While I am sitting here, typing away at this entry, I feel like everything in my life has been blown out of order and it almost feels as if the August winds of a few days ago has something to do with it. For those who do not know – August is also a busy month work wise. Less hectic than February, but also a peak time with loads of things that have to be completed with limited time available in the day. Speed dating for taxes time again.
The pages on my deskpad are getting less and less. There are only 4 left and if I blink my eyes again, I am going to tear off the page for August too. Then there are only 3 months left in this year. WHERE DID THE TIME GO TO???? Where did 2022 dissappear to? In my mind I am still caught up somewhere in March.
None the less, the page for August is full of notes with additional maths classes and times, exercise times for me, exercise times for the kids at school and then a mountain of notes on the side of the page, competing with the beauty of the flamingos in the background.
Yet again I am not surprised about this month’s scripture. It is so applicable and appropriate, as was every other month’s scripture. You see, when I chose 12 verses last year, I literally chose 12 verses that stood out to me, and in the order I received them I allocated them to the months of the year. There is NO WAY that I would have known how this month’s scripture would be seen as pertinent and applicable to me and where I am now.
What a BIG WORD! Pertinent. There I am getting side tracked again. Something that I feel happens too often these days. Almost like Dory in Finding Nemo. I am busy working on something, searching for a document on our network, then I remember about an e-mail I was supposed to send to a client. Then I send the e-mail and then I forget what I was busy with in the first place!
When I thought about the scripture this morning and what I want to write about, I only got the words Life Guard. It was in English and for my Afrikaans version I had to think carefully what the Afrikaans word is for Life Guard. It is very interesting how God sometimes reveals things only in English to me and other times only in Afrikaans. Back to the scripture.
I remember the first time I read this scripture. Somebody sent me a picture. It was a little girl with arms full of flowers (a cartoon image) and it read something in the lines of God will help you. Something like that.
When I read it in the Bible (I reverted to the Afrikaans version), I realised what a powerful scripture this is and how the picture almost dumbed it down too much, if I can state it like that. You see, at that time in my life, I had to present Financial Statements to a company and discuss it with them. A company that had a turnover of more than 1 BILLION RAND. I had to Google how many zero’s a Billion had (it is 9 just by the way), because I have never worked with that sized numbers in our business.
I even purchased a dress or two for these meetings (there were a few), because I felt I had to look the part and my clothes would not be able to compete with the turnover (sales if you are wondering what turnover is). I cannot arrive in my denim and sneakers like I dress most days when I work from home. None the less, the scripture just still stands out to me. Especially the part that says (in the Afrikaans version only) do not look around anxiously (kyk nie angstig rond nie). It makes me think of Peter who did not focus on Jesus and allowed the waves around him to loose focus and disabled him to walk on water.
And of course, when I think of waves, I think about what I wrote in June 2021 (or was it May?). About how I felt as if the waves of anxiety were trying to consume me. It still feels this way at times with a new routine with the kids, together with changes in work circumstances, other things and circumstances in our lives and all of that, added together, equals a moment of anxiety or three every two minutes and then it lasts the whole day it feels.
A month or two ago, I heard a new song on Spotify. Things that I’m afraid of by Ross King and Josh Wilson. I do not know who sang the song first (almost like what was first – the chicken or the egg?), and I like both versions. In the song he sings that the things that he is afraid of, fears God too.
That made me think. Because I NEVER thought of it like that. Sometimes we sit with so much fear bottled up inside of us, that we forget where fear comes from (it is not from God just by the by) and that which we fear, fears the Name of Jesus even more.
As I see the waves of everyday life around me, I try to stay focussed on Jesus. It is hard at times. Sometimes I fail myself when I get dispaired about so many things. Getting negative and not counting my words when I speak. Getting angry about circumstances in my life. Frustrations about things in my life that are not within my control. Many times the frustrations are about non-work related things.
And then, just as I feel the horison is rising, because I am not on top of the water anymore, the righteous right hand of the Life Guard reaches out to me, picking me up from the chaos. That which I fear has a bigger fear for the Life Guard. THAT is something that I must always remember. The things that I’m afraid of are afraid of you….I hear the words of the song wandering through my thoughts and mind….
Die Lewensredder
