This is officially my first entry of 2023. I have been meaning to catch up on some drafts that I wrote, but never translated and therefore never published, since my offices closed on 15 December 2022. Guess what? That just never happened! It was as if I was without energy this December holiday. Almost like a battery running on empty.
I had a discussion with my domestic worker about this, she said she also felt like that. Everything was effort. She makes a joke, saying she thinks we are getting older. Just there and then I rebuke that, saying we have just turned 40, so seriously, it cannot be old age. After a quick chat with our neighbour (her dog had puppies and now the Potgieters visited the Krugers every week, and then, when every pup has found a home, we see and hear little of them….my kids just love seeing puppies, oooooohing and aaaaahing about the little miracles that were born). Well, I have deemed it necessary to stop the sentence there, because, as per usual, information overload. Anyway, after having a chat with my neighbour, she said they also felt like that. Not wanting to do anything. So maybe it is something in the air?
This year is supposed to be the Year of Jubilee. 2023 the year of Jubilee. But, boy oh boy, it feels like the enemy just wants to come and steal it. The song in my heart, the praises just feel like they are disappearing into thin air. I can feel January in the air. You know? The feeling of being rushed that kicked in. The athletics atmosphere. The mornings that are gradually becoming cooler (in spite the heat wave we are currently experiencing), just as summer is making her last appearance before handing over to Autumn who will be performing in the falling leaves. I know it is not Autumn yet, because, man oh man, it is HOT. But, I can feel the change in the air. It feels as if this year started a bit more bumpy than usual. First lightning struck my laptop. This time round there are less documents that are lost, but still a few internal documents, especially Beroepsvrou admin type documents….but, it is what it is. It happened and I cannot do anything about it.
The week before our offices re-opened officially, I decided to get going work-wise. But it is a struggle. The stationery for school was purchased later than planned. I just did not have the energy for that. Then the bags full of books, pens and who knows what else, was lying around in my home office, glaring at me and mocking me. It must still be labelled. I recall what it felt like the previous year and how long it took. That was my framework on which I based this task. At the end of the day it was not that bad, I left it until number 99, something that does not work for me. But, I made it and will leave the commentary at that.
Just to put the cherry on top of everything, at the beginning of a new year, we decided to repaint our daughter’s room. Something we meant to do beginning of the holidays, but did not get round to doing, because we just did not feel up to it. This was the weekend before our offices opened officially for the new work year. None the less, we decided to address the elephant in the room and start the process. During this process, my husband sustained a self-inflicted wound to his foot. At that stage we thought it meant 6 to 8 weeks on crutches. At the time of publishing this article (how fancy does that sound, almost like a newspaper article?), the expected time on crutches was reduced significantly and resulted in only about 2 weeks. He is still not able to walk on the foot properly and can also not run around, but at least his extra pair of legs is something of the past and he can function relatively normal.
My list of challenges and moan songs goes on and on, but I will not repeat everything here. The purpose is not to complain in everyone’s ears about what I am experiencing, right at the beginning of the year. I am sharing my irritations and frustrations and challenges. I started writing this entry about a week or so before it was officially published, but never got round to finishing it off. It is even starting to feel like the enemy is stealing time, because time to do everything that I want to do, feels so little, scarce and few & far between. Just last week I was driving somewhere, thinking about how this does not feel like a year of jubilee. When I looked to the left of me, I saw a Farmer’s truck that read (in Afrikaans) Rejoice in the Lord.
Just there I realised that God was reprimanding my thoughts, addressing them sternly. It does not matter what is happening in our lives, we must celebrate by praising and worshipping God! Because when we do that, the enemy has no power. Not that he had much power to start with, but when we start to praise and worship God, we put a big lock in front of the enemy’s mouth so that he cannot throw around any other rubbish in our minds. Approximately one week later, after seeing the truck, I had a chat with my husband. He was talking about an electrical fault on the electricity supply at his mom’s biltong shop. I told him that it is hard to stay positive, especially when things do not work as they should. Just then he became almost discouraged with me, saying “You must not also start with this.”
I looked at him, much to my amazement and surprise, because, in general we do not talk negatively about the country and the state of things, saying how bad it is. But it IS indeed very hard to stay positive, let us just be realistic here. Especially if everything else around you feel so negative. And also, after watching a recent Carte Blanche episode, where it appears that things are not working as they should, the levels of positivity are low. My husband mentioned someone that was like the prophet of doom, being negative about something and the future and who knows what else. He finishes the conversation by saying, all he can hear in his mind, is (in English), Rejoice in the Lord, Rejoice. I looked at him in amazement and with surprise, hearing the words repeated that I read on a truck not too long ago (and actually know that I should not be surprised, because it IS God we are talking about).
It was as if it was a confirmation of that which I read on the truck the week before. I shared with him the scripture that was on the truck, and we both were just amazed at how God really works. It was as if God was just coming to remind me about everything that He stands for (as if I do not know this, but sometimes one gets so caught up in negative thoughts that one tends to forget). He provides for us in abundance. Tomorrow holds its own worries; we do not have to worry about tomorrow. God is already there, in tomorrow and the future. He knows what the best for us is.
Then I think again how I felt a year ago – last year this time. How we struggled to get into a routine after changing schools. I wonder by myself; how did I get to write blog entries? Then it is as if the Holy Spirit reminded me that I did everything between everything else. I started writing on my phone, while I was waiting for the kids, and only later I would finish the entries on my laptop. Work also happened between everything else and while I was waiting for school activities to be completed.
I don’t like working like that. Rushing from point A to point B, laptop bag over the shoulder. But it is the reality of the world that I find myself in. I am sure there are many moms that feel like this! At least I am there for my kids in the afternoons. To be able to give them their food and spray sunblock on them. To be able to sit and sweat beneath a Gazebo at the school athletics, taking pictures of them on the podium. Being there to cheer for them. Something that I never experienced as a child, because my mom had to work the whole day. I always try to use my time wisely and effectively. And between everything else, I do praise and worship God. It does not always take place at a specific time of the day. While doing work and even between work and kids, I chat with Him. Building a relationship with God, hearing from Him who created me. Trying to stay positive, even if everything around me is negative, struggling with cell phone signals between load shedding, shortened deadlines, things that just want to frustrate the living day light out of me. Between everything else, we must still CHOOSE to be positive. To be a LIGHT in this world.
Perhaps it does not feel like a year of Jubilee. For many people I recon it feels like this. It feels like challenge upon challenge, right at the beginning of the year. And that is exactly why we should continue to praise and worship God. To be joyful over His goodness! So that we can prove the contrary to the devil, that is constantly trying to throw a spanner in the works, day in and day out. I refuse to let the devil throw any spanners into my engine, causing it to cease. I will keep on keeping on. It has just taken a while to get back into routine after the December holiday. But moving forward is what I will do, while singing my praises! 2023 is the Year of Jubilee.
