Author: Elsie Potgieter

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The last honour

Language purist. Tennis fanatic. Entrepreneur. Friendly. These are all characteristics of Eugene Smith. Today was the last opportunity to honour his life, a big legend that went home to our Heavenly Father. The day was gorgeous and could not be more perfect. Bright sunshine with clear blue skies. The birds singing and everything else on earth going on as normal, even if he is no longer with us.

I met Uncle Eugene through his daughter Nadine. He was one of my clients. I did not see him on a monthly basis, but we had telephonic conversations intermittently, throughout the year and I saw him and Aunty Ria at least once a year to discuss business, signing off financials and minutes and so forth.

He was always eager to chat, telling a story from his younger days. In the finest detail he would describe how he worked out the measurements for signage for his businesses. So many times, he told me that I must enjoy it being 40. The time goes so fast and 40 is actually a really nice time on one’s life. He always said In die Haak (here I cannot translate to English because what would I say? Sharp?) when we had a discussion about something and had to make a decision about something that we had to finalise. He always had a smile on his face, and I am sure if he had a theme song for his life, it would be something to the effect of a very old Afrikaans song called Ek is lief vir die wêreld sung by Groep Twee.

The family’s request, for those attending the funeral, was to wear white or colourful clothes. Not black. My husband and I chatted when I saw the request on Facebook. We understand that it is actually more appropriate than black, because it is a celebration of his life on earth that is going to take place. For sure it is not easy for those left behind, but we must all be elated with joy that he is with Jesus now, a much better place! The service was led by Aunty Ria’s eldest brother. My thoughts wander back to my own mother’s funeral.

I was not focussed on what was being said the whole time, because I am thinking back about how it felt for me on that day. The day when I was right in front of the church, next to my sisters and father. It feels like a blur, I cannot remember it in much detail. It also feels like 100 years ago, even if it was only a mere 6 years ago. My thoughts come back to the here and now. I listen attentively to tributes that are being told by those who knew him well. The core of everyone’s messages was how he touched their lives and the same characteristics that he portrayed came through in the messages. What a big personality he had, in spite of chronic pain that he constantly had and never showed. How he overcame all his challenges in life. With a song in his heart and a smile on his face.

I remember how Aunty Ria once told me that Uncle Eugene is very set on speaking pure Afrikaans. It almost made me more aware about the way that I talked. He always ended telephonic conversations with Totsiens while I said Bye on my side. I cannot help but think that the English that comes through in my language is linked directly to my work (I work in English every day, the whole day, even if the clients are Afrikaans, all calculations and returns are done in English). Of course, my mother was also English, so I think that also adds to the reason why I say Bye at the end of a conversation rather than Totsiens. To join in with Uncle Eugene’s humour, I added a meaning of an Afrikaans word in the gallery of this entry, I am sure he would have enjoyed this!

Back to the day, I listen attentively to what everyone said. How he made a big impact at the PNA, with plans and dreams for the group. How his daughter elaborated about how he ran with her, helping her to achieve a 21 km run in less than 2 hours. How he supported and motivated her. How he made Aunty Ria run the Comrades, after she made a joke saying that is something that she wants to do. The memories just go on and on. In the process, I learnt more about Uncle Eugene, even if he is no longer on earth.

After the service, I chat with Nadine. We both get teary eyed. I search frantically for a tissue in my handbag. Nadine stops me, opening up the zipper of her handbag that she was wearing across her chest saying I must take one. I look down and cannot help to burst out in laughter. It is jam packed with tissues. Not a wallet or cell phone in sight. Her son asked her if she is packing tissues for everyone that is attending the service, only for her to answer him that it is actually just for her. I think Uncle Eugene would have laughed at this handbag full of tissues!

Aunty Ria, Nadine, Justin and family – my heart is shattered with you about someone that is no longer here, living such a full life, an inspiration for so many people. I will always remember his laughter, how we could laugh and share jokes. You are so blessed to be able to call him husband, father and grandfather! May his legend live on through those left behind. He leaves a big legacy behind, something we can look up to; remember and learn from. Now that I think about it, he lived the PNA slogan in his life. Colour your world. That is what he did with every person whose life he touched – he came to colour it, enriching it. Uncle Eugene, you are missed by many people on earth, but we know that you are now in a much better place. Rest in Peace.

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‘n Laaste eerbetoning

Taalpuris. Tennis fanatikus. Entrepreneur. Vriendelik. Hierdie is alles eienskappe van Eugene Smith. Vandag was die laaste geleentheid om eer te betoon aan ‘n groot legende wat huis toe gegaan het na ons Hemelse Vader toe. ‘n Mooier dag kon dit nie wees nie. Helder sonskyn, blou lug. Die voëltjies wat sing en alles wat hier op aarde aangaan soos normaal, dit alles terwyl hy nie meer hier is nie.

Oom Eugene het ek leer ken deur sy dogter Nadine. Hy was een van my kliënte. Ek het hom nie maandeliks gesien nie, maar ons het gereeld oor die foon gesels en ek het ten minste een maal per jaar vir hom en tannie Ria gesien om besigheid te praat, state en notules af te teken en so meer.

Hy was altyd gretig om ‘n staaltjie uit sy jong dae te vertel. In die fynste detail te beskryf hoe hy die afmetings doen vir naamborde van sy besighede (ek moes signage gaan Google vir die Afrikaanse weergawe – want ek voel hierdie inskrywing moet so na as moontlik wees aan hoe oom Eugene gepraat het). So baie keer het hy vir my gesê dat ek dit moet geniet om 40 te wees. Die tyd gaan so vinnig en 40 is eintlik ‘n lekker tyd in ‘n mens se lewe. Hy het altyd gesê In die Haak as ons oor iets gesels het en iets moes besluit om te finaliseer. Hy het altyd geglimlag en ek is seker as hy ‘n tema lied vir sy lewe gehad het sou dit iets in die lyn van Ek is lief vir die wêreld gesing deur Groep Twee (‘n baaaaaie ou liedjie ek weet) gewees het.

Die familie se versoek, vir diegene wat die roudiens bywoon, was om wit of vrolike, helder kleure aan te trek. Nie swart nie. Ek en my man gesels toe ek die versoek sien op Facebook. Ons verstaan dat dit eintlik van pas is, want ‘n viering van sy lewe hier op aarde gaan gebeur. Dit is vir seker swaar vir die wat agterbly, maar eintlik moet ons saam bly wees dat hy nou by Jesus is, op ‘n baie beter plek! Die diens word gelei deur tannie Ria se oudste broer. My eie gedagtes dwaal terug na my ma se roudiens.

Ek fokus nie die heeltyd op wat gesê word nie want ek dink terug aan hoe dit gevoel het op daardie dag vir my. Toe ék heel voor in die kerk gesit het, langs my sussies en my pa. Dit voel soos ‘n blur, ek kan nie lekker onthou nie. Dit voel ook soos 100 jaar gelede, al was dit net 6 jaar terug. My gedagtes keer terug na die hier en nou. Ons luister na huldeblyke wat oorgedra word. Die kern van almal se boodskap was hoe hy hul lewens aangeraak het en karakter eienskappe wat ooreenstem, kom deur. Watter groot persoonlikheid hy gehad het, ten spyte van chroniese pyn wat hy nooit gewys het nie. Hoe hy al sy uitdagings in die lewe oorkom en oorbrug het. Met ‘n lied in sy hart en ‘n glimlag op sy gesig.

Ek onthou hoe tannie Ria eenkeer vir my genoem het dat oom Eugene erg is oor suiwer Afrikaans. Dit het my amper meer bewus begin maak van hoe ek praat. Hy het altyd die telefoniese gesprekke afgelei met Totsiens terwyl ek ‘n Bye sê aan my kant. Ek kan nie help om te dink dat my Engels wat deurkom maar eintlik gekoppel is aan my werk nie (ek werk elke dag heeldag in Engels, al is die kliënte Afrikaans, word opgawes en berekeninge in Engels gedoen). Natuurlik was my ma ook Engels gewees, so ek dink dit dra ook by oor hoekom ek Bye sê aan die einde van ‘n gesprek eerder as Totsiens. Om by oom Eugene se sin vir humor aan te sluit, laai ek ‘n woord se betekenis op in die gallery van die inskrywing, ek is seker hy sou dit geniet het!

Terug by die dag, luister ek aandagtig na wat almal gesê het. Hoe hy ‘n groot impak by PNA gemaak het, met planne en drome vir die groep. Hoe sy dogter uitbrei oor hoe hy saam met haar gehardloop het om 21 km in minder as 2 ure te hardloop. Haar ondersteun het, motiveer het. Hoe hy vir tannie Ria die Comrades laat hardloop het, na sy spottenderwys gesê het dat dit iets is wat sy graag wou doen. So gaan die herinneringe aan en aan. In die proses, leer ek nog meer van oom Eugene, al is hy nie meer hier op aarde nie.

Na die tyd gaan gesels ek met Nadine. Ons albei raak tranerig. Ek soek verward vir ‘n snesie in my handsak. Nadine stop my, maak die ritssluiter van haar handsakkie wat sy skuins oor haar skouer dra oop en sê ek moet een neem. Ek kyk af en kon nie help om uit te bars van die lag nie. Dit is propvol tissues gepak. Nie ‘n beursie of selfoon in sig nie. Haar seuntjie het gevra of sy snesies pak vir almal wat die diens gaan bywoon, net vir haar om te antwoord dat dit eintlik net vir haar is. Ek dink oom Eugene sou so lekker gelag het vir hierdie handsak vol snesies!

Tannie Ria, Nadine, Justin en familie – my hart is saam met julle stukkend oor sy afsterwe, iemand wat so ‘n vol lewe gelei het, so ‘n inspirasie was vir so baie mense. Ek sal sy laggie altyd onthou, ons kon lekker lag en grappies deel. Hy los ‘n leemte in baie mense se lewens. Julle is bevoorreg om hom man, pa en oupa te kon noem! Mag sy legende voortleef deur die wat agterbly. Hy laat ‘n groot nalatenskap na, iets waarna ons kan opkyk, onthou en uit leer. Noudat ek daaraan dink, het hy eintlik PNA se slagspreuk en leuse uitgeleef. Colour your world. Dis wat hy gedoen het met elke persoon wie se lewe hy aangeraak het – hy het dit kom inkleur en verryk. Oom Eugene, oom word gemis deur baie mense op aarde, maar ons weet dat oom nou op ‘n baie beter plek is. Rus in Vrede.

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Trust

The whole time while I am working, I am thinking about this month’s scripture. A tough one I think to understand fully without taking offence so to speak from what God is trying to tell us here. But in the same breath, I want to say it is actually very simple.

Well, as I have said many times before, February is our busiest month, which means I work longer hours than usual to get everything that is required to be done, done and submitted on time. It is nothing new to me. I just feel sorry for my kids, because time with them is few and far between at the beginning of a year. Time to write feels even less. I decided, unofficially, the other day, that the first term of the year is just busy and NOTHING that I try to do about this, is going to change that fact.

Unless I do a career change of course, but, who wants to, at almost 42, take on something new and start from scratch? Ok, I admit, I DID start something new with Beroepsvrou, but not to replace my day job. Ok, back to the realities of being BUSY at work. Now, for us it is really very busy. It is financial year end for majority of our clients. There are important calculations that need to be done before 28 (or 29) February. Of course, the extra day in a leap year helps, only if it falls on a weekday though. None the less, we have 28 days available for 3 out of 4 years to do these tasks.

This scripture makes me think of what we do for a living, day in and day out and what we have stumbled across in our lives. People that are not always honest, not declaring everything. Potential new clients with ridiculous requests, that we stop in the first meeting, only to never hear of them again. We stand for righteousness. Tax must be paid, if you like it or not. I know I am wandering off, but I am trying to put everything into perspective about how things are in my life, what the expectations are and what the legal implications of everything is.

Back to the scripture. It can also be taken back to the smallest thing that you are dishonest about. I worked at a firm, years ago, where a senior staff member explained it to me once about how a timesheet works. His words were something to the effect of: When you work at Pick n Pay, and you steal sugar, you are stealing. When you work here, and you steal time, doing private things when you should be working, you are also stealing. I will NEVER forget this. Such a good example about what an employee is trusted with. Actually anyone doing work, whether for yourself or an employer. Theft is not restricted to physical items, but can also go to something like time – time billed on timesheets, invoices issued. The list of things feels endless.

Now I can sit here for days talking and debating about what is big and small and what one can be dishonest about. The long and the short is, if you do something private for 15 minutes, and you are actually stealing your employer or the client’s time for whom you are doing the tasks, or if you take one teaspoon of sugar from the canteen, well, it remains theft. I reckon that is what THIS verse is about. Now that we are caught up in financial year end, the following also comes up with me – what is really declared on returns? Are people truly honest about EVERYTHING in their lives?

If you can be dishonest about something small, then you can easily be dishonest with bigger things. This is the exhortation (I had to Google this word the English version of vermaan in Afrikaans – I have NEVER heard of it before) from God. Then, there is the proverbial tap on the shoulder in the first part of the verse – if you can be honest with small things, then you can be trusted with many bigger things. What image are you portraying to the world? People’s reputations usually go ahead of them. What is your reputation? Honest or dishonest?

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Vertrou

Die heeltyd terwyl ek werk, dink ek na oor die maand se skrifvers. ‘n Taai een dink ek om eintlik behoorlik te verstaan sonder om offence te vat van wat die Here hier vir ons probeer sê. Maar in dieselfde asem, wil ek eintlik sê is dit heel eenvoudig.

Nou ja, Februarie is ons besigste maand, wat noodwendig beteken dat ek langer ure as normaal werk net om alles wat vereis word gedoen te kry. Dis niks nuuts vir my nie. Ek kry net my kinders jammer, want tyd saam met hulle is maar min so aan die begin van die jaar. Tyd vir skryf, voel vir my, is ook nog minder. Ek het eintlik, nie-amptelik, die ander dag besluit dat die eerste kwartaal van ‘n nuwe jaar besig is, en NIKS wat ek omtrent dit eers probeer doen gaan daardie feit verander nie.

Tensy ek my beroep verander natuurlik, maar, wie wil nou op amper 42 iets heeltemal nuuts aanpak en van voor af begin? Ok, ek erken, ek HET iets nuuts begin met Beroepsvrou, maar nie om my day job te vervang nie. Goed, terug by realiteite van BESIG wees met werk. Nou dit is vir ons so verskriklik besig, want dis finansiële jaareinde vir meerderheid van ons kliënte. Dus is daar belangrike berekeninge wat gedoen moet word en ingedien moet word voor 28 (of 29) Februarie. Natuurlik help die ekstra dag in skrikkeljaar – slegs as dit op ‘n werksdag val. Maar nie te min, dis 3 uit 4 jare net 28 dae wat ons het om hierdie te kan doen.

Die skrifvers laat my dink aan wat ons elke dag van ons lewe doen, wat ons al teë gekom het in ons lewens. Mense wat nie altyd eerlik is nie, nie alles verklaar nie. Potensiële nuwe kliënte met belaglike vereistes, wat ons sommer in die eerste vergadering in die kiem smoor en dan hoor ons net nooit weer van hulle nie. Ons staan vir reg en geregtigheid. Belasting moet betaal word, of jy nou daarvan hou of nie. Ek weet ek dwaal af, maar, ek probeer net alles in perspektief plaas van hoe dit gaan in my lewe, waarmee ek werk, wat daar verwag word en wat die wetlike aspek van alles is.

Maar terug by die vers. Dit kan ook terug getrek word na die kleinste dingetjie waarin jy oneerlik kan wees en oorkom. Ek het destyds by ‘n firma gewerk, waar die een senior personneellid eenkeer vir my verduidelik het oor hoe ‘n tydstaat werk. Sy woorde, in Engels, was iets in die lyn van die volgende: When you work at Pick n Pay, and you steal sugar, you are stealing. When you work here, and you steal time, doing private things when you should be working, you are also stealing. Ek sal dit in my lewe NOOIT vergeet nie. So ‘n goeie vergelyking van waarmee ‘n werknemer en werkgewer wat tyd verkoop, vertrou word. Diefstal is nie beperk tot fisiese items nie, maar tyd ook – tyd wat geboek word, fakture wat uitgereik word. Die lys voel, soos altyd, eindeloos.

Nou ek kan vir dae hier sit en redeneer oor alles wat groot en klein is, waaroor mens oneerlik kan wees. Die lang en die kort is, as jy 15 minute iets privaat doen, en eintlik maar net jou werkgewer of kliënt se tyd waarvoor jy vergoed word, steel; of jy steel een teelepel se suiker by die kantien, bly dit steel. En ek reken DIS waaroor hierdie versie gaan. Noudat ons so vasgevang is in finansiële jaareinde, kom die ook by my op – wat word werklik verklaar op opgawes? Is mense werklik getrou en eerlik oor ALLES in hul lewens?

As jy oor ietsie kleins oneerlik is, dan kan jy maklik oor baie goed oneerlik wees. Dis die vermaning van God af. Dan, is die spreekwoordelike klop op die skouer, die eerste deel van die vers – as jy oor ietsie kleins eerlik is en mee vertrou kan word, dan kan jy oor baie goed eerlik wees en mee vertrou word. Watter beeld straal jy uit vir die wêreld? Mens se reputasie loop hulle gewoonlik vooruit. Wat is jou reputasie? Eerlik of oneerlik?

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The Joy

The distinct smell of Creosote (I had to google this spelling) always takes me back to my childhood. Why? You may ask. Growing up with a Wendy Hut in the back yard, converted into a Craft Room, the wood of the wendy was treated with Creosote. I was exposed to crafting at a young age. I will always associate that smell to crafting.

I grew up, having a mother who always did something creative, teaching her three girls to escape from the real world through crafting. I am guessing that is why she crafted, because that is why I craft. To me, crafting does not have rules. It has rules, but it is not like my day job you know? If you make a mistake, you repaint it or start over again, or you wing it and see where the project goes and what it lands up looking like.

With my day job it is not that simple, and I feel obliged to do things perfectly and correctly the first time round. At this point in writing this article, I do want to point out that now is the time to switch on the kettle and make yourself a nice cup of coffee (or tea) before continuing.

You see, I cannot break this article up into smaller chapters as I will lose the essence of what I feel is being pressed on my heart to say. February is a busy month. Probably my least favourite month of the year, if one is allowed to have a least favourite month.

For many reasons I am not a Feb Fan. One of the biggest reasons, is the fact that I am always exhausted by the time it is my daughter’s birthday on the 7th. Yes I know, it is only the beginning of the month, but I know what lies ahead, I know the hours I am required to work, I just know what is waiting for me work wise. My little EMP201 (for those who don’t know – it is one of the many tax returns due on the 7th of each month) is such an enthusiast when it comes to her birthday.

I feel guilty that I cannot always share her excitement with her. Even more so, that I only had until around the 14th of February in 2014, the year she was born in, to spend undivided attention on her, before reverting back to my laptop to work, do calculations and submit returns. It was almost breastfeeding while typing and filing returns. It is like I do not have ample time available to just be in the moment, enjoying the preparations coming up to her birthday. Does this make sense? Or am I so caught up in my little work world, that I forget to stop and smell the roses?

The other reason for the lack of love for the Month of Love is, there is just NO TIME for anything else. The kids are growing up, their schedules are starting to pick up pace, something I never get right at budgeting for time-wise. I mean, I feel like I do not have time to purchase groceries (it is a frustration because fresh salad on a weekly basis is a MUST for us but getting around to Woollies is a challenge), let alone to get the kids on time to their additional maths classes, taking them food before their art classes start and exercise.

Exercise I refuse to skip. That is the one thing that keeps me sane. I cannot do all the funky moves associated with Cross Fit, but I arrive twice a week and I try them – I can see how I have grown stronger and am amazed at what I can do compared to when I just started. I then attend another day of exercise, and on that day I do spinning, which is something my son loves doing, so this is our time together. The extracurricular activities of the kids are also a no-go zone when it comes to deciding whether to not do it. We have to do it and work around that.

You see, in 2020, before the lock down and before the Pandemic, I made a conscious decision to stop putting work ahead of everything. I was missing out on life, because we lived a motto of Let’s just get through this month. Twelve months of the year, year in and year out. And that is how we lived for many years. I even felt that time was stolen from me, for years, because of this motto that we lived by. Actually, it may have been 2019 already that I made this decision. Anyway. In the middle of February 2020, at the busiest time of all, I started to Cross Fit, (after praying for years to God to make me love exercise, I finally found the thing that I can do and enjoy while getting back into shape).

Yes you can laugh. I am just complaining about how hectic February is and then I take on something like that. Is there ever a good time? No there is not. Now you may wonder how I am connecting the dots with this entry. I started with crafts, sang my moan songs about work and this month of Love which I do not love so much and now I am talking about exercise. But wait, you will see…. everything is intertwined in my life.

Back to the crafts. For months I had been dreaming about a Cricut machine. I was torn between the Joy and the Maker. My final decision was the Joy – due to size and price. In February (you see the trend here…?) I decided to make the purchase.

I knew it was the wrong month to make the purchase, because I knew that I would want to craft more than work in this crazy month. I decided to make the purchase from Kelirosh Studio. Her prices were the best (I missed the Takealot specials and could not get to Makro). I have also only heard good things about this online shop and this was enough to convince me to make the purchase there.

The guilt that I experienced after making the purchase was insane. But when the box arrived, it was as if God showed me that it is ok. It is ok to want to have a life, wanting to do things and not only work. On the box, I noticed two Flamingos. Now the whole thing that my blog and ministry revolves around is Flamingos. This is mind blowing and insane – the Flamingos on the box.

Even the posture of the Flamingos on the box were similar to two used in my designs. Immediately I felt as if God was talking to me here. Confirming that it is ok to make this purchase in the month which I consider to be not the best month for me personally.

I realise too, that we are raising a new generation of crafters. I grew up with things like making candles, cards with stamps and embossing powder, little wire trees with gemstones stuck on them, to name only a few. The next generation of crafters involves technology like this little Joy machine. As you can gather, both my children have hi-jacked the machine, fighting over who is going to use it next. Taking the pressure off me to use it so that I can focus on work for now – but when this busy period is over, I am going to jump in and do stuff with it.

A week or so after the purchase of the Joy, I received a phone call from a Mrs. SA semi-finalist, Nicky Kruger, asking if I would like to consider being a sponsor to her for this pageant or competition (not sure how we are supposed to refer to this?). Now this is a longish story of how we “know” each other, but the long and the short is, she is a teacher at a school where I served last year, handing out aprons to students.

I was dumb-struck, overwhelmed and excited all at the same time. My initial response was that it is CRAZY mad at work, I can only answer her mid-March after all my deadlines have been tended to. Of course, curiosity got the better of me, I read through the information she sent me and made up my mind. This is such a wonderful opportunity, I cannot decline.

Now you see, again this is February. Again there seems to be little time to think things through and get things done. I am starting to wonder if God is not pushing me in a direction and allowing all these things to happen in the Month of Love, just so that I can start loving Feb again?

Who knows, but, it seems that big things happen in February. The birth of a child, the need to exercise, the need to craft more and now the sponsorship for a HUGE event like Mrs. SA. I think God is giving back my Joy for the month when I experience it the least.

I just have to love the puns from God. The Joy represented by a physical tangible little machine, literally bringing Joy to those using it. Because is that not how we as humans are? We want to SEE it and KNOW it is there…. and don’t get me wrong – I am not placing my Joy in the Joy, it is just God’s way of talking to me, giving me a tangible reminder of things that I need reminding of.

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Die “Joy”

Die skerp reuk van Creosote (ek moes dit gaan google – die spelling en dit word uitgespreek as Kreesout – dis hoe ek al die jare die woord in my kop gesien het) vat my altyd terug na my kinderjare. Hoekom? Vra jy dalk. Ek het groot geword met ‘n Wendy huis in die agtertuin, wat omskep was in ‘n Kuns Kamer, die hout van die Wendy huis was met Creosote behandel. Ek was blootgestel aan kuns en crafting op ‘n jong ouderdom. Ek sal altyd hierdie reuk assosieër met kuns en crafting.

Ek het groot geword met ‘n ma wat altyd iets kreatiefs gedoen het, iemand wat haar drie dogters geleer het om so bietjie die realiteite van die wêreld te ontsnap deur kuns en crafting te doen. Ek raai maar of dit is hoekom sy kuns en crafting gedoen het, want dis hoekom ek dit doen. Met crafting is daar vir my geen reëls nie. Ok dit het reëls, maar, dis nie soos my day job nie jy weet? As jy ‘n fout maak, verf jy oor dit of jy begin van voor af, of jy wing dit net en sien hoe die projek gaan en hoe dit gaan opeindig om te lyk.

Met my day job is dit nie so eenvoudig nie, en ek voel verplig om dinge perfek te doen en reg te doen die eerste keer. Op hierdie tydstip terwyl ek die artikel skryf, reken ek dis tyd om die ketel aan te sit en vir jou ‘n lekker koppie koffie of tee te maak voor jy verder lees.

Jy sien, ek kan nie die artikel opbreek in kleiner hoofstukke nie, anders verloor ek die kruks van die saak wat op my hart geplaas was om te sê. Februarie is ‘n besige maand. Seker my minder gunsteling maand van die jaar, as mens nou toegelaat is om ‘n swart skaap maand te hê.

Vir soveel redes is ek nie ‘n Feb aanhanger nie. Een van die grootste redes is, die feit dat ek altyd uitgeput voel teen die tyd dat dit my dogter se verjaarsdag is op die 7de van die maand. Ja, ek weet, dis net aan die begin van die maand, maar ek weet wat voor lê, ek weet die ure wat ek vereis word om te werk, ek weet net wat lê vir my voor werksgewys. My klein EMP201 (vir die wat nie weet nie – dis een van die vele belastingopgawes wat op die 7de van elke maand ingedien moet word) is so entoesiasties wanneer dit kom by haar verjaarsdag.

Ek voel skuldig omdat ek nie haar opgewondenheid altyd met haar kan deel nie. En ek voel nog meer so, omdat ek ongeveer net tot die 14de Februarie 2014 gehad het, die jaar wat sy gebore was, om onverdeelde aandag aan haar te gee, voordat ek weer terug gekeer het na my skootrekenaar (hoe is dit vir ‘n mooi Afrikaanse woord?), om berekeninge te doen en opgawes in te dien. Dit was amper borsvoeding terwyl ek getik het op die rekenaar en opgawes ingedien het. Dit is asof ek net nooit genoeg tyd beskikbaar het om die oomblik en die voorbereiding vir haar verjaarsdag te geniet nie. Maak dit sin? Of is ek so vasgevang in my klein werk wêreld, dat ek vergeet om te stop en bietjie die rose se geur te geniet? (Die klink net beter in Engels – to stop and smell the roses).

Die ander rede vir die gebrek aan liefde vir die Maand van Liefde, is, daar is net NIKS TYD vir enige iets anders nie. Die kinders word groter, hul skedules begin voller raak, iets wat ek voel of ek nooit reg kry om voor te begroot tydsgewys nie. Ek meen, ek het nie eens tyd om inkopies te gaan doen nie (dit is ‘n frustrasie want vars slaai op ‘n weeklikse basis is ‘n MOET vir ons en om by Woollies uit te kom is ‘n uitdaging), nie eens te praat van om die kinders betyds by hul ander dinge te kry soos ekstra Wiskunde klasse, kos te neem voor kuns klasse en oefening nie.

Ek weier om oefening te mis. Dis die een ding wat maak dat ek nie dit verloor nie. Ek kan nie al die funky bewegings van Cross Fit altyd reg kry en uitvoer nie, maar, ek daag twee maal per week op en ek probeer hulle doen – ek kan sien hoeveel sterker ek geword het en is verbaas oor wat ek nou al kan doen teenoor wat ek kon doen toe ek net begin het. Dan woon ek nog ‘n dag van oefening by en daar doen ek spinning, iets wat my seun mal oor is, so dis ons tyd saam. Die buitemuurse aktiwiteite van die kinders is ook ‘n no-go zone as dit kom by besluit om dit te doen of nie. Ons moet dit net laat gebeur en dit maak werk, en beplan maar alles rondom dit.

Jy sien, in 2020, voor die grendeltyd en voor die Pandemie, het ek ‘n doelbewuste besluit geneem om op te hou om werk voor alles te plaas in my lewe. Ek het uitgemis op die lewe, want, ons het ‘n slagspreuk geleef van Kom ons kom net deur hierdie maand. En dit is hoe ons geleef het vir baie jare. Ek het selfs op ‘n kol gevoel of tyd gesteel was by my, weens hierdie slagspreuk waarby ons gehou het. 12 maande van die jaar, jaar in en jaar uit. Eintlik was dit dalk al in 2019 wat ek daardie besluit geneem het. Elkgeval. Middel Februarie 2020, in die besigste tyd ooit, het ek begin om te Cross Fit (na ek vir jare gebid het vir die Here om my lief te maak vir oefening, het ek uiteindelik die ding gekry waarvan ek hou en om my lyf weer in shape te kry).

Ja jy kan maar lag. Ek het nou net gekla oor hoe besig Februarie is en dan vat ek iets soos dit aan. Is daar ooit ‘n goeie tyd? Nee daar is nie. Nou jy kan dalk nou wonder hoe ek die kolle gaan verbind met die inskrywing. Ek begin met crafts, sing dan my klaagliedere oor werk en die Maand van Liefde, waarvoor ek nie so lief is nie en nou praat ek van oefening. Maar wag, jy sal sien…. alles is in een geweef in my lewe.

Terug by die crafts. Vir maande het ek gedroom van ‘n Cricut masjien. Ek was geskeur tussen die Joy en die Maker. My finale besluit was toe die Joy – weens die grootte en die prys. In Februarie (sien jy die trend hier…?) besluit ek toe om die aankoop te maak.

Ek het geweet dit was die verkeerde maand om so iets aan te koop, want ek weet ook dat ek eerder met die nuwe speelding gaan wil eksperimenteer as om te werk in die besige maand. Ek het toe verder besluit om dit by Kelirosh Studio aan te koop. Haar pryse was die beste (ek het die Takealot winskopies gemis en kon nie by Makro uitkom nie). Ek het ook net goeie goed gehoor van hierdie aanlyn winkel en dit was genoeg om my te oortuig om die aankoop daar te maak.

Die skuldgevoel wat ek ervaar het na ek die aankoop gedoen het was belaglik. Maar, toe die boks arriveer, was dit asof die Here vir my gewys het dat dit ok is. Dit is ok om ook ‘n lewe te wil hê, om te wil dinge doen en nie net te werk nie. Op die boks sien ek toe twee Flaminke. Nou die hele ding waaroor my bediening en blog gaan is Flaminke. Dit was net mind blowing en amper belaglik, met respek gesê – die Flaminke op die boks.

Selfs die postuur van die Flaminke op die boks was soortgelyk aan twee wat ek in my ontwerpe gebruik. Onmiddellik voel ek asof die Here met my hier praat. Bevestig dat dit ok is om hierdie aankoop te maak in die maand wat ek sien as die minder lekker maand vir my persoonlik.

Ek besef ook, dat ons ‘n nuwe generasie crafters hier groot maak. Ek het groot geword met goed soos om kerse te maak, kaartjies met stempeltjies en embossing poeier, klein draad boompies met mooi klippies op geplak, om maar net ‘n paar te noem. Die volgende generasie van crafters betrek tegnologie soos hierdie klein Joy masjientjie. Soos jy kan aflei, het beide my kinders besluit om die masjien te hi-jack, hulle baklei oor wie dit volgende gaan gebruik. Dit maak die druk so bietjie ligter vir my om die masjien te gebruik sodat ek nou op werk kan fokus – maar wanneer hierdie besige tyd verby is, gaan ek vir seker inspring en goed doen met hom.

‘n Week of so na die aankoop van die Joy, ontvang ek ‘n oproep van ‘n Mev. SA semi-finalis, Nicky Kruger. Sy vra my of ek dit sal oorweeg om ‘n borg te wees vir hierdie kompetisie (ek is nou nie seker of ek reg hierna verwys nie?). Nou dit is ‘n langerige storie van hoe ons mekaar “ken”, maar die lang en die kort is, sy is ‘n juffrou by ‘n skool waar ek laas jaar gaan bedien het en voorskote uitgedeel het aan studente.

Ek was stom geslaan, oorweldig en opgewonde, alles op dieselfde tyd. My aanvanklike reaksie was dat dit MAL besig is by die werk en ek sal eers haar middel Maart kan beantwoord, wanneer ek al my sperdatums gehaal het. Natuurlik het nuuskierigheid die oorhand gekry, ek het gelees deur die inligting wat sy my gestuur het en ek het my besluit geneem. Dit is so ‘n wonderlike geleentheid, ek kan nie dit van die hand wys nie.

Sien jy nou weer – dis alweer Februarie. Weer lyk dit of daar so min tyd is om dinge deur te dink en goed te doen. Ek begin te wonder of die Here my nie in ‘n rigting druk en toelaat dat al hierdie dinge gebeur, in die Maand van Liefde, net sodat ek weer lief kan word vir Februarie nie?

Wie weet, maar, dit lyk of groot dinge in Februarie gebeur. Die geboorte van ‘n kind, die behoefte om te oefen en crafting te doen en nou hierdie borgskap van ‘n GROOT ding soos Mev. SA. Ek dink God is besig om my Joy vir my terug te gee in die maand wat ek dit die minste ervaar.

Ek moet bieg – ek is lief vir die puns van God af. Die Joy wat verteenwoordig word deur ‘n fisiese, tasbare klein masjientjie, wat letterlik Joy bring vir díe wat dit gebruik. Want, is dit nie hoe ons as mense is nie? Ons wil SIEN en HOOR dis daar – en moet my nie verkeerd verstaan nie – ek plaas nie my Joy in die Joy nie, dis net God se manier om met my te praat, om vir my ‘n tasbare herinnering te gee aan dinge waaraan ek herinner moet word.

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Coffee that slaps

Waking up a bit earlier than planned this morning, on a Saturday morning nogal, I head out to Harties. I have an early, 7 am nail appointment with my other Sister from another mister, Irene. I just love early morning drives, especially those on a Saturday. It is as if they have this mystical something to it that makes it special. The Magalies mountains sets the tone for the day with clear blue skies, washed clean after some rain this week, shortly after one of THE hottest January months ever.

None-the-less, the plan was to go and do my nails, run some errands at our local shopping centre, Village Mall and then return home to do some day job tasks. Leaving while the whole household was sleeping, meant I could not whip up my shake in the blender. I leave with only coffee to fill my stomach and off I go.

One of my stops in Village Mall was Woolworths Food, to acquire the fresh salad and fruit for the week. On the way out, my stomach reminded me that it STILL only has had coffee to consume. I stop at the recently installed coffee counter (and with recent I mean towards the end of 2022 – somewhere in the last quarter of the year, Woolworths decided that those in Harties can be spoilt with a coffee counter). Now I am doubting whether it was 2022 or 2021? The days fly past so quickly, I cannot tell. Anyway.

Since the installation and erection of that particular coffee bar, I have only walked past, smelling the very lovely smell of freshly ground coffee beans. Always in a hurry and never having time to stop and just buy one. Today I stopped there, actually wanting to purchase a muffin or something and a coffee. Whilst inspecting the muffins on display and without looking up at the Barista, I asked what muffins they have, I am hungry.

She answers me saying she has plenty of nice things. I ask about the coffee. My question was Is it Lekker? Her reply? Lekker is an understatement. It is Coffee e Monate. I look at her, almost saying HUH? but decide to politely ask her to repeat what she said asking for an explanation of what she meant. She says it is Coffee that slaps. Now she has my attention. Coffee that slaps. What IS that supposed to mean? I guess very much more than Lekker coffee. I LOVE coffee. I consume too much coffee I think.

This convinced me to continue with my decision made a few seconds earlier to purchase and try some of Woolworths’ coffee on this particular Saturday morning. Because, boy oh boy, I need some caffeine to stay awake! We have a pleasant and loud conversation, laughing, talking all the while she is making the coffee. Somewhere during this time, I decided to write about my experience, and I asked her to write down the phrase, because, for the life of me, I am NOT going to remember coffee e Monate until I return home.

During our conversation, I learnt that the lady, with the ever so lovely smile and personality that is also e Monate (if I can use a part of the phrase she taught me with something else – not sure if this is how it works in Tshwana. With this I mean her personality cannot be described with a word like Lekker as that would just be an understatement). Anyway, I learnt that the lady has just returned from leave. She explains that is the reason why she is in a good mood today. Tomalo (I think that was her name – the picture on my phone does not show the name tag clear enough) asks me what coffee I want and do I want to add something extra like sugar, honey or sweetner. I give through my order for a Grande Cappuccino with one brown sugar.

The other Barista calls me to the till to pay. I swipe my Woolworths card more than once and miraculously I get a discount of more than 10% on a Grande coffee at Woollies. Before I leave, Tomalo (sorry if I have your name wrong) says I MUST taste the coffee before I leave, to be sure it is nice. I asked her in Afrikaans Het jy die suiker geroer ook? She explains that while on leave her Afrikaans became a bit rusty, I laugh at this and repeat the question in English.

She stirred it, like a good Barista would do. I take a sip, and gesture with my hand to my face that it IS Coffee e Monate (Coffee that slaps). For the life of me I cannot pronounce the gentlemen’s name, but I ask him and Tomalo to smile, I want to take a picture for my blog entry. Ever so excited they pose and laugh for this picture. Eventually I have a photo that is to my liking, showing everyone’s smiles and excitement.

Before leaving, Tomalo tells me to say hashtag best_baristas_in_harties with my entry. People will comment is her response. We continue to joke and I added a few hashtags to this – #coffee_e_monate and #best_coffee to name a few. She even said that I must return for a second date, this was now the first date. And I must say, I may just make a Woollies Grande Cappuccino a part of my weekly shopping list. Sadly, my coffee did not last as long as the lekker feeling after having this discussion with these two people! It was finished before I got to the dam wall, heading back home to the lovely Skeerpoort.

#best_baristas_in_harties #coffee_e_monate #coffee_that_slaps #best_coffee #Woolworths_harties #saturday_morning_vibes #what_a_lekker_experience #have_you_had_coffee_e_monate_yet?




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Koffie wat klap

Ek word vroeër as beplan wakker vanoggend, op ‘n Saterdagoggend nogal, om Harties toe te gaan. Ek het ‘n vroeë nael afspraak, 7 uur die oggend om presies te wees, by my ander Sister from another mister, Irene. Ek is mal oor vroeë oggend ritte, veral op ‘n Saterdagoggend. Dit het hierdie gevoel en iets wat dit net spesiaal maak. Die Magaliesberge vertoon pragtig voor my soos wat ek ry, wat die mood vir die dag stel. Met die lug mooi blou en skoon gewas na die reën hierdie week, kort na een van DIE warmste Januarie maande ooit.

Nie te min, die plan was om te gaan en my naels te doen, so bietjie goedjies en inkopies te doen by die plaaslike inkopiesentrum Village Mall en dan terug te keer huis toe om so bietjie day job take te verrig. Omdat ek so vroeg moes ry, terwyl die huishouding nog in droomland was, kon ek nie my oggend shake maak in die blender nie. Met net koffie om die hol kol te vul, klim ek in my kar en ry na my afspraak toe.

Een van die winkels wat ek besoek in Village Mall was Woolworths Food, om so bietjie vars groente, vrugte en slaai goed aan te koop. Oppad uit herinner my maag my dat dit STEEDS net koffie gehad het om te verteer. Ek besluit om by die koffie toonbank, wat redelik onlangs geinstalleer was te stop. En met onlangs bedoel ek iewers aan die einde van 2022, iewers in die laaste kwartaal van die jaar, het Woolworths besluit dat diegene in Harties ook bederf kan word met so ‘n koffie toonbank. Altans – ek DINK dit was 2022, miskien was dit 2021 al? Die dae vlieg so, ek kan nie seker wees nie. Elkgeval.

Sedert die installasie en oprigting van daardie einste toonbank, het ek nog net verby geloop. Elke keer ruik ek die heerlike aroma van vars gemaalde koffie bone. Ek is altyd haastig en het nooit tyd om te stop en een te koop nie. Maar vandag is anders en vandag besluit ek om een te koop. Ek wou eintlik ‘n muffin of iets koop saam met die koffie. Terwyl ek die muffins wat uitgesprei is bekyk, vra ek die Barista (sonder om op te kyk) watter muffins hulle het, ek is honger (in Engels). Ek verduidelik dat ek net een soek nie 4 nie.

Sy antwoord my deur te sê sy het baie lekker goed. Ek vra uit oor die koffie. My vraag was (in Engels) Is it Lekker? Haar antwoord? Lekker is an understatement. It is Coffee e Monate. Ek kyk na haar en sê ampertjies HUH? maar besluit om ordentlik te vra om te herhaal wat sy gesê het en te verduidelik wat dit beteken. Sy sê dit beteken Coffee that slaps. Nou het sy my aandag. Coffee that slaps. Wat IS dit veronderstel om te beteken? Ek reken iets beter and groter as Lekker koffie. Ek is MAL oor koffie. Ek dink ek drink te veel koffie.

Dit was die oortuiging wat ek nodig gehad het, na my besluit etlike sekondes vroeër om van die Woolworths koffie te probeer. Op hierdie einste Saterdagoggend, want o vet, ek het kaffeine nodig om wakker te bly! Ons het ‘n aangename luidrugtige gesprek, ons lag terwyl sy die koffie maak. Iewers gedurende hierdie gesprek, besluit ek om oor my ervaring te skryf. Ek vra haar toe om die frase wat sy gesê het neer te skryf vir my, want ek gaan om die dood nie Coffee e Monate onthou tot ek by die huis is nie.

Gedurende ons gesprek, leer ek dat die dame, met die pragtige, stralende en aansteeklike glimlag, en wie se persoonlikheid ook e Monate is (as ek nou deel van ‘n frase wat elders gebruik word hier kan invoeg – ek is nie seker of dit so werk in Tshwana nie – maar ek bedoel eintlik haar persoonlikheid kan nie as LEKKER beskryf word nie – dis ‘n understatement), pas terug gekom het van verlof af. Sy verduidelik dat dit die rede is hoekom sy in ‘n goeie bui is vandag. Tomalo (ek dink dis haar naam – die foto op my foon vertoon nie haar naam op haar hemp duidelik genoeg nie) vra my watter koffie ek wil hê en of ek iets ekstra in wil hê soos suiker, heuning of versoeter. Ek gee my bestelling deur vir ‘n Grande Cappuccino met een bruin suiker.

Die ander Barista roep my na die till om te betaal. Ek swipe (wat is die woord in Afrikaans tog?) my Woolworths kaart meer as een keer en wonderbaarlik kry ek meer as 10% afslag op ‘n Grande coffee by Woollies. Voor ek loop, beveel Tomalo aan (skuus as ek nou die naam verkeerd het hier) dat ek die koffie MOET proe voor ek loop, om seker te maak dis lekker. Ek vra haar, in Afrikaans, Het jy die suiker geroer ook? Sy verduidelik vir my dat haar Afrikaans so bietjie verroes het terwyl sy op verlof was. Ek lag vir dit en herhaal die vraag in Engels.

Sy HET dit geroer, soos dit ‘n goeie Barista betaam om te doen. Ek vat ‘n slukkie en maak ‘n gebaar met my hand na my gesig toe dat dit wel ‘n Coffee e Monate IS (koffie wat klap soos direk vertaal). Om die dood toe kan ek nie die man se naam uitspreek (of onthou) nie, maar ek vra hom en Tomalo om te glimlag, ek wil ‘n foto neem vir my blog inskrywing. Ewe opgewonde glimlag hulle mooi terwyl hulle pose vir die foto. Uiteindelik het ek ‘n foto wat vir my werk, wat almal se glimlagte en opgewondenheid wys.

Voor ek gaan, sê Tomalo dat ek by my inskrywing moet voeg hashtag best_baristas_in_harties. Sy gaan voort deur te sê People will comment. Ons gaan voort met ons grappies en ek sê ek sal nog ‘n paar hashtags by hierdie inskrywing sit soos #coffee_e_monate en #best_coffee om net ‘n paar te noem. Sy het ook gesê ek moet terug kom vir ‘n tweede date, hierdie was nou my eerste date. Ek moet sê, ek mag dalk net ‘n Woollies Grande Cappuccino deel maak van my weeklikse inkopielys. Dis jammer dat my koffie nie so lank gehou het soos die lekker gevoel na hierdie gesprek met hierdie twee mense nie. Dit was klaar nog voor ek by die damwal was, oppad terug na die pragtige Skeerpoort toe.

#best_baristas_in_harties #coffee_e_monate #coffee_that_slaps #best_coffee #Woolworths_harties #saturday_morning_vibes #what_a_lekker_experience #have_you_had_coffee_e_monate_yet?




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The fruit

When I started with God’s crazy plan (said with respect of course – because in my mind it did not make sense at all) for Beroepsvrou’s desk pads, calendars and other dated items, notebooks and mouse pads, I just did it. I did not think about it and I did not really plan much. I am starting to realise more and more just HOW God’s Upside-Down Kingdom works – His calculations are not our calculations, His plans are not our plans, His time is not our time.

To just do things without thinking is a bit out of my comfort zone. Because for my day job, that is ALL that I must do. Plan and think – everything must make sense you know? When it came to Beroepsvrou, I just pushed through (never in my life have I ever experienced anything like this before, feeling how hard God pressed something on my heart) and the slogan, if I can call it that, that Beroepsvrou identifies with and what everything is about, is Pink Feathers™ for God. When I talk about Pink Feathers™ I am referring to the Flamingos and what God revealed to me about that bird specie. If you still don’t know what it is about – go to the Pink Feathers™ category – start with the oldest article and work your way through to the newest article on my blog.

This was also the theme for the first year of the Pink Feathers™ range, not only dated items, but notebooks and mouse pads too. I soon realised that Flamingo’s are not everyone’s flavour and that one gets tired of looking at the same picture on your diary or desk pad for 12 months. January 2022 (one year ago) I had a moment of absolute panic so to speak about what 2023’s theme will be and how it will work in the future. Yes, I know, it was a WHOLE year in advance, but there IS this part of my personality that likes the planning part (although I actually don’t like it, but anyway – does this even make sense to feel like this? Almost a love-hate relationship with planning).

Now it feels as if I am taking a wide turn telling this story and getting to the point. But, the point that I want to make is, that shortly after having this moment, God gave confirmation, early February 2022, of the theme for 2023, something that I was wondering about. Again, it was in such a wonderful manner, like only God can. It was one of those fist pump moments with God. My redheaded friend (in my opinion everyone needs one of those – a real Ginger) came to visit me one Saturday. We had been struggling to make a date to see each other and our visit was long overdue. Very modest and embarrassed, she hands over a gift with the words “Abba Father said you had questions about this and that I must give this to you” something to that effect.

I look down to my hands at what she had given me – a set of clay earrings, red pomegranates. I burst into tears almost immediately, because that was one of my questions to God (no one knew it). Can I do a theme, what must it be, can I use Pomegranates? With that I obviously had a ton of other questions too, and as time is progressing, they are being answered.

The speed at which I got my answer, made me realise again that the planning that goes into Beroepsvrou, is just going to be totally different than that of my day job. There is planning, but the way God wants to do it and not the way the world determines it. Now this brings me to the first scripture for 2023 on the desk pad, here at the end of January. This was a BUSY month, worse than what I had experienced before and hence the reason why I am only getting to this now. Nothing drastic has changed work wise and I cannot place my finger on it and why it feels like this – the rush getting worse. It is what it is. Probably deadlines being moved forward and shortened that actually contributes to the chaos that I feel around me.

I felt that thís Bibleverse is applicable to the theme for 2023, and even though it refers to fruit that is not named in the Bible, (it refers to a vine and branches so one can only think and assume that it refers to grapes), but, I recon Pomegranates can also work for this purpose. I think it can be any fruit actually – grapes, apples or oranges. But God laid Pomegranates on my heart. We can only bear fruit when we are IN HIM. This comes back to the Pink Feathers™ – because what are you filling yourself with? Does the fruit that you bear show that you have Pink Feathers™ for God? What fruit are your Pink Feathers™ bearing? Do you tell people that you are a Pomegranate tree, but then, the fruit that you bear is bananas and is so far removed from that which you proclaim and what your actions show?

Without Jesus we cannot do anything, as we are taught in this scripture. When we are IN Him and fill ourselves with HIM then we will bear much fruit. Do you live in Him? And does He live in you? Do you bear fruit? What fruit do you bear? Does your walk and talk agree? At the beginning of the new year (the Year of Jubilee), when everything just feels faster than what we can handle, it is difficult to stick to this and proceed with it. It is then, in the middle of what feels like chaos, that we must be reminded of this scripture. We must live it and SHOW people that God is in us, and we are in Him. Our fruit must agree with our words and deeds and vice versa. What fruit do your Pink Feathers™ bear?

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Die vrugte

Toe ek die Here se mal plan (met respek gesê natuurlik – want in my kop het dit glad nie sin gemaak nie) vir Beroepsvrou begin deurvoer van desk pads, kalenders en ander gedateerde items, notaboeke en muismatte, het ek dit net gedoen. Ek het nie gedink nie en nie regtig beplan nie. Ek besef net al hoe meer HOE God se Upside-Down Kingdom werk – Sy somme is nie ons somme nie, Sy planne is nie ons planne nie, Sy tyd is nie ons tyd nie.

Om net goed te doen sonder om te dink, is iets wat so ietwat buite my comfort zone is. Want vir my day job is dit AL wat ek moet doen. Beplan en dink – goed moet sin maak jy weet? Vir Beroepsvrou het ek deur gedruk (nog nooit so iets in my lewe beleef wat die Here so hard op my hart gedruk het om te doen nie) en die leuse, as ek dit nou so kan stel, waarmee Beroepsvrou identifiseer en waaroor dit alles gaan, is Pienk Vere™ vir die Here. Wanneer ek van Pienk Vere™ praat, verwys ek natuurlik na die Flaminke en dit wat die Here vir my openbaar het oor hierdie voëlspesie. As jy nou nog nie weet waaroor dit gaan nie – gaan lees die stukke onder die kategorie Pienk Vere™ – begin by die oudste artikels en werk jou pad deur na die nuutste artikels toe.

Dit was dan ook die eerste jaar se tema vir alles van die Pienk Vere™ reeks, nie net die gedateerde items nie, maar ook notaboeke en muis matte. Ek het egter gou besef dat Flaminke nie in almal se smaak val nie, en, mens raak maar moeg om vir 12 maande vir dieselfde prentjie te kyk op jou desk pad of dagboek. Januarie 2022 (een jaar gelede) slaan ek ‘n panic so te sê oor wat 2023 se tema gaan wees en hoe dit gaan werk in die toekoms. Ja, ek weet, dis ‘n hele jaar voor die tyd, maar daar IS die deel van my persoonlikheid wat van beplanning hou (alhoewel ek eintlik glad nie van dit hou nie maar toemaar – maak dit sin om so te voel? Amper ‘n love-hate verhouding met beplanning…).

Nou dit voel of ek met ‘n Kaapse draai by my punt uitkom. Maar die punt wat ek wil maak is, die Here het kort daarna, sommer vroeg in Februarie 2022, vir my bevestiging gegee van die tema vir 2023 waaroor ek gewonder het. Op so ‘n wonderlike manier, soos wat net die Here kan. Dis weer een van daai fist pump oomblikke met God. My rooikop vriendin (almal het so een nodig in my opinie – ‘n regte egte Ginger) kom kuier een Saterdag by my. Ons het gesukkel om ‘n datum te kry wat beide van ons pas en ons kuiertjie was so bietjie overdue. Heel beskeie en verleë oorhandig sy vir my ‘n persentjie saam met die woorde “Abba Vader het gesê jy het vrae hieroor en dat ek dit vir jou moet gee” iets in daardie lyn.

Ek kyk af in my hande na wat sy vir my gegee het – ‘n stelletjie klei oorbelle, bloedrooi granate. Ek bars amper oombliklik in trane uit, want dit was een van my vrae aan God (niemand het dit geweet nie). Kan ek ‘n tema doen, wat moet dit wees en is granate ok? Saam met dit het ek natuurlik honderde ander vrae gehad, en soos wat die tyd aanbeweeg is dit besig om beantwoord te word.

Daar het ek sommer gou my antwoord gekry en besef ek net weer dat Beroepsvrou se beplanning ietwat anders gaan wees as my day job se beplanning. Daar is beplanning, maar op God se manier, nie soos die wêreld dit bepaal nie. Nou dit bring my by die heel eerste skrifvers vir 2023 se desk pad, so hier op die einde van Januarie. Hierdie was ‘n BESIGE maand, erger as wat ek al voorheen beleef het en daarom dat ek nou eers hierby uitkom. Niks het drasties verander nie en ek kan wragties nie my vinger lê op dit en hoekom dit so voel nie – die gejaag wat net erger word. Dit is net wat dit is. Seker maar sperdatums wat verkort word wat bydra tot dit wat soos chaos voel om my.

Ek het gevoel díe Bybelvers is van pas by die tema vir 2023, en alhoewel die vrug waarna verwys word nie benoem is in die Bybel nie, (dit verwys wel na lote en wynstokke en dus neem mens maar aan dat dit na druiwe verwys), reken ek Granate kan ook werk vir die doel. Dit kan eintlik maar enige vrugte wees reken ek – druiwe, appels of lemoene. Maar die Here het Granate op my hart gelê. Ons kan slegs vrug dra wanneer ons IN HOM is. En dit sluit weer aan by die Pienk Vere™ – want waarmee vul jy jouself? Wys jou vrugte wat jy dra dat jy Pienk Vere™ vir die Here het? Watter vrugte dra jou Pienk Vere™? Sê jy vir mense jy is ‘n Granaat boom maar dan dra jy piesangs en is so ver verwyderd van dit wat jy proklameer en dit wat jy uitleef?

Sonder Jesus kan ons niks doen nie, soos die skrifvers ons leer. Wanneer ons IN Hom woon en onsself opvul met Hom, dan dra ons baie vrugte. Woon jy in Hom? En Hy in jou? Dra jy vrugte? Watter vrugte dra jy? Does your walk and talk agree? So aan die begin van die nuwe jaar, (die Jubel Jaar), wanneer alles net vinniger uit die blokke wegspring as wat ons kan hanteer, is dit soms moeilik om hierdie by te hou en deur te voer. Dis juis dan, in hierdie woeste tye, dat ons moet onthou en herinner word aan hierdie skrif. Dit uitleef en vir mense WYS dat God in ons is en ons in Hom is. Dat ons vrugte ooreenstem met ons dade en woorde. Watter vrugte dra jou Pienk Vere™?

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Miss read

This entry is on a lighter note about something that I miss read. Towards the end of 2022, we were driving through Krugersdorp with me as a passenger in the car.

As we were driving, I was staring out the window. I noticed some election posters on lamp posts. I noticed a poster, in Afrikaans, that read Stem Amy Stem (translated it would be Vote Amy Vote but you will see later why a translation here will not have the same effect).

I think to myself that this is a strange use of words to promote that party’s representatives and to get people to vote. It is almost as if they are making up a chant to prompt Amy to cast her vote. I cannot help but think of the Afrikaans song, Swem Jannie Swem! while reading the voting poster.

I then turn my attention back to Google maps on my phone, following the instructions to our destination. Not too long after this, I look up and see another voting poster like the previous one. This time we were driving slower, because we almost had to turn off the road that we were on.

The words on the poster? Stem Amy Steyn and NOT Stem Amy Stem! I burst out laughing almost immediately and shared the moment with my husband, who laughed even more than what I did! Everytime I pass a voting poster, I will be reminded of this moment, giggling to myself, especially when I pass the ones promoting Amy Steyn.

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Mis gelees

Hierdie inskrywing is op ‘n ligter noot van iets wat ek mis gelees het. Einde 2022, ry ons deur Krugersdorp, ek was die passasier in die kar.

Soos wat ons ry, kyk ek by die venster uit. Ek sien verkiesingsplakkate op die lamppale. So in die ry, lees ek Stem Amy Stem en ek dink by myself, dis nou ‘n vreemde nuwe manier vir bemarking van die party se verteenwoordigers en om mense te kry om te stem…

Dis asof hulle ‘n chant op maak om Amy te oortuig om haar kruisie te gaan trek en te stem. Onmiddellik dink ek aan die liedjie Swem Jannie Swem! terwyl ek die slagspreuk lees.

Ek los dit daar, en besluit om Google maps te volg op my foon, na ons bestemming toe. Nie te lank daarna nie, kyk ek op en sien weer ‘n plakkaat, soos die vorige een. Die keer ry ons bietjie stadiger want ons moet amper afdraai.

Die woorde op die bordjie? Stem Amy Steyn nie Stem Amy Stem nie! Ek begin dadelik hardop te lag en deel die oomblik met my man wat net so lekker saam lag. Nou giggel ek elke keer as ek verby ‘n verkiesingsplakkaat ry, veral die een van Amy Steyn.

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The Year of Jubilee

This is officially my first entry of 2023. I have been meaning to catch up on some drafts that I wrote, but never translated and therefore never published, since my offices closed on 15 December 2022. Guess what? That just never happened! It was as if I was without energy this December holiday. Almost like a battery running on empty.

I had a discussion with my domestic worker about this, she said she also felt like that. Everything was effort. She makes a joke, saying she thinks we are getting older. Just there and then I rebuke that, saying we have just turned 40, so seriously, it cannot be old age. After a quick chat with our neighbour (her dog had puppies and now the Potgieters visited the Krugers every week, and then, when every pup has found a home, we see and hear little of them….my kids just love seeing puppies, oooooohing and aaaaahing about the little miracles that were born). Well, I have deemed it necessary to stop the sentence there, because, as per usual, information overload. Anyway, after having a chat with my neighbour, she said they also felt like that. Not wanting to do anything. So maybe it is something in the air?

This year is supposed to be the Year of Jubilee. 2023 the year of Jubilee. But, boy oh boy, it feels like the enemy just wants to come and steal it. The song in my heart, the praises just feel like they are disappearing into thin air. I can feel January in the air. You know? The feeling of being rushed that kicked in. The athletics atmosphere. The mornings that are gradually becoming cooler (in spite the heat wave we are currently experiencing), just as summer is making her last appearance before handing over to Autumn who will be performing in the falling leaves. I know it is not Autumn yet, because, man oh man, it is HOT. But, I can feel the change in the air. It feels as if this year started a bit more bumpy than usual. First lightning struck my laptop. This time round there are less documents that are lost, but still a few internal documents, especially Beroepsvrou admin type documents….but, it is what it is. It happened and I cannot do anything about it.

The week before our offices re-opened officially, I decided to get going work-wise. But it is a struggle. The stationery for school was purchased later than planned. I just did not have the energy for that. Then the bags full of books, pens and who knows what else, was lying around in my home office, glaring at me and mocking me. It must still be labelled. I recall what it felt like the previous year and how long it took. That was my framework on which I based this task. At the end of the day it was not that bad, I left it until number 99, something that does not work for me. But, I made it and will leave the commentary at that.

Just to put the cherry on top of everything, at the beginning of a new year, we decided to repaint our daughter’s room. Something we meant to do beginning of the holidays, but did not get round to doing, because we just did not feel up to it. This was the weekend before our offices opened officially for the new work year. None the less, we decided to address the elephant in the room and start the process. During this process, my husband sustained a self-inflicted wound to his foot. At that stage we thought it meant 6 to 8 weeks on crutches. At the time of publishing this article (how fancy does that sound, almost like a newspaper article?), the expected time on crutches was reduced significantly and resulted in only about 2 weeks. He is still not able to walk on the foot properly and can also not run around, but at least his extra pair of legs is something of the past and he can function relatively normal.

My list of challenges and moan songs goes on and on, but I will not repeat everything here. The purpose is not to complain in everyone’s ears about what I am experiencing, right at the beginning of the year. I am sharing my irritations and frustrations and challenges. I started writing this entry about a week or so before it was officially published, but never got round to finishing it off. It is even starting to feel like the enemy is stealing time, because time to do everything that I want to do, feels so little, scarce and few & far between. Just last week I was driving somewhere, thinking about how this does not feel like a year of jubilee. When I looked to the left of me, I saw a Farmer’s truck that read (in Afrikaans) Rejoice in the Lord.

Just there I realised that God was reprimanding my thoughts, addressing them sternly. It does not matter what is happening in our lives, we must celebrate by praising and worshipping God! Because when we do that, the enemy has no power. Not that he had much power to start with, but when we start to praise and worship God, we put a big lock in front of the enemy’s mouth so that he cannot throw around any other rubbish in our minds. Approximately one week later, after seeing the truck, I had a chat with my husband. He was talking about an electrical fault on the electricity supply at his mom’s biltong shop. I told him that it is hard to stay positive, especially when things do not work as they should. Just then he became almost discouraged with me, saying “You must not also start with this.”

I looked at him, much to my amazement and surprise, because, in general we do not talk negatively about the country and the state of things, saying how bad it is. But it IS indeed very hard to stay positive, let us just be realistic here. Especially if everything else around you feel so negative. And also, after watching a recent Carte Blanche episode, where it appears that things are not working as they should, the levels of positivity are low. My husband mentioned someone that was like the prophet of doom, being negative about something and the future and who knows what else. He finishes the conversation by saying, all he can hear in his mind, is (in English), Rejoice in the Lord, Rejoice. I looked at him in amazement and with surprise, hearing the words repeated that I read on a truck not too long ago (and actually know that I should not be surprised, because it IS God we are talking about).

It was as if it was a confirmation of that which I read on the truck the week before. I shared with him the scripture that was on the truck, and we both were just amazed at how God really works. It was as if God was just coming to remind me about everything that He stands for (as if I do not know this, but sometimes one gets so caught up in negative thoughts that one tends to forget). He provides for us in abundance. Tomorrow holds its own worries; we do not have to worry about tomorrow. God is already there, in tomorrow and the future. He knows what the best for us is.

Then I think again how I felt a year ago – last year this time. How we struggled to get into a routine after changing schools. I wonder by myself; how did I get to write blog entries? Then it is as if the Holy Spirit reminded me that I did everything between everything else. I started writing on my phone, while I was waiting for the kids, and only later I would finish the entries on my laptop. Work also happened between everything else and while I was waiting for school activities to be completed.

I don’t like working like that. Rushing from point A to point B, laptop bag over the shoulder. But it is the reality of the world that I find myself in. I am sure there are many moms that feel like this! At least I am there for my kids in the afternoons. To be able to give them their food and spray sunblock on them. To be able to sit and sweat beneath a Gazebo at the school athletics, taking pictures of them on the podium. Being there to cheer for them. Something that I never experienced as a child, because my mom had to work the whole day. I always try to use my time wisely and effectively. And between everything else, I do praise and worship God. It does not always take place at a specific time of the day. While doing work and even between work and kids, I chat with Him. Building a relationship with God, hearing from Him who created me. Trying to stay positive, even if everything around me is negative, struggling with cell phone signals between load shedding, shortened deadlines, things that just want to frustrate the living day light out of me. Between everything else, we must still CHOOSE to be positive. To be a LIGHT in this world.

Perhaps it does not feel like a year of Jubilee. For many people I recon it feels like this. It feels like challenge upon challenge, right at the beginning of the year. And that is exactly why we should continue to praise and worship God. To be joyful over His goodness! So that we can prove the contrary to the devil, that is constantly trying to throw a spanner in the works, day in and day out. I refuse to let the devil throw any spanners into my engine, causing it to cease. I will keep on keeping on. It has just taken a while to get back into routine after the December holiday. But moving forward is what I will do, while singing my praises! 2023 is the Year of Jubilee.

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Die Jubel Jaar

Hierdie is amptelik my eerste inskrywing van 2023. Ek dreig al sedert my kantore gesluit het die 15de Desember 2022 om net bietjie op te vang op inskrywings wat ek klaar geskryf het maar nie vertaal of gepubliseer het nie. En raai wat? Dit het nie gebeur nie. Dit was asof ek die Desember vakansie futloos en sonder energie was. Soos ‘n battery wat leeg was.

Ek en my bediende redeneer hieroor, sy sê sy het ook so gevoel. Als was moeite. Sy sê laggender wys dat sy dink ons word ouer. Ek bestraf sommer dit daar en dan en sê vir haar ons is nou net 40, dit kan wragties nie die ouderdom wees nie. Na ‘n vinnige geselsie met ons buurvrou (haar hond het kleintjies gekry so nou boer die Potgieters weer by die Krugers en dan as almal huise het, sien en praat ons min met hulle….my kinders is mal daaroor om klein hondjies te sien en te oooooeeeee en aaaaaaahhhhh oor die wonderwerkies wat gebore was). Nou ja, noodgedwonge stop ek die sin daar, want, ai, soos altyd, oormaat inligting. Nie te min, na ‘n gesels met die burvrou, sê sy dat hulle het ook so gevoel. Lus vir niks. So dalk is dit iets in die lug?

Hierdie jaar is veronderstel om die Jubel Jaar te wees. 2023 the year of Jubilee. Maar ai, dit voel vir my of die vyand dit net wil kom steel. Die lied in my hart, die lofsange, voel net of hulle soos mis voor die son verdwyn het. Ek voel sommer Januarie in die lug. Jy weet? Die gevoel van die gejaag wat nou weer afskop. Die atletiek atmosfeer. Die oggende wat stadig maar seker koeler begin word (al beleef ons tans ‘n hittegolf) soos wat die somer haar laaste draaie draai en een van die dae gaan oorhandig aan Herfs om te baljaar in die blare. Ek weet dis NOG NIE Herfs nie, want vet weet, dis WARM. Maar, ek kan die verandering in die lug voel. Die jaar, voel vir my, het bietjie bumpy begin. Eers slaan die weerlig my ou laptop gaar. Die keer is daar nie so baie dokumente wat ek verloor nie, maar tog waardevolle goed, veral met Beroepsvrou se admin….maar, dit is wat dit is. Dit het gebeur en ek kan niks omtrent dit doen nie.

Die week voor ons kantore heropen, besluit ek om maar aan die gang te kom met werk. Maar dit gaan sukkel-sukkel. Die skool se skryfbehoeftes het ek later gekoop as beplan, ek het nie krag vir dit gehad vroeër nie. Toe staan die sakke vol boeke en penne en wie weet wat nog rond en was soos iets wat my koggel. Dit moet nog gemerk word. Ek herroep hoe erg die vorige jaar vir my was en hoe lank dit geneem het. En dit was my verwysingsraamwerk waarop ek hierdie taak gebasseer het. Op die ou einde was dit nie so erg nie, ek het dit wel tot op nommer 99 gelos, iets wat net nie vir my werk nie. Maar nou ja. Dit daar gelaat.

Om alles te kroon, besluit ek en my man om ons dogter se kamer te begin oordoen en verf. Iets wat ons aan die begin van die vakansie wou doen. Maar nie by uitgekom het nie en ook nie lus voor was nie, want, weereens weet ons dat dit eintlik nie ‘n eenvoudige taak is nie. Nie te min, die naweek voor ons amptelik weer ons kantore open, besluit ons toe om die bul by die horings te pak. Gedurende die proses, kry my man ‘n besering aan sy voet, wat ons op daardie stadium reken, seker 6 tot 8 weke op krukke vir hom sal wees. Ten tye van die publikasie van die berig (dit klink nou fêncy soos ‘n koerantberig), was die verwagte tyd op krukke toe heelwat minder en net so 2 weke. Hy kan nou nog nie behoorlik op die voet trap nie en ook nie rond hardloop nie, maar ten minste is sy ekstra paar bene iets van die verlede en kan hy eintlik redelik soos normaal funksioneer.

Nou my lys van treurmares en moan songs gaan aan en aan, maar ek sal nie als hier herhaal en oordra nie. Die doel is glad nie om in almal se ore te kla nie. Ek deel maar frustrasies en irritasies en uitdagings. Hierdie inskrywing het ek al ‘n week of wat voor hy gepubliseer was, begin skryf. Maar kom nie daarby uit om dit klaar te maak nie. Dit begin selfs voel of die vyand tyd steel, want tyd vir alles wat ek wil doen, voel soos altyd min, skaars en few & far between. Net laasweek ry ek iewers, en dink aan hoe dit nie soos ‘n jubel jaar voel nie. Net toe ek links van my kyk, sien ek ‘n trok, van ‘n Boerdery wat sê Verbly julle in die Here.

Net daar besef ek dis die Here wat my gedagtes berispe en aanspreek. Maak nie saak wat nie, ons moet feesvier en die Here loof en prys! Want wanneer ons dit doen, het die vyand geen mag nie. Hy het geen mag gehad om mee te begin nie, en wanneer mens die Here loof en prys, snoer jy omtrent die vyand se mond sodat hy nie verdere gemors kan strooi in jou gedagtes nie. Net ongeveer een week later, na ek die trok gesien het, gesels ek en my man. Hy praat van ‘n fout op die elektrisiteit voorsiening by sy ma se biltong winkel. Ek sê vir hom dit is maar moeilik om positief te bly, veral as goed nie reg werk nie. Net daar raak hy amper moedeloos met my en sê vir my “Moet jy nie nou ook begin nie.”

Verbaas kyk ek na hom, oor die algemeen praat ons nie die land en die stand van sake sleg nie. Maar, dit IS uiteraard moeilik om positief te bly – kom ons wees maar eerlik hier. Veral as alles om jou negatief voel. En ook veral na ‘n Carte Blanche insetsel wat ons onlangs gekyk het en hoe dit oorkom asof dinge net nie werk soos dit moet nie. My man noem toe van iemand wat soos ‘n doem-profeet negatief was oor iets, en die toekoms en wie weet wat nog alles. Hy sluit af en sê al wat hy in sy gedagtes hoor is (in Engels), Rejoice in the Lord, Rejoice. Ek kyk so in verbasing na hom toe hy die woorde uiter wat ek op ‘n trok gelees het ‘n week vantevore (en eintlik weet ek dat ek nie moet nie, want dit IS die Here waarvan ons praat).

Dit was asof dit ‘n bevestiging was van dit wat ek gesien het op die trok die week van te vore. Ek deel die trok se skrif met hom en ons albei is net in verwondering oor hoe die Here nou regtig werk. Dit is asof die Here my net wil kom herinner aan alles waarvoor Hy staan (so asof ek dit nie weet nie, maar wanneer mens vasgevang voel in omstandighede dan vergeet mens maar). Voorsiening in oorvloed, kom van Hom af. Môre hou sy eie bekommernisse, ons hoef nie onsself vandag al te bekommer oor môre nie. Die Here is reeds in môre. Hy weet wat die beste is vir ons.

Dan dink ek weer aan hoe ek laas jaar gevoel het. Hoe ons gesukkel het om in roetine te kom na ons kinders na ‘n nuwe skool geskuif het. Ek wonder by myself hoe het ek dan by skryf uitgekom? Dan herinner die Heilige Gees my aan hoe ek alles tussen alles deur gedoen het. Ek het geskryf op my foon terwyl ek gewag het vir die kinders en dan later eers dit op my rekenaar klaar gemaak. Werk het ek ook tussen deur gedoen, soos wat ek sit en wag vir die kinders by skool aktiwiteite.

Ek hou nie daarvan om so te werk nie. So te jaag van punt A na punt B, laptop sak oor die skouer. Maar dis die realiteit van die wêreld waarin ek myself bevind. Ek is seker baie mamma’s voel so! Ek is ten minste daar vir my kinders naskool. Om die kossies te gee en sunblock te spuit. Om te sit en sweet onder ‘n Gazebo by die Huissport, foto’s te kan neem van my kinders op die podium. Daar te wees om vir hulle te cheer. Iets wat ek nooit as kind ervaar het nie, want my ma moes voldag werk. Ek probeer altyd my tyd effektief gebruik. En tussen alles deur, loof en prys ek tog die Here. Dit vind nie altyd op ‘n spesifieke tyd plaas nie. Tussen werk deur en selfs terwyl ek werk, gesels ek met Hom. Bou ek verhouding, hoor ek by Hom wat my geskape het. Probeer ek positief bly, al is alles om my negatief en sukkel ons met selfoon seine tussen beurtkrag deur, verkorte sperdatums, goed wat net die wit waks uit mens uit frustreer. Tussen dit alles, moet ons steeds aanhou KIES om positief te wees. Om LIG te wees in die wêreld.

Dit voel dalk nie soos ‘n Jubel Jaar nie. Vir baie mense reken ek voel dit so. Dit voel soos uitdaging op uitdaging, so aan die begin van die jaar. En dis presies hoekom ons moet aanhou om die Here te loof en te prys. Te jubel oor Sy goedertierenheid! Sodat ons die teendeel kan wys vir die duiwel, wat ‘n spanner in the works probeer gooi, dag in en dag uit. Ek weier dat die duiwel se spanners my enjin sal laat cease. Aanhou sal ek aanhou. Dit het net weer ‘n rukkie geneem om in die roetine te kom na die Desember vakansie. Maar beweeg sal ek beweeg en sing sal ek sing! 2023 is the Year of Jubilee.

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The Ethics training

It is December 2022. I vowed to finish this Ethics training, which I rolled my eyes to (or is it for?) when the requirements were sent through by SAICA, and I committed to bring it up to date by end of December 2022. Well, all that I can say is that life keeps on happening! My word. I really don’t know how one is supposed to fit everything into a very busy schedule and maintain the balance!

On a cold and rainy day in December, when no one can splash around in the pool, sending me on a pity party because I have to do this training, while everyone else is relaxing, I decided to take on this training thing. What I realised now, is, when I started this training, it feels that I actually approached and did this incorrectly. But, then again, I don’t think there is a right and a wrong way to do this?

In my previous entries that I wrote about this Ethics training, and my experience with it, my focus was more on the journaling side of it, it seems. The part where your brain is stretched a bit. I did do some of the other things in between, watching the videos and so forth, but, my focus was more on the journal side of things it seemed. Which is probably also not wrong, is it? I mean, I experienced it as wonderful and fantastic! Because all the questions that are asked, that you must write about, lets you think, which is wonderful in my opinion! I did not work through all the other documents in detail and in depth. So maybe I should not place the cart before the horses and just do the journaling side of things. I should rather do it systematic, month by month, just like my Boxwood personality loves to do things. The other thing I realised now, is, I cannot do 12 months worth of training in a day. It is designed in such a way to do little-by-little over a longer period….

I then decided to back track with my training, because, you see, after doing each month’s training, you have to answer a few questions to obtain a training certificate. Now this certificate is the most important thing in terms of worldly requirements. This is my proof that I did this thing. I restarted at month two, reading through all the documents, watching all the videos and skipping the journaling side of things, because this has been done. All of these things are very convenient, by the way, and can be done in any way suitable. Either an app on my phone or with an internet link to a website on my computer, available for me anywhere and anytime. I did at some stage, save everything on my Google Drive which also makes it more convenient to access and print as and when needed.

Lynette Berger was so nice to still give me access to this, even if my twelve months since I started this thing, had expired. I am not sure if I am allowed to say this out loud and in the open like I have. But, here it is now! Said and done. Sorry Lynette, if I am the reason for your inbox to overflow with requests after people read this entry.

The documents, which I think, must have taken hours to put together by Probeta, under supervision of Lynette Berger (I am not entirely sure how the structures work there), made me realise just again, how this course fits in with the Pink Feathers of Beroepsvrou. There was absolutely NO way that myself or Lynette and her team, could have known in any way possible, from each other and the content of that which God revealed to us in unique ways and on our different platforms.

The content, it feels, is spot on, page after page. The parts where you have to analyse and dissect your Tall Trees profile, taking it apart, forming and working on being a better person. One of the headings or topics that stood out to me was under the heading Feed your faith and starve your fears. It was month 3 if I remember correctly. WOW. How true is this statement? While reading the content under this heading, it all comes back to what we are feeding ourselves. Emotionally and spiritually. Sounds a bit like my story on the flamingos….I cannot help but to want to give God a fist pump for this, and the fact that He allowed me to discover this course.

Attitudes and outlooks on life is contagious. If you surround yourself with negative people – guess what will happen? You will become one big heap of negativity!! This is exactly how it works in life and here it is, black on white in their notes. I realise just again, how manageable this course actually is. It is our job to ensure that we do not leave everything to the last minute. It took me a few hours to work through a few months’ information. So why do I not do a little every day? 15 minutes daily is manageable is it not?

I just think, in my case, I am so over eager to learn everything, that 15 minutes is not enough. When I find myself again, I am spending hours on these things, working through everything, all while the day job is waiting. Maybe I am over thinking this whole course? Maybe I must set a time limit for myself? Another thing that I also misinterpreted was, the 5 minute ethics moments documents – I thought (I actually do not know what I thought, because clearly I did not think) but, it felt to me that they are all the same. That is probably the reason why I did not read through it in depth…?

Only after further investigation, I saw that the first few paragraphs, which explains the process to be followed, step-by-step, (and is probably aimed at trainees in my opinion), are the same, and then, on page two, somewhere in the middle, the new topics start that must be read, thought about and be answered. It feels that the commentary and statements to be thought about, becomes deeper and more intense as the months progress. Here too I think that God is talking to me, Elsie, directly about my prerequisites – that I am lying to myself, if I think that I am going to feel better about myself and life if certain boxes are checked off.

Now I don’t think that they are trying to say stop everything that you are doing and trying to achieve, because, at the end of the day, that what you are busy doing in your life is what forms a person, to become that which God had planned long ago for each individual on this earth. I do not want to say too much about this, but, there is so much truth that I saw and experienced in this, especially about the anxiety. If you do not live in the present moment, then you tend to live a very anxious life. Ask me!! Been there and done that. I also know people that are still like this. Anxious about what can happen and what happened in the past. I used to live for one day. so much so, that I was missing life and when I woke up one day I was almost 40! It still hurts to think that I missed a bit of my life with this outlook, but, thank God that He woke me up to this. I stopped living for one day and started living in the present moment.

I still have not answered all the questions and reflective moments on all the documents, but, I read through all the content, watched the short videos between 5 and 10 minutes long. Here and there, there is a video that is longer, and this is normally when I approach the Treadmill or switch on the speaker while I am showering and putting on make up. I answered my assessment questions and am now the proud owner of a few Ethical CPD certificates. Enough to satisfy those that do inspections. Enough to satisfy me that I have done what I could with the time available to me. And I just want to add here, that, I am not being hard on myself here. This is reality, there is really no mercy from the professional institutions that we belong to, if you did not comply! Penalties, disciplinary hearings and who knows what else normally lie ahead if you did not do what was expected of you.

This achievement feels like a fist pump moment. With who I do not know, because, I am the only one that has these requirements within our firm. My husband does not understand all the intricate detail of these requirements, but, he supports me when I have to do these things. Even if it is supposed to be holiday time. But it is nice, I enjoy it. Yes, you can say it – I am a nerd and a sucker for these type of things that allow me to develop myself better. Because I just know, that this has a greater impact on my life and the direction that Beroepsvrou is taking. More than what I will ever know or realise. I also realised that my brain was a bit tired after doing three months’ worth of things in one day, and I decided to let it be. I will take on the rest, day-by-day and bit-by-bit in the new year. I know better now what this entails, feeling more comfortable about what to expect and now I know how to approach this. If I could put an emoji here now, it would be the little arm that is flexing his muscles, ready for action.

I truly hope that this entry (of my journey with this training, that felt like the elephant in the room) will inspire someone out there to sign up for this course. Don’t let all the documents and downloads and content overwhelm you. Approach it like you would when eating an elephant (hypothetically speaking of course) – bit-by-bit and day-by-day. Some days you will be able to take on the entire trunk and other days just a little block. But, when you look again, you made progress from the trunk to the tail! Then you would have addressed the elephant in the room. Just do it! Don’t over think it!! You are investing in your life and the best of it all is, the expenses you incurred, are a tax deductible, legit expense (in my case it is because I operate a business – if you earn a salary…maybe not so much). You get hours that count towards your CPD, without the content boring you. It will not provide eye-rolling moments while you are doing this. In my opinion, it is a win-win situation – what are you waiting for?

Die Etiese opleiding
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Die Etiese opleiding

Dit is Desember 2022. Ek het voorgeneem om hierdie deurlopende etiese opleiding, waarvoor ek my oë gerol het toe die vereiste deur kom van SAICA af, op datum te bring teen einde Desember 2022. Wel, al wat ek kan sê is dat die lewe die heeltyd gebeur! Liewe aarde. Ek weet eerlik nie hoe mens veronderstel is om alles in te pas en die balans te handhaaf nie.

Nie te min, ek besluit toe wel op ‘n reënerige dag in Desember, toe dit koeler is, en niemand in die swembad kan baljaar, en my op ‘n pity party laat gaan, omdat ek opleiding moet doen, terwyl almal ontspan nie, om maar tog hierdie opleidingsding verder aan te pak. Wat ek wel nou besef is dat ek eintlik dit heeltemal verkeerd gedoen het, voel dit vir my. Maar, dan weer, daar is seker nie ‘n regte of verkeerde manier nie??

Die meerderheid, waaroor ek reeds geskryf het, van die hele Etiese opleiding en my ervaring van dit, was die journaling gedeelte, die deel waar jou brein so bietjie gerek word. Ek het wel van die ander goedjies tussen in gedoen, video’s gekyk, maar my fokus was eintlik meer op die journaling deel voel dit vir my. Wat seker nie verkeerd is nie? Ek meen, ek het dit as wonderlik en fantasties ervaar! Want die vrae wat gevra word wat jy oor moet skryf laat ‘n mens nogals dink….wat wonderlik is! Ek het wel nie in detail en diepte deur al die ander dokumente ook gewerk nie. So miskien moet ek nie die wa voor die perde span en net die joernaal inskrywings doen nie, maar eerder dit sistematies en maand vir maand doen soos wat my Sierboom maar hou van om te doen. Die ander ding wat ek ook geleer het en weet, is ek moet nie 12 maande se opleiding in ‘n dag probeer doen nie. Dis juis so ontwerp om bietjie-vir-bietjie te doen oor ‘n langer tydperk…

Ek besluit toe om te back track met my opleiding, want, jy sien, na elke maand se opleiding, moet jy ‘n paar vrae antwoord om ‘n sertifikaat te bekom. En die sertifikaat is nou in wêreldse terme die belangrikste ding ooit. Dis my bewys dat ek hierdie goed gedoen het. Ek begin toe maar weer by maand twee. Lees deur die dokumente, alles is heel gerieflik op ‘n toepassing op my foon, of met ‘n internet skakel op ‘n webblad op my rekenaar, beskikbaar vir my enige tyd wat ek dit wil doen. Ek het wel gegaan en alles op my Google Drive gestoor, wat dit ook baie gerieflik maak om uit te druk en so meer.

Lynette Berger was so gaaf gewees om my nog toegang te gee, al het my twaalf maande periode sedert ek die proses begin het verstryk. Ek weet ook nou nie of ek hierdie hardop en so openlik mag genoem het nie. Maar nou ja!! Hier is dit nou – sorry Lynette as ek jou e-posse nou laat oorloop het van versoeke na mense die inskrywing gelees het.

Al die dokumente, wat ek dink, ure geneem het om bymekaar te sit deur ProBeta, onder toesig van Lynette Berger (ek is nou nie presies seker hoe hul strukture daar werk nie), laat my net besef, van voor af hoe hierdie kursus aansluit by die Pienk Vere van Beroepsvrou. Daar was absoluut GEEN manier dat ek of Lynette en haar span, enigsins kon weet van mekaar en die inhoud van dit wat die Here aan ons openbaar het op ons unieke maniere en platforms nie.

Die inhoud voel of dit kolskoot tref bladsy na bladsy. Die gedeeltes waar jy so bietjie jou Tall Trees profiel analiseer en dissekteer, uitmekaar trek en begin vorm en werk aan om ‘n beter mens te wees. Een van die opskrifte of onderwerpe wat my bygeval het was onder die opskrif Feed your faith and starve your fears. Dit was maand 3 dink ek. WOW. Hoe waar is dit nie net nie? Toe ek verder onder dit gaan lees gaan dit alles oor waarmee ons onsself voer. Emosioneel, geestelik. Klink vir my maar so bietje soos my flamink storie….ek kan nie anders as om die Here ‘n fist pump te wil gee vir dit en die feit dat Hy my hierdie kursus laat ontdek het nie.

Houdings en uitkyke is aansteeklik. As jy jouself met negatiewe mense omring – raai wat? Jy gaan een groot hopie van negatiwiteit word!! Dis presies hoe dit werk in die lewe en hier is dit swart op wit in hul notas. Ek besef nou net weer hoe haalbaar hierdie kursus eintlik is. Dit is ons werk om te sorg dat ons nie alles los tot op die laaste nippertjie nie. Dit het my vandag ‘n paar uur geneem om deur ‘n paar maande se goed te werk. So hoekom doen ek nie net elke dag ‘n bietjie nie? 15 minute daagliks is mos haalbaar?

Ek dink in my geval is ek so oorgretig om alles te leer, dat 15 minute te min is. As ek myself weer kry, spandeer ek ure op goed, werk deur alles, terwyl die day job wag. Miskien over think ek die hele kursus? Miskien moet ek vir myself ‘n tyd limiet stel? Wat ek wel ook misinterpreteer het aan die begin, is, die 5 minute ethics moments se dokumente – ek het gedink (weet eintlik nie wat ek gedink het nie, want duidelik het ek nie gedink nie) maar, dit het vir my gevoel hulle is almal dieselfde. En dis seker die rede hoekom ek nie in diepte deur alles gelees het nie…?

Eers na verdere ondersoek, het ek gesien die eerste klomp paragrawe, wat die proses wat gevolg moet word stap-vir-stap verduidelik, (en eintlik meer op klerke gerig is dink ek), dieselfde is en dan op bladsy twee, in die middel rond, begin die nuwe goed wat jy moet lees, oordink en beantwoord. Dit voel vir my dat die kommentaar en oordenkinge so bietjie dieper en meer intens word soos wat die maande vorder. Ek dink hier het die Here ook direk met my as Elsie gepraat met my voorvereistes – dat ek vir myself jok as ek dink dat ek eers beter oor myself en die lewe gaan voel as sekere boksies afgemerk is.

Nou ek dink nie hulle probeer sê stop alles wat jy doen en probeer vermag nie, want op die ou einde van die dag, is die ‘n vormingsproses en dit wat jy doen in jou lewe is besig om jou te vorm, om te word dit wat die Here lankal reeds bepaal het vir elke indivvidu op hierdie aarde. Ek wil nie te veel uitlaat oor alles nie, maar ek het soveel waarheid in soveel goed ervaar, veral die oor angs. As jy nie in die present moment leef nie, lei jy maar eintlik net een ongelooflike aaklige angstige lewe! Vra my! Been there and done that. Ek ken ook mense wat steeds so is. Angstig oor wat kan gebeur en oor wat gebeur het in die verlede. Ek het op ‘n stadium so geleef vir een dag, dat ek my lewe gemis het. En wragties, een dag, toe ek wakker word, toe is ek amper 40! Ek dank die Here elke dag dat Hy my wel wakker gemaak het om op te hou so lewe! Ek voel steeds soms spyt dat ek dele van my lewe gemis het, maar, dit is wat dit is, ek het iets geleer, aanbeweeg en ophou om so te lewe.

Ek het steeds nie alles op hierdie reflektiewe dokumente geantwoord nie, maar het deur al die inhoud gelees, die kort videos van tussen 5 en 10 minute lank gekyk. Hier en daar is daar ‘n langer video tussen in, en dis dan wanneer ek die Treadmill nader of die luidspreker aansit terwyl ek stort en grimering aansit. Ek het wel my vrae op die assessments (wat is dit tog in Afrikaans?) geantwoord en is nou die trotse eienaar van ‘n paar Etiese CPD sertifikate. Genoeg om almal tevrede te hou. Genoeg om myself tevrede te hou dat ek wel gedoen het wat ek kon met die tyd tot my beskikking. Hier wil ek ook net noem, dat, ek nie hard op myself is nie. Die vereistes van die professionele institusies waaraan ek behoort is genadeloos. As jy nie doen wat daar van jou verwag word nie, gaan jy boetes hê, dissiplinêre verhore moet bywoon en wie weet wat nog alles. Dis ongelukkig hoe dit is in ons professie – die vereistes is baie, soms te veel om te hanteer. Maar deur God se genade, maak ek dit nog elke jaar.

Hierdie voel soos ‘n fist pump oomblik, met wie, weet ek nie, want dis net ek wat hierdie vereiste het in my firma. My man verstaan nie al die draadwerk nie, maar ondersteun my soos wat ek hierdie goed moet doen. Al is dit veronderstel om vakansie te wees. Maar dis lekker, ek geniet dit. Ja, jy kan maar dit sê – ek is ‘n nerd en ‘n sucker vir iets soos die wat myself beter ontwikkel. Want ek weet net, die het ‘n groter impak in my lewe en waarheen Beroepsvrou oppad is as wat ek ooit sal kan dink en besef. Ek het ook verder agter gekom my brein was bietjie moeg na ek 3 maande se goed in een dag opgevang het, en het besluit om dit daar te laat en die res aan te pak, dag-vir-dag en bietjie-vir-bietjie in die nuwe jaar. Ek weet nou beter wat dit behels, weet wat om te verwag en weet hoe om dit nou aan te pak. As ek nou hier ‘n emoji kon insit, sou dit die armpie wees wat sy spiere flex, reg vir aksie.

Ek hoop regtig dat hierdie inskrywings (van my pad met hierdie opleiding, wat soos ‘n elephant in the room gevoel het) iemand daar buite sal inspireer en oortuig om tog maar op te teken vir die kursus. Moet nie dat al die downloads en goed jou oorweldig nie. Maak met dit soos wat jy ‘n olifant eet (spreekwoordelik gesê natuurlik) – stukkie vir stukkie, dag vir dag. Sommige dae sal jy die hele slurp kan aanpak en ander kere net ‘n kleine ou blokkie. Maar as jy jou weer kry, het jy van slurp tot stert vordering gemaak. Dan is die elephant in the room aangespreek en uitgesorteer. Doen dit net! Moet nie dit oordink nie!! Jy investeer in jou eie lewe en die beste van alles is, dis ‘n belasting-aftrekbare, wettige uitgawe (vir my is dit omdat ek my eie besigheid bedryf, as jy salaris verdien….wel, ek is nie so seker van dit nie) en ure wat tel vir jou CPD sonder om jou te verveel en oog rol oomblikke te verskaf. In my opinie is dit ‘n wen-wen situasie – waarvoor wag jy nog?

The Ethics training
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Hard labour and the gift

As the year is closing and coming to an end, everyone seems to feel exhausted and over worked, and one cannot have a feeling but to spoil yourself with a little something special. You earned it right? You worked hard this year! Then the devil normally comes, sowing doubt in your mind about that which you think you want to buy for yourself. He even sows doubt after a nice meal you enjoyed. You know? When you spend money on something, rather than being more responsible with it.

My goodness, then you just do not feel good after doing something like this. Even if there was nothing wrong with what you did. Guilt and shame overwhelms you. Just there and then. You try to convince yourself otherwise and that you did work hard and deserve it, but there is no mercy. At the end of the day, you just feel like you do not have the boldness and freedom to do something for yourself, and then you end up not doing it anyway. On top of that, you feel guilty for having that thought (even if you did not follow through with it).

This is how I felt for many years about many things. Felt I am not allowed to purchase new clothes, have a meal in a restaurant with my family, even the house we are living in made me feel guilty (and it is not a magazine house, but, it offers a safe place and a place to sleep for each one of us – big enough for everyone to have their own space). The list felt endless. But then I came across this scripture. From Ecclesiastes (for the life of me I did not know what Prediker was in English! I had to look it up in the Bible again!)  and also that every man should eat and drink and see and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God. (Amplified version). WOW. What a wonderful piece of scripture!

The something that you feel you want to do AND enjoy, you are ALLOWED to do, because that is a gift from God. What this tells me, the long and the short of it is, if you applied hard labour during the year, and you enjoy the good that comes with this, then you receive a gift from God. This is so profound and I am not saying go and spend all your money on yourself and walk away from your responsibilities. Not at all! But enjoy it, when you do something like this.

I want to leave everyone reading this entry with the following – it is now December. Some people are paid bonusses, and others perhaps not. Some receive a thirteenth cheque (yes I know, cheques do not exist anymore, but we all speak of it in this manner), others receive a smaller bonus, a little something extra. If you received a bonus or not, do not feel guilty about the remuneration that you received. If you worked hard, really HARD during the year, then there is nothing wrong with enjoying it.

Whether you pay your debts or whether you buy something for yourself that you always wanted. Perhaps you only drink a milkshake. It does not matter, use the gift that God has given to you through your hard labour. It was a long year for everyone. Everyone is exhausted… This is officially the last entry that I will do that deals with the scriptures on the very first desk pad that I designed and sold through Beroepsvrou. What a journey it has been!! There will be more in 2023 – new year and new bible verses! Watch this space! May you and your loved ones have a Blessed Christmas. Be safe, enjoy the gift that God has given us. Rest well so that we can take on the new year with new courage and energy! 2023 is the year of Jubilee!

Moeitevolle Arbeid en die gawe
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Moeitevolle Arbeid en die gawe

Soos wat die jaar einde se kant toe staan, en almal moeg geploeg is (werksgewys), kan ons nie anders as om soms te voel ons wil onsself bederf met ietsie nie. Jy verdien dit mos? Jy het hard gewerk. Dan kom die duiwel en saai twyfel in jou hart oor dit wat jy dink jy vir jouself wil koop. Hy kom saai selfs twyfel as jy iets gedoen het soos om lekker kos te eet. Jy weet? Wanneer jy geld op iets spandeer het, eerder as om iets meer verantwoordelik met die geld te doen.

Liewe aarde, dan voel mens sommer net nie lekker na jy so iets gedoen het nie. Al was daar niks verkeerd met dit wat jy gedoen het nie. Guilt and shame oorweldig jou. Net daar en dan. Jy probeer teen dit redeneer dat jy wel hard werk en jy dit mag doen en verdien, maar daar is geen genade nie. Op die ou einde van die dag voel jy net nie of jy die vrymoedigheid het om iets te doen vir jouself nie en dan eindig jy gewoonlik op om dit nie te doen nie. Bo op dit, voel jy skuldig omdat jy daaraan gedink het (en nie eens noodwendig deurgevoer het nie).

So het ek gevoel vir baie jare oor baie goed. Gevoel ek mag nie nuwe klere koop nie, gaan uiteet nie, selfs in die huis bly waarin ons bly het my skuldig laat voel (en dis nie ‘n tydskrif huis nie, maar, bied skuiling vir ons en slaap plek vir elke gesinslid – genoeg vir almal om hul eie spasie te geniet). Die lysie voel eindeloos. Maar toe kom ek op die skrif gedeelte af. Uit Prediker uit. En ook — dat elke mens eet en drink en die goeie geniet by al sy moeitevolle arbeid; dit is ‘n gawe van God. Prediker 3:13 (Afrikaans 53 vertaling). WOW. Wat ‘n awesome stukkie skrif!

Die ietsie wat jy voel jy wil doen EN geniet MAG jy doen, want dit is ‘n gawe van God af! Die lang en die kort wat dit vir my sê is, as jy moeitevolle arbeid toegepas het, en die goeie geniet wat saam met dit gaan, ontvang jy ‘n gawe van God af. Dis vir my so profound en ek sê nou nie gaan spandeer al jou geld op jouself en kom nie jou verpligtinge na nie! Nee, glad nie!

Ek wil elkeen wat die lees los met dit – dis nou Desember. Sommige mense kry bonusse en ander dalk nie. Sommige kry ‘n dertiende tjek (ja ek weet, tjeks bestaan nie meer nie, maar ons almal praat maar nog so), ander kry net ‘n kleiner bonus, ‘n ietsie ekstra. Of jy nou ‘n bonus kry of nie, moet nie skuldig voel oor die bonus of salaris wat jy gekry het nie. As jy hard gewerk het, regtig HARD gewerk het deur die jaar, dan is daar nie fout daarmee om dit te kan geniet nie.

Al gebruik jy dit om skuld te betaal, of vir jouself ‘n ietsie te koop wat jy altyd wou gehad het met dit. Of jy drink dalk net ‘n melkskommel. Dit maak nie saak nie, gebruik die gawe wat die Here vir jou gee deur jou moeitevolle arbeid! Dit was ‘n lang jaar vir almal gewees, almal is moeg geploeg… Hierdie is amptelik die laaste inskrywing wat te doen het met die heel eerste desk pad wat ek ontwerp het en verkoop het deur Beroepsvrou. Wat ‘n belewenis was dit nie net gewees nie! Daar gaan nog stukke wees in 2023 – nuwe jaar en nuwe bybelverse! Hou die spasie dop! Ek bid vir jou en jou gesin ‘n Geseënde Kerstyd toe en dat julle die gawes van God sal geniet. Wees veilig, rus goed sodat die nuwe jaar met nuwe moed en energie aangepak kan word. 2023 is the year of Jubilee.

Hard labour and the gift
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The word

So I have been walking around with a word in my mind, since last week sometime. The word? Benevolence. Now, for a primarily Afrikaans speaking person, this is a big word. Something that does not form part of my vocabulary at all. I had to go and google the word to see what it meant. The word came to me in English too. Something that does not happen often.

My entries normally start in Afrikaans, my thoughts about it and what I feel God wants me to write are all usually in Afrikaans. But this time it was different. Everything happened in English. I have been carrying this word in my mind, asking God what He wants me to write about it. When something like this is on my mind as much as this was, then I just KNOW I have to write about it.

Of course, when you google the meaning, it means the quality of being well meaning, kindness. I left it there, because what am I supposed to do with this? I KNOW God is Benevolent, so to write about that was a bit of a challenge to me, because what am I supposed to write? The Bible is full of testimonies of God being a Benevolent God.

You see how I have now made this word part of my vocabulary? I have to chuckle at this, a word I have never used before was used more than once in a paragraph. Anyway, I am getting distracted again!

Now before I got the word Benevolence, I had been feeling something in my spirit. I could not quite place my finger on it, because it is a feeling I have felt before but also not felt before, saying all of that in the same breath. I have this agitation hanging over me like a cloud.

I am just so irritated with everything and everyone, why I don’t know. From the dogs, to the parrot, the hamster, the kids, the authorities and their ridiculous requirements for us as CA’s and everything (and everyone) in between was agitating me. This is not normal behavior to me, this is something that I had laid off years ago, yet now it is surfacing again. almost like it is coming up to breathe. Why I could not say.

Then God sent me this word. Everywhere in my mind, I see the word and I am reminded of it. Almost like in life, when you notice something, you NOTICE it if you know what I mean? Like a car brand, once you become aware of it, you see it EVERYWHERE! Now this was the same with this word.

If I have to put this into a picture for you of how it was, it would be as follows – in my mind, I saw it written on a banner, then a billboard, then a road sign next to the road, on pieces of paper, even the mushrooms popping up in the grass seemed to spell Benevolence. That is how in my face it was (only in my mind not physically around me).

This morning I realised WHY God gave me this word. You see, I have a teenager in the house and a little tween, who is becoming a tween too quickly according to me, because she is only 8 years of age. Man oh man, did I forget the knowledge that one supposedly possess at the age of 8 and 13 years.

Being benevolent with them has become a challenge. The arguments of how they think something works and must be, when I know it does not work that way. The attitude that I get when I only put in a sandwich for school (this is the tween by the way) and not something else. Or when I put in the something else in a lunch box that is not to her liking, then all things benevolent fly out the door.

Or when the teenager argues about a steering wheel accessory for the X-Box (yes, we purchased one, something that we said we would NEVER do – well, never say NEVER). And when it is installed and plugged in, it does not work as expected. Something which we told him would happen. Him putting it to one side, because it does not work as he had thought it would, wasting money on something like that not being used. When this happens, all benevolence runs out the door, trying to set a new world record for 100 metre sprints, trying to beat Usain Bolt’s world record.

So here I am. Guilty as charged. Not showing benevolence. I realise that God is pressing very hard on my heart to work on this. I have to use the tools that He is providing. The tools I am referring to, are the Tall Trees Ethics Training from ProBeta and Hettie Brittz. The latest addition to my tools, is the EI Activator, which is an add-on or plug in if I may refer to it in that way (and use some computer lingo, something that I have limited knowledge of), to the Tall Trees Ethics Training.

All of these things take time. It feels like life is happening, not allowing me to get to explore these tools. Lucky for me, it is now a requirement to do Ethics training to remain a CA. That is the reason WHY I chose something useful and purposeful like the Tall Trees Ethics Training and EI Activator. And yes, I say it like that now, because, I decided to look for the positive in this requirement, rather than sitting on the sidewalk, with my can of worms, complaining about the requirements.

I truly hope (and deep down know) that I will find benevolence when I start exploring, dissecting and excavating the field of EI Activator. The ground work and tone is being set in the Tall Trees Ethics Training, I just have to finish that (said tongue in the cheek because I am on month 4 and I have forgotten what was said, so I am probably going to have to redo it all in any way, before I can answer the questions to obtain the CPD certificate), so that I can move on to the EI Activator part of the expedition that I am finding myself in.

I know I have not been Benevolent, this is not God’s plan for me, to not be Benevolent. Let us take up the challenge with the teens and tweens in our house, the authorities, the pets and everything in between. Let us use Benevolence as our tool in this challenge. Benevolence – noun – the quality of being well meaning; kindness. How Benevolent are you?

Die woord
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Die woord

Sedert laas week een of ander tyd, loop ek rond met ‘n woord in my gedagtes. Die woord? Benevolence. Nou vir ‘n primêre Afrikaans-sprekende persoon, is die ‘n groot woord. Dis nie iets wat enigsins deel vorm van my woordeskat nie. Ek moes gaan google wat dit beteken, want ek het nie ‘n clue gehad wat dit beteken nie. Die woord het ook so, in Engels, na my toe gekom. Iets wat nie gereeld gebeur nie.

My inskrywings begin gewoonlik in Afrikaans, my gedagtes rondom dit en wat ek voel die Here wil hê ek moet skryf oor iets, gebeur alles in Afrikaans. Maar hierdie keer was dit anders. Alles het in Engels gebeur. Ek het selfs die inskrywing in Engels eerste gedoen, waar ek gewoonlik dit in Afrikaans eerste doen. Ek loop met hierdie woord in my gedagtes en ek vra God wat Hy wil hê ek daaroor moet skryf. Wanneer iets so konstant in my gedagtes is, dan WEET ek net dat ek daaroor moet skryf.

Natuurlik, toe ek die woord gaan google sien ek toe wat dit beteken. Dit is die kwaliteit van goedgesindheid, vriendelikheid. Hier het ek nou net sommer direk die Engelse betekenis vertaal, ek glo dis reg. Ek WEET God is Benevolent, so om hieroor te skryf is so bietjie van ‘n uitdaging vir my, want wat is ek nou veronderstel om te skryf? Die Bybel is dan propvol beloftes en getuienisse van God wat ‘n Benevolent God is.

Sien jy nou hoe ek daardie woord deel gemaak het van my woordeskat? Al is dit die Engelse woord. Ek moet giggel vir dit, ‘n woord wat ek nooit voorheen gebruik het nie, gebruik ek sommer oor en oor in een paragraaf. Ek wonder wat is die Afrikaans vir Benevolence? Ek raak distracted, ek weet. Maar ek het gou dit gaan google en die Afrikaanse woord is Welwillendheid. Wie sou kon raai dat dit die woord in Afrikaans is? Die Engelse een klink beter (en meer fêncy) so ek gaan maar aanhou om hom te gebruik.

Nou voor ek die woord Benevolence gekry het, het ek iets in my gees gevoel. Ek kon nie heeltemal my vinger op dit plaas nie, want dis ‘n gevoel wat ek voorheen gehad het maar ook nie, so in dieselfde asem gesê. Ek het hierdie irritasie wat soos ‘n wolk oor my hang.

Ek is net so geirriteerd met alles en almal, hoekom weet ek nie. Van die honde, tot die pappagaai, die hamster, die kinders, die owerhede en hul belaglike vereistes vir ons as CA’s en enige iets (en iemand) tussen in, het my geirriteer. Dit is nie normale gedrag vir my nie, want dit is iets wat ek jare gelede al afgelê het. Maar nou is dit asof dit opkom om asem te skep. Hoekom weet ek nie.

Toe stuur God vir my hierdie woord. Orals in my gedagtes sien ek die woord en word ek herinner daaraan. Amper soos in die lewe, wanneer jy iets opmerk, dan SIEN JY DIT ORAL as jy verstaan wat ek bedoel? Soos ‘n tipe kar, as jy eers bewus word van dit, dan sien jy dit ORAL! Nou dit was dieselfde met hierdie woord.

As ek dit nou in ‘n prentjie moet skets vir jou van hoe dit was, sou ek sê dit was as volg – in my gedagtes, sien ek dit op ‘n bannier, dan op ‘n billboard, dan ‘n padteken langs die pad, op stukke papier, selfs die sampioene wat in die gras opspring voel of dit Benevolence spel. Dis hoe in my face dit was (in my gedagtes natuurlik, nie regtig fisies om my nie).

Vanoggend besef ek HOEKOM God die woord vir my gegee het. Jy sien, ek het ‘n tiener in die huis, asook ‘n tween, een wat te vinnig na my smaak ‘n tween begin word, want sy is nou eers 8 jaar oud. Mense ouers, het ek nou vir jou vergeet hoe propvol kennis mens is op die ouderdom van 8 en 13 jaar!

Om met hulle benevolent te wees, het ‘n groot uitdaging geword. Die argumente van hoe hulle dink iets moet wees en werk, wanneer ek weet dit werk nie so nie. Die houding wat ek kry wanneer ek net ‘n kosblik met ‘n toeba inpak vir skool (dis nou die tween net so tussen ons wat my hier houding gee) en nie ook iets anders insit nie. Of wanneer ek wel iets anders insit, in ‘n kosblik wat sy nie van hou nie, dan vlieg alle dinge benevolent by die deur uit.

Of wanneer die tiener stry oor ‘n stuurwiel accessory vir die X-Box (ja, ons het een gekoop, iets wat ons gesê het ons NOOIT sal doen nie – wel, never say NEVER). En wanneer dit geinstalleer en ingeprop is en nie werk soos die verwagting is nie. Iets wat ons vir hom gesê het sou gebeur. Hy wat dit een kant toe skuif, want dit werk nie soos hy gedink het dit sal nie, besig om geld te mors op iets wat nie gebruik kan en gaan word nie. Wanneer dit gebeur, dan is dit asof elke stukkie benevolence by die deur uit hardloop, ‘n nuwe wêreld rekord vir die 100 meter probeer opstel en Usain Bolt’s se wêreld rekord probeer breek.

So hier is ek. Guilty as charged. Ek wys nie benevolence nie. Ek besef dat God dit hard op my hart druk om hieraan te werk. Ek moet elke stukkie gereedskap gebruik wat Hy besig is om te voorsien. Die gereedskap waarvan ek praat is die Tall Trees Ethics Training van ProBeta en Hettie Brittz. Die nuutste toevoeging tot my gereedskap is die EI Activator, wat ek sien as ‘n add-on of plug in (as ek nou rekenaar taal kan gebruik, waarvan ek ook beperkte kennis het) tot die Tall Trees Ethics Training.

Hierdie dinge vat tyd. Dit voel of die lewe net gebeur en my nie toelaat om hierdie gereedskap te ontdek nie. Gelukkig is dit nou ‘n vereiste om Etiese Opleiding te doen om ‘n CA te bly. Dit is die rede HOEKOM ek iets nuttig en opbouend soos die Tall Trees Ethics Training en EI Activator gekies het. En ja, ek sê dit nou so, want, ek het besluit om eerder die positiewe in hierdie vereiste te gaan soek, eerder as om op die sypaadjie met my blikkie wurms te gaan sit en kla oor die vereistes.

Ek hoop werklik (en diep binne my weet ek) dat ek benevolence sal vind wanneer ek begin ontdek, dissekteer en uitgrawe in die veld van EI Activator. Die grond werk word gedoen en die toon word gestel deur die Tall Trees Ethics Training, ek moet dit net klaar maak (tong in die kies gesê, want ek is by maand 4 en ek het al lankal vergeet wat gesê was so ek gaan alles dalk weer oor moet doen voor ek my vragies kan antwoord om my sertifikaat te kry), sodat ek kan aanbeweeg na die EI Activator deel van die ekspedisie waar ek myself tans bevind.

Ek weet ek was nie Benevolent nie, dis nie God se plan vir my om nie Benevolent te wees nie. Kom ons vat die uitdaging aan, met die tieners en tweens in ons huise, die owerhede, die troeteldiere en alles tussen in. Laat ons Benevolence as ons gereedskap gebruik in hierdie uitdaging. Benevolence – noun – the quality of being well meaning; kindness. Hoe Benevolent is jy?

The word
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Head vs. Tail

As I was walking through our local shopping centre the other day, I could just feel the end of the year in the air. You know, a vibe that is in the air, around November and December, not at any other time of the year. It feels as if life is just happening all the time, with time flying by and when you wake up one morning, it is past mid-November.

Another year is almost over. Another year to reflect on. What happened? Highlights and low-lights (is this the right word to use for something negative that happened?). This is the nostalgic time of the year. Something that I am not fond of, because it implies that I am yet again, another year older. In my mind I am still a 28 year old. I am not sure if I still look like a 28 year old, or even a thirty-something-year-old… but I still feel young for what it is worth.

This month’s scripture on the desk pad is from Deuteronomy (if you still don’t know what it is about – feel free to visit my online shop, order one and then you too will have something pretty for your work desk and then you will understand why I write about random Bible verses). Now I deemed it necessary to end the sentence right there, because of my long explanation in brackets. Moving on!

This must be the book in the Bible that is the hardest to pronounce, the one that contains this month’s scripture. This scripture is so big and profound to me. The Lord will make you the head (leader) and not the tail (follower); and you will be above only, and you will not be beneath, if you listen and pay attention to the commandments of the Lord your God, which I am commanding you today, to observe them carefully. Deut 28:13 (Amplified).

Wow. Where does one start with the analysis of this and what God laid on my heart about the scripture? Let us start with listening and obeying the commandments. Now I know we are no longer subject to the laws of the Old Testament. Jesus came and set us free from that. BUT, in the New Testament, Jesus refers to the biggest commandment. And Jesus replied to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ Matthew 22:37‭-‬39 AMP

What this tells me, is, if you love God, and your neighbor (which actually implies any person other than yourself and not literally the person living next door), then you will automatically obey the ten commandments. Because, if you love someone, you will not steal from them, you will not tell lies and so the list continues. So I recon that I can say check, I think I understand what this part of the scripture means, referring to the commandments.

So back to the first part – the promise from God Himself. This does not come via someone else. This is God Himself talking here, PROMISING. It is also not half a promise, not a might, or maybe baby type thing. He promises to ME (and you reading this) that He will make me the head, I SHALL be above, not beneath, be the head and not the tail. But, there is a condition attached to it. You must obey the commandments of God.

Only if you do your part, will God do His part. How many times do we still do something that we have supposedly laid off when we decided to follow Jesus? Did you tell a half-truth, which is actually a lie to someone? Promised something and did not do it? Maybe you did something to intentionally hurt someone or cause damage in a way to them? Talking about others behind their backs, oh, the list feels endless.

You see, and this is here where it feels to me that the fight between the head and the tail comes in. Our spirits are willing, but the flesh remains weak. And that is why we need Jesus! Alone we cannot do it! The devil will condemn you, over and over, judge you, make you feel guilty. In Afrikaans we say laer as ‘n luis which just means he makes you feel worthless! All because you have not done this, that and the next. He tries to pull you down below.

But, when you truly turn around your life, laid down your sinful life, and truly try to do everything within your power to love God AND obey His commandments, then it cannot be different for us than to be the head and not the tail, rising up, can it? God’s grace for us is big, He forgives us when we do something wrong and we repent. I choose to cling onto God’s promise, doing everything within my power to show love for others (and myself), also loving God.

Yes, I fail at times. And that is probably also how we learn and grow is it not? Nobody is perfect, but we can strive to be more like Jesus, obeying His commandments. Be a Jesus-Freak, always trying to show love to others and to oneself, turning away from old habits and sinful acts. Then you will see what God will do for you!

Who is winning in your life? The Head or the Tail? What is the outcome of the banner, spread out, is announcing the fight – Head vs. Tail? I surely hope that my results will be Head 1 – Tail 0 and that I will be able to maintain it!

Die kop vs. die stert