What a day! It is past 3 pm and I never got round to posting today’s verse. Long story short – I had to go to the dentist with my son (one of the blocks of the braces came loose 🙄🙈 AGAIN), my husband is now halfway between 40 and 50 today, so I had to do some shopping, and then when I got home the time just ran away.
Elkgeval, vandag se versie praat van hoe Jesus mens geword het. Hy was die enigste perfekte mens sonder foute volgens die vers en ons almal weet dit mos. Ek wonder baie of Hy as kind soos ‘n tipiese 2 jarige was en of Hy net nie so was nie en altyd geluister het vir Sy ouers?
I don’t think the answer to my question above is relevant. However, here we see that Jesus came to earth as sacrifice, He was obedient and fully God and human at the same time. If He was an angel coming to talk to us, who would have believed Him?
Hy moes mens word sodat mense met Hom kan identifiseer….al ooit so daaraan gedink?
As mens die gaan lees in die Amplified, word dit so mooi verduidelik. Dit kom daarop neer dat die Here die wat standvastig is in Hom in volle vrede bewaar.
Now it is very interesting to me how God is speaking to me with this verse. Living in a world surrounded by corruption, greed, theft, all things not from God, one cannot help but become discouraged.
Veral as jy hoor hoe mense besteel word deur slenters. Of hoe geld by iemand gevat word deur wie weet hoeveel mense wat in die proses betrokke is, en verkeerd uit bank rekeninge getrek word.
I can go on and on and on. Just this past weekend I said to someone that everyone is starting to think it is ok to act in a manner which God does not want us to act. Because everyone is doing it. There are no repercussions for wrong doing, so it is ok.
Dis ok om ‘n blinde oog te draai vir wat ookal. Of om ‘n fooitjie te neem om iemand te help met iets wat hulle nie toe kom nie. Of om wat ookal nie te doen en te verklaar nie. Dis ok want almal doen dit. Laat mens dink? Ons hoef nie mismoedig te voel as ons doen wat reg is nie, die Here sal ons bewaar EN in volle vrede.
The entire month I felt like I almost had writer’s block when it comes to this month’s bible verse. I am struggling to identify with the verse. I have written a few pieces, only for them to be deleted again, because they do not feel right. It feels like that what I am trying to say is not carried over correctly. This whole time I am talking to myself and God, asking what it is that I must write.
I also cannot help but think that this year feels less and less like a Jubilee year. Something that I declared in 2022 with the new year’s diaries, now feels like something out of ancient history and almost like a lie. Now I will not bore you with everything that I feel does not belong in a year of Jubilee in my life personally. I think the cherry on the top was our little pup that died after being hit by a car now in June. But the long and the short is – this year feels really tough for me!
Back to the bible verse – I read it over and over. But it feels like I hear nothing. Until last weekend. While I was washing dishes, my thoughts wander to the very famous piece that was written called Footprints. You know, the one about the two rows of footprints? And when the person asks Jesus where He was when it was difficult in this person’s life and only one row of footprints can be seen. With that Jesus answered the person – That was when I carried you.
Suddenly a few lights go on for me. You see, I am searching the whole time for something to identify with, to be able to testify about how God has carried me through one specific situation. But I realised that I missed it. Totally. This is not what the verse is about. As I let my thoughts go about the verse, I think back to my life.
How so many things happened at so many different times and God saved me and carried me through it all. Since I was young and before I had accepted Him properly as my Saviour. Until now, here where I am older but still relatively young, He carries me. Protects me. I can actually testify daily of His goodness in my life. Even if I cannot pinpoint only one specific moment.
Then I start to think – this is how simple it is. Nothing complicated or elaborated about what is happening in the verse. No, the fact that God protects us daily, is enough to identify with this bible verse. When you look back you will most certainly see only one row of footprints, at other times there will be two. There where the one row of footprints are, those are the carry times that is spoken about in this verse.
My thoughts cannot help but to wander back to the famous piece of Footprints. And the answer from Jesus on the question about the one row of footprints. It was when I carried you.
Die hele maand al, voel ek amper of ek writer’s block het as dit kom by die maand se skrifvers. Ek sukkel om te vereenselwig en identifiseer met die bybelversie. Ek skryf vele stukke, net om dit weer uit te wis, want ek voel nie of dit reg is nie. Dit voel nie of dit wat ek probeer sê reg oorgedra word nie. Ek praat heeltyd met myself en met God, vra wat dit is wat ek moet skryf.
Ek dink ook heeltyd dat die jaar vir my al hoe minder soos ‘n Jubel jaar begin voel. Iets wat ek in 2022 verklaar het met die nuwe jaar se dagboeke, voel nou vir my soos iets uit die verre verlede en amper soos ‘n leuen. Nou ek sal jou nie verveel met alles wat ek voel nie by ‘n Jubel jaar hoort nie, veral nie alles wat in my lewe gebeur het nie. Ek dink die kersie op die koek was maar seker die ou baba hondjie wat doodgery was nou in Junie. Maar die lang en die kort is – die jaar voel tough vir my!
Terug by die skrifvers – ek lees dit oor en oor en oor. Maar ek voel en hoor niks. Tot laas naweek. Terwyl ek skottelgoed was, dink ek aan die baie bekende stuk wat iemand geskryf het genaamd Voetspore. Jy weet, die een van die twee rye spore? En toe die persoon vir Jesus vra waar was Hy toe dit moeilik gegaan het in die persoon se lewe, en daar net een ry voetspore te siene is. Met Jesus wat die persoon antwoord – Dit was toe Ek jou gedra het.
Skielik gaan daar ‘n paar ligte vir my aan. Jy sien, ek soek heeltyd die iets om mee te identifiseer, om te kan getuig van hoe die Here my gedra het deur een spesifieke situasie. Maar ek besef ek het dit gemis. Heeltemal. Dis glad nie waaroor die vers gaan nie. Soos wat ek my gedagtes laat gaan oor die vers, dink ek terug aan my lewe.
Hoe so baie goed op soveel verskillende tye gebeur het en God my gered en gedra het, gedurig deur. Vandat ek jonk was en nog voor ek Hom behoorlik aanvaar het as my Verlosser. Tot nou toe, hier waar ek ouer, maar steeds eintlik nog redelik jonk is, dra Hy my. Beskerm Hy my. Ek kan eintlik elke dag getuig van Sy goedheid in my lewe. Al kan ek nie altyd een spesifieke oomblik uitsonder nie.
Dan begin ek te dink – dis so eenvoudig soos dit. Niks gekompliseerd en uitgebrei oor wat in die vers aan die gang is nie. Nee, net die feit dat die Here ons elke dag beskerm en bewaar, is genoeg om te kan identifiseer met hierdie skrifvers. Natuurlik wanneer mens terug kyk, sal jy verskeie tye een ry voetspore sien, en ander tye twee rye. Daar waar die een ry spore is, is die dra tye waarvan gepraat word in hierdie vers.
My gedagtes kan nie help om weer terug te dwaal na die beroemde stuk van die Voetspore nie. En Jesus se antwoord op die vraag van die een ry spore. Dit was toe Ek jou gedra het.
Hierdie is so waar. As jy heeltyd knorrig is, gaan almal met jou terug knorrig wees. As jy heeltyd mense indoen, besteel, nie goed klaar maak nie, nie betaal nie, nie jou kant bring nie – wel, dan gaan dieselfde met jou gebeur.
Some people would call this Carma, but actually it is a Biblical principle. I once worked with someone who said “The World is a round place. What goes around comes around.” Also a way to look at it, yet it comes down to this one Bible Verse.
Wonderlik is dit nie? Hoe alles eintlik net weer terug kom na die Bybel toe. En weer vir ons ietsie gee om oor te dink…
There is a song and some of the words are as follows – Strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord. It has a very catchy tune and you cannot help but get into the moment of praise and worship when you sing that.
Nou weet ek waar die woorde se inspirasie vandaan kom….uit hierdie Psalm uit. Jy sien, soms raak ons mismoedig oor goed en dan tree ongeduld in meeste van die kere.
But the instruction here is clear – Wait upon the Lord! Be strong AND wait. Do not let impatience take that which you must do away from you….
So yesterday I had this brainwave, to type my daily thoughts on the daily bible verse on my website too and not only on social media. I realise that many people are not on socials and then those that follow my blog online miss out so to speak. Of course today was implementation day and this meant that I never got round to it, because duty called with the day job.
Vir diegene wat nuut is met hoe die daaglikse inskrywings werk – ek skryf in beide Engels en Afrikaans in een inskrywing, sodat ek nie vashaak met vertalings nie, want maak nie saak hoe kort die stuk is wat ek skryf nie, om te vertaal neem tyd, en nee, ek gebruik nie Google translate nie.
Today’s verse speaks of Godly sorrow that leads to repentance without regret. This in turn leads to salvation. Now I was not hundred percent sure what was meant with this verse, but the more I thought of it, the more I think it refers to sorrow of what we did wrong, repenting and then receiving salvation. Can it be this simple? To understand it like this?
Die tweede deel praat van die wêreldse droefheid wat tot die dood ly. Ek kon nie lekker begryp wat die 1953 vertaling en selfs die Amplified bedoel nie. Toe ek na Die Boodskap vertaling gaan kyk, snap ek dit en gaan die liggie aan. My aanvanklike interpretasie in die vorige paragraaf dink ek is ook verkeerd. Jy sien, wanneer ons na God toe gaan met ons droefheid en hartseer, kom Hy, maak ons heel, bou so bietjie aan ons karakter in die proses, maak ons sterker. Maak dit sin? So nie noodwendig droefheid oor iets wat ons verkeerd gedoen het soos ek gedink het nie….
But, if you keep this to yourself and you try to cope with it on your own, you do not receive the healing you need. Your character is not built like God intended it to be built. And ultimately this leads to death, not receiving salvation, not being saved and possibly not finding the eternal life. WOW can this be? Something to think about. I know I can relate to this verse.
Toe ons baba hondjie doodgery was oor die langnaweek in Junie, het ek hierdie ongelooflike hartseer gehad. Ek was regtig ongelooflik tranerig vir ‘n paar dae. Maar ek het God gaan soek, probeer om dit vir Hom te gee, sodat ek weer ligter en beter kan voel. Ek het dit nie dadelik reg gekry nie. Maar die Dinsdag, by een van my weeklikse oefeninge, het die “release” gekom. Ek het steeds nie beter gevoel dadelik nie, dit was eers die volgende dag, by ‘n lekker strawwe oefening van spinning dat ek heeltemal verlos was van die droefheid wat ek ervaar het. En dis net God. Net Hy kan dit so doen en so vinnig ook.
If I did not experience it like this, I still would have been a mess. I still would have not felt this calmness inside me and I probably would have moved away further from God, thus risking my salvation over sorrow…..OH MY HAT! What a revelation! What do you do with your sorrow?
So ietsie om weer oor te dink!!
I normally end this off with a little arm emoji that flexes saying let’s do this day. But now this day is almost over….
Every time I think about peace, I think of the movie, Miss Congeniality where she closed off her answer, to a question that was asked, with the sentence “And World Peace.” And then while I am typing it like this, I cannot help but wonder if I have not written something similar to this? I cannot remember, because I write as much as what I talk and talk as much as what I write. None the less, this month’s scripture is about God’s peace that exceeds anything we will ever understand and experience. This whole month I was waiting in anticipation of experiencing it (because I have experienced it before) but it is as if it was dodging me the whole time.
Then I realise that this month’s circumstances is of such a nature, that I experienced peace like the world offers it. Sort of. I went to Google the proper definition of peace, as the dictionary explains and describes it. Unlike the Afrikaans definition that I Googled referring me to Wikipedia, I found the English definition from the Oxford Languages Dictionary. The definition is said to be freedom from disturbance, tranquillity. A state or period in which there is no war, or a war has ended.
While reading this, it struck me. On the surface it seems that there are no disturbances and actually a state of tranquillity, no war going on. However, on my own I have declared war against the webpage of an institution that does not want to work as it should. No one declared war against me, so theoretically it is not a state of war. I will not blame and shame the institution, because the purpose of this blog is not to sweep people up to be negative. But silently I have this war against this webpage, with an outlook that I will win and get everything submitted on time and before or on the due date of 31 May and not miss the deadline.
So, if I then have this silent war that I declared against this webpage, then I do not have God’s peace, do I? In worldly terms I actually have peace, even if the webpage is not working. It is not going terrible with me. I mean, no one has declared a physical war against me, this is just another thing that I have to deal with and resolve and can be seen as part of the day job. You know, the saying, every sport has its injuries? This is now one of those everyday injuries of the “sport” that I exercise daily when it comes to the day job.
The whole time while I am working, struggling to get things done, I get frustrated and irritated. So for sure I do not have God’s peace. And then in the process, the frustrations make me slap my hands together out of pure disbelief, or hitting the table that I am working on, unintentionally jump scaring my husband, who is working in the same office. Of course, the words that come with the frustrations want to be uttered and I have to focus really hard not to say them, but I must confess, I do not always get it right. So, you see, I feel I do not have the peace of God that this text is referring to.
Because this is peace that exceeds anything we can understand, peace that the world cannot offer us. And this peace guards our hearts and minds. Which implies I will not slap my hands in frustration or utter words that I should not be said. Now I have experienced God’s peace and I must say, that is a very nice place to be in. Even if it is chaotic around me, I cannot help but experience His peace that exceeds all things I have ever experienced. This is something that I long for on a daily basis in my life. In spite of my silent and self-proclaimed war, I feel some form of peace inside of me.
I can almost feel how the Holy Spirit is gently blowing peace into my spirit. Here I am now, war halfway won, busy making other plans to ensure that I will get all submitted on time, keeping my side clean so that no one can turn around and say Sorry nê, your submission was not on time and therefore we are levying a penalty. Even if the late submission was not my fault and that of the system, the outlook is always that penalties will be levied if not submitted on time.
As I close off this article, I think I understand better what is meant with the peace like the world offers. You see, all of us, myself included, can get so worked up when things do not go according to plan. It is not the end of the world and everything does not fall apart, but things are just not working as they should. It is in these moments of frustration and being worked up, that we miss God’s peace and just experience the peace like the world offers us. Does it make sense what I am trying to say?
The long and the short is, we must not fall for the devils lies, hook, line and sinker. We do not have to get worked up and miss God’s peace in the process. We do not have to be content with the peace like the world offers us. If we miss God’s peace, then we are missing the guidance He is offering us in our lives…. ever thought about it in this manner? What are you choosing today? Are you choosing to get all worked up, being frustrated about that which is not working? Are you giving space for things and stuff, other than that which is from God, to guide your mind? I know that I want God’s peace AND His guidance in my life, irrespective of the circumstances.
Elke keer as ek dink aan vrede, dan dink ek aan die fliek Miss Congeniality waar sy die vraag wat sy moes beantwoord, afsluit met “And World Peace.” En wanneer ek dit so tik dan kan ek nie help om te dink of ek al oor so iets geskryf het nie?Ek kan wragties nie onthou nie, want ek skryf so baie as wat ek praat en praat so baie as wat ek skryf. Nie te min, die maand se skrifvers gaan oor God se bonatuurlike vrede. Die heel maand wag ek in opwinding om dit te ervaar (want ek het dit al beleef) maar dis asof dit my bly ontwyk.
Dan besef ek dat die maand se omstandighede van so ‘n aard is, dat ek in ‘n mate die vrede soos die wêreld dit gee beleef. Soortvan. Ek het gaan Google wat die behoorlike definisie van vrede is, soos die woordeboek dit omskryf. So volgens Wikipedia (ek gebruik nou maar dit want ek is nie naby ‘n woordeboek nie en gaan ook nie tyd hê om een na te slaan nie) is dit ‘n toestand van stilte of harmonie. Of ‘n toestand sonder gevegte en oorloë.
Nou ja, toe ek dit lees, toe tref dit my. Op die oog af is dit ‘n toestand van stilte of harmonie, geen gevegte of oorloë wat woed nie. Maar, ek het by myself oorlog verklaar teen ‘n webblad van ‘n instansie wat net nie wil werk soos dit moet nie. Niemand het teen my oorlog verklaar nie, so teoreties is dit ‘n toestand sonder gevegte en oorloë. Ek sal maar nie die instansie se naam noem nie, want ek is nie hier om mense op te sweep nie. Maar stilweg het ek hierdie oorlog teen die webblad, ek het ‘n uitkyk van ek gaan die webblad wen om alles betyds ingedien te kry voor 31 Mei, die sperdatum, en nie dit nie betyds indien nie.
So as ek dan hierdie stille oorlog verklaar het teen die webblad, dan het ek mos nie God se vrede nie het ek? In wêreldse terme het ek vrede, al werk die webblad nie, gaan dit eintlik nie woes sleg met my nie. Ek meen niemand voer fisiese oorlog teen my nie en hierdie is maar net nog ‘n uitdaging wat ek moet trotseer en oorkom en oorwin en kan amper gesien word as deel van die werk. Jy weet, die gesegde, elke sport het sy beserings? Die is nou een van my alledaagse beserings van die “sport” wat ek daagliks beoefen.
Heeltyd terwyl ek hieraan werk en sit en sukkel, raak ek opgewerk. So ek het vir seker nie God se vrede nie. En dan in die opwerk proses, raak ek gefrustreerd, slaan soms my hande uit ongeloof teen mekaar en op die tafel uit frustrasie, dat my man wat saam met my sit en werk, hop soos hy skrik. Natuurlik wil-wil ‘n paar frustrasie woorde saam uitkom en moet ek regtig baie hard fokus dat dit nie gebeur nie en moet ek bieg, ek kry dit nie altyd reg nie. So jy sien, ek voel ek het nie God se vrede soos wat hier in hierdie vers na verwys word nie.
Want dis vrede wat alle verstand te bowe gaan, vrede wat die wêreld nie vir ons kan bied nie. En vrede wat ons sinne (dit wat in ons gedagtes omgaan volgens ander vertalings – en wat dan maar word wat ons spreek) bewaar. Nou ek het al God se vrede ervaar en ek moet sê dis ‘n lekker plek om te wees. Al is dit chaoties rondom my, kan ek nie help as om Sy vrede wat alle verstand te bowe gaan, te ervaar nie. Dis iets waarna ek smag om elke liewe dag van my lewe te hê. Ten spyte van my stille oorlog, voel ek tog rustig in my binneste.
Ek kan amper voel hoe die Heilige Gees vrede kom blaas in my gees in. Ten spyte van my self-verklaarde webblad oorlog. Hier sit ek nou, die stryd halfpad gewonne, besig om ‘n ander plan te bedink om die res ingedien te kry en my kant en deel te doen, sonder dat iemand omdraai en sê Sorry nê, your submission was not on time and therefore we are levying a penalty. Al was dit nie my skuld dat ek dit nie kon indien nie en die sisteem se skuld, is die uitkyk maar dat daar boetes gehef word as dit nie betyds ingedien word nie.
Soos wat ek hierdie stuk afsluit, verstaan ek beter wat bedoel word met die wêreldse vrede. Jy sien, ons almal, ek in kluis, kan onsself so opwerk as goed nie reg verloop nie. Dis nie die einde van die wêreld nie, en alles tuimel nie in mekaar nie, maar dinge werk net nie soos wat ons verwag dit moet nie jy weet? Dis in daardie oomblikke van frustrasie en opgewerktheid, wat ons God se vrede mis en net die wêreld se “vrede” ervaar. Maak dit sin wat ek probeer sê?
Die lang en die kort is, ons moet wragties nie hook, line and sinker val vir die duiwel se leuens nie. Ons hoef nie onsself op te werk en God se vrede te mis in die proses nie. Ons hoef nie tevrede te wees met net wêreldse vrede nie. As ons God se vrede mis, dan mis ons die leiding wat Hy ons gee in ons lewens….al ooit so daaraan gedink? Wat kies jy vandag? Kies jy om maar weer opgewerk te raak en gefrustreerd en moedeloos met dit wat nie werk nie? Gee jy plek vir goed en dinge, anders as dit wat van God af is, om jou gedagtes te kom lei? Ek weet ek wil vir seker God se vrede EN Sy leiding altyd hê in my lewe, ongeag die omstandighede.
Hierdie inskrywing is tweetalig en ook maar net vir diegene wat my webjoernaal volg, wat nie op sosiale media is nie, se inligting…. wat ‘n wonderlike voorreg om God se woord te kon verkondig aan die jeug, die toekoms, die mense aan wie ons die aflosstokkie moet oorhandig.
A big thank you to Bekker High School for receiving me on Monday and making me feel at home like always! I trust the Holy Spirit that the seed that was sown to grow at the right time so that they too can be light bearers for God’s Kingdom on earth! As I said to the children on Monday, this past weekend it was the Coronation of King Charles. Our Pastor at Doxa Deo said a true thing – everyone knows who King Charles is, but King Charles does not know who I am or many other people on this earth.
Maar Koning Jesus ken ons elkeen by ons naam! Is dit nie wonderlik nie? Hy het ons eerste lief gehad nog voordat ons Hom gekies het! Wat doen jy om te sorg dat jou vere pienk bly? Het jy Pienk Vere ® vir die Here? Is dit wat jy besig is om in te sit goed en van God af? Die saad van dit wat ons insit deur ons sintuie, gaan lê in ‘n mens se hart en dit bepaal ‘n mens se lewe soos Salomo tereg gesê het in Spreuke 4:23.
Be vigilant always, and it is ok to be a bit weird and different, because that is what distinguishes us from the rest of the world. To stand out, proud, tall and pink like the Flamingo to be recognised as a Child of God. Sometimes our actions seem weird to the rest of the world, just as the Flamingos manner of eating with its head upside down, filtering its food (because it is a filter feeder). Just like the Flamingo filters its food while eating, we as Christians should filter that which is thrown to us by the world (through social media and everything around us), as it states in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 – But test all things carefully [so you can recognize what is good]. Hold firmly to that which is good. (Amplified).
Tot volgende jaar Hoërskool Bekker! Ek kan nie wag nie, en sien uit om die nuwe groep Graad 12’s te ontmoet en mee te gesels!
When I started to write this piece, I was feeling a bit blue. Initially, I thought I was not going to publish this at all, but, as true and faithful as God is, He showed me the light and I decided to proceed with the publication of this, as the purpose of the blog is to show people that I am only human and that God picks me up when I feel down and out. The days leading up to Fake-it-till-you-make-it-day AKA my Birthday (in April and shortly after the Easter weekend) was rather interesting. My outlook on life and how quickly time goes seems to be changing as rapidly as the wind and tides change. You see, for a long time, even before reaching the age of 40, I have been realising just how short our time on earth is. Watching the movie The Intern with Robert Dinero and Anne Hathaway in the leading roles, made me realise or rather recap this even more.
The movie starts with Robert Dinero as Ben, a 70 year old retired widower, telling this modern, online business, why they should hire him as a senior intern as advertised. He talks about his wife who had passed away three years earlier, how tough retirement is when you have nothing to get up for and how he coped with being retired and alone. He decided to have an attitude of getting out of the house in the mornings to be at the local Star Bucks at a certain time daily. That gave him purpose.
Now back to my life, that makes me think of what we perceive to be the distant future. The reality is, it is closer than what we can ever think. Just yesterday I was 21 years old. In the blink of an eye it is 21 years later and I am celebrating my 42nd birthday. I still cannot seem to get over the fact that I am getting older. I really had this thing in my mind, when I was in my twenties and even thirties, that I don’t think I will ever get THERE you know? Grow old, because it is just so far away and so far in the distant future. NEWS FLASH to all the twenty-something-year-olds reading this – life happens, time goes by! You will age, you will get older. Your kids will leave the house and start their own families and lives without you as their primary care-giver.
2023 marks the year that I know my husband for half of my life. Say what now? Yes, read that again. I have known my husband for HALF OF MY LIFE! Old people know people for half of their lives! Not me! In my mind I am still a 20-something year old. In my mind, I am still 24, still have dreams of becoming fitter and more toned, doing things that my heart desires rather than what pays the bills.
I still have all these plans and dreams, some of which, seem to be ridiculous at this age – the one of becoming more toned for one, seems to be the most ridiculous of them all, yet, I am religiously following my dream, going to the gym three times per week now. I have come to a point, where I am realising that One Day may just not arrive for certain goals I had set for myself unintentionally at a very young age. Having a more than hectic first quarter for 2023, ending up with Vertigo, which is stress related, just makes me weigh up everything in life, especially the work-life balance that I am trying so hard to achieve. I think my biggest wish or goal rather at this stage, is to not be exhausted when it comes to the birthdays of my family members, including my own.
You see, being a Chartered Accountant in business is very stressful. The demands to keep all the balls in the air are just becoming more hectic. As times change, the workload increases. Systems change and every “little” additional thing that we have to send to authorities, effectively adds about 15 to 30 minutes to our already overloaded work schedule. For years I could not figure out why we could just never get ahead with our work. Then it struck me. It is all these changes in systems, things that authorities just expect to happen, without undue interference or hinderance from our side.
Not even to mention the impact that load-shedding has on running a business. We lose internet signal at times, having to live without cell phone reception and internet connectivity for a few hours up to a few days at times (in the extreme cases, which, thank goodness, does not occur frequently. But it normally happens at a critical time). Everything is online you know. Then you cannot do your work. You cannot send e-mails, cannot submit returns. It becomes a frustration.
Anyway, I am NOT here to sing a moan song about the stress of my job, because, at the end of the day I chose my day job, not the other way around. So, I have to make peace with that which I chose to make a living for myself and my family. Back to the day before my birthday. It is Monday evening, 10 April 2023. I am a bit teary eyed, because man, turning 42 felt worse than turning 40. My husband tries to encourage me before we go to put the kids to bed. Lying next to my daughter, now 9 years old, I was silently crying to myself. She turns to me and asks me what is wrong?
Next thing I see, she turns on her bedside lamp, looks me in the eyes and asks me why I think I feel this way. This to me, was so mature for a 9-year-old. I continue to chat with her, telling her that I feel like a bad mother. I feel like I am not nurturing enough, not showing sufficient sympathy and empathy when they are sick or not feeling well. I feel like my impatience is making me a bad mother. I even ended my sentence crying, saying that I am not like her. Because, man oh man, she has a nurturing personality. Something that does not come naturally for me.
She answers that statement by saying that when her tonsils were sick, I took her to the hospital to have them removed. So, I am a good mother. When I responded saying that I did not show much sympathy and empathy with her with the pain, because I got cross with her for being stubborn and not drinking her medication like she should have, she shrugged her shoulders, saying “Such is life.” We continued the conversation, I continued to say that I feel bad that I cannot give her everything that her heart desires. She again answered me with “Such is life. I cannot get a new game on the cell phone I play with every day.”
When I heard these very mature answers from my 9-year-old daughter, I realised that I am doing something right somewhere. All the Ethics training and Tall Trees analysis of my own personality, EI Activator courses and all the other stuff that I do rather than just boring work-related training (this training counts for CPD points by the way), made me realise that it is not in vain. It is starting to pay off. Even if I still have a mountain of training to catch up on, something is working somewhere. I am contributing to the next generation. Trying to raise children with responsibility, accountability, empathy, sympathy, humanity, nurturing habits. I don’t think I always do everything right, but, when I have a day like that and end it off with a conversation like this with my daughter, then I know I cannot call my birthday Fake-it-till-you-make-it-day. Because in reality, I am not faking it, I am actually making it.
All the Glory be to God always. For the instincts He places within us as parents. All the guidance He provides through His word. For being able to call myself a child of God, being so privileged to be chosen by Him first and having this ministry to share with other moms out there, who may be feeling the same emotions and issues than what I am feeling. We are going to be ok. We are making mistakes as we go along, but that is human nature. With God by our side, we cannot help but bear forward and Make it rather than Fake it till you make it. Here is to all the moms out there, feeling like failures! You are not a failure and you are not alone! God is always with you and all those other moms around you, who seem to have it all together, is fighting just as hard to keep on keeping on.
Toe ek hierdie stuk begin skryf het, het ek so bietjie blou gevoel. Aanvanklik het ek gedink ek gaan nie die stuk publiseer nie, maar, so getrou as wat God is, het Hy my die lig gewys en ek het besluit om tog maar voort te gaan om hierdie stuk te publiseer. Die doel van die webjoernaal is tog om mense te wys dat ek ook net ‘n mens is en dat God my optel wanneer ek so bietjie down & out is. Die dae wat gelei het tot Maak-of-jy-dit-oorleef-dag AKA my Verjaarsdag (in April en kort na die Paasnaweek) was redelik interessant gewees. My uitkyk op die lewe en hoe vinnig tyd gaan, voel of dit nogals so vinnig verander soos wat die wind draai en die getye verander. Jy sien, vir ‘n geruime tyd al, nog voordat ek die ouderdom van 40 bereik het, het ek begin besef hoe kort ons tyd op aarde werklik is. Na ek die fliek The Intern met Robert Dinero en Anne Hathaway in die hoofrolle gekyk het, het dit my net nog meer dit laat besef, of eerder recap oor dit.
Die fliek begin met Robert Dinero wat die rol van Ben vertolk, ‘n 70-jarige, afgetrede wewenaar, wat vir ‘n jong, moderne aanlyn besigheid vertel hoekom hulle hom as ‘n senior klerk moet huur soos wat hulle geadverteer het. Hy praat van sy vrou wat oorlede is drie jaar van te vore, hoe moeilik aftrede is, veral as jy niks het om voor op te staan in die oggende nie en hoe hy oorleef het met aftrede en om alleen te wees. Hy het besluit om ‘n uitkyk en houding te hê om iets te soek om voor op te staan en een van sy daaglikse doelwitte was om elke oggend teen ‘n sekere tyd by die plaaslike Star Bucks te wees. Dit het vir hom ‘n doel gegee in die lewe.
Nou terug na my lewe, die storie het my laat dink aan wat ons almal sien as die verre toekoms. Die werklikheid is, dis nader as wat ons ooit kan dink. Net gister was ek 21 jaar oud. In ‘n oogwink is dit 21 jaar later en ek vier my 42ste verjaarsdag. Ek kan steeds nie oor die feit kom dat ek ouer word nie. Ek het regtig die ding in my kop gehad, veral toe ek in my twintigs, en selfs vroeë dertigs was, dat ek nooit DAAR sal kom nie jy weet? Oud word, want dis net so ver in die toekoms, dit voel amper onwerklik dat mens kan verouder. NUUS FLITS vir al die twintig-jariges wat dit lees – die lewe gebeur en tyd stap aan!! Jy gaan verouder en ouer word. Jou kinders gaan die huis verlaat en hul eie families en lewens begin, sonder om afhanklik te wees van jou as hul primêre versorger.
2023 merk die jaar dat ek my man vir helfde van my lewe ken. Sê wat nou? Ja, lees dit weer. Ek ken my man vir HELFDE VAN MY LEWE! Ou mense ken mense vir helfde van hul lewens! Nie ek nie! In my kop is ek nog in my twintigs. In my kop is ek nog 24 met drome van fikser en meer toned (by gebrek aan die Afrikaanse woord) wees, om dinge te doen wat my hart begeer eerder as dit wat die rekeninge betaal. Ek het nogals vasgevang geraak in leef vir eendag. Eendag dit en eendag dat.
Ek het nog al hierdie planne en drome, sommige van hulle lyk en klink amper belaglik op hierdie ouderdom. Die een om fikser en meer toned te wees, is heelwaarskynlik die mees belaglikste een van hulle almal. Tog volg ek getrou my droom en meld aan my die plaaslike gimnasium drie maal per week. Ek het op ‘n punt in my lewe gekom dat ek besef het dat Eendag net dalk nie gaan arriveer nie, veral vir sekere doelwitte wat ek vir myself, onbewustelik gestel het op ‘n jong ouderdom. Na ‘n wilde woeste eerste kwartaal van 2023, waar ek opgeëindig het met Vertigo, wat gekoppel word aan spanning, maak dat ek net nog meer alles in die lewe opweeg, veral die werk-lewe balans wat ek so hard werk om te vermag. Ek dink my grootste wens of doelwit op die stadium van my lewe, is om nie so uitgeput te wees wanneer dit kom by verjaarsdae van my gesin nie, myne ingesluit.
Jy sien, om ‘n Geoktrooieerde Rekenmeester in besigheid te wees, tap nogals baie uit mens uit met baie druk en spanning wat saam met dit gaan. Die vereistes om al die balle in die lug te hou, word net meer en meer. Soos wat die tye verander, verhoog die werkslading. Sisteme verander en elke liewe “klein” addisionele ding wat ons vir owerhede moet stuur, dra by tot effektief omtrent 15 min tot ‘n halfuur se ekstra werk, in ‘n reeds oorvol werkskedule. Vir jare kon ek nie uitwerk hoekom ons net nie voor kan kom met ons werk nie. Toe tref dit my. Dis al die veranderinge in sisteme, dinge wat die owerhede net verwag om te gebeur, moeiteloos en sonder enige opondhoud van ons kant af.
Nie eens om te noem watter impak beurtkrag het op die bestuur van ‘n besigheid nie. Die ergste is seker die internet sein wat ons soms in die steek laat as gevolg van beurtkrag. Alles is mos aanlyn jy weet? Dan kan jy nie jou werk doen nie. Jy kan nie e-posse stuur nie en kan nie opgawes indien nie. Dit raak ‘n frustrasie. Elkgeval, en is NIE hier om ‘n klaaglied te sing oor die spanning van my werk nie, want, op die ou einde van die dag, het ek my werk gekies en nie andersom nie.
So ek moet vrede maak met dit wat ek gekies het om ‘n lewe en bestaan van te maak vir my en my gesin. Terug na die dag voor my verjaarsdag. Dis Maandagaand, 10 April 2023. Ek is so bietjie emosioneel, want, liewe hemel, om 42 te word het erger gevoel as om 40 te word. My man probeer my bemoedig voordat ons die kinders in die bed sit. Soos wat ek langs my dogtertjie lê, nou 9 jaar oud, het ek stilweg gehuil by myself. Sy draai na my en vra my wat fout is?
Volgende oomblik sien ek sy sit haar bedlampie aan, kyk my in die oë en vra my hoekom ek dink ek so voel? Vir my was dit so ‘n volwasse ding vir ‘n 9 jarige. Ek hou aan om met haar te gesels, te vertel dat ek soos ‘n slegte ma voel. Ek voel of ek nie genoeg koestering en versorging bied nie, nie genoeg simpatie en empatie wanneer hulle siek is of nie lekker voel nie. Ek voel of my ongeduld van my ‘n baie slegte ma maak. Ek het selfs my sin geëindig met ‘n tranerige antwoord dat ek nie soos sy is nie. Liewe aarde, daardie klein mensie is so ‘n versorgertjie. Iets wat nie natuurlik kom vir my nie.
Sy antwoord daardie stelling van my, deur te sê toe haar mangels siek was, het ek haar hospitaal toe gevat om dit uit te haal. So ek is ‘n goeie mamma. Toe ek reageer op dit om te sê dat ek nie genoeg simpatie en empatie met haar gehad het met die pyn na die tyd nie, want ek het kwaad geraak omdat sy hardkoppig was en nie haar medisyne wou drink soos sy moes nie, trek sy haar skouers op en sê “Dis die lewe.” Ons gesprek gaan voort en ek gaan voort om te sê dat ek sleg voel dat ek nie altyd alles vir haar kan gee wat haar hart begeer nie. Sy antwoord my met “Dis die lewe. Ek kan nie elke dag ‘n nuwe gamepie aflaai op die selfoon nie.”
Toe ek hierdie baie volwasse antwoorde van my 9 jarige dogtertjie af hoor, besef ek dat ek iewers iets reg doen. Al die Etiese opleiding en Tall Trees analise van my eie persoonlikheid, EI Activator kursusse en al die ander goed wat ek doen, eerder as om net vervelige opleiding te doen wat direk aan my werk gekoppel is (hierdie ander opleiding tel vir my CPD punte net so tussen ons), het my laat besef dat niks verniet is nie. Ek begin die vrugte pluk. Selfs al het ek nog ‘n BERG van opleiding om te doen en in te haal, is iets iewers besig om te werk. Ek is besig om ‘n bydra te maak tot die volgende generasie. Ek probeer kinders grootmaak wat verantwoordelikheidsin het, wat rentmeesters kan wees van dit wat aan hulle toevertrou word, om empatie, simpatie, en wie weet watter ander goeie morele waardes nog te hê. Ek dink nie ek doen altyd alles reg nie, maar, wanneer ek ‘n dag het soos daardie en dit afgesluit word met ‘n gesprek soos dit met my dogter, dan weet ek dat ek my verjaarsdag nie Maak-of-jy-dit-oorleef-dag noem nie – of in Engels Fake it till you make it day. Want, ek is nie besig om te maak of ek dit reg doen en kry nie. Ek is werklik besig om iets reg te kry en te oorleef.
Al die eer aan God altyd. Vir die instinkte wat Hy binne ons plaas as ouers. Al die leiding wat Hy gee deur Sy woord. Om myself ‘n kind van God te kan noem, om so bevoorreg te kan wees om eerste deur Hom gekies te word en om hierdie bediening te hê waar ek met soveel mammas daarbuite my emosies en uitdagings te kan deel. Ons gaan ok wees. Ons maak foute soos ons aangaan, maar dis die menslike natuur. Met God aan ons sy, kan ons nie anders as om vorentoe te beur nie, en om eerder dit te Maak as om voor te gee dat ons dit wel reg kry. Hier is vir al die mamma’s daarbuite, wat soos mislukkings voel – jy is nie alleen nie! God is altyd met jou en al hierdie ander mamma’s om jou, al lyk sommige van hulle of hulle alles in orde het – hulle is ook besig om hard te baklei om net vorentoe te beur. Jy is nie alleen nie.
I cannot help but wonder what is actually busy happening to time. I am not finding time to write like I used to in the past. Come to think of it, I am not finding time to do anything it seems. My circumstances have changed, no doubt about that, but can it truly have such a big influence? Anyway, on the last day of April, I am finally finding time to write about this month’s scripture. Now, I have been thinking about it for a while now, chewing on what I want to say. Maybe it is not really the being busy that is hindering me to write, but rather what I feel I want to say about the scripture, that is truly the hold up here. I do not want to write for the sake of writing you know.
Now this month’s verse is yet again very interesting to me, especially the manner in which God is busy breaking it open to understand it from a different point of view. When you love someone, then you say it to them, right? But with it comes other things too. You treat the person nicely and do things for them, because you love them, something that you may not do for a total stranger.
The part of the verse that stands out the most is in the last part. The word – truth. You see, when you truly love someone, you will also tell them the truth. You will not tell them stories and things that are contradicting to love. Now here is the other deep part of the verse, if I can put it that way. Who must we love? A question that Jesus answered the Pharisees and other people who studied the bible (whose collective name I cannot think of right now in this moment). We must love our neighbours as ourselves.
Wow! So, in other words, this verse is applicable to all people, not only those close to you and with whom you have a relationship with. I don’t think this implies that we have to say that we love people whom we do not know from a bar of soap! Because the word love is deep. But, you must have respect for others, even if you do not know them on a personal level. Showing them that Jesus is within you. The same is applicable to our deeds – we don’t have to do something by moving into someone’s personal space. But, if you are stuck in traffic, you can give a space for the person next to you and in this manner show a deed of love, even if you do not know that person. Does it make sense?
The word I seem to come back to the whole time is truth. What are you busy doing? Are you telling the truth on all levels? Are you telling people of Jesus? He is the truth. Are you speaking the truth when you interact with people and when you are doing business transactions? Do you keep to your word? Are you truly busy showing love through your tongue, forcing yourself to speak the truth, irrespective of the circumstances?
I also don’t think you should tell someone that you do not like the shirt they are wearing, because that is personal taste in my opinion. And when you say things to people in this manner, then you are attacking their personality. Does it make sense what I am trying to say here? The verse makes me think of the English saying Actions speak louder than words. How true are those words? Maybe you have these people in your life, whether it is friends or family. They tell you things that would make you think that you have a good relationship, but their deeds say the contrary. Maybe the truth is lacking a bit in that what is actually busy happening. Respect may be absent – because everything is always about them rather than those around them.
May we be reminded frequently, to show love in deed and in truth, and not only by words and with our tongue. This is not only applicable to fellow humans here on earth. Not at all! Our relationship with God must also be like this! Don’t just say that you love God if your actions and deeds speak the contrary. Where do you stand today? What is your relationship with Him like? Are you truly busy showing Him that you love Him? Or are you getting stuck at a superficial Sunday relationship with Him? Something to think about I would say….
Ek kan nie help om te wonder wat besig is om te gebeur met tyd nie. Ek kry nie tyd vir skryf soos altyd in die verlede nie. Eintlik kry ek tyd vir niks voel dit vir my! Vir seker het daar goed in my lewe verander, omstandighede, maar kan dit werklik so ‘n groot invloed hê? Nie te min, op die laaste dag van April kom ek uiteindelik by die maand se skrifvers uit. Nou ek dink aan hom al vir ‘n rukkie, en herkou oor wat ek wil sê. Miskien is dit nie regtig die besig wees wat my hinder om te skryf nie, maar dalk eerder dit wat ek voel ek wil sê oor die skrifvers, wat die opondhoud is? Ek wil nie net skryf omdat skryf, skryf is nie jy weet?
Nou die maand se versie is weereens vir my interessant, veral hoe die Here besig is om dit vir my oop te breek en vanuit ‘n ander oogpunt dit te kan verstaan. Wanneer jy lief is vir iemand, dan sê jy dit tog, nie waar nie? Maar saam met dit kom ander goed ook. Jy hanteer die persoon mooi en doen goed vir die persoon, omdat jy lief is vir die persoon, wat jy nie noodwendig sou doen vir ‘n vreemdeling op straat, wat jy van geen kant af ken nie.
Die deel van die vers wat vir my die meeste uitstaan is in die laaste deel. Die woord – waarheid. Jy sien, wanneer jy werklik lief is vir iemand, sal jy ook vir hulle die waarheid vertel. Jy sal nie storietjies hê en dingetjies doen wat kontrasterend is van liefde nie. Nou hier kom die ander diep deel, as ek dit so kan stel van hierdie vers. Wie moet ons lief hê? ‘n Vraag wat Jesus die Skrifgeleerdes geantwoord het. Ons moet ons naaste liefhê soos onsself.
Wow! So met ander woorde, hierdie vers is van toepassing op alle mense, nie net op jou naaste mense met wie jy ‘n diepe verhouding het nie. Ek dink nou nie ons hoef ander mense wat jy van geen kant af ken, te vertel dat jy lief is vir hulle nie, want die woord lief is eintlik maar baie diep! Maar jy moet respek toon vir die mense, al ken jy hulle nie. Naaste liefde betoon op ‘n manier sodat hulle Jesus kan sien in jou. Dieselfde met ons dade – ons hoef nou nie iets te doen wat eintlik in iemand se persoonlike spasie in beweeg nie. Maar, as mens dalk in die verkeer staan, kan jy vir die ou langs jou plek gee om in te beweeg en op so ‘n manier ‘n daad doen wat liefde bewys, al ken jy nie die persoon nie. Maak dit sin?
Die woord waarheen ek heeltyd terug kom is, waarheid. Wat is jy besig om te doen? Verkondig jy die waarheid op alle vlakke vir almal? Vertel jy mense van Jesus? Hy is die waarheid, is Hy nie? Praat jy die waarheid wanneer jy met mense te doen kry en besigheidstransaksies doen? Hou jy by jou woord? Is jy werklik besig om liefde te betoon deur jou tong te dwing om die waarheid te praat, ongeag die omstandighede?
Ek dink ook nie mens hoef nou reguit vir iemand te sê jy hou nie van die hemp wat hulle aan het nie, want dit is mos maar elke ou se smaak is dit nie? En as jy nou goed op die manier vir mense sê, val jy eintlik maar hul karakter aan, doen jy nie? Maak dit sin wat ek probeer deurgee hier? Die vers laat my dink aan die Engelse gesegde Actions speak louder than words. Hoe waar is dit nie net nie? Jy het dalk hierdie mense, of dit nou vriende of familie is, in jou lewe, hulle vertel vir jou alles dat jy dink julle is regtig in ‘n goeie verhouding, maar hul dade bewys die teenoorgestelde. Daar is dalk ‘n gebrek aan waarheid in dit wat werklik besig is om te gebeur. Of wedersydse respek ontbreek – want alles gaan altyd oor hulle eerder as ander rondom hulle.
Mag ons konstant herinner word om nie net met die tong nie, maar in daad en waarheid liefde te bewys. Dit geld nie net vir mede-mense hier op aarde nie. Nee, ons verhouding met die Here moet ook so wees! Moet nie net sê jy is lief vir die Here as jou optrede en dade anders spreek nie. Waar staan jy vandag? Hoe is jou verhouding met God? Is jy werklik besig om vir Hom te wys jy is lief vir Hom? Of haak jy so bietjie vas by ‘n oppervlakkige Sondag verhouding met God? So bietjie iets om oor na te dink sou ek sê….
Now let me tell you. To say chow, cheers and goodbye to someone that you know for almost your whole life, sucks, if I can say it like it is, with no tact at all. This past week, I experienced one of those chow,cheers and goodbye days again. The first time that I realised how much it sucked to say chow, cheers and goodbye, was in 2017, when my mom completed her race on earth. Only then did I realise what death really means and entails.
The other time was in 2021. When I had to greet my sister Erika, her husband Jaco and their two children, 580 times (ok not really that much, but it was a lot of times) before they finally left Pretoria to immigrate to New Zealand. To me it felt like I would never, ever, see them in real life, ever again. Never ever. Because I know how expensive it is to travel back and forth. For them and for us.
Well, Tuesday 25 April 2023 marks another chow, cheers and goodbye day. When I had to greet the same brother-in-law (or heavy as we translated swaer directly from Afrikaans to English), after a short visit to South-Africa. On 6 April 2023, he slept over at our house for one night. My instructions to Dora was to get the house spick and span. Everything must be packed away. The floors washed. Everything that could be scrubbed clean, was scrubbed. The house dogs’ blankets were washed. Linnen spray was being sprayed, probably much too often, to ensure that the house smells fresh and nice.
I even purchased new bedside tables for our room, because that is where Jaco was going to sleep that night. I could not let him sleep in a room with lamps that had hanging heads. The lamps had fallen and broken over time, and I just never got round to replacing them. Purely because I could not find something that I liked and seemed to be more durable than the broken ones that were in our bedroom. None the less, that was a very good excuse to replace them even if it was for one night’s stay only.
The one night that he slept over, that feels like months ago, but in reality it was only 2 and half weeks ago on Tuesday, the last day that we got to see him, before he returned to New Zealand. When I read this previous sentence, it did not quite make sense. What I meant to say was, on Tuesday, the last day that we saw him, it was only two and a half weeks before, that he slept over for one evening. I did not want to let him go that first time, so that he can go to his sister in Brits. I did what I could to stretch the visit for as long as I could.Tuesday it was the same thing. The three of us (myself, Jaco and my husband Heinrich) had a lovely Impala coffee while we visited with him like old times. During the conversation, all three of us looked at our watches, hoping the others would not notice it. Knowing that the chow, cheers and goodbye time is slowly creeping closer and closer. We even walked through Impala, just to avoid that moment that we all knew was due to arrive. But then, the unavoidable happened. We all had to part our ways. Jaco had to go to Pretoria and we had to go back to our daily routine of work and collecting kids from school.
I decided to ask for a last in person photo with Jaco, even if it was in the parking area. Heinrich rolled his eyes at me and asked me how many photos I still want to take and have, and whether I want to take another picture, because I am dressed up a bit more than usual? He takes my phone to take the picture. After the photo, we greet for a last time. We cannot prevent the tears from welling up in our eyes. We give each other a hug more than once. Just to be sure that we remember what it feels like to give fleshy hugs to each other. A man passes us in the parking area, probably to do his shopping at Impala, looking at us strangely, especially when I turned away from Jaco after greeting him, with tears in my eyes. I knew if Jaco and I kept eye-contact, we would have cried even more.
I realise more and more how God had to split my sisters and I up, over continents and provinces, so that we can talk to each other more frequently. My other sister left Centurion for Riversdal, while the eldest and her husband Jaco, exchanged South Africa for New Zealand. How ironic is life? You only appreciate someone when they are no longer within your reach. Pretoria is not far from Skeerpoort, yet we did not visit each other that frequently when they were in Pretoria. Before kids, it was well the case, we visited more frequently, but, as time passed, adding little feet to each of our families, the visits started to become less and less….
I was grateful for each second I had with Jaco. Even if it was not as much as I had hoped for, it is still something I will treasure in my heart for ever. Erika and Jaco – I miss you guys more than you will ever know. Like everything in life that is hard for me to process, I try not to think about it the whole time. Because, if I do, then I will be this miserable heap of tears and crying the whole time! One cannot help but to be sad from longing for people that you have known your whole life!
Until we see each other again. Hopefully soon. I pray that our ship will come in and that we will not be waiting at the airport, missing it in the process! I know my brother-in-law for 28 years. Old people know each other for 28 years. Neither him nor I feel old, so I am scrapping that saying of old people who know each other that long. It was an honour to host you for one evening and to be able to see you for a quick cup of coffee, before you had to travel back over the waters to your new home. Travel safely, I am treasuring the conversations and fleshy hugs until we can do that again. By the time this entry is published, you will have arrived safely back in New Zealand….that is how quick time flies and how easy it actually is to travel that far! Love you to the moon and back. Miss you like crazy!
Laat ek nou vir jou vertel. Om vir iemand, wat jy al amper jou hele lewe lank ken, koebaai te sê suck as ek dit nou pleinweg kommen kan sê. Die afgelope week het ek weer een van daardie koebaai dae beleef. Die eerste keer dat ek besef het hoe baie dit suck om koebaai te sê was in 2017, toe my ma haar resies op aarde voltooi het. Toe eers het ek besef wat die dood regtig beteken, en is.
Die ander keer was in 2021. Toe ek my sussie Erika, haar man Jaco en twee kinders, 580 keer (nie regtig so baie nie, maar dit was meer as normaal), gaan groet het in Pretoria, voor hul immigrasie na Nieu-Seeland (is dit reg gespel?) toe. Na ek die Afrikaanse weergawe van Nieu-Seeland getik het, besluit ek om tog maar dit te google net om seker te maak dis reg gespel, wat dit toe was en ek weereens nie weet hoekom ek nou daaraan sou twyfel nie! Terug by die groetery en my eintlike storie – dit het gevoel of ek hulle nooit, ooit weer in my lewe, in lewende lywe sou sien nie. Want ek weet mos hoe duur dit is om heen en weer te vlieg. Vir hulle en vir ons.
Nou ja, Dinsdag 25 April 2023 merk weer so ‘n koebaaidag. Toe ek weer dieselfde einste swaer wat in 2021 gevlieg het,moes groet na ‘n kortstondige kuier in Suid-Afrika. Hy het 6 April 2023, vir een nag by ons oorgeslaap. My instruksie aan Dora was om die huis spick and span te kry. Als op hul plekke te bêre. Netjies te maak. Vloere gewas en alles wat geskrop kon word, was geskrop. Die huis honde se komberse moet gewas word. Linne spuitgoed oral en seker maar te gereeld gespuit sodat die huis vars en lekker ruik.
Ek het selfs nuwe bedlampies vir ons kamer gekoop, want dis waar Jaco geslaap het daardie aand. Ek kon nie dat hy met lampies wat se koppe geknak het daar slaap nie. Die goed het met tyd geval en gebreek. Ek het dit nooit vervang nie, want ek kon nog nooit iets kry wat mooi lyk nie. Ek was ook nie oortuig dat dit wat ek wel in die winkels gesien het, van beter gehalte was as die voriges wat stukkend was nie, en ook nie noodwendig langer sou hou nie. Nie te min, sy kuier was ‘n goeie verskoning om nuwes aan te skaf, en nuwe lampies en al het hy in ons kamer geslaap vir een aand.
Een aand, wat soos maande gelede voel maar wat in werklikheid net 2 en half weke vantevore was op daardie laaste keer dat ons hom gesien het, die Dinsdag. Toe ek die vorige sin weer lees, maak dit nie sin nie. Wat ek bedoel en probeer sê is – die Dinsdag wat ons hom laaste gesien het, was maar twee en half weke na hy die aand oorgeslaap het. Ek wou hom daardie eerste keer nie laat gaan na sy sussie in Brits toe nie. Ek het soveel en solank ek kon die kuier uitgerek. Dinsdag was dit weer dieselfde. Ons drie (ek, Jaco en my man Heinrich) het ‘n heerlike Impala koffie gedrink terwyl ons weer dik stukke gekuier het. So tussen deur het ons al drie om die beurt na ons horlosies geloer (en gehoop die ander kom nie agter nie). Geweet die koebaai tyd kruip nader. Ons het selfs deur Impala geloop net om nog nie koebaai te sê nie. Maar toe gebeur die onvermydelike. Ons almal moet in ons rigtings spat – Jaco terug na Pretoria en ons na ons daaglikse roetine van werk en kinders optel na skool.
Ek vra maar tog weer vir ‘n laaste lewende lywe foto saam met Jaco, sommer so in die parkeer area. Heinrich rol sy oë vir my en vra hoeveel fotos wil ek dan nou hê, en of ek die foto neem omdat ek so bietjie meer opgetof as normaal is? Hy neem toe tog maar my foon om die foto te neem. Na die foto moet ons vir ‘n laaste keer groet. Trane kan nie anders as om in ons oë op te dam nie. Ons druk mekaar meer as een keer, net om seker te maak ons onthou die fleshy hugs tot ons mekaar weer te siene kry. Daar stap ‘n man wat pas parkeer het verby, seker om sy inkopies by Impala te doen en hy kyk ons so bietjie vreemd aan, veral na ek vir Jaco gegroet het, met trane in my oë, gesig weg gedraai, want ek weet sommer as ek en Jaco vir mekaar kyk, gaan ons nog meer huil.
Ek besef net al hoe meer dat die Here my en my sussies provinsies en kontinente uit mekaar moes sit, sodat ons meer gereeld met mekaar kon kommunikeer. My ander sussie het Centurion vir Riversdal verruil terwyl die oudste sussie en haar man Jaco, Suid-Afrika vir Nieu-Seeland verruil het. Hoe ironies is die lewe nie? Mens waardeer eers iemand as hulle nie meer bereikbaar is nie. Pretoria is nie so ver van Skeerpoort af gewees nie, tog het ons nie so gereeld bymekaar gekuier toe hulle almal nog in Pretoria gebly het nie. Ons het wel voor ons kinders gehad het, gereeld gekuier, maar soos wat die tyd aangestap het, kindertjies bygekom het en die lewe gebeur het, het dit al hoe minder begin gebeur….
Nie te min, ek was dankbaar vir elke sekond wat ek saam met Jaco gehad het. Al was dit nie so baie soos wat ek gehoop het nie, was dit tog iets wat ek vir altyd sal koester in my binneste. Erika en Jaco – ek mis julle stukkend. Soos alles in my lewe wat nie lekker is nie, probeer ek nie om heeltyd aan die verlange te dink nie, want, ek sal dan net een misrabele hopie huil wees die heeltyd! Want hoe kan mens nie anders, as om hartseer te wees van verlange, vir mense wat jy al jou lewe lank ken nie?
Tot ons mekaar weer sien. Hopelik gou. Ek bid dat ons skip sal inkom en dat ons nie by die lughawe wag en hom mis nie! Ek ken my swaer al vir 28 jaar. Ou mense ken mekaar al vir 28 jaar en nie ek of hy voel oud nie, so ek skrap maar daardie gesegde van ou mense wat mekaar lank ken. Dit was ‘n eer en voorreg om jou vir ‘n aand te huisves en weer te kon sien voor jy terug zirts oor die water. Veilig reis, ek koester die in persoon gesprekke en fleshyhugs tot ons dit weer kan doen. Teen die tyd dat die inskrywing gepubliseer is, het jy alweer veilig geland in Nieu-Seeland….dis net hoe vinnig die tyd vlieg en hoe maklik dit eintlik is om so ver te reis! Love you to the moon and back. Mis julle stukkend!
Like every month before, since I started writing about the Bible scriptures on the Desk pads, I cannot help but smile and grin by myself. Because God KNOWS. He is outside of time, and He KNOWS that I will be able to relate in some way to the scripture every month.
This month the scripture is about righteousness and kindness or loyalty as some versions refer to it. The other word to be used instead of kindness or loyalty is benevolent. Not too long ago, I wrote something about this word (see entry – The Word published in November 2022). Benevolence means to have a quality to do good and be kind.
I am therefore interpreting this scripture that we have to chase after (or seek – although some versions speak about hunt – which implies it is an activity of finding something that is not always visible and easy to find) righteousness AND benevolence. My perspective and experience with people, is that everyone does not hunt or seek this. To me, this does not make sense as to why people don’t act in this way, because it is so obvious to me. Something that I have made a part of my life. Logic you know? It seems that people do not always live this way. Someone once told me Not everyone eats from the Logic tree. Something that is logic and obvious to me, is not so for the next person.
Everywhere I am confronted with righteousness and benevolence. Situations cross my path that I am confronted with and must deal with – it is not always necessarily work related, but rather when life happens, and other decisions need to be taken. Things happen that really go against my grain and what I stand for. Then I cannot help but think HOW such things can happen? What spirit is truly ruling in people’s lives? Righteousness or wickedness? Are they truly benevolent towards others or are there always motives behind their actions, living with a motto of each for his own?
Now I can spend hours talking about bad experiences that I have had in my life, from way back when up to this day. But this is not the purpose of this blog. The purpose is not to make everyone negative about life and how others seem to live their lives. The purpose is to be uplifting, inspiring, building up rather than breaking down. To seek the positive in all situations, even if the situations come across very negative. To be able to identify with Scripture, clinging onto God’s promises, rather than having pity parties AND opening up a can of worms with it. My goodness, WHO wants to eat worms AND moan at the same time?
This brings me back to the Scripture for this month. Do people not know the promises held for those who seek or hunt righteousness and benevolence? There it is, black on white in the Bible. If you seek or hunt righteousness, you will find life, righteousness AND honour. Wow. This is HUGE. I will rather not go into the opposite meanings – but maybe it is something to think about… My question is – what are you chasing? Do you know what the result will be of that which you are running after? What are you choosing today? From what tree are you eating today? Are you also at the Logic Tree? Is it obvious to you? To chase after righteousness and benevolence?
Soos elke maand vantevore, sedert ek begin skryf het oor die Bybelverse op die Desk pads, kan ek nie help om by myself te glimlag nie. Want God WEET. Hy is buite tyd, en Hy WEET dat ek elke maand sal kan identifiseer op een of ander manier met die skrifvers.
Hierdie maand se skrif gaan oor geregtigheid en weldadigheid. Nou ek het die betekenis van weldadigheid gaan opsoek, want dis nou nie ‘n woord wat ek eintlik gebruik nie. My resultaat van my soektog, was verwysings na Engelse woorde, waarvan een Benevolent is. Ek het nie te lank gelede nie, geskryf oor Benevolence (sien inskrywing – Die Woord gepubliseer in November 2022). Benevolence beteken om ‘n kwaliteit uit te oefen van goeie bedoelens, om gaaf te wees (ek het nou hier direk vertaal van die Engelse betekenis af so nie noodwendig taalkundig korrek nie).
Ek interpreteer dus hierdie vers dat mens geregtigheid EN goedgesindheid moet najaag en nastreef. My perspektief en ervaring is dat almal nie dit najaag nie. Dit maak nie vir my sin hoekom nie, want dis tog voor-die-hand-liggend vir my. Iets wat ek deel van my lewe maak. Logies jy weet? Dit kom nie altyd voor of mense so leef nie. Iemand het eenkeer vir my gesê Not everyone eats from the Logic tree. So iets wat vir my logies en voor-die-hand-liggend is, is glad nie so vir die volgende persoon nie.
Oral word ek gekonfronteer met geregtigheid en goedgesindheid. Situasies kom oor my pad wat ek moet hanteer en mee gekonfronteer word en dis nie altyd noodwendig iets werksgewys nie. Dis wanneer die lewe gebeur en besluite geneem moet word oor goed. Aksies van ander wat my dwars in die krop steek. Dan kan ek nie help om te dink HOE kan sulke goed gebeur nie? Watter gees heers daar regtig in mense se lewens? Geregtigheid of ongeregtigheid? Is hulle jou werklik goedgesind of is daar eintlik maar net by-motiewe en amper ‘n leuse van elke ou vir homself?
Nou ek kan vir ure uitbrei oor slegte ervarings wat ek gehad het in my lewe al, van toentertyd tot nou, maar ek sal nie. Want dis nie die doel van die blog nie. Die doel is nie om almal negatief op te sweep nie. Die doel is om tot stigting te lei, mense op te bou. Die positiewe te soek in situasies, al kom dit hoe negatief oor. Te kan identifiseer met Bybelverse, vas te klou aan God se beloftes, eerder as om ‘n pity party te hê EN ‘n blikkie wurms oop te maak saam met dit. Want liewe genade tog, WIE wil nou wurms eet EN kla op dieselfde tyd?
Dit bring my terug na die Bybelvers vir die maand toe. Weet mense nie wat is die belofte vir díe wat geregtigheid en weldadigheid najaag nie? Dit staan swart op wit in die Bybel. As jy geregtigheid najaag, sal jy die lewe, geregtigheid EN eer vind. Wow. Dis groot. Ek sal maar liewers nie ingaan op die teenoorgestelde betekenis nie…..maar los die leser om te gaan dink daaroor… My vraag is, wat jaag jy na? Weet jy wat die resultaat is van wat jy najaag? Wat kies jy vandag? Van watter boom eet jy vandag? Is jy saam by die Logic tree? Is dit voor-die-hand-liggend vir jou? Om geregtigheid en weldadigheid na te jaag?
Language purist. Tennis fanatic. Entrepreneur. Friendly. These are all characteristics of Eugene Smith. Today was the last opportunity to honour his life, a big legend that went home to our Heavenly Father. The day was gorgeous and could not be more perfect. Bright sunshine with clear blue skies. The birds singing and everything else on earth going on as normal, even if he is no longer with us.
I met Uncle Eugene through his daughter Nadine. He was one of my clients. I did not see him on a monthly basis, but we had telephonic conversations intermittently, throughout the year and I saw him and Aunty Ria at least once a year to discuss business, signing off financials and minutes and so forth.
He was always eager to chat, telling a story from his younger days. In the finest detail he would describe how he worked out the measurements for signage for his businesses. So many times, he told me that I must enjoy it being 40. The time goes so fast and 40 is actually a really nice time on one’s life. He always said In die Haak (here I cannot translate to English because what would I say? Sharp?) when we had a discussion about something and had to make a decision about something that we had to finalise. He always had a smile on his face, and I am sure if he had a theme song for his life, it would be something to the effect of a very old Afrikaans song called Ek is lief vir die wêreld sung by Groep Twee.
The family’s request, for those attending the funeral, was to wear white or colourful clothes. Not black. My husband and I chatted when I saw the request on Facebook. We understand that it is actually more appropriate than black, because it is a celebration of his life on earth that is going to take place. For sure it is not easy for those left behind, but we must all be elated with joy that he is with Jesus now, a much better place! The service was led by Aunty Ria’s eldest brother. My thoughts wander back to my own mother’s funeral.
I was not focussed on what was being said the whole time, because I am thinking back about how it felt for me on that day. The day when I was right in front of the church, next to my sisters and father. It feels like a blur, I cannot remember it in much detail. It also feels like 100 years ago, even if it was only a mere 6 years ago. My thoughts come back to the here and now. I listen attentively to tributes that are being told by those who knew him well. The core of everyone’s messages was how he touched their lives and the same characteristics that he portrayed came through in the messages. What a big personality he had, in spite of chronic pain that he constantly had and never showed. How he overcame all his challenges in life. With a song in his heart and a smile on his face.
I remember how Aunty Ria once told me that Uncle Eugene is very set on speaking pure Afrikaans. It almost made me more aware about the way that I talked. He always ended telephonic conversations with Totsiens while I said Bye on my side. I cannot help but think that the English that comes through in my language is linked directly to my work (I work in English every day, the whole day, even if the clients are Afrikaans, all calculations and returns are done in English). Of course, my mother was also English, so I think that also adds to the reason why I say Bye at the end of a conversation rather than Totsiens. To join in with Uncle Eugene’s humour, I added a meaning of an Afrikaans word in the gallery of this entry, I am sure he would have enjoyed this!
Back to the day, I listen attentively to what everyone said. How he made a big impact at the PNA, with plans and dreams for the group. How his daughter elaborated about how he ran with her, helping her to achieve a 21 km run in less than 2 hours. How he supported and motivated her. How he made Aunty Ria run the Comrades, after she made a joke saying that is something that she wants to do. The memories just go on and on. In the process, I learnt more about Uncle Eugene, even if he is no longer on earth.
After the service, I chat with Nadine. We both get teary eyed. I search frantically for a tissue in my handbag. Nadine stops me, opening up the zipper of her handbag that she was wearing across her chest saying I must take one. I look down and cannot help to burst out in laughter. It is jam packed with tissues. Not a wallet or cell phone in sight. Her son asked her if she is packing tissues for everyone that is attending the service, only for her to answer him that it is actually just for her. I think Uncle Eugene would have laughed at this handbag full of tissues!
Aunty Ria, Nadine, Justin and family – my heart is shattered with you about someone that is no longer here, living such a full life, an inspiration for so many people. I will always remember his laughter, how we could laugh and share jokes. You are so blessed to be able to call him husband, father and grandfather! May his legend live on through those left behind. He leaves a big legacy behind, something we can look up to; remember and learn from. Now that I think about it, he lived the PNA slogan in his life. Colour your world. That is what he did with every person whose life he touched – he came to colour it, enriching it. Uncle Eugene, you are missed by many people on earth, but we know that you are now in a much better place. Rest in Peace.
Taalpuris. Tennis fanatikus. Entrepreneur. Vriendelik. Hierdie is alles eienskappe van Eugene Smith. Vandag was die laaste geleentheid om eer te betoon aan ‘n groot legende wat huis toe gegaan het na ons Hemelse Vader toe. ‘n Mooier dag kon dit nie wees nie. Helder sonskyn, blou lug. Die voëltjies wat sing en alles wat hier op aarde aangaan soos normaal, dit alles terwyl hy nie meer hier is nie.
Oom Eugene het ek leer ken deur sy dogter Nadine. Hy was een van my kliënte. Ek het hom nie maandeliks gesien nie, maar ons het gereeld oor die foon gesels en ek het ten minste een maal per jaar vir hom en tannie Ria gesien om besigheid te praat, state en notules af te teken en so meer.
Hy was altyd gretig om ‘n staaltjie uit sy jong dae te vertel. In die fynste detail te beskryf hoe hy die afmetings doen vir naamborde van sy besighede (ek moes signage gaan Google vir die Afrikaanse weergawe – want ek voel hierdie inskrywing moet so na as moontlik wees aan hoe oom Eugene gepraat het). So baie keer het hy vir my gesê dat ek dit moet geniet om 40 te wees. Die tyd gaan so vinnig en 40 is eintlik ‘n lekker tyd in ‘n mens se lewe. Hy het altyd gesê In die Haak as ons oor iets gesels het en iets moes besluit om te finaliseer. Hy het altyd geglimlag en ek is seker as hy ‘n tema lied vir sy lewe gehad het sou dit iets in die lyn van Ek is lief vir die wêreld gesing deur Groep Twee (‘n baaaaaie ou liedjie ek weet) gewees het.
Die familie se versoek, vir diegene wat die roudiens bywoon, was om wit of vrolike, helder kleure aan te trek. Nie swart nie. Ek en my man gesels toe ek die versoek sien op Facebook. Ons verstaan dat dit eintlik van pas is, want ‘n viering van sy lewe hier op aarde gaan gebeur. Dit is vir seker swaar vir die wat agterbly, maar eintlik moet ons saam bly wees dat hy nou by Jesus is, op ‘n baie beter plek! Die diens word gelei deur tannie Ria se oudste broer. My eie gedagtes dwaal terug na my ma se roudiens.
Ek fokus nie die heeltyd op wat gesê word nie want ek dink terug aan hoe dit gevoel het op daardie dag vir my. Toe ék heel voor in die kerk gesit het, langs my sussies en my pa. Dit voel soos ‘n blur, ek kan nie lekker onthou nie. Dit voel ook soos 100 jaar gelede, al was dit net 6 jaar terug. My gedagtes keer terug na die hier en nou. Ons luister na huldeblyke wat oorgedra word. Die kern van almal se boodskap was hoe hy hul lewens aangeraak het en karakter eienskappe wat ooreenstem, kom deur. Watter groot persoonlikheid hy gehad het, ten spyte van chroniese pyn wat hy nooit gewys het nie. Hoe hy al sy uitdagings in die lewe oorkom en oorbrug het. Met ‘n lied in sy hart en ‘n glimlag op sy gesig.
Ek onthou hoe tannie Ria eenkeer vir my genoem het dat oom Eugene erg is oor suiwer Afrikaans. Dit het my amper meer bewus begin maak van hoe ek praat. Hy het altyd die telefoniese gesprekke afgelei met Totsiens terwyl ek ‘n Bye sê aan my kant. Ek kan nie help om te dink dat my Engels wat deurkom maar eintlik gekoppel is aan my werk nie (ek werk elke dag heeldag in Engels, al is die kliënte Afrikaans, word opgawes en berekeninge in Engels gedoen). Natuurlik was my ma ook Engels gewees, so ek dink dit dra ook by oor hoekom ek Bye sê aan die einde van ‘n gesprek eerder as Totsiens. Om by oom Eugene se sin vir humor aan te sluit, laai ek ‘n woord se betekenis op in die gallery van die inskrywing, ek is seker hy sou dit geniet het!
Terug by die dag, luister ek aandagtig na wat almal gesê het. Hoe hy ‘n groot impak by PNA gemaak het, met planne en drome vir die groep. Hoe sy dogter uitbrei oor hoe hy saam met haar gehardloop het om 21 km in minder as 2 ure te hardloop. Haar ondersteun het, motiveer het. Hoe hy vir tannie Ria die Comrades laat hardloop het, na sy spottenderwys gesê het dat dit iets is wat sy graag wou doen. So gaan die herinneringe aan en aan. In die proses, leer ek nog meer van oom Eugene, al is hy nie meer hier op aarde nie.
Na die tyd gaan gesels ek met Nadine. Ons albei raak tranerig. Ek soek verward vir ‘n snesie in my handsak. Nadine stop my, maak die ritssluiter van haar handsakkie wat sy skuins oor haar skouer dra oop en sê ek moet een neem. Ek kyk af en kon nie help om uit te bars van die lag nie. Dit is propvol tissues gepak. Nie ‘n beursie of selfoon in sig nie. Haar seuntjie het gevra of sy snesies pak vir almal wat die diens gaan bywoon, net vir haar om te antwoord dat dit eintlik net vir haar is. Ek dink oom Eugene sou so lekker gelag het vir hierdie handsak vol snesies!
Tannie Ria, Nadine, Justin en familie – my hart is saam met julle stukkend oor sy afsterwe, iemand wat so ‘n vol lewe gelei het, so ‘n inspirasie was vir so baie mense. Ek sal sy laggie altyd onthou, ons kon lekker lag en grappies deel. Hy los ‘n leemte in baie mense se lewens. Julle is bevoorreg om hom man, pa en oupa te kon noem! Mag sy legende voortleef deur die wat agterbly. Hy laat ‘n groot nalatenskap na, iets waarna ons kan opkyk, onthou en uit leer. Noudat ek daaraan dink, het hy eintlik PNA se slagspreuk en leuse uitgeleef. Colour your world. Dis wat hy gedoen het met elke persoon wie se lewe hy aangeraak het – hy het dit kom inkleur en verryk. Oom Eugene, oom word gemis deur baie mense op aarde, maar ons weet dat oom nou op ‘n baie beter plek is. Rus in Vrede.
The whole time while I am working, I am thinking about this month’s scripture. A tough one I think to understand fully without taking offence so to speak from what God is trying to tell us here. But in the same breath, I want to say it is actually very simple.
Well, as I have said many times before, February is our busiest month, which means I work longer hours than usual to get everything that is required to be done, done and submitted on time. It is nothing new to me. I just feel sorry for my kids, because time with them is few and far between at the beginning of a year. Time to write feels even less. I decided, unofficially, the other day, that the first term of the year is just busy and NOTHING that I try to do about this, is going to change that fact.
Unless I do a career change of course, but, who wants to, at almost 42, take on something new and start from scratch? Ok, I admit, I DID start something new with Beroepsvrou, but not to replace my day job. Ok, back to the realities of being BUSY at work. Now, for us it is really very busy. It is financial year end for majority of our clients. There are important calculations that need to be done before 28 (or 29) February. Of course, the extra day in a leap year helps, only if it falls on a weekday though. None the less, we have 28 days available for 3 out of 4 years to do these tasks.
This scripture makes me think of what we do for a living, day in and day out and what we have stumbled across in our lives. People that are not always honest, not declaring everything. Potential new clients with ridiculous requests, that we stop in the first meeting, only to never hear of them again. We stand for righteousness. Tax must be paid, if you like it or not. I know I am wandering off, but I am trying to put everything into perspective about how things are in my life, what the expectations are and what the legal implications of everything is.
Back to the scripture. It can also be taken back to the smallest thing that you are dishonest about. I worked at a firm, years ago, where a senior staff member explained it to me once about how a timesheet works. His words were something to the effect of: When you work at Pick n Pay, and you steal sugar, you are stealing. When you work here, and you steal time, doing private things when you should be working, you are also stealing. I will NEVER forget this. Such a good example about what an employee is trusted with. Actually anyone doing work, whether for yourself or an employer. Theft is not restricted to physical items, but can also go to something like time – time billed on timesheets, invoices issued. The list of things feels endless.
Now I can sit here for days talking and debating about what is big and small and what one can be dishonest about. The long and the short is, if you do something private for 15 minutes, and you are actually stealing your employer or the client’s time for whom you are doing the tasks, or if you take one teaspoon of sugar from the canteen, well, it remains theft. I reckon that is what THIS verse is about. Now that we are caught up in financial year end, the following also comes up with me – what is really declared on returns? Are people truly honest about EVERYTHING in their lives?
If you can be dishonest about something small, then you can easily be dishonest with bigger things. This is the exhortation (I had to Google this word the English version of vermaan in Afrikaans – I have NEVER heard of it before) from God. Then, there is the proverbial tap on the shoulder in the first part of the verse – if you can be honest with small things, then you can be trusted with many bigger things. What image are you portraying to the world? People’s reputations usually go ahead of them. What is your reputation? Honest or dishonest?
Die heeltyd terwyl ek werk, dink ek na oor die maand se skrifvers. ‘n Taai een dink ek om eintlik behoorlik te verstaan sonder om offence te vat van wat die Here hier vir ons probeer sê. Maar in dieselfde asem, wil ek eintlik sê is dit heel eenvoudig.
Nou ja, Februarie is ons besigste maand, wat noodwendig beteken dat ek langer ure as normaal werk net om alles wat vereis word gedoen te kry. Dis niks nuuts vir my nie. Ek kry net my kinders jammer, want tyd saam met hulle is maar min so aan die begin van die jaar. Tyd vir skryf, voel vir my, is ook nog minder. Ek het eintlik, nie-amptelik, die ander dag besluit dat die eerste kwartaal van ‘n nuwe jaar besig is, en NIKS wat ek omtrent dit eers probeer doen gaan daardie feit verander nie.
Tensy ek my beroep verander natuurlik, maar, wie wil nou op amper 42 iets heeltemal nuuts aanpak en van voor af begin? Ok, ek erken, ek HET iets nuuts begin met Beroepsvrou, maar nie om my day job te vervang nie. Goed, terug by realiteite van BESIG wees met werk. Nou dit is vir ons so verskriklik besig, want dis finansiële jaareinde vir meerderheid van ons kliënte. Dus is daar belangrike berekeninge wat gedoen moet word en ingedien moet word voor 28 (of 29) Februarie. Natuurlik help die ekstra dag in skrikkeljaar – slegs as dit op ‘n werksdag val. Maar nie te min, dis 3 uit 4 jare net 28 dae wat ons het om hierdie te kan doen.
Die skrifvers laat my dink aan wat ons elke dag van ons lewe doen, wat ons al teë gekom het in ons lewens. Mense wat nie altyd eerlik is nie, nie alles verklaar nie. Potensiële nuwe kliënte met belaglike vereistes, wat ons sommer in die eerste vergadering in die kiem smoor en dan hoor ons net nooit weer van hulle nie. Ons staan vir reg en geregtigheid. Belasting moet betaal word, of jy nou daarvan hou of nie. Ek weet ek dwaal af, maar, ek probeer net alles in perspektief plaas van hoe dit gaan in my lewe, waarmee ek werk, wat daar verwag word en wat die wetlike aspek van alles is.
Maar terug by die vers. Dit kan ook terug getrek word na die kleinste dingetjie waarin jy oneerlik kan wees en oorkom. Ek het destyds by ‘n firma gewerk, waar die een senior personneellid eenkeer vir my verduidelik het oor hoe ‘n tydstaat werk. Sy woorde, in Engels, was iets in die lyn van die volgende: When you work at Pick n Pay, and you steal sugar, you are stealing. When you work here, and you steal time, doing private things when you should be working, you are also stealing. Ek sal dit in my lewe NOOIT vergeet nie. So ‘n goeie vergelyking van waarmee ‘n werknemer en werkgewer wat tyd verkoop, vertrou word. Diefstal is nie beperk tot fisiese items nie, maar tyd ook – tyd wat geboek word, fakture wat uitgereik word. Die lys voel, soos altyd, eindeloos.
Nou ek kan vir dae hier sit en redeneer oor alles wat groot en klein is, waaroor mens oneerlik kan wees. Die lang en die kort is, as jy 15 minute iets privaat doen, en eintlik maar net jou werkgewer of kliënt se tyd waarvoor jy vergoed word, steel; of jy steel een teelepel se suiker by die kantien, bly dit steel. En ek reken DIS waaroor hierdie versie gaan. Noudat ons so vasgevang is in finansiële jaareinde, kom die ook by my op – wat word werklik verklaar op opgawes? Is mense werklik getrou en eerlik oor ALLES in hul lewens?
As jy oor ietsie kleins oneerlik is, dan kan jy maklik oor baie goed oneerlik wees. Dis die vermaning van God af. Dan, is die spreekwoordelike klop op die skouer, die eerste deel van die vers – as jy oor ietsie kleins eerlik is en mee vertrou kan word, dan kan jy oor baie goed eerlik wees en mee vertrou word. Watter beeld straal jy uit vir die wêreld? Mens se reputasie loop hulle gewoonlik vooruit. Wat is jou reputasie? Eerlik of oneerlik?
The distinct smell of Creosote (I had to google this spelling) always takes me back to my childhood. Why? You may ask. Growing up with a Wendy Hut in the back yard, converted into a Craft Room, the wood of the wendy was treated with Creosote. I was exposed to crafting at a young age. I will always associate that smell to crafting.
I grew up, having a mother who always did something creative, teaching her three girls to escape from the real world through crafting. I am guessing that is why she crafted, because that is why I craft. To me, crafting does not have rules. It has rules, but it is not like my day job you know? If you make a mistake, you repaint it or start over again, or you wing it and see where the project goes and what it lands up looking like.
With my day job it is not that simple, and I feel obliged to do things perfectly and correctly the first time round. At this point in writing this article, I do want to point out that now is the time to switch on the kettle and make yourself a nice cup of coffee (or tea) before continuing.
You see, I cannot break this article up into smaller chapters as I will lose the essence of what I feel is being pressed on my heart to say. February is a busy month. Probably my least favourite month of the year, if one is allowed to have a least favourite month.
For many reasons I am not a Feb Fan. One of the biggest reasons, is the fact that I am always exhausted by the time it is my daughter’s birthday on the 7th. Yes I know, it is only the beginning of the month, but I know what lies ahead, I know the hours I am required to work, I just know what is waiting for me work wise. My little EMP201 (for those who don’t know – it is one of the many tax returns due on the 7th of each month) is such an enthusiast when it comes to her birthday.
I feel guilty that I cannot always share her excitement with her. Even more so, that I only had until around the 14th of February in 2014, the year she was born in, to spend undivided attention on her, before reverting back to my laptop to work, do calculations and submit returns. It was almost breastfeeding while typing and filing returns. It is like I do not have ample time available to just be in the moment, enjoying the preparations coming up to her birthday. Does this make sense? Or am I so caught up in my little work world, that I forget to stop and smell the roses?
The other reason for the lack of love for the Month of Love is, there is just NO TIME for anything else. The kids are growing up, their schedules are starting to pick up pace, something I never get right at budgeting for time-wise. I mean, I feel like I do not have time to purchase groceries (it is a frustration because fresh salad on a weekly basis is a MUST for us but getting around to Woollies is a challenge), let alone to get the kids on time to their additional maths classes, taking them food before their art classes start and exercise.
Exercise I refuse to skip. That is the one thing that keeps me sane. I cannot do all the funky moves associated with Cross Fit, but I arrive twice a week and I try them – I can see how I have grown stronger and am amazed at what I can do compared to when I just started. I then attend another day of exercise, and on that day I do spinning, which is something my son loves doing, so this is our time together. The extracurricular activities of the kids are also a no-go zone when it comes to deciding whether to not do it. We have to do it and work around that.
You see, in 2020, before the lock down and before the Pandemic, I made a conscious decision to stop putting work ahead of everything. I was missing out on life, because we lived a motto of Let’s just get through this month. Twelve months of the year, year in and year out. And that is how we lived for many years. I even felt that time was stolen from me, for years, because of this motto that we lived by. Actually, it may have been 2019 already that I made this decision. Anyway. In the middle of February 2020, at the busiest time of all, I started to Cross Fit, (after praying for years to God to make me love exercise, I finally found the thing that I can do and enjoy while getting back into shape).
Yes you can laugh. I am just complaining about how hectic February is and then I take on something like that. Is there ever a good time? No there is not. Now you may wonder how I am connecting the dots with this entry. I started with crafts, sang my moan songs about work and this month of Love which I do not love so much and now I am talking about exercise. But wait, you will see…. everything is intertwined in my life.
Back to the crafts. For months I had been dreaming about a Cricut machine. I was torn between the Joy and the Maker. My final decision was the Joy – due to size and price. In February (you see the trend here…?) I decided to make the purchase.
I knew it was the wrong month to make the purchase, because I knew that I would want to craft more than work in this crazy month. I decided to make the purchase from Kelirosh Studio. Her prices were the best (I missed the Takealot specials and could not get to Makro). I have also only heard good things about this online shop and this was enough to convince me to make the purchase there.
The guilt that I experienced after making the purchase was insane. But when the box arrived, it was as if God showed me that it is ok. It is ok to want to have a life, wanting to do things and not only work. On the box, I noticed two Flamingos. Now the whole thing that my blog and ministry revolves around is Flamingos. This is mind blowing and insane – the Flamingos on the box.
Even the posture of the Flamingos on the box were similar to two used in my designs. Immediately I felt as if God was talking to me here. Confirming that it is ok to make this purchase in the month which I consider to be not the best month for me personally.
I realise too, that we are raising a new generation of crafters. I grew up with things like making candles, cards with stamps and embossing powder, little wire trees with gemstones stuck on them, to name only a few. The next generation of crafters involves technology like this little Joy machine. As you can gather, both my children have hi-jacked the machine, fighting over who is going to use it next. Taking the pressure off me to use it so that I can focus on work for now – but when this busy period is over, I am going to jump in and do stuff with it.
A week or so after the purchase of the Joy, I received a phone call from a Mrs. SA semi-finalist, Nicky Kruger, asking if I would like to consider being a sponsor to her for this pageant or competition (not sure how we are supposed to refer to this?). Now this is a longish story of how we “know” each other, but the long and the short is, she is a teacher at a school where I served last year, handing out aprons to students.
I was dumb-struck, overwhelmed and excited all at the same time. My initial response was that it is CRAZY mad at work, I can only answer her mid-March after all my deadlines have been tended to. Of course, curiosity got the better of me, I read through the information she sent me and made up my mind. This is such a wonderful opportunity, I cannot decline.
Now you see, again this is February. Again there seems to be little time to think things through and get things done. I am starting to wonder if God is not pushing me in a direction and allowing all these things to happen in the Month of Love, just so that I can start loving Feb again?
Who knows, but, it seems that big things happen in February. The birth of a child, the need to exercise, the need to craft more and now the sponsorship for a HUGE event like Mrs. SA. I think God is giving back my Joy for the month when I experience it the least.
I just have to love the puns from God. The Joy represented by a physical tangible little machine, literally bringing Joy to those using it. Because is that not how we as humans are? We want to SEE it and KNOW it is there…. and don’t get me wrong – I am not placing my Joy in the Joy, it is just God’s way of talking to me, giving me a tangible reminder of things that I need reminding of.
Die skerp reuk van Creosote (ek moes dit gaan google – die spelling en dit word uitgespreek as Kreesout – dis hoe ek al die jare die woord in my kop gesien het) vat my altyd terug na my kinderjare. Hoekom? Vra jy dalk. Ek het groot geword met ‘n Wendy huis in die agtertuin, wat omskep was in ‘n Kuns Kamer, die hout van die Wendy huis was met Creosote behandel. Ek was blootgestel aan kuns en crafting op ‘n jong ouderdom. Ek sal altyd hierdie reuk assosieër met kuns en crafting.
Ek het groot geword met ‘n ma wat altyd iets kreatiefs gedoen het, iemand wat haar drie dogters geleer het om so bietjie die realiteite van die wêreld te ontsnap deur kuns en crafting te doen. Ek raai maar of dit is hoekom sy kuns en crafting gedoen het, want dis hoekom ek dit doen. Met crafting is daar vir my geen reëls nie. Ok dit het reëls, maar, dis nie soos my day job nie jy weet? As jy ‘n fout maak, verf jy oor dit of jy begin van voor af, of jy wing dit net en sien hoe die projek gaan en hoe dit gaan opeindig om te lyk.
Met my day job is dit nie so eenvoudig nie, en ek voel verplig om dinge perfek te doen en reg te doen die eerste keer. Op hierdie tydstip terwyl ek die artikel skryf, reken ek dis tyd om die ketel aan te sit en vir jou ‘n lekker koppie koffie of tee te maak voor jy verder lees.
Jy sien, ek kan nie die artikel opbreek in kleiner hoofstukke nie, anders verloor ek die kruks van die saak wat op my hart geplaas was om te sê. Februarie is ‘n besige maand. Seker my minder gunsteling maand van die jaar, as mens nou toegelaat is om ‘n swart skaap maand te hê.
Vir soveel redes is ek nie ‘n Feb aanhanger nie. Een van die grootste redes is, die feit dat ek altyd uitgeput voel teen die tyd dat dit my dogter se verjaarsdag is op die 7de van die maand. Ja, ek weet, dis net aan die begin van die maand, maar ek weet wat voor lê, ek weet die ure wat ek vereis word om te werk, ek weet net wat lê vir my voor werksgewys. My klein EMP201 (vir die wat nie weet nie – dis een van die vele belastingopgawes wat op die 7de van elke maand ingedien moet word) is so entoesiasties wanneer dit kom by haar verjaarsdag.
Ek voel skuldig omdat ek nie haar opgewondenheid altyd met haar kan deel nie. En ek voel nog meer so, omdat ek ongeveer net tot die 14de Februarie 2014 gehad het, die jaar wat sy gebore was, om onverdeelde aandag aan haar te gee, voordat ek weer terug gekeer het na my skootrekenaar (hoe is dit vir ‘n mooi Afrikaanse woord?), om berekeninge te doen en opgawes in te dien. Dit was amper borsvoeding terwyl ek getik het op die rekenaar en opgawes ingedien het. Dit is asof ek net nooit genoeg tyd beskikbaar het om die oomblik en die voorbereiding vir haar verjaarsdag te geniet nie. Maak dit sin? Of is ek so vasgevang in my klein werk wêreld, dat ek vergeet om te stop en bietjie die rose se geur te geniet? (Die klink net beter in Engels – to stop and smell the roses).
Die ander rede vir die gebrek aan liefde vir die Maand van Liefde, is, daar is net NIKS TYD vir enige iets anders nie. Die kinders word groter, hul skedules begin voller raak, iets wat ek voel of ek nooit reg kry om voor te begroot tydsgewys nie. Ek meen, ek het nie eens tyd om inkopies te gaan doen nie (dit is ‘n frustrasie want vars slaai op ‘n weeklikse basis is ‘n MOET vir ons en om by Woollies uit te kom is ‘n uitdaging), nie eens te praat van om die kinders betyds by hul ander dinge te kry soos ekstra Wiskunde klasse, kos te neem voor kuns klasse en oefening nie.
Ek weier om oefening te mis. Dis die een ding wat maak dat ek nie dit verloor nie. Ek kan nie al die funky bewegings van Cross Fit altyd reg kry en uitvoer nie, maar, ek daag twee maal per week op en ek probeer hulle doen – ek kan sien hoeveel sterker ek geword het en is verbaas oor wat ek nou al kan doen teenoor wat ek kon doen toe ek net begin het. Dan woon ek nog ‘n dag van oefening by en daar doen ek spinning, iets wat my seun mal oor is, so dis ons tyd saam. Die buitemuurse aktiwiteite van die kinders is ook ‘n no-go zone as dit kom by besluit om dit te doen of nie. Ons moet dit net laat gebeur en dit maak werk, en beplan maar alles rondom dit.
Jy sien, in 2020, voor die grendeltyd en voor die Pandemie, het ek ‘n doelbewuste besluit geneem om op te hou om werk voor alles te plaas in my lewe. Ek het uitgemis op die lewe, want, ons het ‘n slagspreuk geleef van Kom ons kom net deur hierdie maand. En dit is hoe ons geleef het vir baie jare. Ek het selfs op ‘n kol gevoel of tyd gesteel was by my, weens hierdie slagspreuk waarby ons gehou het. 12 maande van die jaar, jaar in en jaar uit. Eintlik was dit dalk al in 2019 wat ek daardie besluit geneem het. Elkgeval. Middel Februarie 2020, in die besigste tyd ooit, het ek begin om te Cross Fit (na ek vir jare gebid het vir die Here om my lief te maak vir oefening, het ek uiteindelik die ding gekry waarvan ek hou en om my lyf weer in shape te kry).
Ja jy kan maar lag. Ek het nou net gekla oor hoe besig Februarie is en dan vat ek iets soos dit aan. Is daar ooit ‘n goeie tyd? Nee daar is nie. Nou jy kan dalk nou wonder hoe ek die kolle gaan verbind met die inskrywing. Ek begin met crafts, sing dan my klaagliedere oor werk en die Maand van Liefde, waarvoor ek nie so lief is nie en nou praat ek van oefening. Maar wag, jy sal sien…. alles is in een geweef in my lewe.
Terug by die crafts. Vir maande het ek gedroom van ‘n Cricut masjien. Ek was geskeur tussen die Joy en die Maker. My finale besluit was toe die Joy – weens die grootte en die prys. In Februarie (sien jy die trend hier…?) besluit ek toe om die aankoop te maak.
Ek het geweet dit was die verkeerde maand om so iets aan te koop, want ek weet ook dat ek eerder met die nuwe speelding gaan wil eksperimenteer as om te werk in die besige maand. Ek het toe verder besluit om dit by Kelirosh Studio aan te koop. Haar pryse was die beste (ek het die Takealot winskopies gemis en kon nie by Makro uitkom nie). Ek het ook net goeie goed gehoor van hierdie aanlyn winkel en dit was genoeg om my te oortuig om die aankoop daar te maak.
Die skuldgevoel wat ek ervaar het na ek die aankoop gedoen het was belaglik. Maar, toe die boks arriveer, was dit asof die Here vir my gewys het dat dit ok is. Dit is ok om ook ‘n lewe te wil hê, om te wil dinge doen en nie net te werk nie. Op die boks sien ek toe twee Flaminke. Nou die hele ding waaroor my bediening en blog gaan is Flaminke. Dit was net mind blowing en amper belaglik, met respek gesê – die Flaminke op die boks.
Selfs die postuur van die Flaminke op die boks was soortgelyk aan twee wat ek in my ontwerpe gebruik. Onmiddellik voel ek asof die Here met my hier praat. Bevestig dat dit ok is om hierdie aankoop te maak in die maand wat ek sien as die minder lekker maand vir my persoonlik.
Ek besef ook, dat ons ‘n nuwe generasie crafters hier groot maak. Ek het groot geword met goed soos om kerse te maak, kaartjies met stempeltjies en embossing poeier, klein draad boompies met mooi klippies op geplak, om maar net ‘n paar te noem. Die volgende generasie van crafters betrek tegnologie soos hierdie klein Joy masjientjie. Soos jy kan aflei, het beide my kinders besluit om die masjien te hi-jack, hulle baklei oor wie dit volgende gaan gebruik. Dit maak die druk so bietjie ligter vir my om die masjien te gebruik sodat ek nou op werk kan fokus – maar wanneer hierdie besige tyd verby is, gaan ek vir seker inspring en goed doen met hom.
‘n Week of so na die aankoop van die Joy, ontvang ek ‘n oproep van ‘n Mev. SA semi-finalis, Nicky Kruger. Sy vra my of ek dit sal oorweeg om ‘n borg te wees vir hierdie kompetisie (ek is nou nie seker of ek reg hierna verwys nie?). Nou dit is ‘n langerige storie van hoe ons mekaar “ken”, maar die lang en die kort is, sy is ‘n juffrou by ‘n skool waar ek laas jaar gaan bedien het en voorskote uitgedeel het aan studente.
Ek was stom geslaan, oorweldig en opgewonde, alles op dieselfde tyd. My aanvanklike reaksie was dat dit MAL besig is by die werk en ek sal eers haar middel Maart kan beantwoord, wanneer ek al my sperdatums gehaal het. Natuurlik het nuuskierigheid die oorhand gekry, ek het gelees deur die inligting wat sy my gestuur het en ek het my besluit geneem. Dit is so ‘n wonderlike geleentheid, ek kan nie dit van die hand wys nie.
Sien jy nou weer – dis alweer Februarie. Weer lyk dit of daar so min tyd is om dinge deur te dink en goed te doen. Ek begin te wonder of die Here my nie in ‘n rigting druk en toelaat dat al hierdie dinge gebeur, in die Maand van Liefde, net sodat ek weer lief kan word vir Februarie nie?
Wie weet, maar, dit lyk of groot dinge in Februarie gebeur. Die geboorte van ‘n kind, die behoefte om te oefen en crafting te doen en nou hierdie borgskap van ‘n GROOT ding soos Mev. SA. Ek dink God is besig om my Joy vir my terug te gee in die maand wat ek dit die minste ervaar.
Ek moet bieg – ek is lief vir die puns van God af. Die Joy wat verteenwoordig word deur ‘n fisiese, tasbare klein masjientjie, wat letterlik Joy bring vir díe wat dit gebruik. Want, is dit nie hoe ons as mense is nie? Ons wil SIEN en HOOR dis daar – en moet my nie verkeerd verstaan nie – ek plaas nie my Joy in die Joy nie, dis net God se manier om met my te praat, om vir my ‘n tasbare herinnering te gee aan dinge waaraan ek herinner moet word.
Waking up a bit earlier than planned this morning, on a Saturday morning nogal, I head out to Harties. I have an early, 7 am nail appointment with my other Sister from another mister, Irene. I just love early morning drives, especially those on a Saturday. It is as if they have this mystical something to it that makes it special. The Magalies mountains sets the tone for the day with clear blue skies, washed clean after some rain this week, shortly after one of THE hottest January months ever.
None-the-less, the plan was to go and do my nails, run some errands at our local shopping centre, Village Mall and then return home to do some day job tasks. Leaving while the whole household was sleeping, meant I could not whip up my shake in the blender. I leave with only coffee to fill my stomach and off I go.
One of my stops in Village Mall was Woolworths Food, to acquire the fresh salad and fruit for the week. On the way out, my stomach reminded me that it STILL only has had coffee to consume. I stop at the recently installed coffee counter (and with recent I mean towards the end of 2022 – somewhere in the last quarter of the year, Woolworths decided that those in Harties can be spoilt with a coffee counter). Now I am doubting whether it was 2022 or 2021? The days fly past so quickly, I cannot tell. Anyway.
Since the installation and erection of that particular coffee bar, I have only walked past, smelling the very lovely smell of freshly ground coffee beans. Always in a hurry and never having time to stop and just buy one. Today I stopped there, actually wanting to purchase a muffin or something and a coffee. Whilst inspecting the muffins on display and without looking up at the Barista, I asked what muffins they have, I am hungry.
She answers me saying she has plenty of nice things. I ask about the coffee. My question was Is it Lekker? Her reply? Lekker is an understatement. It is Coffee e Monate. I look at her, almost saying HUH? but decide to politely ask her to repeat what she said asking for an explanation of what she meant. She says it is Coffee that slaps. Now she has my attention. Coffee that slaps. What IS that supposed to mean? I guess very much more than Lekker coffee. I LOVE coffee. I consume too much coffee I think.
This convinced me to continue with my decision made a few seconds earlier to purchase and try some of Woolworths’ coffee on this particular Saturday morning. Because, boy oh boy, I need some caffeine to stay awake! We have a pleasant and loud conversation, laughing, talking all the while she is making the coffee. Somewhere during this time, I decided to write about my experience, and I asked her to write down the phrase, because, for the life of me, I am NOT going to remember coffee e Monate until I return home.
During our conversation, I learnt that the lady, with the ever so lovely smile and personality that is also e Monate (if I can use a part of the phrase she taught me with something else – not sure if this is how it works in Tshwana. With this I mean her personality cannot be described with a word like Lekker as that would just be an understatement). Anyway, I learnt that the lady has just returned from leave. She explains that is the reason why she is in a good mood today. Tomalo (I think that was her name – the picture on my phone does not show the name tag clear enough) asks me what coffee I want and do I want to add something extra like sugar, honey or sweetner. I give through my order for a Grande Cappuccino with one brown sugar.
The other Barista calls me to the till to pay. I swipe my Woolworths card more than once and miraculously I get a discount of more than 10% on a Grande coffee at Woollies. Before I leave, Tomalo (sorry if I have your name wrong) says I MUST taste the coffee before I leave, to be sure it is nice. I asked her in Afrikaans Het jy die suiker geroer ook? She explains that while on leave her Afrikaans became a bit rusty, I laugh at this and repeat the question in English.
She stirred it, like a good Barista would do. I take a sip, and gesture with my hand to my face that it IS Coffee e Monate (Coffee that slaps). For the life of me I cannot pronounce the gentlemen’s name, but I ask him and Tomalo to smile, I want to take a picture for my blog entry. Ever so excited they pose and laugh for this picture. Eventually I have a photo that is to my liking, showing everyone’s smiles and excitement.
Before leaving, Tomalo tells me to say hashtag best_baristas_in_harties with my entry. People will comment is her response. We continue to joke and I added a few hashtags to this – #coffee_e_monate and #best_coffee to name a few. She even said that I must return for a second date, this was now the first date. And I must say, I may just make a Woollies Grande Cappuccino a part of my weekly shopping list. Sadly, my coffee did not last as long as the lekker feeling after having this discussion with these two people! It was finished before I got to the dam wall, heading back home to the lovely Skeerpoort.
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