The one with Rachel

Ever since I could remember, I always felt an emotion when I saw Oncology patients without hair. I always wondered how they do it and how they cope without hair? Never in my life, did I think that I would be in a similar position years later. But, here I am, with no hair on my head, having to work through the emotions of hair loss.

A while ago, my husband and a client convinced me to think about wearing a wig. It was not an option for me, as I thought I would be going through this thing without hair, as that is part of the process. I worked through the hair loss process, cried my cries and moved on. Going big on make up and earrings when I feel better between treatments, wearing something to cover my head when I go out in public.

I decided to give it a go, this wig thing that they convinced me to do. A friend of mine, Lorinda, offered to help me with the wig shopping and travelling. I made an appointment for one Saturday morning and off we went to Linden Johannesburg. The place where we had the appointment was at A Few Gray Hairs. A play of words, as the emblem is that of a few bunnies (or hairs). Here we met with Delia Dashwood.

Delia started first by explaining all the science behind the hairs and hair follicles. So much info was given through to us, all of which we did not realise the reality of what is happening while receiving Chemotherapy treatment. I knew that hairs are fast growing cells and that is why the Chemo targets it first (cancer is also a fast growing and dividing cell and that is why Chemo is administered to patients with Cancer). What I did not know is, that due to the treatment, the shaft of the hair follicle changes in shape. Delia mentioned many terms, but I could not remember them at all so I am not going to even try to recall and retype them here.

The Chemo does not kill the hair, so they do not die, they are just targeted while receiving treatment and hence the reason for it falling out, as it is not allowed to divide and grow as it normally does within the body when you don’t receive treatment. The Chemo also causes inflammation of some sort around the hair follicles and that is why it is sore when it falls out. She explained that there is a gland that produces oils and what ever the hairs need to grow, the natural shampoo and conditioner for hair.

I learnt that I was not supposed to shave my hair off with a razor. OOPS! I did it this two weeks ago, as the hair loss of the short stubs was just an irritation. I further learnt that I should not place any products on my head like cream or oil. It is more than likely that the opening on the scalp, will be clogged up, causing inflammation and it can run the risk of being infected. Something which I am trying to avoid at all costs.

She also explained that the change in the hair shaft/follicle, causes the hair to not grow out like it used to be before. Previously the shaft would have been straighter, the Chemo causes it to be less straight, almost with a kink here and there. This in turn causes the hair to grow out curly. They also call it Chemo curl. It will take approximately two years for it to return to normal. I was also told that it is highly likely to grow out grey…

She further explained that in her 30 years of hairdressing experience, she noted that clients took about 10 minutes to adjust to any changes to their hair. Whether voluntary (or involuntary), colour or style changes. The reactions were the same. She then decided to let her clients comb their own hair shortly after cutting or colouring it, leaving them alone for 10 minutes to process it all. She explained that the same hormones, Cortisol, is released, similar to when you go into flight of fight mode. The doses, is, of course less than another stress situation, and our bodies do not necessarily feel it, but the reality is, it is there.

That is why we have this emotional connection with our hair. That is why, when I went through the process of cutting my hair even shorter after it started to fall out, I posted on social media, that it is not just hair. My own hairdresser asked me in the past, when I wanted to cut my hair shorter or do a drastic change, whether I was going through something emotional? I then realised that, when one cannot change anything in your current circumstances and you feel emotional, you revert to changing your hair, in the hopes that you will feel better…. Now it makes more sense to me.

We then proceeded to discuss the wigs and the inner linings, synthetic and real human hair. She compared the inner linings to vehicles. A Honda Jazz vs a BMW. Of course the BMW was much more comfortable, but, it was the pricing that made the decision for me….choosing the Honda over the BMW….real human hair seemed to be a better option as it will last longer than the synthetic hair, which does not like friction. We all know what a Barbie doll’s hair looks like after a while, and I do not want to look like one of those Barbies!

While fitting the wigs on my head, I was amazed at how weird it felt. I have become used to having no hair and now, having hair on my head, seeing it out the corner of my eyes, was just WEIRD! My whole face changed again while having hair on my head. There was one wig, that Lorinda noted, changed my facial expression more than others. Not even I noticed it! But she noticed it. I did not realise that I actually wanted hair. I really thought that I had dealt with having no hair and that I was comfortable with it. Which I was. But wow, with hair, it is just on another level.

On the way home, Lorinda asked me what we are going to call the wig? She must have a name. Something elegant and royal. But for the life of me, I could not think of a name. Shortly after leaving Delia’s premises, my husband phoned me. He wanted to know if we came right with a wig. Of course, he was very curious with what was chosen, and I simply said that he would have to wait and see. I asked him for a name for her, something that does not sound cheesy or “off”. Something nice. It was him that came up with Rachel, named after Rachel from the Friends series.

Lorinda and I immediately took a liking to the name, and that is what we call her now. Rachel is now a part of my life for how long ever it is needed for her to remain, so that I can have some form of normality under the current circumstances that I find myself in. The reaction of my children when I came home was priceless. My son immediately jumped up from the chair he was sitting on, greeting me with a huge smile, saying that he likes it. My daughter also ran to me with a huge smile on her face.

My husband was standing there, looking at me, saying it is weird to see me with hair again, but that it looks really nice to him. He was amazed at how natural it looks. I really thought that my kids were going to be freaked out by the hair, but clearly having no hair at all, was worse for them. Not once did they ever make me feel uncomfortable without hair, nor did they say anything about it. But deep down, their emotions about seeing me without hair was there, hidden away without anyone being the wiser.

I had such a pleasant experience at A Few Gray Hairs with Delia. She really explained everything to me, without being impatient and without just jumping into wig fittings and trying to make a sale. Delia also does such a good job, she, herself, makes wigs from donated hair. She goes around to schools, collecting hair from girls’ ponies, using that in wigs. The wig that I chose is imported from the US, it was readily available to take home immediately (which I secretly had hoped would be the case before going there). I had the choice of waiting for one to be made, but, decided that the one that I fitted had the right hair colour, length and fit on my head. Delia, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for what you do. For the good deeds that you do by making wigs to fit everyone’s needs – from donated free wigs, to hand made wigs to imported wigs. May you be blessed in abundance for your good heart!

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