seeds that were sown so that they will grow. Seeds that will glorify Him.
Mr. Rademan – thank you for the opportunity to talk to your staff today. I pray that I did leave a little bit of something to motivate them, so that they will also have Pink Feathers for God. Because if they have Pink Feathers for God, then the children will start to see it and their feathers will also start to turn pink. This way God will touch everyone to have Pink Feathers for Him and not be ashamed to call them His children.
Lastly I want to sing my praises to God and give Him ALL THE GLORY for today. He equipped me today. I am called and I am His. He will show me the way. He will make a road in the desert, let a river spring forth in the wilderness, just like the scripture reads that is on my notebooks. God confirmed this again to me at the beginning of 2022 – how many more signs do I want? How many sheep skins do I have to put out like Gideon did or see wonders like Moses?
Always remember, God is always with you and if you struggle with something, just pray and ask for help and He WILL come through for you. He will guide you and show you the way that you must go. He’s got your back – that is why you only put on a breastplate that covers the front – you must protect your heart (and of course you must put on the rest of the armor too). God will protect you from behind – always. He has never disappointed me and never will.
He is the same – yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know I am SOLD OUT to Jesus!! Are you? How pink are your feathers for God?
During February (my busiest time ever) I saw an advertisement on Facebook for an Easter Market that will be hosted locally (and literally around the corner of my house). I feel how God is working in my spirit telling me to do this and take this on.
Never in my life, have I done a market myself. I do remember as a child that my mother attended flea markets to sell her handmade wired trees with stones stuck on for leaves (that was high fashion at the time, let me tell you). My sister joined in later, when she was older, making clay objects that were sold.
After writing the previous paragraph, I wonder about two things – why they call it a flea market and why my mom (and sister) sold their handmade items at flea markets? I remember that I was always an eager beaver (almost like my daughter now with the Easter market) – always ready to help.
Well, back to MY first market that I felt God gave me instructions to take on. My goodness, this was a challenge. In my busiest time ever, one Sunday afternoon I designed more mouse pads and notebooks. Because, come on, you cannot do a market like that with one design of a notebook and one of a mouse pad! People need options and choices!
Diaries, tent calendars and desk pads are put to the side at this time, because, by the time it will be the market, it will be April and I am not going to design anything new for 2022 in that regard. Plus, if you missed out on 2022’s products, then you have to watch this space for 2023’s products, to be quick to make your purchase before they are sold out….
Oh my word, I am distracted again. None the less, new designs were done, I submitted the application for the market and take, once again, one MASSIVE leap of faith. Because, what else do you call this that is busy happening? It started with 10 aprons that I ordered, not knowing WHAT to do with it. And here I am, at my first market.
The people that pass my table probably think to themselves, this is a crazy lady. My first words to them are “I write, you can read if you want to.” and then I stick a business card in their hand, whether they want one or not. Then I start chatting about flamingo’s and what God has revealed to me thus far about it.
Some people buy something, others just nod their heads very politely, saying that they will go and read. Nowhere in any of the conversations I had, I introduced myself to them. One woman asked me my name and seemed very keen to read my blog. The free gift (from Sculpted Clay designs – specially designed for me in the shape of the heart of the leave that is in my logo) is a winner, and it seems almost if that is the item that convince some people to buy something.
To sit at the market, talking to people, is probably the easiest part of the whole process. The preparation, on the other hand (oh my goodness – when ever I use that phrase, I think of Naas Botha on Super Sport saying On the other hand Darren) was very interesting. I had this idea in my head of what I wanted to do on the table. I am convinced that the display is also directly from Heaven, because, for the first time ever, I could follow through on the idea that was in my mind AND call it pretty.
I had to sand down (is that the right word? Afrikaans is skuur) wooden boxes, also using paint stripper to remove the excess paint (first time for me but now I know how that works), purely because I did not want to spend MORE money for marketing and the props and who knows what. I borrowed a table cloth, took some things out of my house. Bought some other items and borrowed a last little something from someone. Deciding HOW MUCH stock to buy was another puzzle to resolve….
I thought, going through the stock, just after fetching it, and marking it will be easy. Think again!! It took hours and in the process I learned A LOT. Like – I want to save for a barcode printer of some sort. And have my own table cloths made, and buy a doll on which the apron is displayed. To name only a few.
I did my day job, you know, the one that puts food on the table, between everything and on Thursday, I put 11 hours in (yes – in one day) to finalise that work, before I granted myself the time to take photo’s of the new stock for the website and to finalise the preparation for the Market. What an interesting evening it was. Little sleep, watching a movie between marking and writing the labels, but I managed, by the grace of God and finished in time.
While I was at the market, watching all the people that entered the building, my eyes caught a phrase on one of the posters I made. Flamingo’s are filter feeders…. I stop for a moment to think. Filter feeders. Mmmm… this is interesting. Then it dropped in my spirit like a coin does in a piggybank.
The world and everything around you is full of things. Stuff. Some are good for you and others bad. The things that are the nicest, are not always the best for you. But we have to be like flamingos. We must FILTER what we take in, so that we can be sure to let our feathers change pink and stay that way for God. I googled the meaning of filter feeder. As opposed to predators who seek out specialized food items, filter feeding is simply opening up your mouth and taking in whatever happens to be there, while filtering out the undesirable parts. Wow. It is up to us to purify what we take in. To cast out the bad and undesirable items.
Wow. This is such an interesting journey that I am on. God reveals everything systematically to me as I go along, while taking the next step blindly to follow Him. Unconditional. Faith like a child. A mustard seed’s faith. Placing hope on that which cannot be seen. Planted and rooted in Him so that the winds of doubt will not let me be moved around like waves in the ocean. Everything out of scripture.
I’m sold out….nananana Jesus….I’m SOLD OUT TO YOU!!! These words are dancing around again in my mind. The song that God gave me as the theme song for everything (if I can call it that) – the whole Beroepsvrou thing. I listen to it often, yet I cannot remember the words exactly if the song is not playing. Long and short is – I am SOLD OUT to Jesus. I am like the song says – DIFFERENT than other people. Created for THIS purpose.
I ain’t like no one you’ve met before. I’m running for the front when they’re all running for the door. And I won’t sitdown, won’t back out, you can never shut me up, ’cause I’m on a mission and I won’t quit now. In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader, in a world full of doubters, I’ll be a believer. I’m stepping out without a hesitation. Because the battle’s already been won. I’m sold out, I’m no longer living just for myself. Running after Jesus with my whole heart. And now I’m ready to show I am sold out, I’m sold out!!!
I have to stop myself from typing the whole song here. But I am sure you understand what I am trying to say. This song just TALKS to my spirit. I cannot have anything less than Pink Feathers for God and to tell people about that. I pray that seed was sown through conversations and that the Holy Spirit will water it when the time is right for those people. Thank you God that You chose ME for this purpose and may I ALWAYS glorify God’s name.
Gedurende Februarie (my besigste tyd ooit) sien ek ‘n advertensie op Facebook vir ‘n Paasmark wat plaaslik (en letterlik om die draai van ons huis) aangebied word. Ek voel hoe die Here in my gees werk en my aansê om dit aan te pak.
Ek het nog nooit in my lewe ‘n mark self gedoen nie. Ek onthou wel as kind het my ma gereeld by vlooimarkte gaan sit en haar handgemaakte draadboompies met klippies opgeplak (dit was hoogmode kan ek net vir julle vertel) gaan verkoop. My sussie het later klei goedjies begin maak en ook verkoop.
Ek wonder oor twee goed na ek die vorige paragraaf geskryf het – hoekom noem hulle dit ‘n vlooimark en hoekom het my ma (en sussie) hul handgemaakte goed gaan verkoop by vlooimarkte? Ek onthou ek was altyd eager beaver (amper soos wat my dogtertjie nou is met die Paasmark) en gretig om te help.
Nou ja, terug by MY eerste mark wat ek voel die Here instruksie gegee het om aan te pak. Liewe aarde, was dit nou vir jou ‘n storie. In my besigste tyd ooit, gaan sit ek toe natuurlik een Sondagmiddag en ontwerp nog muismatte (ek like nogals die Afrikaanse woord – ek voel gesofistikeerd as ek hom gebruik) en notaboeke. Mense het opsies en keuses nodig.
Dagboeke, tentkalenders en deskpads staan vir eers opsy, want, teen die tyd dat dit die mark is, sal ons al in April wees en ek gaan nie nou vir 2022 enige iets nuuts in daardie opsig ontwerp nie. Plus, as jy nou uitgemis het op 2022 se produkte, moet jy maar die spasie dop hou vir 2023 se produkte en vinnig wees om dit op te raap voor dit uitverkoop is….
Ai, daar raak ek ALWEER distracted. Nie te min, nuwe ontwerpe word gedoen, ek skryf myself in vir die mark en vat weereens een MOEWIESE geloofstap. Want wat anders noem mens dit wat besig is om te gebeur? Dit het begin met 10 voorskote wat ek laat maak het en nie geweet het WAT ek met dit gaan doen nie. En hier is ek nou, by my eerste mark.
Die mense wat by my tafel verby loop dink seker by hulself, die vrou is mal. Want my eerste woorde aan hulle is “Ek skryf, jy kan gaan lees as jy wil.” en dan prop ek ‘n besigheidskaartjie in hul hand, of hul nou een wil hê of nie. Dan begin ek gesels en vertel hulle van die flaminke en wat die Here reeds aan my openbaar het oor dit.
Sommige mense koop iets, ander knik net ordentlik en sê dis reg, hul sal gaan lees. Nêrens in die gesprekke wat ek gehad het, het ek myself voorgestel nie. Een vrou het my gevra wat is my naam en gretig gelyk om te gaan lees. Die gratis geskenkie (van Sculpted Clay Designs – spesiaal ontwerp vir my in die vorm van die hartjie wat in my logo se blaartjie is) is ‘n wenner, en dit lyk amper of dit die oortuiging is vir sommige mense om iets te koop.
Om by die mark te sit en met mense te praat is die maklikste deel seker ooit van die hele proses. Die voorbereiding, aan die ander kant, was nogals ‘n interessante een gewees. Ek het hierdie idee in my kop gehad van wat ek wou doen op die tafel. Ek is oortuig dit kom ook direk uit die Hemel uit, want vir die eerste keer kon ek dit wat in my kop was uitvoer en deurvoer en dit mooi noem.
Ek moes houtboksies afskuur met paint stripper bloot omdat ek nie NOG geld wou uitlê vir bemarking en props en wie weet wat alles nie. Ek het ‘n tafeldoek geleen. Ander goed uit my huis uit geneem. (Haai dit rym maar ek is nie besig met ‘n gedig nie). Nog goed gaan koop, en ‘n laaste ietsie weer gaan leen by iemand. Om te moes besluit HOEVEEL voorraad om te koop was nog ‘n taai toffie en tameletjie om deur te werk….
Ek het gedink, om die voorraad na te gaan, na ek dit gaan afhaal het, en te merk gaan vinnig gaan. Think again!! Dit het ure geneem en in die proses het ek BAIE geleer. Soos dat ek geld wil spaar vir ‘n klein barcode drukkertjie van ‘n aard. En maar tog my eie tafeldoeke wil laat maak, en ‘n pop waarop die voorskoot hang gaan koop. Om net ‘n paar te noem.
Ek het my day job, jy weet, die een wat die kos op die tafel sit, gedoen tussen alles deur en Donderdag voor die mark begin het, het ek 11 ure ingesit (in een dag ja) om daardie werk afgehandel te kry, voor ek myself die tyd gegun het om my website foto’s te neem van die nuwe voorraad en klaar voor te berei vir die Mark. Wat ‘n interessante aand was dit nie gewees nie. Min slaap, fliek kyk tussen merk en skryf deur, maar tog het ek dit, met die genade van God, gedoen en klaar gemaak.
Terwyl ek so by die mark sit en na al die mense kyk wat inkom, vang my oog die plakkaat wat ek gemaak het. Ek lees in Engels Flamingo’s are filter feeders…. ek gaan stop ‘n oomblik om te dink. Filtervoerders. Mmmm….dis interessant. Toe val dit in my gees soos wanneer jy ‘n muntstuk in ‘n spaarbussie gooi.
Die wêreld en alles om jou is vol GOED. Stuff, dinge. Sommige is goed vir jou en sommige is sleg vir jou. Die goed wat die lekkerste is, is nie noodwendig die beste vir jou nie. Maar ons moet mos soos flaminke wees. Ons moet FILTER wat ons inneem, sodat ons kan seker wees ons vere pienk word en so bly vir die Here. Ek gaan lees weer in die H.A.T. op – die betekenis van filter. Dit lui as volg: Toestel wat deur deursyging suiwer; suiweringstoestel, filtreerder. Wow. Dis vir ons om dit wat ons inneem, te suiwer. Die slegte uit te werp soos wat ‘n filter doen.
Wow. Die is vir my so ‘n interessante journey wat ek op is. Die Here openbaar alles stelselmatig vir my soos wat ek aangaan en die volgende tree blindelings gee om Hom te volg. Onvoorwaardelik. Met geloof soos ‘n kind. ‘n Mosterdsaadjie se geloof. Hoop op die onsienlike. Geanker in Hom sodat die winde van ongeloof my nie sal laat ronddobber soos golwe nie. Alles skriftuurlik.
I’m sold out….nananana Jesus….I’m SOLD OUT TO YOU!!! Dans die woorde weer in my kop. Die liedjie wat die Here vir my gegee het as die temalied vir alles – die hele Beroepsvrou ding. Ek luister hom gereeld maar tog onthou ek nie die woorde as ek nie die liedjie self hoor nie. Lang en kort is – ek is UITVERKOOP aan Jesus. Ek is soos die liedjie sê – ANDERS as ander mense. Geskape vir HIERDIE doel.
I ain’t like no one you’ve met before. I’m running for the front when they’re all running for the door. And I won’t sitdown, won’t back out, you can never shut me up, ’cause I’m on a mission and I won’t quit now. In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader, in a world full of doubters, I’ll be a believer. I’m stepping out without a hesitation. Because the battle’s already been won. I’m sold out, I’m no longer living just for myself. Running after Jesus with my whole heart. And now I’m ready to show I am sold out, I’m sold out!!!
Ek moet omtrent myself keer om nie die hele liedjie hier te tik nie. Maar ek is seker jy verstaan wat ek probeer sê. Die liedjie PRAAT net met my gees. Ek kan nie anders as om Pienk Vere vir die Here te hê nie en vir mense te vertel van dit nie. Ek bid dat al die saad wat gesaai is deur gesprekke, water sal kry van die Heilige Gees af en sal groei en versprei wanneer die tyd reg is vir daardie mense. Dankie Here dat U MY gekies het vir die doel en mag ek ALTYD die Here se naam GROOT maak.
I first did this entry directly on Facebook, thinking it will only be a one liner that goes with this photo. It then turned out to be a chapter of some sort and I decided that I need to put this on my website for those who read my blog and who are not on Facebook.
I was looking for something on my phone when this photo popped up. I forgot I took it. Every time I think back to 2020 I feel like crying. It was probably the worst time ever for humanity. Driving around in what felt like a ghost town. Fearing the unknown and invisible virus. Wondering if you will catch it at the shops and bring it home to infect your loved ones.
Waiting in queues at shops to buy food, not being able to find everything you normally do. Being glared at by people when you buy both Corn Flakes AND All Bran, silently being labelled as a panic buyer, when in fact that is what your family consumes.
Every person on this earth was affected by the Pandemic. Everyone experienced trauma. Everyone needs to learn to cope with it and make peace with the fact that 2020 will be a part of your memories, whether you like it or not.
I do not ever want to have that time again. Lockdown was terrible. Having to homeschool and work (which I am still trying to catch up by the way – the work part). Trying to stay sane. Trying to catch my breath and just breathe. Trying myself, to work through massive trauma but trying to stay standing for my kids’ sake.
Not knowing what the future holds. The uncertainties. No wonder everyone suffers from anxiety or anything related to it. No one knows how to deal with it. How are we supposed to expect our kids to not have anxiety?
Before we judge anyone on anything now, two years later, just take a moment and think of their mental health and their trauma that they had to work through. Your trauma is not more traumatic than my trauma. Trauma is trauma and it affects us all.
I pray that God will take away these painful memories, the tears that often want to well up in my eyes as I feel the change of season and being reminded of 2 years ago, even if I did not willfully want to remember it. Thank God that I can call myself His child.
Because of the Pandemic my blog and new business came into existence (all unplanned but out of His hand). God used the bad and made it good and better. May we stop focusing on the MINORITY of bad and focus on the MAJORITY of good.
I pray that my children are not permanently scarred. I did not always act like a mother during that time. We all had our moments. I did not know how to deal with it. I expected my kids to just go on and do their school work like they are not affected by this thing.
I am sure my heart will still ache and tears will still come to my eyes this time of the year, for a few years to come. But one day I will get up and that will be a thing of the past.
Thank you God for protecting us, keeping us safe, for providing for us in spite of a very difficult economy. All the glory be to God always! Thank you that one day, soon and in the near future, the change of season will not affect my emotions like it is currently affected. Thank you that we will be able to function as “normal” as we possibly can, living with the unseen virus.
My word! I have been doing daily journaling entries like mad! Trying to catch up the lost time since September. Guess what? Life is busy happening while I try doing this, so my plan seems to be full of flaws…
Again I almost had a panic attack (this feels like it happens on a daily basis for the silliest things) about this training and HOW am I going to catch up on this??? I only have access for 12 months and my time is almost up….
Just as I was about to take out the brown paperbag to regulate my heavy and uneven breathing, I feel the Holy Spirit calm me down like only He can do. There is nothing that I can compare His calmness to….not Lavender, white noise or any other thing that has a calming, soothing effect.
My thoughts and anxiety and all the other emotions come to a screetching halt. You know, like when you were driving like a crazy person and saw the huge speed hump almost to late? Like that!
I felt Him drop into my spirit that I do not have to have all the journaling entries done at the same time, writing out a week’s journal prompts in 15 minutes. The purpose of this is, after all, to let you grow as a person. So no one is going to experience true growth if everything is rushed!! The journaling is a process that has to be done bit by bit and not necessarily in chunks like I am trying to do.
I sit back for a moment and think, true that! High five, fist pump and booty shake with the Holy Spirit for that revelation. But then I ask Him “So HOW am I supposed to catch up on the lost time?” His answer is simple. “Download the content that is currently available, work through the video’s and other material and do the online assessment.”
He continues: “That should do it. The journaling is a process and a journey you are on, you are not supposed to rush that.The online assessments are like all other training. You can do many shortly after another. You will be storing the knowledge for use later.“
I have not tried this yet and perhaps that should be my plan of action? To do it like that? I think it is time for watching videos and reading the material, while walking on the treadmill and then doing the assessments….
I thought it was a good idea to start writing the closing chapter. The days fly past and the weeks even faster, I do not want to be caught off guard and out of time, not writing the final chapter before end of March.
When I started writing this chapter, there were two weeks left in March. Now it is basically one week (ok less than one week). I still wonder on a daily basis, why the time goes by so quickly and if God is shortening our time because we are in the Oppression times that the bible talks about?
Back to the song. The devil is still trying to steal my song and he thinks he is going to get it right. But, it is actually hillarious to me when things start to feel upside down for me, the way that it is sometimes, because then I KNOW that I am on the right path and that this ís what God wants me to do.
My heart is still singing different songs for God, all that other artists have written, and it is as if I cannot sing His praises enough. After all, He gave me life and the breath that I breathe, so I cannot do anything less than to sing His praises, can I?
Every so often, it feels as if my heart and spirit wants to sing its own song to God. I truly hope that His ears are not sensitive to off-tune songs (oh my word is off-tune even a word? I am sure you understand what I am saying here, in Afrikaans we call it vals sing – not quite keeping to the tune). In my opinion, my physical person does not sing very beautifully at all (even if I was selected for the school choir and revue’s AND even landed up in a recording studio to record songs – I often wonder if the teacher that chose me just liked me or did she really see the potential in my singing abilities?).
Anyway, I laugh at the thought of how I sound in God’s ears when I sing and whether He will like it; whether it will be on the right tune or not, and whether any of these factors have an influence over His liking it or not? I don’t think I have to sing perfectly for Him to appreciate it?
We are all imperfect humans, are we not? If this was the case (perfect singing) then everything in our lives must be perfect before He will accept us, and that is surely a lie!! God takes us as we are, broken and full of mistakes. As long as we accept HIM and His son is declared as our Saviour in our lives, then we are on the right track. And of course we have to live like this daily and strive to be holy like Jesus (and stop sinning the same sins over and over).
My song will always praise God. Especially now in March (a very busy March for me) as I reflect on what happened the past year i.t.o. my blog. How I have grown, how God has just added and keeps on adding. I am so grateful that I was able to celebrate the first birthday on 23 March 2022. Grateful for the knowledge that He instilled in me and still does.
The wisdom that He gives me and people that He lets my path cross with, just to make everything even better for the purpose for which He has created this. What is your song? Do you have a song? It does not matter if you can sing or not and whether you can write or not. You must still SING for God! Does the devil try to steal your song? If that is the case, then you should be jumping for joy, because that means that you are on the right road!
I want to close off with a few songs that are on my heart, songs that I sing to God over and over. Songs that I search frequently on Spotify, while I am doing my day job AND preparing for the Easter Market that lies ahead…for those of you that is close enough, come and visit me at my table 1 to 4 April 2022 at Gerber Plaaskombuis in Skeerpoort. The first 7 purchasers each day will receive a free gift…
And just a last little thing to close off completely – I include my first two entries (in Afrikaans – sorry hope Google translate will work for you) of my blog as short cut links on this entry. Just so that we all can see where I was and where the blog is now – all the glory to God!
Monday 14 March 2022 marks the second day that I had the privilege to hand out aprons and tell students more about the Pink Feathers and what it symbolizes. That morning I was awake at 3 am. It was probably the excitement or nerves (or both) for what was lying ahead for the day.
I had an appointment at a local school, Bekker High School, to have a 15 minute chat with the Home Economics (I have no idea what they call this subject in English these days) students, all in grade 12. I saw each class individually, which probably helped ease me into public speaking….as I have not done this for a very long time.
I think the last time I had to talk in front of people was our wedding and before that I was in grade 12.I am not counting the appointment in January I had at another local school, HaMaKom Private School. I was so nervous there I could not remember WHAT I said that day but pretty much told the same story that I told at Bekker.
Anyway, back to my original story. The first speech went well, I seemed to have the attention of all the students, remembered everything I felt that God laid on my heart. As the day progressed, the order of the speech changed slightly but the core message stayed the same.
The Home Economics teacher, Marié Booyse, added to what I said by saying that the aprons provide you protection. Not only physical (food stains on your clothes) but also spiritual protection. That was so trueand another revelation to the meaning of the apron.
As the week progressed, I kept on thinking about what was said on Monday, it is as if God dropped it into my spirit that the protection is similar to the Breastplate of Righteousness that Paul writes about in Ephesians 6.
That was very striking to me, as that is what I stand for. Trying to be righteous and ethical always, even when no one is watching. I further had a discussion with my sister from another mister Dora (my domestic worker if you were wondering). She saw the things that I was preparing for the Easter Market that I will be attending as a Vendor (early April), selling my items and making myself available to chat and tell people about that which God has laid on my heart to say.
Ok, back to the discussion with Dora. On the printouts that will be on display at my table at the market, I had some fun facts from my son’s facts book that I retyped for this purpose. One of them was (and this is the question I asked the students on Monday) Did you know that Flamingos are pink due to what they eat?
She told me that this made her think even more about the whole Pink Feathers range and that the Holy Spirit is working with her the whole time about this. Thoughts I left with the students on Monday was – what are we doing to make ourselves reflect pink to the world? Dora and I, then further had a discussion about what we are filling ourselves up with, reading, listening and eating(also something that I told the students on Monday).
The conversation then turned to, what I like to call, empty calories. In my conversations at Bekker I referred to eating too much sugar that will make you crash the whole time. All my friends know that I like to refer to chips, biscuits and chocolates as empty calories. Things that are jam packed with calories (which make us fat by the way) but lacks nutritional value to feed our bodies and build them up to be what they should be, as God intended.
Again this revelation came that we must fill our spirits and minds with things that are not empty calories spiritually. What are you watching, reading and listening to? If you binge read, watch and listen to something that is empty then you will remain empty and will not produce Pink Feathers and reflect pink for God to the world.The same is true for eating by the way, but that we all know…
After my discussions and handouts to the students, it was photo time. The kids seemed very chuffed with their gifts and I truly hope that everytime they wear those aprons, not only in grade 12, but also after they finish school, that they will remember what it stands for and symbolizes.
All the glory be to God always! He inspired the aprons, He gave me the vision and the people to produce an electronic logo and the apron. Without Him none of this would have been possible. I just know deep down in my heart, there is so much more to these aprons than just an apron….like we have already discovered and may still discover.
Just as I was closing off this blog entry, I read the scripture verse that forms part of my logo again. Proverbs 10:21. The lips of the righteous feed many: But fools die for want of wisdom. (KJV). Wow is all I can say….this ties in to the latest revelation of the aprons, what you are feeding your body, soul and spirit with and what Beroepsvrou stands for. All the glory be to God always!
Sometimes I wonder about Mary. How did she feel after she heard that she was expecting the Messiah? You see, the Bible does not tell us about her emotions. Not everything. We do know that she sung a song and was excited about that which God called her for.
But…was she shocked before the song? Did she feel rejected by people? What did they say about her and what did they think about her? Did they discuss her like we, as people, like to do quite so often? Did she also lie awake at night? Sleeping for only 3 hours and then being awake the rest of the time while everyone around her is snoring away?
I don’t think it was easy for her. Similar to situations we find ourselves in at times. You see, perhaps you have a song in your heart about what God has planned for you and spoke to you over your life. But in other aspects of your life there is not necessarily a song in your heart.
I think sometimes God wants us to be impulsive for Him. To do things without overthinking it, something I do often. Just trust Him. Even if life presses hard on other levels, when I feel like I cannot breathe and cannot sleep at night. Even when the devil every so often tries to steal my song….I must stay impulsive for Him.
The song that God has laid on my heart for a while now, is Rooftops by Kim Walker-Smith. I feel I want to stand on the rooftops and just shout out His name and proclaim it over my life. Irrespective of the work requirements and work pressure. Irrespective of the fact that the devil tries to kill my song with things that happen from everyday life.
I shout out Your Name, from the rooftops I proclaim, I am Yours! I hear the words echo through my thoughts. I sing it even louder to mute the lies the devil is trying to tell me in my mind. I did not write my own personal song like Mary, but this one is close enough to something for ME. What is YOUR song that God placed on your heart? Do you sing it or do you allow the difficulties of life (let us be honest here – nothing these days are easy any more) to suppress your song and smother it?
What do you choose today? I choose to still sing and believe that God trusted Beroepsvrou and everything that goes with it, to me. This is what HE planned for my life. He did not plan for me to lie awake night after night, worrying about how I am going to get everything done work wise. Or that I lie and worry about our outstanding debtors and outstanding debts.
Surely there will always be someone that owes you money and you will surely owe someone money. You will probably never have enough money for everything. Or enough time for everything. The work that I do, will surely not become easier and the deadlines will certainly (not maybe or perhaps) remain. Will one ever have enough patience with your children? Will you ever not have days that you will feel despaired about HOW you are going to help your child through Grade 7?
At the end of the day, God IS and STAYS in CONTROL of EVERYTHING. We do not have control over anything else except our own actions and outlook on life. Why not do this with a song on your lips and in your heart? From the rooftops I proclaim, I am YOURS!!!!! I sing, amplified and on the loudest volume in my thoughts, just to be sure that the devil HEARS me.
Just yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for the day ahead in our bathroom, I noticed the bath in our bathroom. I see the stickeez on the side of the bath, used to pull out the plug (purely because we have not had time to fix the mechanism that has broken). Then my eyes wander further and I see a lost sponge number (nogal number 7), that the kids always play with when they bath, pushed into the shelf above the bath.
But it is as if the stickeez and the sponge number have teamed up against me, mocking me. They are mocking me by accentuating the empty bath, the bath that, every now and then, has a few bugs in and a layer of dust due to little or no use. Then it is as if they stab my heart with a knife, twisting it. The pain shoots through my whole body when I realise – the children are now almost grown up.
Gone are the days sitting next to the bath, playing, teaching numbers, alphabet letters and colors. Gone are the moments that, at times felt too long and torturous (God knows my heart and EVERY mother feels like this at times, that I am confident of!). These moments felt that way, especially when I got very little sleep due to breastfeeding through the night, or long hours of work (or both). It was not the children’s fault that I felt like that, yet some days, the moments that I had to treasure, (especially when I was very tired and slept badly) where too much for me to handle.
Earlier this week I had a conversation with a friend. She tells me that someone told her that they only have 7 Christmases (this spelling looks wrong but I am leaving it here because I have no idea how else to spell it) left with her eldest living with them in the house, then that time is over. I look at her in total disbelief, as if she is lying to me. I then start to think, doing some calculations myself. I have less than that left with my eldest child!! When I have months, weeks and weekends like we have had since January right up to now in March, when I slave away behind my computer (what feels like days without end) just to get things submitted on time and to get through the work load, then deep inside of me, there is this rebellion that builds up against my work. (My goodness WHAT a LONG sentence, but I do not think I can break it up more?).
I feel more than angry, because I feel that my work steals from me and my children. To top it all off, sometimes the working, days without end, week in and week out, working on weekends, is not even rewarded with a payment. Many clients (not only one) just shine like a bright little star not paying our accounts, even though they receive the statement, which is sent very patiently and politely month after month. Unfortunately Pastel does not have that little man that is on his knees, crying with the words Please pay, overdue that you can insert on the statement. Not like the old days, where an admin tannie (aunty if you are wondering) prints out the statements, stamping them with Mr. Please Pay Overdue, folding it neatly and then posting it. No, now it is just very convenient and easy to leave e-mails as unread.
But there I am losing my plot again about what I actually want to say. You see, this rebellion actually starts to create bitterness and bitterness makes you ill and tired. It wastes so much precious energy. So back to the empty bath. I think about it the whole day while driving to Johannesburg to see a client, and back again. I wonder by myself just WHY God made me aware of the bath?
Then I start to think, when last DID the kids bath in our bath? Somewhere between last year and this year, they started showering in their own bathroom. In the beginning it was nice to have my bathroom back to myself (and my husband of course). No toys lying all over the show. But suddenly I realise that it is over for ever, the toys lying all over the show. That which was the biggest irritation to me at times (not always) is now gone and that implies that the kids are growing up and are moving into a new phase.
I also think back to a conversation I had with another friend (also earlier this week, and YES I talk alot!). She tells me that her eldest is at University. Again I stare at her in total disbelief (and again as if she too, is lying to me). She is only 42, how can she have a child at University? Then I realise she is right. He is 18 already! She tells me that I must enjoy the time I still have to sleep and lie next to the kids at night. I must tolerate it, bear it. When you see again, it is over.
With tears in my eyes I realise that at least I only have an empty bath. She has 3 things that are empty – a bath, a bed and a room. I feel the Holy Spirit working on my heart, gently removing the knife that was turned and twisted. The reality of the empty bath does not hurt less. But He reminds me that I still have 2 of the 3 items in my house. “Treasure it” I feel the whispering in my spirit. “Have more patience and just trust me with the work and everything that bothers you so much” He continues to tell me.
“Leave everything at the feet of Jesus” words that I keep on repeating to myself and which I also hear other people say to me and I, myself, even utter to people that are feeling discouraged. “It is HARD God!” I almost want to shout back to Him. “Everyone expects something from me, every moment of every day. I am just ONE person. By the time that the kids arrive home in the afternoons, I am finished.” (In Afrikaans we say ‘op soos ou brood’ but a direct translation of this just does not sound right). “Where do you scratch out some patience? I don’t even have crumbs to spare? Plus my kids deserve more than just crumbs.” I continue reasoning with God. As if He knows NOTHING that is going on in my life.
I remain silent for a moment and see the bath again. The bath that is empty. Then I see the rooms that are full and the beds that we share every evening with our kids. I know it is ok to do it in this manner. Even if it is frowned upon by other people, I know it is ok for us. This is the little bit that we can give back to our kids for all the nights, weekends, holidays, days, weeks, months that we had to work, missing out on time with them, not being able to assist with studying and tasks that have to be done, the list is LOOONG. For all the ungrateful work that we have ever done for people. For all the unpaid statements, without Mr. Please Pay Overdue on.
I feel a calmness coming over me and I know, God knows my heart. I am doing the best that I can with that which I have available to me. My best will probably never be good enough in my own eyes, because I have this expectation, an expectation about how life should be. Not how life really is. I truly hope that my best is good enough for my kids.
I then also leave my unpaid accounts, without Mr. Please Pay Overdue on at the feet of Jesus, with my work and the pressure that comes with it, together with, what feels like 10 million other things. I hear an echo through my mind – I need only to be still, for the Lord will fight the fight for me. God is fighting, even if it does not feel like that. Exodus 14:14 (KJV) The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. I place the last little piece of something at Jesus’ feet – the empty bath. Then I turn around in search of crumbs, scraping them together so that my kids can experience more than just crumbs from this afternoon and every other afternoon and evening from now on.
Just like that, February 2022 came and went. We survived another big deadline. At times it really felt as if the ball and chain that I was wearing at the Accountant’s Inn, was heavier than what it was supposed to be. Some days were harder than others. I paced myself to work, at what felt like a snails pace, during February, just to get through everything. I did not work long hours on one day, but rather more days in the week.
Then, suddenly, on 28 February 2022, it was as if I could feel how the key was being turned in the lock so that I will be released earlier than planned. By 12 noon, I clicked on the submit button on my last IRP 6return. I sit back and think – HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? This has NEVER happened before? In previous years, we sit and work so hard, the only sound you can hear are our fingers typing away at our key boards and mouse clicks flying like they are going out of fashion (I wonder how many clicks we do on a mouse in a day??), echoing in our ears, as we struggle to get everything submitted in time.
Other years, I usually submitted the last returns around 9 or 10 at night, sometimes even just before midnight. I still recall my daughter (now 8) at a younger age, bringing a pillow and blanket to sleep on the floor in the office while I was working to get everything submitted on time. Suddenly the load is just lighter.
Everyone gets into bed at a reasonable time. It almost feels wrong, as if we forgot someone or something. We review the control list again – no, we did not forget anyone, all have been submitted. I realise again, as if it is a new revelation, that we made the deadline because we have a set of hands that WORKS and KNOWS what she is doing. Someone we can trust to do the work and to do accurate calculations. Bringing her side, pulling her weight, irrespective of her circumstances.
Come 1 March 2022, I woke up and I almost want to say with a song in my heart. The song is not quite there for my work (although I thoroughly realise that if I do not work, this blog will not exist, amongst other things, other than the obvious provision for our basic needs), but the song is there in my heart, for what God has planned for me and what He is revealing bit by bit.
You see, God is revealing more and more to me while I start to advertise the Beroepsvrou platform more and doing new designs, everything between the day job. On that particular day (March 1st) I saw a client. I was not stationed at my desk and that is just what happened that day. I was recovering from working almost 9 days in a row (even if it was not 7 or 10 hours every day), just finding my feet in the next task that had been staring at me, waiting (im)patiently for me to finish it off.
I wondered the whole day WHAT the scripture for March was, I truly could not remember it. Eventually I got to tear off the dirty page for February. It was as if it reflected HOW hard I worked by being extra dirty. Water marks, ink that smudged, you name it, that was what my February calendar looked like. Eventually I sat down to read the verse. I think it was only on the second of March.
I read it and for a fleeting moment it did not make sense. I wondered by myself WHY I chose THAT verse? It does not make sense, the sentence starts blunt and in the middle of something. I decide to view it on the bible app on my phone. I read it and still it does not make sense. I decide to start reading from a few verses before this one.
Finally I understand! I grasped it!! I could not fit EVERYTHING on the calendar, plus this particular verse was on a key ring that I purchased some time ago. It was said in such a beautiful way on the keyring and hence the reason for choosing this scripture. If you are perhaps wondering why I cannot recall the scripture that was chosen – the last time I worked on these designs were in October / November 2021.
Six years’ time has passed (that is how it feels to me in the mere 6 months that actually passed). My brain cannot remember every single little bit of detail. Ok so back to the verse. I start reading from verse 45. My eye catches the heading just beneath verse 45 – The Magnificat. At first I looked at this thinking WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? (Remember I read this in Afrikaans first and there it is clear what this is).
Anyway, I compare the scripture to other versions in my application on my phone and the New Living Translation has extra words, Mary’s Song of Praise, next to it. (I also Googled the word Magnificat and there it refers to the hymn of the Virgin Mary.) Wow, that is very interesting. I feel as if I have a song in my heart and here is the scripture that refers to a song that was sung by Jesus’ Mother. WOW that is coincidence – or is it? I know with God NOTHING is ever a coincidence.
Luke 1 : 45 – 49 And blessed [spiritually fortunate and favored by God] is she who believed and confidently trusted that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her [by the angel sent] from the Lord.” And Mary said, “My soul magnifies and exalts the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has looked [with loving care] on the humble state of His maidservant; For behold, from now on all generations will count me blessed and happy and favored by God! For He who is mighty has done great things for me; And holy is His name [to be worshiped in His purity, majesty, and glory]. Amplified translation.
There is so much more to this scripture than what I can even begin to think or realise… I almost feel like I have to break up this scripture and analyze it a bit further. There is so much power captured in this. So many promises for me and for each one who believes and stands on that which God has called them for and that which He has disclosed to them of their calling.
Alóhahere from the Accountants Inn. Wait, Alóha sounds too exotic, almost as if I am watching over the ocean (exotic like white sand and turquoise water) while I am doing all these calculations, the speed dating of tax as I like to refer to provisional tax. Maybe I should rather say Modimôle, Modimôle like the advertisement of Lekkeslaap? It sounds almost more realistic of where I find myself….and not that I think that Modimôle is a jail or less exotic place….I am sure you understand what I am trying to say.
All jokes aside. This will be my closing chapter on this scripture. February is short, the pressure is high and the work load is astronomical, and I am more than likely not going to be able to find time to publish another something about this scripture after this entry.
So….I want to close off by saying that when I look back on February, I can conclude that I had one very interesting month, especially while thinking about the verse. You see, my sweet words were also under attack. Not only that which were snarled at me, but those which I uttered. Emotions were running high, stress levels were through the roof, life goes on and I just have to cope with everything.
It certainly was not easy, nor was it all glamorous and pretty. But I certainly learnt a lot and grew in the process. I know I must think before I speak, especially if I am frustrated with something and then I have a conversation with someone close to me about something else. I must not let my frustrations spill and tumble over into those conversations.
It is certainly easier said that done and I contemplate and doubt whether my words contain serotonin, similar to honey. But God showed me what I did wrong so that I could repent and ask for forgiveness, and learn from my mistakes. Is this not part of the process of becoming holy like Jesus?
I want to close off by saying that we are going to have to answer to God one day about the words that we utter. BUT He has LOTS of grace for us, He forgives us and then it is as if it never happened. What we must remember is to stop sinning and truly turn our backs on that. We must stop with our bad habits and poorly chosen words.
It takes 21 days to break a habit, if I started 1 February with that, then, theoretically I should have overcome it by Monday 21 February or Tuesday 22 February….but, we do not consciously make such decisions regarding bad habits on a daily basis, this is also not something that happens to me every 5 minutes or every hour. To me it is not similar to having bad eating habits that I want to turn around. No, for me it is very sporadic and random at times but I suppose that can also be seen as habitual, because I always act the same way in similar situations.
I must learn from my mistakes and pass the test. Because surely I am going to keep on writing the test until I pass it. Even if it takes more than 21 days….so long and farewell until next month when I write about the March scripture! Alóha from the Accountants Inn. (Is Alóha not hello and goodbye in Hawaii?)
Note the pun in the heading. Anyway, back to my experience of this thing called training and ethics….so at first I rolled my eyes (I have said this before) at having to do training about being ethical. To me it comes naturally and that is my expectation that I have of others.
Clearly everyone does not function like I do (what a shocker to my system but a reality and truth). But as I work through everything, I realise that there is something deeper here. Of course no one can be taught to be ethical! But you can start to think about your thoughts and how it influences your life and actions.
I was freaking out somewhere between September 2021 and February 2022 about this ethics training. Everytime I get a notification about new content (at the beginning of the month) I almost start to hyperventilate. Because seriously, WHERE am I supposed to find the time to DO that which is expected of me. I only did month 1 by end December and now I have to catch up 11 months in something like 8 months or less (I don’t know, I did not calculate this and quite frankly my brain is too exhausted to calculate how many months are left of my 12 months ethics).
Then, amongst all the chaos I was experiencing, God calmed my thoughts. It is ok to fall behind. It happens. Again I was freaking out because now I am only in month 2’s journalling that has to take place daily and HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS??? I was almost screaming in my mind to God (with respect). Throwing a tantrum.
It took me the whole of January to figure a lot of things out, including this training that I have to fit into a very busy schedule. Then somewhere between screaming and freaking out, the light came on. What this process is trying to teach you is to not start your journal entries with Dear diary. Nope. What they are trying to get us to do is to declutter your mind of stuff and thoughts that occupy you and steal your joy and focus.
Once you start writing them down and getting them out of your mind, you can become more focussed on the day ahead. Easier said than done BUT this is the bottom line I think. We have so much clutter on so many levels in our lives, it is SCARY! It becomes intimidating and when you see again you are overwhelmed, underpeforming and anxious all at the same time.
I made a conscious decision during the first week of Feb, to just START with this training and just do it. And I did. And that makes me feel more accomplished because I am making baby steps in progress….and guess what??? You don’t HAVE to do every day’s journalling for month 2 before you can proceed to month 3.
No, you can journal daily, watch month 2’s videos (and read the material by the way), do the assessment and move on to month 3. That is what I am going to do. I can answer more than one daily journalling thought if I want to, there are no rules, so it is manageable to actually catch up.
What I am also going to do, is combine what ever is added on in month 3 with month 2’s journalling and just expand. I have no idea what month 3 has installed for me but I am ready for it. Thank goodness I have a higher power (called God if you were wondering) watching over me.What I also started doing, is to answer 2 to 3 journalling questions on one day. That way I will also make progress and catch up!! My plan for this is like every plan in life – under development and subject to change.
God inspires me, calms me, gives me my plans to overcome my fears and problems I face daily so that I can so something as simple as this ethics training. It is really not that hard and it will really benefit me in the long run. You see, what you, the reader of this article, don’t see is, in the background there are all these anxiety thoughts I have daily about stuff, life, kids, work.
This affects my ability to work and be productive. So to the outside world I look like something, I don’t know what to compare myself with, but I appear to be something I am not, to others. I put on a brave face daily, smile and waive, fake it till you make it type of attitude, which is what others perceive to be this thing which I am not.
However, between writing this blog, doing my bible study while blogging and journaling my thoughts like I am being thaught in this course, I am actually becoming something and someone better than what I was before. This all helps me to declutter my mind and not be as panicked as I used to be.
I still don’t get it right on a daily basis, but some days are better than others. This all is a learning and developing process to me. And of course God showed me what I could use one of my Beroepsvrou diaries for! For this ethics journalling and daily bible verses!
One thing I have noted, is, after I started writing this article at the beginning of February, an amount of time has lapsed. Two weeks (or is it three?) have passed and I am trying my utmost best to do this ethics journaling daily on a weekday (weekends are different because then our routine is slightly different). Anyway, back to what I am trying to say. When you answer the journaling questions (that just gets your mind going) about how you can improve, for example on finishing tasks, it is like the devil and all the spawn of the devil, attacks you on what you wrote down.
To me this is very interesting, yet nothing new. You see, when ever this happens to me, I grin and I take note of this, because when I feel under attack, I know I am on the right track! The devil also knows my potential and he will try everything to stop me from doing what needs to be done.
Don’t be discouraged if you have had a two to three week period like I have after starting this ethics journaling. It only means you are doing something right and you must persevere and push through! And as if God just wants to confirm what I am saying here, I get a bible verse shortly after finishing up this article – 2 Thessalonians 3:3. What a powerful and profound scripture to get when feeling like you are under attack!
So, if you are still wondering if it will be worth it to do this course, or where you will find the time – stop overthinking it. Stop procrastinating like I did for months. Just start doing and before you know it, you will be so much more knowledgeable than what you were before you started this whole thing.
One thing I have noted from this training is you HAVE TO READ everything!! Before you attempt the questions and assessment, make sure you READ the content…after all, it will only strengthen your knowledge and self-worth.
I can conclude that I can do all things with Christ! Phillipians 4:13. I can even do this training thing, work AND be a mom! And nogal in February, our busiest month! Because really, WHEN is it a good time to start? It is now or never!
I have been thinking about this month’s scripture as the month is progressing and life is getting more and more hectic work wise. It makes me wonder as to why Solomon referred to honey in this scripture and why it is referred to as being able to heal.
Naturally I grab my phone to google the medicinal value of honey. The facts that Mrs. Google showed me was pretty interesting…
It enhances immunity. So it physically helps to keep your body healthy. Very interesting. I read a little further – it enhances serotonin. Now those of you who do not know – serotonin is the feel good hormone that makes you feel happy (amongst other things) and it also regulates a whole lot of other things.
It is further my understanding that it contains anti-oxidants, reduces stress and anxiety, is anti-bacterial and a whole list of other things. It was really interesting to read all these facts about honey. Surely Solomon did not google the medicinal facts about honey when he wrote this piece of scripture.
No, he was the wisest person ever who lived on earth and it was the Godly wisdom that God blessed him with that is portrayed in this scripture. Wow, what an awesome revelation about this scripture!
Sweet words have the same healing effects as honey….if this is then true, then surely the opposite must be true too? Destructive words that criticizes, are like an illness that eats away at you and will eventually kill and destroy you if you keep on listening to (and uttering) such words. Makes you think does it not….?
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