This entry is on a lighter note about something that I miss read. Towards the end of 2022, we were driving through Krugersdorp with me as a passenger in the car.
As we were driving, I was staring out the window. I noticed some election posters on lamp posts. I noticed a poster, in Afrikaans, that read Stem Amy Stem (translated it would be Vote Amy Vote but you will see later why a translation here will not have the same effect).
I think to myself that this is a strange use of words to promote that party’s representatives and to get people to vote. It is almost as if they are making up a chant to prompt Amy to cast her vote. I cannot help but think of the Afrikaans song, Swem Jannie Swem! while reading the voting poster.
I then turn my attention back to Google maps on my phone, following the instructions to our destination. Not too long after this, I look up and see another voting poster like the previous one. This time we were driving slower, because we almost had to turn off the road that we were on.
The words on the poster? Stem Amy Steyn and NOT Stem Amy Stem! I burst out laughing almost immediately and shared the moment with my husband, who laughed even more than what I did! Everytime I pass a voting poster, I will be reminded of this moment, giggling to myself, especially when I pass the ones promoting Amy Steyn.
This is officially my first entry of 2023. I have been meaning to catch up on some drafts that I wrote, but never translated and therefore never published, since my offices closed on 15 December 2022. Guess what? That just never happened! It was as if I was without energy this December holiday. Almost like a battery running on empty.
I had a discussion with my domestic worker about this, she said she also felt like that. Everything was effort. She makes a joke, saying she thinks we are getting older. Just there and then I rebuke that, saying we have just turned 40, so seriously, it cannot be old age. After a quick chat with our neighbour (her dog had puppies and now the Potgieters visited the Krugers every week, and then, when every pup has found a home, we see and hear little of them….my kids just love seeing puppies, oooooohing and aaaaahing about the little miracles that were born). Well, I have deemed it necessary to stop the sentence there, because, as per usual, information overload. Anyway, after having a chat with my neighbour, she said they also felt like that. Not wanting to do anything. So maybe it is something in the air?
This year is supposed to be the Year of Jubilee. 2023 the year of Jubilee. But, boy oh boy, it feels like the enemy just wants to come and steal it. The song in my heart, the praises just feel like they are disappearing into thin air. I can feel January in the air. You know? The feeling of being rushed that kicked in. The athletics atmosphere. The mornings that are gradually becoming cooler (in spite the heat wave we are currently experiencing), just as summer is making her last appearance before handing over to Autumn who will be performing in the falling leaves. I know it is not Autumn yet, because, man oh man, it is HOT. But, I can feel the change in the air. It feels as if this year started a bit more bumpy than usual. First lightning struck my laptop. This time round there are less documents that are lost, but still a few internal documents, especially Beroepsvrou admin type documents….but, it is what it is. It happened and I cannot do anything about it.
The week before our offices re-opened officially, I decided to get going work-wise. But it is a struggle. The stationery for school was purchased later than planned. I just did not have the energy for that. Then the bags full of books, pens and who knows what else, was lying around in my home office, glaring at me and mocking me. It must still be labelled. I recall what it felt like the previous year and how long it took. That was my framework on which I based this task. At the end of the day it was not that bad, I left it until number 99, something that does not work for me. But, I made it and will leave the commentary at that.
Just to put the cherry on top of everything, at the beginning of a new year, we decided to repaint our daughter’s room. Something we meant to do beginning of the holidays, but did not get round to doing, because we just did not feel up to it. This was the weekend before our offices opened officially for the new work year. None the less, we decided to address the elephant in the room and start the process. During this process, my husband sustained a self-inflicted wound to his foot. At that stage we thought it meant 6 to 8 weeks on crutches. At the time of publishing this article (how fancy does that sound, almost like a newspaper article?), the expected time on crutches was reduced significantly and resulted in only about 2 weeks. He is still not able to walk on the foot properly and can also not run around, but at least his extra pair of legs is something of the past and he can function relatively normal.
My list of challenges and moan songs goes on and on, but I will not repeat everything here. The purpose is not to complain in everyone’s ears about what I am experiencing, right at the beginning of the year. I am sharing my irritations and frustrations and challenges. I started writing this entry about a week or so before it was officially published, but never got round to finishing it off. It is even starting to feel like the enemy is stealing time, because time to do everything that I want to do, feels so little, scarce and few & far between. Just last week I was driving somewhere, thinking about how this does not feel like a year of jubilee. When I looked to the left of me, I saw a Farmer’s truck that read (in Afrikaans) Rejoice in the Lord.
Just there I realised that God was reprimanding my thoughts, addressing them sternly. It does not matter what is happening in our lives, we must celebrate by praising and worshipping God! Because when we do that, the enemy has no power. Not that he had much power to start with, but when we start to praise and worship God, we put a big lock in front of the enemy’s mouth so that he cannot throw around any other rubbish in our minds. Approximately one week later, after seeing the truck, I had a chat with my husband. He was talking about an electrical fault on the electricity supply at his mom’s biltong shop. I told him that it is hard to stay positive, especially when things do not work as they should. Just then he became almost discouraged with me, saying “You must not also start with this.”
I looked at him, much to my amazement and surprise, because, in general we do not talk negatively about the country and the state of things, saying how bad it is. But it IS indeed very hard to stay positive, let us just be realistic here. Especially if everything else around you feel so negative. And also, after watching a recent Carte Blanche episode, where it appears that things are not working as they should, the levels of positivity are low. My husband mentioned someone that was like the prophet of doom, being negative about something and the future and who knows what else. He finishes the conversation by saying, all he can hear in his mind, is (in English), Rejoice in the Lord, Rejoice. I looked at him in amazement and with surprise, hearing the words repeated that I read on a truck not too long ago (and actually know that I should not be surprised, because it IS God we are talking about).
It was as if it was a confirmation of that which I read on the truck the week before. I shared with him the scripture that was on the truck, and we both were just amazed at how God really works. It was as if God was just coming to remind me about everything that He stands for (as if I do not know this, but sometimes one gets so caught up in negative thoughts that one tends to forget). He provides for us in abundance. Tomorrow holds its own worries; we do not have to worry about tomorrow. God is already there, in tomorrow and the future. He knows what the best for us is.
Then I think again how I felt a year ago – last year this time. How we struggled to get into a routine after changing schools. I wonder by myself; how did I get to write blog entries? Then it is as if the Holy Spirit reminded me that I did everything between everything else. I started writing on my phone, while I was waiting for the kids, and only later I would finish the entries on my laptop. Work also happened between everything else and while I was waiting for school activities to be completed.
I don’t like working like that. Rushing from point A to point B, laptop bag over the shoulder. But it is the reality of the world that I find myself in. I am sure there are many moms that feel like this! At least I am there for my kids in the afternoons. To be able to give them their food and spray sunblock on them. To be able to sit and sweat beneath a Gazebo at the school athletics, taking pictures of them on the podium. Being there to cheer for them. Something that I never experienced as a child, because my mom had to work the whole day. I always try to use my time wisely and effectively. And between everything else, I do praise and worship God. It does not always take place at a specific time of the day. While doing work and even between work and kids, I chat with Him. Building a relationship with God, hearing from Him who created me. Trying to stay positive, even if everything around me is negative, struggling with cell phone signals between load shedding, shortened deadlines, things that just want to frustrate the living day light out of me. Between everything else, we must still CHOOSE to be positive. To be a LIGHT in this world.
Perhaps it does not feel like a year of Jubilee. For many people I recon it feels like this. It feels like challenge upon challenge, right at the beginning of the year. And that is exactly why we should continue to praise and worship God. To be joyful over His goodness! So that we can prove the contrary to the devil, that is constantly trying to throw a spanner in the works, day in and day out. I refuse to let the devil throw any spanners into my engine, causing it to cease. I will keep on keeping on. It has just taken a while to get back into routine after the December holiday. But moving forward is what I will do, while singing my praises! 2023 is the Year of Jubilee.
It is December 2022. I vowed to finish this Ethics training, which I rolled my eyes to (or is it for?) when the requirements were sent through by SAICA, and I committed to bring it up to date by end of December 2022. Well, all that I can say is that life keeps on happening! My word. I really don’t know how one is supposed to fit everything into a very busy schedule and maintain the balance!
On a cold and rainy day in December, when no one can splash around in the pool, sending me on a pity party because I have to do this training, while everyone else is relaxing, I decided to take on this training thing. What I realised now, is, when I started this training, it feels that I actually approached and did this incorrectly. But, then again, I don’t think there is a right and a wrong way to do this?
In my previous entries that I wrote about this Ethics training, and my experience with it, my focus was more on the journaling side of it, it seems. The part where your brain is stretched a bit. I did do some of the other things in between, watching the videos and so forth, but, my focus was more on the journal side of things it seemed. Which is probably also not wrong, is it? I mean, I experienced it as wonderful and fantastic! Because all the questions that are asked, that you must write about, lets you think, which is wonderful in my opinion! I did not work through all the other documents in detail and in depth. So maybe I should not place the cart before the horses and just do the journaling side of things. I should rather do it systematic, month by month, just like my Boxwood personality loves to do things. The other thing I realised now, is, I cannot do 12 months worth of training in a day. It is designed in such a way to do little-by-little over a longer period….
I then decided to back track with my training, because, you see, after doing each month’s training, you have to answer a few questions to obtain a training certificate. Now this certificate is the most important thing in terms of worldly requirements. This is my proof that I did this thing. I restarted at month two, reading through all the documents, watching all the videos and skipping the journaling side of things, because this has been done. All of these things are very convenient, by the way, and can be done in any way suitable. Either an app on my phone or with an internet link to a website on my computer, available for me anywhere and anytime. I did at some stage, save everything on my Google Drive which also makes it more convenient to access and print as and when needed.
Lynette Berger was so nice to still give me access to this, even if my twelve months since I started this thing, had expired. I am not sure if I am allowed to say this out loud and in the open like I have. But, here it is now! Said and done. Sorry Lynette, if I am the reason for your inbox to overflow with requests after people read this entry.
The documents, which I think, must have taken hours to put together by Probeta, under supervision of Lynette Berger (I am not entirely sure how the structures work there), made me realise just again, how this course fits in with the Pink Feathers of Beroepsvrou. There was absolutely NO way that myself or Lynette and her team, could have known in any way possible, from each other and the content of that which God revealed to us in unique ways and on our different platforms.
The content, it feels, is spot on, page after page. The parts where you have to analyse and dissect your Tall Trees profile, taking it apart, forming and working on being a better person. One of the headings or topics that stood out to me was under the heading Feed your faith and starve your fears. It was month 3 if I remember correctly. WOW. How true is this statement? While reading the content under this heading, it all comes back to what we are feeding ourselves. Emotionally and spiritually. Sounds a bit like my story on the flamingos….I cannot help but to want to give God a fist pump for this, and the fact that He allowed me to discover this course.
Attitudes and outlooks on life is contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people – guess what will happen? You will become one big heap of negativity!! This is exactly how it works in life and here it is, black on white in their notes. I realise just again, how manageable this course actually is. It is our job to ensure that we do not leave everything to the last minute. It took me a few hours to work through a few months’ information. So why do I not do a little every day? 15 minutes daily is manageable is it not?
I just think, in my case, I am so over eager to learn everything, that 15 minutes is not enough. When I find myself again, I am spending hours on these things, working through everything, all while the day job is waiting. Maybe I am over thinking this whole course? Maybe I must set a time limit for myself? Another thing that I also misinterpreted was, the 5 minute ethics moments documents – I thought (I actually do not know what I thought, because clearly I did not think) but, it felt to me that they are all the same. That is probably the reason why I did not read through it in depth…?
Only after further investigation, I saw that the first few paragraphs, which explains the process to be followed, step-by-step, (and is probably aimed at trainees in my opinion), are the same, and then, on page two, somewhere in the middle, the new topics start that must be read, thought about and be answered. It feels that the commentary and statements to be thought about, becomes deeper and more intense as the months progress. Here too I think that God is talking to me, Elsie, directly about my prerequisites – that I am lying to myself, if I think that I am going to feel better about myself and life if certain boxes are checked off.
Now I don’t think that they are trying to say stop everything that you are doing and trying to achieve, because, at the end of the day, that what you are busy doing in your life is what forms a person, to become that which God had planned long ago for each individual on this earth. I do not want to say too much about this, but, there is so much truth that I saw and experienced in this, especially about the anxiety. If you do not live in the present moment, then you tend to live a very anxious life. Ask me!! Been there and done that. I also know people that are still like this. Anxious about what can happen and what happened in the past. I used to live for one day. so much so, that I was missing life and when I woke up one day I was almost 40! It still hurts to think that I missed a bit of my life with this outlook, but, thank God that He woke me up to this. I stopped living for one day and started living in the present moment.
I still have not answered all the questions and reflective moments on all the documents, but, I read through all the content, watched the short videos between 5 and 10 minutes long. Here and there, there is a video that is longer, and this is normally when I approach the Treadmill or switch on the speaker while I am showering and putting on make up. I answered my assessment questions and am now the proud owner of a few Ethical CPD certificates. Enough to satisfy those that do inspections. Enough to satisfy me that I have done what I could with the time available to me. And I just want to add here, that, I am not being hard on myself here. This is reality, there is really no mercy from the professional institutions that we belong to, if you did not comply! Penalties, disciplinary hearings and who knows what else normally lie ahead if you did not do what was expected of you.
This achievement feels like a fist pump moment. With who I do not know, because, I am the only one that has these requirements within our firm. My husband does not understand all the intricate detail of these requirements, but, he supports me when I have to do these things. Even if it is supposed to be holiday time. But it is nice, I enjoy it. Yes, you can say it – I am a nerd and a sucker for these type of things that allow me to develop myself better. Because I just know, that this has a greater impact on my life and the direction that Beroepsvrou is taking. More than what I will ever know or realise. I also realised that my brain was a bit tired after doing three months’ worth of things in one day, and I decided to let it be. I will take on the rest, day-by-day and bit-by-bit in the new year. I know better now what this entails, feeling more comfortable about what to expect and now I know how to approach this. If I could put an emoji here now, it would be the little arm that is flexing his muscles, ready for action.
I truly hope that this entry (of my journey with this training, that felt like the elephant in the room) will inspire someone out there to sign up for this course. Don’t let all the documents and downloads and content overwhelm you. Approach it like you would when eating an elephant (hypothetically speaking of course) – bit-by-bit and day-by-day. Some days you will be able to take on the entire trunk and other days just a little block. But, when you look again, you made progress from the trunk to the tail! Then you would have addressed the elephant in the room. Just do it! Don’t over think it!! You are investing in your life and the best of it all is, the expenses you incurred, are a tax deductible, legit expense (in my case it is because I operate a business – if you earn a salary…maybe not so much). You get hours that count towards your CPD, without the content boring you. It will not provide eye-rolling moments while you are doing this. In my opinion, it is a win-win situation – what are you waiting for?
As the year is closing and coming to an end, everyone seems to feel exhausted and over worked, and one cannot have a feeling but to spoil yourself with a little something special. You earned it right? You worked hard this year! Then the devil normally comes, sowing doubt in your mind about that which you think you want to buy for yourself. He even sows doubt after a nice meal you enjoyed. You know? When you spend money on something, rather than being more responsible with it.
My goodness, then you just do not feel good after doing something like this. Even if there was nothing wrong with what you did. Guilt and shame overwhelms you. Just there and then. You try to convince yourself otherwise and that you did work hard and deserve it, but there is no mercy. At the end of the day, you just feel like you do not have the boldness and freedom to do something for yourself, and then you end up not doing it anyway. On top of that, you feel guilty for having that thought (even if you did not follow through with it).
This is how I felt for many years about many things. Felt I am not allowed to purchase new clothes, have a meal in a restaurant with my family, even the house we are living in made me feel guilty (and it is not a magazine house, but, it offers a safe place and a place to sleep for each one of us – big enough for everyone to have their own space). The list felt endless. But then I came across this scripture. From Ecclesiastes (for the life of me I did not know what Prediker was in English! I had to look it up in the Bible again!) and also that every man should eat and drink and see and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God. (Amplified version). WOW. What a wonderful piece of scripture!
The something that you feel you want to do AND enjoy, you are ALLOWED to do, because that is a gift from God. What this tells me, the long and the short of it is, if you applied hard labour during the year, and you enjoy the good that comes with this, then you receive a gift from God. This is so profound and I am not saying go and spend all your money on yourself and walk away from your responsibilities. Not at all! But enjoy it, when you do something like this.
I want to leave everyone reading this entry with the following – it is now December. Some people are paid bonusses, and others perhaps not. Some receive a thirteenth cheque (yes I know, cheques do not exist anymore, but we all speak of it in this manner), others receive a smaller bonus, a little something extra. If you received a bonus or not, do not feel guilty about the remuneration that you received. If you worked hard, really HARD during the year, then there is nothing wrong with enjoying it.
Whether you pay your debts or whether you buy something for yourself that you always wanted. Perhaps you only drink a milkshake. It does not matter, use the gift that God has given to you through your hard labour. It was a long year for everyone. Everyone is exhausted… This is officially the last entry that I will do that deals with the scriptures on the very first desk pad that I designed and sold through Beroepsvrou. What a journey it has been!! There will be more in 2023 – new year and new bible verses! Watch this space! May you and your loved ones have a Blessed Christmas. Be safe, enjoy the gift that God has given us. Rest well so that we can take on the new year with new courage and energy! 2023 is the year of Jubilee!
So I have been walking around with a word in my mind, since last week sometime. The word? Benevolence. Now, for a primarily Afrikaans speaking person, this is a big word. Something that does not form part of my vocabulary at all. I had to go and google the word to see what it meant. The word came to me in English too. Something that does not happen often.
My entries normally start in Afrikaans, my thoughts about it and what I feel God wants me to write are all usually in Afrikaans. But this time it was different. Everything happened in English. I have been carrying this word in my mind, asking God what He wants me to write about it. When something like this is on my mind as much as this was, then I just KNOW I have to write about it.
Of course, when you google the meaning, it means the quality of being well meaning, kindness. I left it there, because what am I supposed to do with this? I KNOW God is Benevolent, so to write about that was a bit of a challenge to me, because what am I supposed to write? The Bible is full of testimonies of God being a Benevolent God.
You see how I have now made this word part of my vocabulary? I have to chuckle at this, a word I have never used before was used more than once in a paragraph. Anyway, I am getting distracted again!
Now before I got the word Benevolence, I had been feeling something in my spirit. I could not quite place my finger on it, because it is a feeling I have felt before but also not felt before, saying all of that in the same breath. I have this agitation hanging over me like a cloud.
I am just so irritated with everything and everyone, why I don’t know. From the dogs, to the parrot, the hamster, the kids, the authorities and their ridiculous requirements for us as CA’s and everything (and everyone) in between was agitating me. This is not normal behavior to me, this is something that I had laid off years ago, yet now it is surfacing again. almost like it is coming up to breathe. Why I could not say.
Then God sent me this word. Everywhere in my mind, I see the word and I am reminded of it. Almost like in life, when you notice something, you NOTICE it if you know what I mean? Like a car brand, once you become aware of it, you see it EVERYWHERE! Now this was the same with this word.
If I have to put this into a picture for you of how it was, it would be as follows – in my mind, I saw it written on a banner, then a billboard, then a road sign next to the road, on pieces of paper, even the mushrooms popping up in the grass seemed to spell Benevolence. That is how in my face it was (only in my mind not physically around me).
This morning I realised WHY God gave me this word. You see, I have a teenager in the house and a little tween, who is becoming a tween too quickly according to me, because she is only 8 years of age. Man oh man, did I forget the knowledge that one supposedly possess at the age of 8 and 13 years.
Being benevolent with them has become a challenge. The arguments of how they think something works and must be, when I know it does not work that way. The attitude that I get when I only put in a sandwich for school (this is the tween by the way) and not something else. Or when I put in the something else in a lunch box that is not to her liking, then all things benevolent fly out the door.
Or when the teenager argues about a steering wheel accessory for the X-Box (yes, we purchased one, something that we said we would NEVER do – well, never say NEVER). And when it is installed and plugged in, it does not work as expected. Something which we told him would happen. Him putting it to one side, because it does not work as he had thought it would, wasting money on something like that not being used. When this happens, all benevolence runs out the door, trying to set a new world record for 100 metre sprints, trying to beat Usain Bolt’s world record.
So here I am. Guilty as charged. Not showing benevolence. I realise that God is pressing very hard on my heart to work on this. I have to use the tools that He is providing. The tools I am referring to, are the Tall Trees Ethics Training from ProBeta and Hettie Brittz. The latest addition to my tools, is the EI Activator, which is an add-on or plug in if I may refer to it in that way (and use some computer lingo, something that I have limited knowledge of), to the Tall Trees Ethics Training.
All of these things take time. It feels like life is happening, not allowing me to get to explore these tools. Lucky for me, it is now a requirement to do Ethics training to remain a CA. That is the reason WHY I chose something useful and purposeful like the Tall Trees Ethics Training and EI Activator. And yes, I say it like that now, because, I decided to look for the positive in this requirement, rather than sitting on the sidewalk, with my can of worms, complaining about the requirements.
I truly hope (and deep down know) that I will find benevolence when I start exploring, dissecting and excavating the field of EI Activator. The ground work and tone is being set in the Tall Trees Ethics Training, I just have to finish that (said tongue in the cheek because I am on month 4 and I have forgotten what was said, so I am probably going to have to redo it all in any way, before I can answer the questions to obtain the CPD certificate), so that I can move on to the EI Activator part of the expedition that I am finding myself in.
I know I have not been Benevolent, this is not God’s plan for me, to not be Benevolent. Let us take up the challenge with the teens and tweens in our house, the authorities, the pets and everything in between. Let us use Benevolence as our tool in this challenge. Benevolence – noun – the quality of being well meaning; kindness. How Benevolent are you?
As I was walking through our local shopping centre the other day, I could just feel the end of the year in the air. You know, a vibe that is in the air, around November and December, not at any other time of the year. It feels as if life is just happening all the time, with time flying by and when you wake up one morning, it is past mid-November.
Another year is almost over. Another year to reflect on. What happened? Highlights and low-lights (is this the right word to use for something negative that happened?). This is the nostalgic time of the year. Something that I am not fond of, because it implies that I am yet again, another year older. In my mind I am still a 28 year old. I am not sure if I still look like a 28 year old, or even a thirty-something-year-old… but I still feel young for what it is worth.
This month’s scripture on the desk pad is from Deuteronomy (if you still don’t know what it is about – feel free to visit my online shop, order one and then you too will have something pretty for your work desk and then you will understand why I write about random Bible verses). Now I deemed it necessary to end the sentence right there, because of my long explanation in brackets. Moving on!
This must be the book in the Bible that is the hardest to pronounce, the one that contains this month’s scripture. This scripture is so big and profound to me. The Lord will make you the head (leader) and not the tail (follower); and you will be above only, and you will not be beneath, if you listen and pay attention to the commandments of the Lord your God, which I am commanding you today, to observe them carefully. Deut 28:13 (Amplified).
Wow. Where does one start with the analysis of this and what God laid on my heart about the scripture? Let us start with listening and obeying the commandments. Now I know we are no longer subject to the laws of the Old Testament. Jesus came and set us free from that. BUT, in the New Testament, Jesus refers to the biggest commandment. And Jesus replied to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ Matthew 22:37-39 AMP
What this tells me, is, if you love God, and your neighbor (which actually implies any person other than yourself and not literally the person living next door), then you will automatically obey the ten commandments. Because, if you love someone, you will not steal from them, you will not tell lies and so the list continues. So I recon that I can say check, I think I understand what this part of the scripture means, referring to the commandments.
So back to the first part – the promise from God Himself. This does not come via someone else. This is God Himself talking here, PROMISING. It is also not half a promise, not a might, or maybe baby type thing. He promises to ME (and you reading this) that He will make me the head, I SHALL be above, not beneath, be the head and not the tail. But, there is a condition attached to it. You must obey the commandments of God.
Only if you do your part, will God do His part. How many times do we still do something that we have supposedly laid off when we decided to follow Jesus? Did you tell a half-truth, which is actually a lie to someone? Promised something and did not do it? Maybe you did something to intentionally hurt someone or cause damage in a way to them? Talking about others behind their backs, oh, the list feels endless.
You see, and this is here where it feels to me that the fight between the head and the tail comes in. Our spirits are willing, but the flesh remains weak. And that is why we need Jesus! Alone we cannot do it! The devil will condemn you, over and over, judge you, make you feel guilty. In Afrikaans we say laer as ‘n luis which just means he makes you feel worthless! All because you have not done this, that and the next. He tries to pull you down below.
But, when you truly turn around your life, laid down your sinful life, and truly try to do everything within your power to love God AND obey His commandments, then it cannot be different for us than to be the head and not the tail, rising up, can it? God’s grace for us is big, He forgives us when we do something wrong and we repent. I choose to cling onto God’s promise, doing everything within my power to show love for others (and myself), also loving God.
Yes, I fail at times. And that is probably also how we learn and grow is it not? Nobody is perfect, but we can strive to be more like Jesus, obeying His commandments. Be a Jesus-Freak, always trying to show love to others and to oneself, turning away from old habits and sinful acts. Then you will see what God will do for you!
Who is winning in your life? The Head or the Tail? What is the outcome of the banner, spread out, is announcing the fight – Head vs. Tail? I surely hope that my results will be Head 1 – Tail 0 and that I will be able to maintain it!
Now I have been meaning to finish this range of entries for some time now and the whole time something else requires more attention from me. Everytime I sit and write about this, storing a draft version, I feel that it is not right. It feels too superficial and actually nothing that God wants me to publish, if I can put it in that way.
Well, one morning in the shower, I think about all my draft versions that have started to write and just never published, and I think about what it really means to be bold. And just like that, the Holy Spirit comes, drops words in my thoughts, almost like when you put coins into a piggy bank.
I think to myself God is terribly on time. Everything on His time. So what God showed me, is, before you can be bold, you must first know what type of letter you really are. And with that I mean your style, your personality type, your body shape (yes this plays a big role in my opinion), who you are as a person, what you stand for on all levels, not only physically. And of course, who you are in Christ.
Then you have to start making peace with it. Apply self-love. I NEVER knew I was an A-shape body type. I always thought that I did something wrong so that my ass (ag I just have to use this word here and those of you who have heard me talk in real life, will understand that this just accentuates what I am talking about) is so big compared to the rest of my body. Instinctively I always purchase dresses rather than pants, because, oh my hat, finding pants that fit this body is just a losing battle it seems. Inherently God built it into me to choose items that flatter my body more, choosing colors and styles that suite my skin’s undertone better, without me even realising it.
Well then, after attending the Masterclass of Aletté Winckler in April, I learnt so much more about my physical appearance. I learnt to make peace with the fact that my bumb is bigger than my upperbody. It is what it is and it is WHAT I make of it.
Then, through all of this, I am busy with Ethics training from Probeta (I have some catching up to do and this is also why you have not heard anything more from me in this regard), based on personality types as described by Hettie Brittz (Tall Trees). Now this is another eye opener if I can call it that. Again, I could NEVER understand how sometimes, I can just go with the flow and be relaxed, taking life as it comes. And then in other situations, I freak out when I feel something does not happen the way I feel it should happen.
Yes you guessed it – THIS is who I am, WHO God made ME to be. I must learn to embrace it, accept it and develop it. This works on an emotional and spiritual level. So between the two things that I do and have done (Tall Trees and Aletté Winckler’s Masterclass), I am busy exploring and discovering who I am and what I am called for. I am also busy with EI Activator (Emotional Intelligence that expands on Tall Trees), but I have not made much progress there as yet, but I just know that the knowledge that I will obtain there will also just add more and more to this process.
So now that I know that I am an A type body letter, a Palm Tree AND a Boxwood, (I cannot elaborate much about EIA because I have to work a bit more through the material to know what I am there), I can proceed to discover myself with God by my side. He is busy teaching me about food (that I feel wants to overwhelm me every now and then) and what I must do to maintain my temple so that I can do the work which He called me for and placed me on earth for. And of course to develop that which needs developing…now my A can be an A that stands out.
In October 2021, when I felt that I had to design the Pink Feathers range, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for, on all levels. Just as well, because if I knew, I probably would not have done it.
What am I talking about? The whole process of having an online store, managing the stock, finding money to pay for it all, but the biggest thing of everything – the photos for the webpage. I did not have a clue. Did not overthink it, because I was so focused on the designs and the physical product at the time.
But none the less. I took the photos in my way and as I saw fit. Looking back, they were AWFUL and the fact that someone purchased anything from me with those photos is actually a miracle!!
In the mean time I was growing during this process, and I decided to change the background, retake the photos, going through the motions of uploading them to my website again. It takes long, just by the way, because you are dependent on your internet speed. Then someone makes a comment on the photos, saying it must be a white back ground, taken from another angle, do this and change that.
Over the Easter weekend I decided to retake the photos AGAIN. The only white thing that I had in the house was a sheet. The lines made from folding, frustrates me, the reflection of the light (I am taking the photos at the dining room table, while the rest of my tribe is watching a movie) irritates me even more. I cannot get the phone’s (yes I use my phone because the Canon camera is also a frustration for me) positions exactly the same when holding it while taking the pictures.
The ring light stand thing that I use, actually just does not work and it feels to me like one huge mess. But now I have to push through, because I have already started the process, so I cannot give up now. With lots of frustrations, as you can clearly see, I push forward. Trying hard not to spend money on unnecessary things.
Some time later (a few months), I had a chat on Whatsapp with Anri Erasmus of Painted Lemons. Can I just tell you how this girl helped me since I got the plan from God? She was the one that I contacted to say I want to design a desk pad. She was the one that taught me about Canva, Creative Market and plenty of other things.
She was the one that connected me with the printers that I use, the tannie that makes the aprons. She was the one that just continued to support and guide me during the whole process. Anyway, I cannot remember how we started the conversation about photos, but I told her that I am not CRAZY about the current photos.
That is when she answered me (in her words) Nee tjommie, jy kry vir jou drie borde met mooi textures. I thought to myself WHAT? Say what now? What must I get? Where does one get the boards that she is talking about? Not too long after that, she sent the link to the boards from Flatlay Studio. Shortly after that another message came through with the app that I must download to take and edit pictures like a pro (and here I believe it stands for professional and not probeerder).
Wow! Such valuable knowledge! I took some money and purchased the necessary items. After the goods were delivered (what felt like an eternity but in reality was only a few days), curiosity got the better of me and I could not WAIT to take photos. I open the one item and think UUUHHMMM I think I purchased the wrong thing, I cannot see how one can take nice photos with this. Well, I was wrong!
One Saturday, while at the Spar, I made an Impromto decision to purchase fresh flowers for the photos. I start to take photos, but struggled with the angle and height while taking the pictures, all because I do not have a stand that works.I continue my photography session, snapping away. I took the pictures inside the house at night (because that is all time that I have). To me they look stunning but I still felt that something is missing.
In the mean time, I Whatsapp Anri YET AGAIN, sharing the photos that I have taken, with her, along with my frustrations. Oh my word, I realise now how frustrating the photographs were to me! Probably because I had no idea what it is that I was trying to do.
She said I must purchase a stand and sends a link on Takealot of one that she uses. She viewed my photographs – giving advice, recommending that I take the pictures in daylight rather than inside with lights switched on. The next day I start AGAIN, retaking the photos. Why I don’t know, because I do not have the stand yet. I start a bit late in the afternoon, and I do not have enough daylight to finish. I continue inside and then I saw the difference between natural light and lights switched on.
I felt so discouraged, because my photos are not finished, the fresh flowers are going to die and we are going on leave. I do not have a stand. I don’t have time to do this in the week, I have to work. The day job’s work does not stop. I decided to put the flowers in the fridge (they are Proteas and I reckoned they will last long), letting the other leaves dry out, putting it in a container to protect it from dust.
The stand arrived while we were on leave. The day after returning from leave, I decided to retake all the photos AGAIN, this time with the stand and some stickers as markers for placing the different items in the same position (I am mos now becoming a pro) in daylight on the stoep. The flowers still look fine so I do not have to go to the Spar AGAIN to purchase some fresh flowers.
Let me just tell you, halfway through this process, when it felt like my back was breaking off from being in awkward positions from taking pictures, I think to myself WHAT WAS I THINKING? WHY AM I DOING THIS? But, I cannot stop now. I have come this far, I need to push through….
Can I just say one thing? I have new respect for website photos. Especially of stationery. Because how on earth do you take photos of these items to make them look pretty and inviting for people to purchase? Anyway. The photography session is done, photos are edited and uploaded to my website. When looking back on where I started less than 1 year ago and where I am now, I cannot help but notice God’s hand in everything.
How He sent me people (ok one person with connections) to help and guide me through the whole process. Anri Erasmus, from the bottom of my heart I want to thank you that you responded to this crazy lady’s Facebook messenger message in 2020. That you invited me to your house to answer all my questions around the Bible that I wanted to purchase, the paint and all the other things I wanted to know. Explaining and answering everything that comes so easy and naturally to you, so patiently to me.
And how you just guided me on and off during this process. When I was stuck with something, sending you 500 messages when I am uncertain about something (only people who have communicated with me on Whatsapp will understand this one), you just keep me calm, explaining everything step-by-step of what I needed to know at that point in time. THANKS for this!!!
Above all, thank you God for the knowledge and wisdom that You gave to me, with what I call God’s crazy plan (said with respect of course) and for the development and growth that I can see in myself on all levels. Emotionally, spiritually and physically. I want to share some photos on this entry of the transformation – where it started and where it is now, the ones that stand proud and tall on my webpage.
This is now truly a testimony of the scripture Anything is possible with God. I hear in my mind how the kids sing-talk together A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD. A-L-L-E-S IS MOONTLIK MET GOD. Something they were taught at Eden Leersentrum. And it is truly so. Everything is possible with God’s help. If a Chartered Accountant can take these types of pictures and be this creative, then anyone can do anything!
The first photoThe next oneWith the sheet and other decór itemsWith Flatlay Studio boards and banners
Here we are, mid-October already and I cannot help but wonder where the time is going to. I know I have said it in almost every entry (or so it felt like to me), but, seriously, the time goes by so quickly, I feel I cannot keep up! I then look at my desk pad and this month’s scripture.
I compare it with the other versions on my electronic Bible (how wonderful is technology?) just to make sure I have the correct interpretation. And I think I have it!
So Paul (it was he who wrote Corinthians was it not?) wrote here that nothing that we have ever seen, heard or thought about in our hearts, can describe what God has prepared for us. Wow, I think a moment about this and realise just HOW big this is. I think most certainly it refers to the eternal life, but also our time here on earth.
God’s plan for us is prosperity and not harm, is that not so? So why can this not be applicable to our time here on earth too? Practically I can testify about this scripture and what happened in my life. And don’t get me wrong, we need hard and harder times, because that is when we are formed and character is built. But the good times and the prosperous times are needed too.
You see, if I have to think about all my earthly desires that I have, then I think it will be awesome if all my tasks associated with my day job, will be up to date and stay that way. That I have no pressure what so ever and that everything will just go smoothly the whole time, every time. Of course I have a million or three other desires too (we all have this dream about something you know?), but this one stands out to me the most.
So I thought that this was my biggest desire. Well, I was wrong!! You see, during September 2022, God fulfilled a desire for me that I did not think about, heard of before or had seen as yet. You guessed it – the radio interview! What an experience that was! You see, I did not think that it is something that I want to do. And now, said with a tongue-in-the-cheek, it feels like this is ALL that I want to do! The dream job, the one that you always dream about but never get to do.
God fulfilled and surpassed my wildest, biggest desires with that interview. A day or so after the interview, I paged through my desk pad’s scriptures for the remainder of the year and then it struck me – THIS is what God meant with this verse. Now, think to yourself, if something like a radio interview feels big to me, how BIG and WONDERFUL are His plans for us?
It is BIG, very BIG, our brains cannot fathom this, even if we try very hard to wrap it around this. And I think, actually, it is better this way, because now we have something to look forward to! Do you look forward to what God has planned for you? I most definitely look forward to what God has planned for me, Beroepsvrou and my day job…
The whole week, while we were on holiday, I had this longing for the caregiver in our family. As we were travelling back from our sea side holiday, my thoughts wander. To my sister Erika Breytenbach. You see, those of you who are only tuning in to my blog now, may not know this, but she and her family made the choice one year ago to uproot themselves and to settle in another country.
At first I did not understand why I had this yearning and longing, especially now. But then I saw on Facebook how she shared her heart and emotions of being on the other side of the world for one year and how traumatic it actually was with the Pandemic. My heart was crying when I saw this. Then I understood, because, somewhere my brain made the connection with this time of the year and someone dying alive to me, if this makes sense at all at what I am trying to say here. With this I mean, they are still alive, but out of reach for fleshy hugs and physical contact.
I scroll by the entries fast, because I am scared that I will start crying like I did when I greeted them, what felt like 100 times in Pretoria one year ago. We did not visit each that frequently. When I was younger, yes, and before kids, for sure. At that stage we visited them more often. But then life got too busy and the Pandemic and lock down limited travels between provinces.
I call her the care giver, because she is the nurse in our family. She does not like it very much when called a nurse, because she actually is a Sister. And yes, there is a difference. Probably the same as in my career when people call me a bookkeeper when that is not what I am.
She has this ability to keep one calm. Especially in crisis situations. With our car accident 16 years ago, I trusted her more than all the doctors and nurses at the hospital. When my child sustained a head wound from jumping off a bed (with my mom being in a coma at the time), she was the one that I phoned (yes, I panicked and struck a blank as to what to do with the head wound). If a client received a diagnoses of some form, then I would turn to her to explain what is actually meant with this knowledge that we have just gained.
When my mom was in the coma and had to go in for the MRI, she was the one that was standing next to her, cool, calm and relaxed, holdig our dying mother’s hand. Not once could I detect any panic wanting to overwhelm her. I remember standing there, watching her, thinking to myself How do you do that????
I also think of her husband Jaco. How he inspired me to become a CA. Giving crash courses just before exams on how to operate a financial calculator (something I have forgotten long ago and for the life of me, still cannot operate effectively and correctly).
Well then, my dear sister and heavy (a direct translation for swaar when we actually mean swaer – and yes – go and google all the meanings and then you will connect the dots on this translation), I truly hope that your roots will settle quickly on the new soil that you find yourself on. I hear it is hard to immigrate. Mixed emotions when you decide to do something like this. I don’t know if I told you this, but one year ago, on the camp, God confirmed to me that I have to let you go.
Over and over He said this is how it must be. He even gave me a map of New Zealand on that same camp. As if He wanted me to HEAR and SEE that this is part of His plan and that I must trust the process, even if it does not make sense to me.
Love you sis. Our caregiver. Our eldest sister. The one that made slap chips (fries for those of you who do not know and understand the South-African Afrikaans slang used here) from fresh potatoes for lunch, with a white sauce made from scratch. It probably did not happen that often, but it stood out to me from growing up together.
I cried so much when you went to P.E. to go and study there (and no, I cannot type or pronounce the new name for Port Elizabeth so in my mind it will stay P.E.). Because it felt so far away. So out of reach. Little did I know that you will choose a destination even further away. Miss you. Even if we are only a Whatsapp call apart, the time zones are tricky to work around…
I am trying my utmost best to keep the fern alive that I got from you. It almost did not survive winter. But I think I have found the spot for it, where his leaves are green and soft and healthy – I am most certainly not going to move it again. It stands here right next to my computer and when I see it, I think of you. The fern that stands tall and proud on the cover photo of my blog, next to me on the desk.
Until we see each other again. And to be able to give fleshy hugs to each other. Until then I will swallow back the tears. Pretending that it is just a dream. Putting my head in the ground and making the decision to not think about it too much. Because that helps to ease the pain and longing, even if just by a little bit.
The junk journal that came with the map (I made this myself by the way) The celebrations of one year in a foreign country.
The other day I went onto social media, on Facebook and saw the memories that were shared 3 years ago. It was a conversation with my son, 10 years old at the time. For those of you who know him, knows that he loves facts and that our house is full of various types of fact books.
None the less, I cannot recall the exact conversation. I almost think that he randomly said something to the effect of “Who is the best mommy in the world?”
With a chest swelling up from being proud, I sit and listen, waiting for Mom of the year award to be given to me by my 10 year old son. But soon all my dreams were shattered. His answer to the question? “An Octopus. Because she looks after her eggs for 52 months.”
I could not help but laugh, and I still laugh when I am reminded about these random facts that we learn every so often from Franco! Never a dull moment in the Potgieter household!
And the Mom of the year award goes to….Mother Octopus!!!
So not everyone has the privilege to blog about their special day. The special day? Our wedding anniversary of course! Last year was the first year that I had the opportunity to blog about our special day and I even thought, mmmmm….I will not be able to blog about this again!
Well, I was wrong. You see, it is not a Same old, same old, Happy Anniversary, I will choose you a thousand times over, love you to the moon and back standard day. To me, every year that we have been spared together, is an absolute miracle right out of God’s hand.
This year’s anniversary will be different – we are on the road the entire day to our holiday destination. It is school holidays and I cannot remember when last we went to the coast during a school holiday. Decembers do not count, as that was almost the norm for so many years of our marriage.
Well then, none the less. I want to share with the world a bit more about my husband Heinrich. The one whom I prayed for. You see, I was not too specific in my prayer to God about my requirements. There were only two things that bothered me when I was young (and I did not know how to pray in my opinion, especially when I look back now, but anyway, moving on).
The first requirement was – my husband must be taller than what I am. So check God sorted that one for me. The second requirement was – my husband must wear pants that are sized bigger than mine. Yes, you may laugh. But at one stage, when I was young and skinny, there were these short and even skinnier guys who were interested in me. Nothing put me off more thinking I must date or marry a guy that wears a size 32 pants while I was a size 34 at that stage.
Stupid I know! But that was literally the only requirements I had. And come to think of it, it was just as well that I did not give God a longer list of requirements. Because I don’t think I would be able to choose it better than what He chose my husband for me. After 16 years of married life, we are even closer to each other than what we were when we got married. That is how it is supposed to be, is it not?
We understand each other better and I recon we bring the best out in each other. There is the odd occasion where we disagree about what seems like nothing, but, that is also needed and part of the process. Most important of all, we serve God together! In our own ways that suite our personalities best and we trust God absolutely for everything that we do.
Heinrich makes me laugh, has the funniest sense of humor (which I think rubbed off on me but was most probably always there, waiting to be found and developed in the right circumstances), he understands me, treats me with respect, calms me when needed, supports me, trusts me and loves me.
Like I said, I would not have been able to choose better. This is absolutely out of God’s hand that we found each other, which feels like a lifetime ago. I went through Facebook’s photos that I uploaded over the years. It was so nice to see and remember with each photograph, where we were at that given moment in time. Of course I wanted to make a slideshow. But to my frustration I am struggling a bit. So I hope the slideshow will see the light!
It feels so relevant to point out some good memories and a few less good ones of our married life together. In the 16 years of being married, we only moved into the house we are currently living in (yes, we have not had to endure the frustrations and patience of packing up a house together to move and I don’t know if and when we will ever do it). We have experienced together – two children, one ectopic pregnancy, one miscarriage, too many to count dachshunds (sausage dogs), one parrot, a whole lot of hamsters and a Pekingese.
We were even together in a magazine – but that was before we got married so that probably does not count? It was in the Accountancy SA so no major circulations and publications of us in a magazine! We started our day job’s business together, also before we got married…. during our married life a blog was born, giving the world a bit of a look into our lives, we experienced a Radio interview with me greeting the readers rather than listeners, something that we laugh about frequently (of course he tuned in and listened in depth hearing the mistake and not being able to help me to say the right thing).
We survived a Pandemic, wearing masks and sanitizing until end of days it felt. There were tough times, humorous laughing times, good times, better times and just normal ticking over times. But in all these times, God was there. He looked after us, provided for us, protected us. So many silly decisions that we wanted to make, thinking it was a good one, was stopped by God and when we look back, we can just stand in total awe and amazement of His guidance and grace that we experienced! We cannot help but to praise God for this!
Heinrich – I dedicate this piece and every piece that I will write for every year after this to you and our lives together. I thank God every day for you, that He borrowed you for my time on earth. At least you are still taller than what I am and I hope the size of the pants is still bigger than mine and that I did not become dikkes over the years, so that one of my two requirements have not fallen off the list. (Because, yes, I have not been a size 34 for many years now!!!).
May God give you even more wisdom and insight on how to handle things. May He bring us even closer to each other as we move closer to Him. May He still use us as a couple together to reach people, in a unique way, suitable for our unique personalities. Happy Anniversary, love you to the moon and back, choosing you a thousand times over!
Cleaning your mousepad purchased from Beroepsvrou has never been easier. Like my kids say – Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy! Watch the video below and follow the instructions included….happy cleaning! And of course a special thanks to my sister from another mister, Dora!
The weekend of 9 to 11 September 2022, marked the fifth year of Adorned ministries’ annual retreat camp. The usual suspects were there, if I may refer to them in that way, humorously speaking of course.
The theme of this year’s retreat was Woman. Thea van Rooyen, from Thea’s Poeierkamer did an excellent job with the creation of woman of the bible, all whom were featured in her class on Saturday afternoon.
The theme for the camp was ‘Ishshâh Nâshîym which means Woman.
As usual, we all were exhausted the Friday evening. Tammy (again I have to check her surname because, my word, for the life of me I cannot remember this one!) Tambourlas from WOW Woman of Worth said to me that I was also tired last year, what is wrong?
I realised later, that it is because I have just come out of a busy period work wise, AND had stayed up until almost mid-night the night before, finishing off a car made from boxes for a school parade. Don’t ask. All I can say is, it consisted of three boxes, plenty of spray paint (Chrome nogal), screws, wooden blocks, lace and glue.
Back to the retreat. Confucius tried to take over again the Friday evening, similar to last year. Lynn’s page (from JOTW Journaling on the Way) was just sooooo confusing to us, but I think it was more that we were all just so exhausted!
Confucius tried to take over again, but we managed to overcome any form of confusion that tried to take over.
The venue was changed from last year and I am sure everyone that was there last year and again this year, were very grateful that there was no Donkey keeping us from sleeping!
Again it was not luxurious and at the end of the day that does not matter at all! You only sleep in your room, so I guess you do not need a five star hotel room with room service!
God needs to take you from your comfort zone to a place of almost total exhaustion so that He can work with us. This is my opinion and may not be right, but, when you step out of your comfort zone, God can work more and better in your life.
The word for Woman in Hebrew looked like Greek to me.
Elsie Potgieter
Before I go on about the messages that were brought to us, I want to chat a bit more about the retreat. I woke up one morning, a few months ago, with Carolien and the camp in mind and the words Back to your roots and a sandy brown color in mind. Now by now, I know that God speaks to me in a strange way and I no longer question Him.
True to God’s word – this is what the camp was about. Shortly before the camp, I asked Carolien for more information about the retreat, just so that I could get my mind around it and what it is about, and of course for some inspiration for this blog entry. She sent me a word and its meaning.
We are made to shine. Stepping out into the role that we were created for.
Lynn Grobler – Journaling on the Way
It looked Greek to me. But it was actually Hebrew. Same difference right? No, not at all. The word was (and yes, I too cannot read or pronounce the word, so you are not alone AND I had to type this from the advertisement image) ‘Ishshâh Nâshîym.
Around about this time in writing the entry, I realised that this is going to be a longer than usual post. This is purely because I am trying to capture three days’ worth of events in one entry. Splitting them up will loose the essence of what I am trying to say. So make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and proceed reading. I am also only doing this in English, so sorry nê – geen Afrikaanse weergawe nie….
So the Greek aka Hebrew word means Woman. Lynn’s message was for us to shine and her page was a cutex bottle with glitter. It was higher grade stuff – making this cutex bottle. It involved a whole lot of folding and sticking things together with the green Tombow glue, NOT the blue one!
I ended up purchasing both from Tammy’s shop, only for it to probably lie in my bag for a year to dry out again (I don’t stick stuff in my bible that often). Eventually we got it right! She continued with her message to say that the word Shine stood out to her as she was preparing for the camp and the message she was to bring to all. We need to step into the role that we were created for.
The message from Soria Vermeulen was Daughter of the King
EnDeo Bible Journaling
Saturday morning, Soria Vermeulen (from EnDeo Bible Journaling) presented her class. Her message was Daugther of the King. An ever so delicate face made by a Cricut machine (everyone is on this bandwagon now about this machine and it can apparently do everything except make coffee and do your admin for you it seems). A very handy thing to have, especially if you are into Bible journaling. One day I will have one is one of the thoughts that I have had about this machine…..making my heart’s desires known to God in the process too…
So again there was a little bit of confusion. Not as much as the night before, but it also seemed every time I sat down to do a page, exhaustion overwhelmed me. Perhaps because I was relaxing and did not have to worry about meals for my family for an entire weekend? Anyway, the confusion was with the sticking of the delicate face….some people gave it lots of glue making it impossible to handle and stick down.
Soria finished off by reading a poem that someone wrote, confirming that we are strong women, no matter what happens to us. The Saturday afternoon it was Thea’s turn, from Thea se Poeierkamer. My word, all I can say is that I just LOVE this woman and her personality and sense of humor! She was the one that drew and painted all the Dollas van die Bybel as she calls them. The ones that were used to advertise the retreat.
Dollas van die Bybel
Thea van Rooyen – Thea se Poeierkamer
But first, before we can do anything, we have to fold something. This is Thea’s thing. There was a bit less confusion than last year. Those who attended will understand that the junk journal is just way above all of our heads and you need ten post graduate degrees to do that one it seems.
We folded our little envelope and then we could move onto the good and exciting part of the class. Making a cross with a Dolla van die Bybel on. She explained all of them, who they are and random Dollas were handed out to all the ladies. She further said that pencils and paint don’t talk back so you can do ANYTHING with them!
I believe that God gave each person the Dolla that they should have gotten, as there is a special message behind it for all of us. Part of the kit that we got was a sterfbed geheim hand made item from Thea. It looks like a doily and gives the cross just a bit of depth and texture. There was even a lady that just did not want Eve, but Eve kept on following her no matter what she tried to do!
Of course in between everything we were trying to rest and had our meals, which were lovely by the way, journaling in between. Now up to this point, if I had thought these pages and the cross that we had to make were higher grade, well I had it wrong.
Carolien’s class was higher grade, explaining the content and roots of the words God, Man and Woman.
Carolien presented the evening class. And she whipped out some Greek aka Hebrew words and meanings for us. I lost her half way through as my brain was just too tired to capture and grasp everything. But, I understood the core message. There is a little bit of God in a man and woman (please see the pictures in the gallery then this will make more sense).
And a little bit of a man and woman in each other. The same thing that is in the Greek aka Hebrew word for God, man and woman, gets removed when we fight and do not have God as the center of our lives. Then we are only left with fire and then we all know what fire does – everything is destroyed and goes up in flames so to speak.
This time round I had the privilege to serve people. Last year I was on the other side being served. Sobbing and crying like I have not done before. But I can tell you, all those tears, healed the wounds and scars that were left in my heart over time and by so many things that happened to me all through my life.
Just by the way – I was not always this chirpy happy person that I am now. I can feel the change in myself that God has brought over me since the Adorned Camp that I attended in 2021. My first camp. The life changing camp. The one where the Pink Feathers Range was born.
Being used by God was such a privilege. Never in my life have I experienced God in this way. He was talking to me in pictures. As we served people, He gave me visions. They seemed strange to me but when I shared them, the Holy Spirit did the rest and helped with the healing process in all the ladies.
Through all of the serving of ladies, God served me too through them. I received confirmation that I did hear correctly with Beroepsvrou (something doubt is trying to take away very so often) and I further received revelation about the black colour of my Beroepsvrou apron, something that I also was unsure of and why it had to be black.
Somewhere over the weekend (I forget whether it was the Saturday or Sunday), Carolien revealed the first Afrikaans bible, designed by her, which has been a process of two years! A gorgeous hard covered, ring bound bible, split between the old and the new testaments called Die Sierlike Kuns Bybel. She explained the Strelitzia flower on the cover and why she chose this. And I must say, this is something that wants to be done! In spite of all the challenges and delays, God made a way for this Bible to see the light!
Don’t compare your journey with the person next to you. The battle is normally in our minds.
Anri -Painted Lemons and Rochelle – LaRochelle Crafts
Sunday morning we were joined by Anri Erasmus (from Painted Lemons) and Rochelle Rossouw (from La-Rochelle Crafts). Man, I just love these two ladies. They are opposite of each other but complement each other so well! Again we had to do math on a Sunday morning. After all the crying and lack of sleep the night before, we had to cut and paste something after measuring it.
We were confused but we managed to get it right. And then of course Anri and her colour mixing came up, to mix flesh coloured water colours! We got it right, with a bit of effort and struggle, but we managed it! The essence of their message? Don’t compare your journey with the person next to you, the battle is normally in our minds.
The retreat was closed off by Thea and her folding again. Just in case we have an empty box of long life milk and needed a wallet of some sort. She showed us what to do, where to cut, place brads (I know them as split pins but the fancy scrapbooking term is brads) and then an elastic or string to close it up. So now we all know (and have forgotten again) how to make a full cream beursie.
We packed up, greeted and parted our ways. Of course I was almost half way home when I thought I had forgotten something. I turned around, rushing back like a mad thing, only to not find it there. Of course I had packed it up and put it in my suitcase without me even realising that I had done this. This just proved to me that not all the thoughts in our minds are from God….but maybe I had to go back to say goodbye a second time, for what ever reason!
Thea closed off the camp with the folding and cutting of a full cream beursie from an empty 1 litre box of long life milk.
It was fun being on the retreat, mom guilt tried to take over but the Holy Spirit showed me that us as woman need to spend time with Him alone too. Without our families. To fill up our cups. To get that intimate relationship with God going so that He can romance us, like Carolien said, filling us up with the truth that the devil tries to destroy with lies.
My prayer will always be that God will bless this ministry of Adorned through Christ to new levels, more, higher, all to the glory of His Name and Kingdom. So that women’s lives can be changed one page at a time. One entry at a time. One day at a time and one camp at a time.
The presentersThe poemThe Greek aka Hebrew wordThe Greek aka Hebrew words of Lord, Woman and ManThe new bible
It is Thursday morning. I woke up with sore muscles in places that I did not know had muscles. The reason? Death by Cross Fit the day before. My word, I did not know that my arms and so many other places can be stiff and sore from a WOD (Work out of the Day). I was sitting proverbially speaking, with my hands in my hair (and sometimes with hair in my hands too).
The entire week, actually the entire month, I have been thinking about this month’s scripture on the desk pad and I am not sure what I want to write about. But as time progresses and it becomes mid-September, I start to relate with the scripture even more than before…
It frequently feels as if I have this anxiety trying to squash my heart and breath from my body. It is 15 September and I am still trying to get through and finalise the admin tasks following the month of August. Why is it taking so long this month? I can just not figure out why it feels like I am held back when it comes to work!
My online shop for Beroepsvrou is faulty too, to top it all off! Suddenly, overnight the WooCommerceplug in (let me now use the fancy lingo so that I sound like some or other clever Trevor while I am busy) is just gone and not installed. HOW this happened is unknown. I do not know.
I experienced a fleeted moment of panic, tears wanting to overwhelm and consume me. My excitement of the past few days is almost stolen by this. It is as if it wants to tell me that I lied over the radio interview that I had. It is impossible for anyone to always look for the positive in everything.
And really, the trials and tribulations that I spoke about, how am I handling that now? Am I still walking around with a song in my heart? Why is my work now even further behind than what it was last week this time? Only 5 business days have passed since then, I am working everyday, feeling like I am running around like a headless chicken, not getting anything accomplished. WHY??????
Then I decide to go and read the scripture for this month again. Philippians 4:6-7 (AMP) Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].
Do not be anxious or worried about anything. Let us start there. Of course I am concerned and worried about time that is ticking by with the speed of white light, while my work pace seems to be that of a snail (not the snail in Turbo and at that speed – a real, genuine-enuine slooooooow snail’s pace it feels). Then on top of that, I am anxious about my online shop. WHY????? What now???? Must I redo everything? Back to my day job – how am I going to get everything submitted by the deadline date of 24 October 2022?
There is so much to do? I MUST exercise, that I am not going to give up for anything in this world. Because I know, if I do not exercise, I am going to lie around on the couch and become a potato so to speak. Then I may as well go and exercise and be productive and do something constructive. Ok God, I think to myself. I am now going to try REALLY HARD not to be anxious about ANYTHING that is bothering me. Done. Ticked off the list.
But in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your requests known to God. Ok, so this tells me that I must talk to God, prayer, something that I am doing, so I think I can tick this off my list. Petition this I am doing ever so often, especially with my crisis with the online shop. Do you have any idea how long it took to set up that shop?????
So I recon that I can tick that off my list too, because in my spirit I am crying. I cannot sit and physically cry, in the first place I am potentially going to look like I don’t know what, with make up smudging.
In the second place I am, in my opinion, only going to waste time by crying. I have things that have to be done, I cannot waste more time with crying. And thirdly, ag I don’t even know why I should not cry, I just know that I should not cry. That leaves me with the last part of the verse – thanksgiving.
I wonder what Paul (it was Paul that wrote the letter to the Philippians right?) meant with this. I think that I must praise God and be thankful that He is going to repair my online shop, that He will let time stand still so that I can get a head with my work and not feel like a failure the whole time. So, THANK YOU God for that which you are going to restore, have restored already and that which you are busy restoring as I am typing this.
And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. After typing away at the preceding paragraphs, it feels like I am feeling less anxious. The supernatural peace I know, I have experienced it A LOT in my life. Especially when I cease to try and do something myself, leaving it for God and His capable hands. Because let us face it – He is our Maker and His hands are more than capable. He is more than capable even if we still try and declare Him incompetent by taking everything onto ourselves.
My heart is feeling more at ease and my mind and heart, (that which springs forth all things in our lives), must also find peace. I must now start to speak as if it has been restored. Ok, I think I get it! Thank you God for the restoration on all levels of things that are bothering me, that things are going to be resolved in the blink of an eye (God you know my deadlines and pressure that I am under and I know that you are going to resolve everything very quickly). I pray this in the Name of Jesus! Amen and Amen!
I decide to move my focus to MY responsibilities. That which I am required to do now. I have someone that can assist with the online shop, hopefully a back up that can be restored or something simplistic like that. But my EDP work (the tax business), there I must move my bumb and work faster. The birds and angels are surely NOT going to do my work for me. I must still carry my weight there and do what I have to do!!
And the peace of God which transcends all understanding….I hear the words echo through my mind. I feel less anxious, in spite of the sore muscles and anxiety that I felt earlier. I know that everything will be resolved quickly! God is good ALWAYS!!
After I finished this entry, (the Afrikaans version), and started to focus on work again, the person that was assisting me with the webpage, let me know that the shop is in a working order. All the data is there. It is unexplainable as to WHY this happened and seems to be something that happens. I leave it at that and thank God for favor that follows me in all my days!
With a lump in my throat, sweat breaking out in strange places and child-like excitement, I got in my car and took the trip to Pretoria. It is Thursday 8 September 2022. I have been invited for an in studio interview at Radio Pulpit in Kilnerpark.
It would have been telephonic and I was comfortable with the idea of a telephonic interview. I reconed that I will be very comfortable in my room and then I must just pray that a Hadeda does not scream right by my bedroom window during the interview.
On short notice the telephonic interview was changed to an in studio interview. Arrangements are made to fetch kids from school (by a wonderful friend who selflessly and instinctively offered to help) and just like that, God let everything fall into place so that I could have this wonderful experience.
I was a bit paranoid that I would say something wrong and that I will clear my throat the whole time. And even more so about WHAT will be asked. Must I prepare? Must I ask them to tell me what they are going to ask me? How does one do this? How does it work?
I decided to rather not ask my hundred and ten questions and just to take it as it comes. All the way to Pretoria, I tried to recall the presenter’s name. I know it starts with a Ch but cannot remember anything else. Perhaps his name is Christo? I wonder by myself.
I was so caught up in my own thoughts, that I did not go slow enough around the bend, past the second tollgate close to Zambezi off ramp. I triggered a speeding camera….
I arrived at the building thinking how convenient it is to have Google Maps on my phone. It took me to the front door. At first I drove around the building and parking area, because I could not find the gate to the parking area. At reception I say that I have an interview with….(and then I search on my phone for the name) Charles. Thank goodness I did not call him Christo!
Charles’ spirit was so open to what God wanted to say through me, this in my opinion, made everything easier and smoother. Like a peanut I asked him for a photo (and I used the word neut in the sentence too, because, let us be honest, the moment is just too big and overwhelming and then we end up using wrong words on top of everything else).
He agreed immediately and we took a photograph together. The receptionist took one from me alone too and she did a good job to capture the moment. In studio Charles (now I must remind myself to type his name correctly) explains how everything works.
He refers to the headphones, I think he called them kanne, but I cannot remember if this was the right word. He explained to me how it works and that I will hear myself over the headphones. I asked him if it was not going to be weird? He answered by saying Yes a little, but also not too much. One gets used to it quickly.
He puts me at ease by telling me that he was also nervous the first few times that he was hosting as a presenter on the radio, so my feelings are quite normal. He offered to take a picture of me in the studio. If it was not for my ears my smile would have gone right around my head.
I was in my element! Charles gave a tip before hand – when greeting I must say Charles and listeners, so that the audience feels included in the interview. The red light goes on and the interview starts. Charles talks about my blog and readers and there my brain goes and grabs a hold onto the word readers rather than listeners.
I was on my nerves and greeted Middag Charles en lesers. In my mind I said listeners. But, none the less, the interview proceeded and the nerves that were gnawing disappeared in the blink of an eye. We talked and laughed and I forgot that I was in a studio.
The time flies by, I felt like talking more and sharing more with everyone about flamingos and why my business cards have flamingos on, why it reads Pink Feathers for God. The interview captured the essence of my blog so beautifully, explaining more what it is all about.
I am still in awe about what God did for me with this radio interview. I did not even KNOW it was something that I really wanted to do. He knew my heart’s desires even before I knew it and thought about it!
Afterward I was so overwhelmed by messages of people close to me. Some joked and said that I am famous. I just laughed, because I am still me. Of course, if I have to do a career change, I will choose radio!! I think I will enjoy chatting with people, day in and day out about their lives and what God has done for them.
Some of my clients also joked and asked if I do not have enough work to keep me busy. While driving home, I could not stop smiling. I even had a conversation with God, talking out loud in the car, saying to Him thank you soooooo much for this!!!!! It was sooooooo nice!!!!!
I want to close off by saying that I know God has big plans for those who love Him and obey Him. That is also all that He wants – obedience and an intimate relationship with Him. Make disciples of the nations. That is our task and the instruction given to us. Where I can, I chat with people about Jesus. Telling them what He has done for me in such a short time. What He is busy doing with Beroepsvrou.
Big things are coming. That I can feel in my spirit.To tell people about Him and why you must have Pink Feathers for God. And if you are still wondering about the Pink Feathers and Flamingos, contact me and then I will come and tell you and others at the same time about it. Why not?
Goeiemiddag Charles en lesers….I can still hear the error echo through my mind. I grin every time I think about it. This is God’s way of keeping us humble. We are not perfect. At least I did not say Christo! That would have been a disaster!!
Charles, I trust that you will be reading this entry. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for putting me at ease in the studio, explaining everything so nicely about what to do! To Radio Pulpit and Jeanine, thank you for the opportunity and privilege to share my story with the listeners (not readers).
Above all I want to thank God. That He fulfilled my heart’s desires that was not yet known to me. I am excited about what the future holds!
Just the other day I was driving in my car. I decided to listen to Spotify via the blue tooth of the car. I felt like listening to a specific song, which I found and started to play.
You see, the first time when I heard this song, which my sister-in-law introduced me to, I thought, jôh, it is a bit of a wild one. But it grows on you. I realise more and more that there is somewhere a techno rocker inside me that wants to break free for a spot in the sun.
As I was sitting in my car, jamming and singing (yes I am one of those people that look weird to other drivers), I thought to myself that this is HOW I feel about Jesus. I really have this urge in me to tell everyone about Him. And which I am pretty much doing.
As the guy sings in the song Lemme Tellya, it is as if he is hammering on Jesus and you cannot help but to sing along JESUS! JESUS! JESUS! Well, this was just a quick feel good post. A little something to listen to and to jam on if the opportunity presents itself.
I relive the words of the song I am closing off this entry, thinking of my head bobbing and jamming moment in the car….Lemme tellya ’bout Him, Jesus is His name. And I’m all about Him, I live to bring Him praise. He is the way and the truth and the life, God is three in one. Reigning undefeated, our God has overcome. Jesus (Jesus) Jesus (Jesus) Jesus (Jesus)…..
First and foremost – is tumbleweed really the right word to use for tolbos? Anyway, it is Monday evening and the whole house is asleep. Fudge the Pekingese is snoring away happily on the bed between us. I hear the sound of the clock in the lounge, silently counting the number of times it rings. I actually know it will be 12. It is midnight. The hamster is having a race to the moon and back on her wheel in the cage in the lounge. I wonder how many watts a hamster generates in their lifetime?
It is officially Tuesday and not Monday anymore. My brain feels like a tumbleweed (yes I do seem to think this is the right word to use), being driven by the wind in a direction. Like something I have no control over. The wind and my thoughts.
I think about what is lying ahead. Provisional tax. How I am going to feel tomorrow, potentially like a worn out rag. All because I missed my little window of sleep (due to an unplanned task landing on my desk, not work related). I missed the opportunity to sleep by I don’t know how many hours.
How many calculations must be done before 31 August 2022? Was it right of me to remove someone from my list because they owe me money for months and I am unable to reach them by all means possible to me? Is my interpretation of a provisional tax payer correct? Am I reading and interpreting the Act correct? What am I going to wear to the event that I was invited as a guest speaker in November?
What must I tell the people??? Who wants to listen to me? I wonder how the Adorned camp is going to be like? Am I going to know anyone there? Am I going to share a room with a stranger? How am I going to submit all the tax returns by 24 October 2022? Why did I choose this job??? This job that makes me want to panic and run around the room, every second day, like Spongebob and Patrick. If you are wondering what I am talking about – go to Whatsapp and under gifs search for Spongebob and Patrick panic and then you can laugh with me with what I am trying to say here.
I AM now both Spongebob AND Patrick. Or can I let my husband be Patrick? He does not look like he has a worry of a day old. I envy him and my daughter that can just fall asleep when they get into bed. Why am I typing this? What am I going to achieve with this? Oh my word, are the 2023 diaries really going to look pretty? What am I trying to say with this entry?
Just like a tumbleweed being blown around by the wind, all my thoughts are tumbling and twisting through my brain. Without control and left at the mercy of the wind. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and try to sleep. But man oh man, it is like sleep is playing a dodge game with me. There is just too much traffic in my brain. Then, out of no where, it is as if God comes to create order in my thoughts.
That which must be said at the event later the year starts to take shape. Of course I am making mental notes, because it was just too cold to get up for a pen and notebook or even start up my laptop to capture the concept.
The uncertainties about how I am going to get everything done is moved to one side. Everything is going to be ok. I am going to finish in time with everything. I must just do my bit. If people do not want to pay, then I am not obliged to render a service. Pick ‘n Pay does not hand out sugar to people who does not want to pay for it. Why should our industry be any different?
I can feel how Tiredness is stalking me. Slowly but surely, on tippy toes and gently so that I do not get a fright that might change my DNA or blood group if I spot Tiredness. With a greatful heart, I snuggle in and pull the duck down duvet up to my nose, turn on my side, greeting Tiredness with open arms.
The Tuesday, as I was getting ready for the day, I find myself humming a song. Psalm 46 (featuring Chelsey Scott) by Bifrost Artists. The chorus stands out to me. Be still….and know… that I… am God. I realise again, that this is what God told me in the wee hours of the morning when sleep was avoiding me….
This entry is written on a lighter note. And actually just a bit of humor on a cold Saturday! This past Monday, I walked through our house, on a mission as always. Dressed and ready to leave to go to Cross Fit.
Somewhere while getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided that the fat roll around my waste, that is making sure that I am exhausted from exercise, is due to all the milky coffees (and rusks) that I consume – more the coffee than the rusks I might add. I really try NOT to consume rusks daily! But with my exercise clothes on I decided it does not look that bad, if I am allowed to like and complement myself.
None the less, I walked to the kitchen to pack my cooler bag with Herbalife products – CR7 for the sore muscles and Protein shake to help repair the microscopic tears caused by exercise. Yes, apparently that is what happens when you exercise. You tear your muscles. So THAT is probably also part of why you feel stiff and sore?
This together with something else that I, for the life of me, cannot remember from matric Biology. Something like anaerobic (I used Google translate for this one so I hope it is right and in context) respiration. Yes, I think this is the term. Where was I? Oh yes, on my way to the kitchen. I walked past my son (13 years of age). We smile at each other and he says: “Mom, you look like a Barbie!”
For an ever so slightly millisecond my heart was pounding proudly in my chest. I thought to myself – the exercising is WORKING!!! It was merely a figment of my imagination that I have a little fat roll from too much coffee and rusks!!! And just as quickly as what that moment appeared it dissappeared again. Going up in smoke so to speak. Poof just like that.
Like a balloon that briefly touched a thorn – that is how this moment was shattered. My son continues, he says “Mom, the stuff on your eyes makes you look like a Barbie! What is that on your eyes?” Oh my WORD!!!!! it was my MAKE UP all the time that made him think of a Barbie and literally NOTHING ELSE!!! I had an appointment with a client that day and put more make up on than what I normally do.
So now you know how I experienced a Barbie moment. Was nice while it lasted but I recon I must work a bit more by doing more core exercises, hopefully that will work away the coffee and rusks displayed around my waist. A six pack seems too much to try and achieve, because it starts in the kitchen they say. And I love lekker food too much to get a Barbie body with a six pack.
I know in real life, the proportions of a Barbie is not like that of the toy doll, (they are way off apparently) but that is not what I am looking at here when I think of a Barbie…I think of all the clothes that just fit when worn and of course, the perfect make up that goes with it. And the hair. Do not forget the hair!
While I am sitting here, typing away at this entry, I feel like everything in my life has been blown out of order and it almost feels as if the August winds of a few days ago has something to do with it. For those who do not know – August is also a busy month work wise. Less hectic than February, but also a peak time with loads of things that have to be completed with limited time available in the day.Speed dating for taxes time again.
The pages on my deskpad are getting less and less. There are only 4 left and if I blink my eyes again, I am going to tear off the page for August too. Then there are only 3 months left in this year. WHERE DID THE TIME GO TO???? Where did 2022 dissappear to? In my mind I am still caught up somewhere in March.
None the less, the page for August is full of notes with additional maths classes and times, exercise times for me, exercise times for the kids at school and then a mountain of notes on the side of the page, competing with the beauty of the flamingos in the background.
Yet again I am not surprised about this month’s scripture. It is so applicable and appropriate, as was every other month’s scripture. You see, when I chose 12 verses last year, I literally chose 12 verses that stood out to me, and in the order I received them I allocated them to the months of the year. There is NO WAY that I would have known how this month’s scripture would be seen as pertinent and applicable to me and where I am now.
What a BIG WORD! Pertinent. There I am getting side tracked again. Something that I feel happens too often these days. Almost like Dory in Finding Nemo. I am busy working on something, searching for a document on our network, then I remember about an e-mail I was supposed to send to a client. Then I send the e-mail and then I forget what I was busy with in the first place!
When I thought about the scripture this morning and what I want to write about, I only got the words Life Guard. It was in English and for my Afrikaans version I had to think carefully what the Afrikaans word is for Life Guard. It is very interesting how God sometimes reveals things only in English to me and other times only in Afrikaans. Back to the scripture.
I remember the first time I read this scripture. Somebody sent me a picture. It was a little girl with arms full of flowers (a cartoon image) and it read something in the lines of God will help you. Something like that.
When I read it in the Bible (I reverted to the Afrikaans version), I realised what a powerful scripture this is and how the picture almost dumbed it down too much, if I can state it like that. You see, at that time in my life, I had to present Financial Statements to a company and discuss it with them. A company that had a turnover of more than 1 BILLION RAND. I had to Google how many zero’s a Billion had (it is 9 just by the way), because I have never worked with that sized numbers in our business.
I even purchased a dress or two for these meetings (there were a few), because I felt I had to look the part and my clothes would not be able to compete with the turnover (sales if you are wondering what turnover is). I cannot arrive in my denim and sneakers like I dress most days when I work from home. None the less, the scripture just still stands out to me. Especially the part that says (in the Afrikaans version only) do not look around anxiously (kyk nie angstig rond nie). It makes me think of Peter who did not focus on Jesus and allowed the waves around him to loose focus and disabled him to walk on water.
And of course, when I think of waves, I think about what I wrote in June 2021 (or was it May?). About how I felt as if the waves of anxiety were trying to consume me. It still feels this way at times with a new routine with the kids, together with changes in work circumstances, other things and circumstances in our lives and all of that, added together, equals a moment of anxiety or three every two minutes and then it lasts the whole day it feels.
A month or two ago, I heard a new song on Spotify. Things that I’m afraid of by Ross King and Josh Wilson. I do not know who sang the song first (almost like what was first – the chicken or the egg?), and I like both versions. In the song he sings that the things that he is afraid of, fears God too.
That made me think. Because I NEVER thought of it like that. Sometimes we sit with so much fear bottled up inside of us, that we forget where fear comes from (it is not from God just by the by) and that which we fear, fears the Name of Jesus even more.
As I see the waves of everyday life around me, I try to stay focussed on Jesus. It is hard at times. Sometimes I fail myself when I get dispaired about so many things. Getting negative and not counting my words when I speak. Getting angry about circumstances in my life. Frustrations about things in my life that are not within my control. Many times the frustrations are about non-work related things.
And then, just as I feel the horison is rising, because I am not on top of the water anymore, the righteous right hand of the Life Guard reaches out to me, picking me up from the chaos. That which I fear has a bigger fear for the Life Guard. THAT is something that I must always remember. The things that I’m afraid of are afraid of you….I hear the words of the song wandering through my thoughts and mind….
Navy court shoes, silver grey stockings. If you have to ask me what I remember about my school clothes, then it is probably that. I walk through reception, probably the first time in 24 years in daylight, on a week day, at the school where I matriculated. Goudrif High School. I notice the school emblem against the wall with the slogan (is this the right word for leuse as we call it in Afrikaans?) Roepingsbewus and I suddenly wonder if it was always there. I recon that I did not visit this part of the school enough to actually remember.
Elsabé Lartz meets up with me just as I exit the ladies room – the one for staff and teachers only, prohibited for use by kids. This is now part of the area that I am allowed to move around in. Strangely enough, I am convinced that this ladies room was bigger than what it appears now. We walk to my car to take out the things I brought with. She asks me a few questions – what year I matriculated, what my maiden name was, do I have kids. Mrs. Lartz will be at this school for 20 years in 2022. We missed each other in the school passages by 4 years.
She tells me that I probably still remember where the school hall is, letting me walk ahead of her. The moment I walked into the hall, it was as if 24 years disappeared. The shy, uncertain matriculant is back for a moment. A flood of memories flash through my mind. I recall the night we were announced as Prefects in grade 11, how we practiced for hours and hours for the Revue in that same hall.
The stage stands proud with stairs and various platforms, ready for a Revue to take place on it. The hall still smells the same. Is it not amazing how smells can take you back in time? I can still relive the layout of the tables while writing the various exams in matric – probably all the exams for that year were written there? I cannot remember. I only remember the one around August / September and then the finals in October / November.
She asks me how it feels to be back at the school. My answer was one word – Weird. I stand opposite the Head Girls nameboard against the wall. I take a picture for my sister who was Head Girl in 1994. A while later, the sound team come in to set up a microphone for me (one which I decided not to make use of). One of the boys asks me if I have music that I want to play. I have this dumbstruck look on my face – that is certainly something that I DID NOT think of. Music and a slideshow. “Maybe next time” I answer them.
The bell rings for a break, the kids enter the hall. More than what I had expected. Mrs. Lartz said that she asked her grade 12’s to invite other kids that are not Consumer Study students. I hope I have the translation right here! I can never remember the English for Verbruikerstudies.
This time round my nerves are gnawing at me, a bit more than usual. It feels like I will be judged by the young hopeful kids in front of me, about where they are now and where they will be one day, measured by me and what I say to them and how I am presented to them. I know this is not true and push through the gnawing to deliver my message.
I even sing a song for them, one that I remember from church as a child. “Weet jy nie, weet jy nie, jy’s ‘n tempel? Vol van lof, vol van krag, vol van vreugde” hand movements and all. For the life of me, I do not know the English version of this song, so I am not even going to TRY to translate that one. A few looked at me as if I am Crazy Daisy, others giggled because they knew exactly what I was talking about.
They were, by far, my most interactive audience to date (not that I have done this a 100 times before – this is the fourth school that I have visited). When I asked the question – “Who of you knew that Flamingos are not born pink?” the hands shot up into the air, answering the question that was asked.
Seed was sown, that I know. One girl, who appeared to be in tears, came to thank me for the beautiful message. Absolutely a Holy Spirit inspired moment and all the glory be to God, not to me. Another girl’s spirit was so open and receptive, I spotted her a mile away and told her that too.
Those who chose to take a picture with me for Facebook and Instagram, looked more than chuffed with their aprons. When I look at the photo, I can see the laughter and giggles of the kids. I can feel and see the energy, remembering how it was being 17 or 18 years of age. In a way I miss that, but I am also grateful that I have moved on and am where I am in my life.
The more things change the more they stay the same. This I saw that day again. I wonder how many people have walked through those passages and classes? How many have matriculated there? It feels like an impossible calculation to do. 24 years have flown by in an instant. In the blink of an eye.
I realised again that being a Teacher must be one of THE most difficult jobs under this sun. To teach children from different backgrounds, domestic circumstances, cultures, habits and who knows what else, so that they UNDERSTAND and are able to write exams and pass, is most certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone is made for that, I am certainly one of them who is NOT made to be a Teacher!
My prayer is that each student, not only the Consumer Studies students, got a little something that day. That God will water it on the right time so that the trees will grow to produce His fruit, reflecting Pink Feathers for Him.
My mind wanders back to the slogan. Roepingsbewus. I chew on this for a while. What does it really mean? I use Google translate to get the English word. Vocation Conscious I see on my screen. I think to myself, WHAT does Vocation mean? I do not think I have even heard of this word before!!
Yes you guessed it, I Googled the word Vocation too. The meaning? A strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation. WOW!!! This revelation seems even better than the Afrikaans version that I wrote. But it comes down to the same thing. It means to be CONSCIOUS of your CALLING (and in worldly terms career and jobs) that God has called you for.
How interesting is this? The slogan and message that was portrayed comes down to the same thing. God is TRULY AMAZING!!!!!! May everyone that go through those school passages, live that slogan in this world that we find ourselves in.
In my mind I can hear the tune of the school anthem, as I remember it. The words that I am singing in my mind are most certainly wrong, but I am singing it to myself and I know I will remain ROEPINGSBEWUS (or VOCATION CONSCIOUS as I have learnt it is translated into English). Without realising it and making a conscious effort in my life after school, I feel that I have been living this slogan in my life.
Die Jirre lief jou!! Finish & klaar! I read the message on the bottle, jampacked with bran muffins… I cannot help but stare at the paper roses (my favorite flower just so by the way). The one is made from a page from an old storybook which gives it a vintage type look.
I try to get a muffin out of the bottle without it breaking into a million pieces, they are so fresh they are falling apart! Muffins made especially for me by a group of very special students. Children with other needs that we are (or rather I am) used to. Children who also want to claim their place under the sun.
Children of worried parents, wondering if they will survive one day when they (the parents) are not on earth anymore. Children of concerned parents that wonder if they will be able to generate their own income when the breadwinner/s will no longer be able to do so. I walk with someone, with the same first name as what I have, Elsie van Staden (together I refer to us as Elsie to the power of 2 as they refer to it in Mathematical language) through the halls of Oom Paul School in Rustenburg.
We walk past two kids, I hear the one ask the other one “Is that a new teacher?” and I assume that they are referring to me. I grin to myself and think “Noooooooo boy, you do not understand, this lady is not cut out to be a teacher.” It takes SUPER special people to be teachers in my opinion. And I feel like a failure daily when I cannot be patient with my own kids, especially after a long day’s work struggling with slow on-line systems.
Back to the school halls. For those of you who may not know, Oom Paul School is a School of Skills for learners that are referred to them from Main Stream schools. Gold fish that cannot climb trees like the Curriculum expects them to do. They are then placed in the proverbial goldfish pond at Oom Paul School, where they are nurtured, taught and educated at their level. The stream in the main stream is just TOO strong for them and they get lost in the system.
But Oom Paul School is even more different, because they offer Hairdressing AND Food Production, together with other subjects like Science, Social Studies, and so forth. Students who have had to endure disappointment upon disappointment in a Main stream school are accepted here with open arms. Skills are thought to them. How to work PRACTICAL with your hands. Something that I feel is lacking these days. To be trained in a Trade.
These days it seems that everyone is stuck behind a laptop for more than 8 hours a day (myself included), busy doing their work and that while the Trade does not have as many people like in the past (this is my perception, I did not compare it with statistics of some sorts and I may be wrong here). People cannot do practical and physical things it seems, things that this world actually still needs, in spite of where we are when it comes to technology. I know, for the life of me I CANNOT do sewing, let alone to be able to make something fancy in the kitchen.
None the less. God granted me the opportunity on Tuesday 26 July 2022, to serve a small group of students, with His word and knowledge, that He is systematically giving to me and revealing to me about Flamingos. The whole thing that the Blog and Beroepsvrou is about. Pink Feathers for God.
I only realised later, as I sat to make the entry, that my nerves that normally bothers me before a day such as this (like a rodent gnawing away at something), was not even in the close vicinity. I did not have doubts for one second about anything! As I was talking to the children and later the staff too, I quoted scriptures from the Bible. Not the exact words, but scriptures that I feel God is linking to flamingos, interpreted and portrayed in my own words to keep it as simple as possible and to not let it feel like a church sermon.
I later realized that I referred to David and Psalms while I was talking about the scripture to watch over your heart and guarding your heart, when it was supposed to be Solomon and Proverbs. An honest mistake and I trust God understood and everyone heard what they were supposed to hear.
Just a little something extra to add onto the aprons, and I probably have mentioned and said this before, but, when the kids put on the aprons, they are also doing a prophetic action to cover themselves with the breastplate of righteousness. To guard their hearts as Solomon said. Don’t get me wrong – there is NO POWER in the aprons, this is what God revealed to me the deeper meaning of the aprons is.
It takes Flamingos approximately 2 years to turn pink from what they eat, and they only stay pink if they eat the right nutrients…..it is the same with us as Christians. You must constantly take in the right things so that you can have Pink Feathers for God.
I am also certain that the scripture from 1 Thessalonians 5:21 where Paul wrote and said But test all things carefully [so you can recognize what is good] – is like the flamingos, when they filter their food (because they are filter feeders) – they excrete that which is bad and only take in that which is good for them.
Oom Paul School is unique and one of a kind. From Potchefstroom to Wolmaransstad, between Klerksdorp and Brits there is only one fishpond available for all the gold fish that just cannot climb a tree, and that is Oom Paul School. There is a similar school in Krugersdorp and two in Pretoria. That is is as far as I know and have been told.
Unique and one of a kind. Patient and kind is how I would describe the Teachers at Oom Paul School. It takes a super special person to be a Teacher and an Angel to teach kids skills at a place like this.
It seems to me that there is a little piece of heaven on earth, a place where children can be planted to grow so that they can also reach their potential, claiming their spot under the sun. Giving peace of mind to parents that their children will be able to learn something and to know that they will be able to survive one day, when they as parents are not able to look after their children any more. That place is Oom Paul School.
When I initially started this entry, I thought by myself that it is actually artificial (is that the right word to use here? Or is superficial a better word….?) to write about something like this. It is almost like my entry about the centimeters that I had lost, that can be seen as superficial. Though someone told me that the particular entry that I wrote just motivated her to push through with something else….so then it cannot be THAT superficial, can it…?
With the sky covered with clouds, raining ever so lightly, at Magalies Park holiday resort (where we are currently finding ourselves), I reckoned that this is a good place to get the fire burning in the fireplace, to snuggle under a blanket, taking on (and finishing) this entry that I have had doubts about.
As I was showering the other day, I thought about so many things, this entry as well as the one about the unplanned weight loss. I feel a movement in my spirit and the word transformation is all that I can think of.
I realise that the Holy Spirit is showing me that which I had written about, is actually part of a transformation process, to change me Elsie Potgieter. From a normal letter in a document that just flows with the rest to a Capital Bold letter, one that stands out above the rest and is more noticeable.
The point I am trying to make is that I feel that God is busy with a transformation in and through me and of course that is going to manifest in the flesh (in a good way, not the bad manifestation that we normally link to the word manifest).
You see, the world that we live in is a fast paced, fast moving place these days. Almost everything happens on social media. There are so many platforms available that people actually feel overwhelmed by everything and don’t even always know what to look at that is meaningful.
As you may know, I attended a Masterclass hosted by Alétte Winckler in April. During this presentation, she gave a lot of stats about things. How long it takes to create an impression, that woman actually dress to impress other woman rather than their husbands – purely because we live in this very competitive space.
Mrs. So and So MUST be thinner than the one next to her, must have better, prettier hair, make up, clothes, you name it, it must be better. And let me tell you, if Mrs. This and That is not feeling up to her standards and because she fetched her kids from school in her slippers, she does not hesitate to comment and discuss someone else that is dressed better than her on that day that she chose to not put her make up on or even shoes for that matter!
Back to the point that I want to make. The transformation is busy happening. I did not get up one day and decided that by a certain date in 2022 I have to loose this amount of centimeters. And by that date in 2020 I was supposed to have this, that and the next done to transform on the outside.
No, it is almost likemy one teacher at school said – every day’s little bit every single day. Bit by bit God is busy stretching me, moving me out of my comfort zone so that I can do His work that He has called me for.
If you do not risk it, you will not win it. I don’t know if this makes sense, in Afrikaans we say Wie nie waag nie sal nie wen nie. My previous sentence was just a direct translation but I am sure you catch my drift here. Sometimes we have to move out of the little block we have placed ourselves in. You know – out of your comfort zone. It starts with something simplistic as changing your hair, that gives you just that little bit of confidence that is needed.
My blog articles that I write, has a purpose and that purpose is to motivate others and to build them up. We are all caught up in this rat race. The balance I feel is just not there! Between work, kids, exercising, preparing meals, eating healthy and everything in between, leaves very little room to truly spend time with God.
Yet the time with Him is so much more important than all our earthly and fleshly needs. Many people that read my entries are working mothers. Full time in a very demanding line of work. Time to exercise is non-existent! Let alone eating healthier AND spending time with God! Not even touching on all the other things we have to spend time on, demands that must be met!
My prayer stays the same – that which I write about will encourage people, letting them know you are not alone. We are all in the same space. We have to MAKE time! I feel if I can do it, then anyone can! It makes me think of a song written by Josh Wilson – That was then, this is now. We all were somewhere and over time we have changed, (hopefully) moving closer to God in the process.
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