It is Thursday morning. I woke up with sore muscles in places that I did not know had muscles. The reason? Death by Cross Fit the day before. My word, I did not know that my arms and so many other places can be stiff and sore from a WOD (Work out of the Day). I was sitting proverbially speaking, with my hands in my hair (and sometimes with hair in my hands too).
The entire week, actually the entire month, I have been thinking about this month’s scripture on the desk pad and I am not sure what I want to write about. But as time progresses and it becomes mid-September, I start to relate with the scripture even more than before…
It frequently feels as if I have this anxiety trying to squash my heart and breath from my body. It is 15 September and I am still trying to get through and finalise the admin tasks following the month of August. Why is it taking so long this month? I can just not figure out why it feels like I am held back when it comes to work!
My online shop for Beroepsvrou is faulty too, to top it all off! Suddenly, overnight the WooCommerce plug in (let me now use the fancy lingo so that I sound like some or other clever Trevor while I am busy) is just gone and not installed. HOW this happened is unknown. I do not know.
I experienced a fleeted moment of panic, tears wanting to overwhelm and consume me. My excitement of the past few days is almost stolen by this. It is as if it wants to tell me that I lied over the radio interview that I had. It is impossible for anyone to always look for the positive in everything.
And really, the trials and tribulations that I spoke about, how am I handling that now? Am I still walking around with a song in my heart? Why is my work now even further behind than what it was last week this time? Only 5 business days have passed since then, I am working everyday, feeling like I am running around like a headless chicken, not getting anything accomplished. WHY??????
Then I decide to go and read the scripture for this month again. Philippians 4:6-7 (AMP) Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].
Do not be anxious or worried about anything. Let us start there. Of course I am concerned and worried about time that is ticking by with the speed of white light, while my work pace seems to be that of a snail (not the snail in Turbo and at that speed – a real, genuine-enuine slooooooow snail’s pace it feels). Then on top of that, I am anxious about my online shop. WHY????? What now???? Must I redo everything? Back to my day job – how am I going to get everything submitted by the deadline date of 24 October 2022?
There is so much to do? I MUST exercise, that I am not going to give up for anything in this world. Because I know, if I do not exercise, I am going to lie around on the couch and become a potato so to speak. Then I may as well go and exercise and be productive and do something constructive. Ok God, I think to myself. I am now going to try REALLY HARD not to be anxious about ANYTHING that is bothering me. Done. Ticked off the list.
But in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your requests known to God. Ok, so this tells me that I must talk to God, prayer, something that I am doing, so I think I can tick this off my list. Petition this I am doing ever so often, especially with my crisis with the online shop. Do you have any idea how long it took to set up that shop?????
So I recon that I can tick that off my list too, because in my spirit I am crying. I cannot sit and physically cry, in the first place I am potentially going to look like I don’t know what, with make up smudging.
In the second place I am, in my opinion, only going to waste time by crying. I have things that have to be done, I cannot waste more time with crying. And thirdly, ag I don’t even know why I should not cry, I just know that I should not cry. That leaves me with the last part of the verse – thanksgiving.
I wonder what Paul (it was Paul that wrote the letter to the Philippians right?) meant with this. I think that I must praise God and be thankful that He is going to repair my online shop, that He will let time stand still so that I can get a head with my work and not feel like a failure the whole time. So, THANK YOU God for that which you are going to restore, have restored already and that which you are busy restoring as I am typing this.
And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. After typing away at the preceding paragraphs, it feels like I am feeling less anxious. The supernatural peace I know, I have experienced it A LOT in my life. Especially when I cease to try and do something myself, leaving it for God and His capable hands. Because let us face it – He is our Maker and His hands are more than capable. He is more than capable even if we still try and declare Him incompetent by taking everything onto ourselves.
My heart is feeling more at ease and my mind and heart, (that which springs forth all things in our lives), must also find peace. I must now start to speak as if it has been restored. Ok, I think I get it! Thank you God for the restoration on all levels of things that are bothering me, that things are going to be resolved in the blink of an eye (God you know my deadlines and pressure that I am under and I know that you are going to resolve everything very quickly). I pray this in the Name of Jesus! Amen and Amen!
I decide to move my focus to MY responsibilities. That which I am required to do now. I have someone that can assist with the online shop, hopefully a back up that can be restored or something simplistic like that. But my EDP work (the tax business), there I must move my bumb and work faster. The birds and angels are surely NOT going to do my work for me. I must still carry my weight there and do what I have to do!!
And the peace of God which transcends all understanding….I hear the words echo through my mind. I feel less anxious, in spite of the sore muscles and anxiety that I felt earlier. I know that everything will be resolved quickly! God is good ALWAYS!!
After I finished this entry, (the Afrikaans version), and started to focus on work again, the person that was assisting me with the webpage, let me know that the shop is in a working order. All the data is there. It is unexplainable as to WHY this happened and seems to be something that happens. I leave it at that and thank God for favor that follows me in all my days!
Hande in die hare
