Yes, I am talking about this topic again. January 2022 is gone (how I do not know but it is over) and I have not done ANYTHING to make progress on my continuous ethics training hosted by Tall Trees. I enrolled in September 2021 for a 12 month programme.
I started it with the hope and anticipation that I would do my bit every week so that this training is NOT like a mountain in front of me. But, guess what? Life happened! Work life and life-life’s life happened…
I started off well and somewhere in September I started watching the first lot of videos, made notes, etc. But then the end of year rush started, as I like to refer to it (this starts normally around September) and there is that plan up in smoke.
End of December I was sitting in front of my computer doing my tax training that was required before the 31st. (Yes, I have to do that TOO between everything else). I realised, as I was working through everything, that I NEVER finished my first month of ethics training…..
Luckily one can do this in your own time and when it suites you, which is not necessarily good for my personality….because training actually never suites me. Let us be honest, no one is ever wanting to do training. There are always more important things to do, work, children, etc….
But this training is different. I WANT to do it, it is just the number of hours in a day and week does not permit me to do training. This is not hard, it is interesting and insightful. If you break it down the way that they wrote it, then it is manageable in my opinion.
We must just get our heads around it and do it. Something that I can confirm is, that I do try my very best to prioritise my tasks, all which are written in a book by the way, into the 4 quadrants that Lynette spoke about in the very first video….
It will definitely help one to prioritise, it is just hard for me to distinguish which tasks are Important & Urgent. Because it is these tasks that requires priority attention – those which are both important AND urgent….and no one else can help me except me. I really still feel like a headless chicken, January was a difficult month in the sense of getting started again after the holiday.
I am most certainly going to try my utmost best to get to my ethical training again this coming week….maybe I can learn a little something that I can apply to my ever increasing and growing list. The work that comes in at 90 miles per hour while I get work out at 1 mile per hour….
I pray for help from above, because alone I cannot do it…as the Psalm writer wrote – I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord who created heaven and earth…..
Ja ek is weer terug by die onderwerp. Januarie 2022 is verby (hoe weet ek nie maar hy is) en ek het net nog mooi NIKS gedoen aan my deurlopende etiese opleiding aangebied deur Tall Trees nie. Ek het September 2021 ingeskryf vir ‘n 12 maande program.
Ek het dit begin met die hoop en verwagting dat ek elke week my bietjie gaan doen om hierdie opleiding te voltooi sodat dit NIE soos ‘n berg voor my lê nie. Maar, raai wat? Die lewe gebeur! Werkslewe en lewe-lewe se lewe het gebeur….
Ek het goed begin en iewers in September die eerste klomp videos begin kyk, nota’s gemaak, en so meer. Maar toe kom die end of year rush soos ek daarna verwys (dit begin gewoonlik hier rondom September maand) en daar is daardie plan daarmee heen.
So sit ek mos toe nou einde Desember met my belastingopleiding wat ek moes doen voor die 31ste. (Ja ek moet dit OOK nog doen tussen alles deur). Ek besef toe, soos wat ek deur alles werk, dat ek NOOIT my eerste maand van die etiese opleiding klaar gemaak het nie….
Gelukkig kan mens die tipe opleiding doen wanneer dit jou pas, wat nie noodwendig goed is vir my persoonlikheid nie….want opleiding pas my nou eintlik nooit. Kom ons wees eerlik, niemand is ooit lus om hul opleiding te doen nie. Daar is mos altyd belangriker goed om te doen, werk, kinders, en so meer….
Maar hierdie opleiding is vir my anders. Ek WIL dit doen, dis net die ure in die dag en week laat dit nie vir my toe om net my half uur te neem en daardie week of dag se opleiding te doen nie. Hierdie is nie moeilik nie, dis interessant, dis insiggewend. As jy dit opbreek soos hulle dit geskryf het is dit regtig haalbaar in my opinie.
Ons moet net ons koppe regkry rondom dit en dit net doen. Iets wat ek wel kan sê en van getuig is, ek probeer regtig baie hard werk om my take wat so ewe in ‘n boek opgeskryf is, te prioritiseer in die 4 kwadrante wat Lynette van gepraat het in die heel eerste video….
Dit gaan mens vir seker kan help om te prioritiseer, dis net vir my moeilik om te onderskei watter van my take is Belangrik & Dringend. Want dís die take wat eerste aandag moet geniet – die wat belangrik EN dringend is…en niemand anders kan my help as ek self nie. Ek voel nog soos ‘n afkop hoender, Januarie was ‘n moeilike maand in die sin om weer aan die gang te kom na die vakansie.
Ek gaan vir seker die week wat kom my beste probeer om wel weer by my etiese opleiding uit te kom….miskien kan ek nog so ietsie leer wat ek kan toepas op my lysie wat net groei en groei. Die werk wat inkom teen 90 myl per uur terwyl ek goed uitkry teen 1 myl per uur….
Ek bid vir hulp van bo, want alleen kan ek nie die stryd wen nie….soos die Psalm digter geskryf het – ek slaan my oë op na die berge, waarvandaan sal my hulp kom? My hulp kom van die Here wat hemel en aarde geskape het….
While doing this entry, I look at the date and see that it is end of January 2022! How did that happen? Yesterday it was still December, we were on leave, preparing for the new school year in 2022 and poof just like that it is the end of February….
I chewed and thought about the scripture about Deborah the whole month, a bit longer actually. None the less. I still have a lot of questions (it feels like a thousand) about her. Answers that I do not see at first glance in the scripture. Did people treat her with respect or did they treat her the way they sometimes treat me? That is something I don’t know…
I noted however, that she WORKED WHILE she was a prophet. In other words, she was not FULL TIME in ministry. No, she had her day job too that required her attention.
Now that answers quite a bit of questions that I have currently and had in the past. For a long time it felt wrong to work and not be in ministry full time. Not being able to do what I perceive God wants me to do.
The long and short of what I read between the lines of this bible verse is, she had to make time to spend time with God to be able to be a prophet. That is not something that just happened all by itself. As a human being, she had to put in effort to hear from God what it is that she was supposed to do. This is my own conclusion and to me it is logic and makes sense.
The lesson that I learnt from Deborah? It is ok to be a working career woman. It is ok not to be in full time ministry, winning over souls for heaven. It is ok to not go into Africa, living off one tin of canned food per month, struggling without running water as a full time evangelist (not that this was ever what I felt I had to do, but you understand what I am trying to say here). It is not meant for everyone to win over souls for heaven in THAT manner.
You can do it WHILE you are working and exercising your career. I for one, see lots of people all day, everyday (ok not that much but I am in contact with people and the outside world). Why can I not use the position that God placed me in to spread the gospel? There is nothing wrong with that?
It all comes back to my work and this blog. Even though I thoroughly enjoy blogging (because here it feels like I am plugged into God’s voice and can HEAR what He tells me), it is ok to work too. The secret is that I must make TIME to spend with Him in His word. I have to make TIME to blog, this is when I hear His voice. I experience Him in a way while blogging that I cannot explain or experience in any other way.
The blog is certainly not a hobby or something that I do just for fun. It is also not my way of coping with things. No, it is MY way of spending time with God. He knows I cannot spend hours reading bible or drawing pictures in my journaling bible, or even do bible study the way other people do it.
No, this, together with the Pink Feathers range deskpads, is MY way of spending time with God. Many people ask me and comment about HOW I manage to get everything done between life, work and children. The only difference between them and me, is, the way that I spend time with God, is on a public platform, a place where everyone can see it. Theirs is private where no one can see it.
Now I am not saying this to let anyone feel bad, because the time you spend with God is between you and Him. But for some people, some of us, He called to be different. Doing things in a way that is different than the way majority of people do it. How are we going to make a difference if everyone does everything in the same manner?
For the first time since launching the Pink Feathers range (yes, the crazy plan as I refer to it and what I thought about yesterday afternoon as to why I did it) I understand better why God destined it to be in this manner. It is not necessarily for anyone else. It is for me to spend time with Him. And if I can help motivate and support someone else through this, then so much better.
The bible says that we have our testimonies and that God will use it to save people (or something to that effect – this I am trying to recall off the top of my head and there is the possibility that I have it slightly wrong…I will double check this though, just for myself). Important thing to remember is that the Holy Spirit will do the convincing not the people. Our testimonies are ALL that we have to tell people about God, to spread His word and tell people about His miracles. Let us use it!
Soos wat ek die inskrywing maak, kyk ek na die datum en ek sien dis einde Januarie 2022! Hoe het dit gebeur? Ons was dan nog gister in Desember, met verlof, besig om voor te berei vir 2022 se skooljaar wat begin en poof net so is dit einde Januarie….
Nou ek kou en oordink die stuk van Debóra al die heel maand lank, eintlik al langer. Maar nie te min. Ek het vrae oor haar (dit voel soos duisende vrae). Antwoorde wat ek nie ooglopend kan sien uit die skrif uit nie. Het mense haar met respek behandel of het hulle met haar gemaak soos hulle met my soms maak? Dis iets wat ek nie weet nie…
Wat ek wel gesien het, is dat sy GEWERK het TERWYL sy profeet was. So met ander woorde – sy het nie VOLTYDS in die bediening gestaan nie. Nee, sy het haar day job ook gehad waaraan sy moes aandag gee.
Nou dit antwoord vir my nogals baie oor die vrae wat ek het en gehad het. Vir so lank het dit vir my verkeerd gevoel om te werk en nie te kan voltyds doen wat ek voel die Here wil hê ek moet doen nie.
Die lang en die kort wat ek nou tussen die lyne lees van hierdie bybel vers is, sy moes tyd gemaak het om met die Here te spandeer om te kan profeet wees. Dis nie iets wat net gebeur nie. Sy as mens moes moeite gedoen het om by die Here te hoor wat Hy wou gehad het sy moes doen. Hierdie is nou my eie afleiding, maar dis logies en maak sin.
Die les wat ek geleer het van Debóra? Dis ok om as vrou te werk en ‘n beroep te beoefen. Dis ok om nie voltyds in die bediening te staan en siele te wen vir die hemel nie. Dis ok om nie in Afrika te moet ingaan en van een blikkie kos per maand te oorleef en te sukkel sonder lopende water as ‘n sendeling nie (dit was nou glad nooit wat ek in my hart gevoel het nie maar jy verstaan wat ek bedoel). Dis nie vir almal beskore om op DAARDIE manier siele vir die hemel te wen nie.
Mens kan dit doen TERWYL jy werk en jou beroep beoefen. Ek vir een, sien mense heeldag en aldag (ok nie so baie nie maar ek het baie kontak met mense en die buite wêreld). Hoekom kan ek nie die posisie wat die Here my in geplaas het gebruik om sy evangelie te verkondig nie? Daar is mos nie iets fout met dit nie?
Dan kom alles weer terug na my werk en my blog toe. Alhoewel dit vir my bitter lekker is om te blog (want hier voel dit vir my of ek ingeprop word met die Here se stem en kan HOOR wat Hy vir my sê), is dit ok om te werk ook. Die geheim is, ek moet TYD maak om met Hom in Sy woord te spandeer. Ek moet TYD maak om te blog want deur dit te doen, HOOR ek Sy stem. Ervaar ek Hom op ‘n manier wat ek nie anders kan nie.
Die blog is vir seker nie ‘n stokperdjie of iets wat ek doen vir die lekker en vir sommer-net se sommer nie. Dis ook nie my uitlaat om my te laat cope met die lewe nie. Nee, dis MY manier om tyd met die Here te spandeer. Hy weet ek kan nie vir ure sit en bybel lees nie, of prentjies teken in my bybel nie, of bybelstudie doen op die maniere wat ander mense dit doen nie.
Nee, hierdie, saam met die Pienk Vere reeks deskpads is MY manier om tyd saam met Hom te spandeer. Baie mense vra my, en lewer kommentaar oor dat hulle nie verstaan en weet HOE ek alles reg kry nie. Die enigste verskil tussen my en hulle is – my manier van tyd met die Here spandeer is op ‘n publieke platform, op ‘n plek waar almal dit kan sien. Hulle sin is privaat waar niemand dit kan sien nie.
En ek sê nou nie dit om iemand te laat sleg voel nie, want mens se tyd met die Here is tussen jou en die Here. Maar vir sommige mense, vir sommige van ons, het Hy geroep om anders te wees. Dinge op ‘n ander manier te doen. Nie soos meerderheid mense dit doen nie. Want hoe gaan ons almal ‘n verskil maak as ons almal dit op dieselfde manier doen?
Vir die eerste keer sedert ek die Pienk Vere reeks begin het (ja, die mal plan soos ek daarna verwys en waaroor ek gistermiddag nog gewonder het hoekom ek dit gedoen het) verstaan ek nou beter hoekom die Here juis dit SO bestem het. Dis nie noodwendig vir enige iemand anders nie. Dis vir myself om tyd saam met Hom te spandeer. En as ek iemand kan help, motiveer, bystaan deur dit, soveel te meer.
Dit staan mos in die woord dat ons moet getuig, want ons getuienis is wat God gebruik om mense red (of iets soos dit – hierdie het ek nou wragties uit die vuis uit onthou wat moontlik verkeerd is – ek sal wel vir myself dit gaan opsoek en seker maak ek kwoteer nie skrif heeltemal verkeerd nie). Belangrik om te onthou is dat die Heilige Gees altyd die oortuiging gaan doen, nie ons as mense nie. Ons getuienis is AL wat ons het om God se woord en wonderdade te verkondig. Kom ons gebruik dit!
While designing the Pink Feathers range last year and choosing the scriptures for each month for the deskpad calendar, I sensed that God wanted me to blog about each month’s scripture that was chosen.
I did it without hesitation but still did not know HOW I was going to do it, how often I would write something or what I will have to say about each scripture. I thought to myself that I am more than likely to only make one entry about the scripure.
But here I am, typing away at chapter 3. In particular the scripture about Deborah was interesting to me. I mean, how much can one write about the limited information available to us in the Bible about her? This is where the part of the Living Word of God comes in. You see, the more you read it and the more you think about it (I do it the whole day while working) the more God reveals to you.
On Friday we were at our children’s athletics. It was interesting and new to us, because we moved to a new school and we have been a bit out of it when it comes to activities such as these. Next to our overly big borrowed Gazebo, was another couple sitting under a beach umbrella.
We invited them to share the shade of our gazebo if the sun gets too hot and too much. Initially they sat in the shade of the gazebo (but next to it) and still under their umbrella. Eventually the sun was too hot and they moved into the shade with us.
At some stage (before we all shared the same shade under the gazebo) I saw the wife on a laptop with a headset. She was attending a virtual meeting. Just like that, next to the athletics field. I realised immediately that I am not alone in trying to keep all the balls in the air. The constant juggling game.
This I have known for some time now, but it is as if God just came to show it to me again. Everyone has one or another challenge. Majority of woman these days are Career woman. Everyone has a role they portray.
Everyone can identify with Deborah who was a Career woman. Everyone is standing at the beginning of a new work year, school year, what ever the new year means to you – everyone gets to stand in front of it and have to find their rhythm. Sometimes people feel alone and as if they are the only ones that feel this way.
That is why the scripture about Deborah was chosen for January. Just a little something to help everyone, to support them. To remind you that you are not alone. All woman who portray a career role have some or other challenge.
We are not alone! Know this – you are not alone! Everyone feel the way they do at times and that is ok. The most important thing to remember is to look for God in everything and to move into His rest. When we are in His rest everything else falls into place. It is easier said than done, especially if you are like me, trying to plan and do everything without errors the first time….
Toe ek laas jaar die Pienk Vere reeks ontwerp het en skrif verse gekies het vir elke maand van die deskpad kalender, het ek ervaar die Here sê ek moet blog oor elke maand se skrif wat gekies was.
Ek het dit gedoen sonder om te huiwer en steeds nie lekker geweet HOE ek dit gaan doen nie, hoe gereeld ek dit gaan doen nie of waaroor ek gaan skryf nie. Ek het by myself gedink ek gaan seker net een inskrywing maak oor die skrif.
Maar hier is ek nou, besig met hoofstuk 3. Veral die skrif oor Debóra is vir my interessant gewees, want hoeveel kan mens nou skryf oor die bietjie wat ons kan lees in die Bybel? En dis nou waar die Lewende Woord van God in kom. Jy sien, hoe meer jy dit lees en hoe meer jy daaroor dink (ek doen dit heeldag en aldag terwyl ek werk) hoe meer openbaar die Here vir mens.
Vrydag was ons by ons kinders se interhuis atletiek. Dit was interessant en nuut vir ons, want dis mos ‘n nuwe skool en ons is so bietjie uit dit uit wat sulke aktiwiteite aanbetref. Langs ons onnodige groot geleende gazebo was daar ‘n ouerpaar onder ‘n strand sambreel.
Ons nooi hulle toe om die skaduwee van die groot gazebo saam met ons te deel as die son te veel raak. Aanvanklik het hulle wel in ons gazebo se skaduwee gesit langs aan en soos wat die son oorskuif het hulle toe wel langs ons gesit.
Op ‘n stadium (voor ons almal onder die skaduwee gesit het), sien ek die vrou se laptop is aan en sy sit met oorfone op. Sy het ‘n virtuele vergadering. Sommer so langs die atletiekveld. Ek besef dadelik dat ek nie alleen is om al die balle in die lug te hou nie.
Ek weet dit lankal reeds, maar dis asof die Here dit net weer vir my kom wys. Almal het een of ander uitdaging. Meerderheid vrouens is deesdae Beroepsvrouens. Almal het ‘n rol wat hulle vertolk.
Almal kan identifiseer met Debóra wat ‘n Beroepsvrou was. Almal staan aan die begin van die nuwe werksjaar, skooljaar, wat ookal die nuwe jaar vir jou beteken – almal staan voor hom en moet weer in die ritme van dinge kom. Soms voel mense of hul alleen is en die enigste een is wat voel soos hulle voel.
Daarom dat Debóra se skrif gekies was vir Januarie. Om almal net so bietjie te help en te ondersteun. Om te weet jy is nie alleen nie. Ons almal wat vrouens is wat in beroepe staan het een of ander uitdaging.
We are not alone! Weet dit net, jy is nie alleen nie! Almal voel soos hul voel by tye en dis ook ok. Die belangrikste is om God se soek in alles en in Sy rus in te beweeg. As ons in Sy rus is, val alles in plek. Dit is wel makliker gesê as gedaan, veral as jy soos ek is en als probeer beplan en reg doen sonder foute die eerste keer….
As I am struggling to cope with our new routine (the routine is hectic with getting up earlier and everything having to happen 1 to 2 hours earlier than what we are used to AND this entry took a week to finish between and amongst everything else), I wonder about Deborah. Did she have kids? I cannot see that from the information available in the Bible.
She was married, that I know. What I also noted was that she was a leader. Why do you say she was a leader? You may ask. Well, she was a judge and judges portray a leadership role.
But the biggest of all is that she was a prophet. Wow. That is huge. Profits have this special connection with God (my opinion) and not that other normal people don’t have that connection – I am sure you understand what I am trying to say. But in that time, in her time, God only spoke through the prophets…..
I jump back to reality, to 2022. I, Elsie, cannot compare myself to Deborah. What I can do is to try and learn and understand what she did in the Bible and maybe try to apply some of it in my own life.
I most definitely would like to have had an interview with Deborah. I think I would have had more than 20 questions. How do you feel after a long day’s work? Do you get tired? Do you become impatient with your husband (and children)? Do you get frustrated with your work?
So the list of questions go on and on. I think the most important point that I want to close off with about Deborah is that she was a normal person (I don’t read anywhere in the Bible that she was born with golden teeth and silk for hair). No, she was just a human….one that was prepared to be God’s instrument.
Deborah was a woman, a leader, a prophet. She was God’s instrument that He used to address the Israelites…..just as I was finishing off this entry, I drove behind a car with Jer 1v5 on it. Just that. Not Jeremiah written out in English or Jeremia in Afrikaans.
I read the scripture in the Bible. I think I was like one of those cartoon characters whose jaws fell open. It reads as follows: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.(KJV).
Wow, that is just a confirmation to me and just connects and fits in with the scripture of this month. God has chosen each and everyone of us even before we were formed in the mother’s womb, to be where we are today. To do what we have been called to do. That is HUGE. We cannot put God in a box, even though we sometimes try…..
Nou soos wat ek self probeer spartel en cope met ons nuwe roetine (die roetine is rof met vroeg op en alles net 1 of 2 ure vroeër probeer doen EN die inskrywing het my ‘n goeie week gevat om klaar te maak tussen als deur), wonder ek by myself oor Debóra. Het sy kinders gehad? Ek kan nie dit sien uit dit tot ons beskikking in die Bybel nie.
Sy het wel ‘n man gehad – dit weet ek. Wat ek ook raak lees is dat sy ‘n leier was. Hoekom sê jy sy was ‘n leier? Vra jy dalk. Wel, sy was ‘n regter en regters vertolk rolle van leierskap.
Maar die grootste van dit alles is dat sy ‘n profeet was. Wow. Dis groot. Profete het hierdie special konneksie met die Here, (my opinie) nie dat ander normale mense dit nie het nie – ek glo jy verstaan wat ek hier probeer sê. Maar in daardie tyd het die Here slegs met die volk gepraat deur profete…
Ek spring weer terug na realiteit toe, na 2022 toe. Ek wat Elsie is, kan NIE myself met Debóra vergelyk NIE. Wat ek wel kan doen is om te probeer leer en verstaan wat sy gedoen het in die Bybel en dalk so ietsie van dit te probeer toepas in my eie lewe.
Ek sal vir seker ‘n interview met Debóra wou gehad het. Ek dink ek sou haar gepeper het met vrae. Hoe voel jy na ‘n lang dag se werk? Word jy moeg? Raak jy ongedullig (die korrekte spelling gee net nie die hoeveelheid ongeduld deur in my opinie nie) met jou man (en kinders)? Raak jy gefrustreerd met jou werk?
So gaan die lysie aan en aan. Ek dink die belangrikste waarmee ek vandag wil afsluit oor Debóra is dat sy ‘n doodgewone mens was (ek lees nêrens dat sy met goue tande en sy-agtige hare gebore was nie). Nee sy was net ‘n mens…wat bereid was om God se instrument te wees.
Debóra was ‘n vrou, ‘n leier, ‘n profeet. Sy was God se instrument wat Hy gebruik het om met die volk mee te praat….net soos wat ek die inskrywing finaliseer en klaar getik het, ry ek een middag agter ‘n kar. Die skrif op die kar? Jer 1v5 – nie Jeremiah in Engels of Jeremia in Afrikaans nie. Nee net so verkort soos hy hier geskryf staan.
Ek gaan lees die skrif vers in die Bybel. Ek dink ek was soos een van daai cartoon karakters wie se kakebeen tot op die grond oopgeval het. Dit lees as volg: Voordat Ek jou in die moerderskoot gevorm het, het Ek jou geken; en voordat jy uit die liggaam voortgekom het, het Ek jou geheilig, Ek het jou tot ‘n profeet vir die nasies gemaak. (Afrikaans 1953 vertaling).
Wow dit is net vir my bevestiging en sluit so mooi aan by die skrif vir hierdie maand. Die Here het ons elkeen gekies nog voordat ons gevorm was om te wees waar ons vandag is. Om te doen waarvoor Hy ons geroep het. Dis GROOT. Ons kan nie God in ‘n boksie plaas nie, tog probeer ons soms dit doen….
Oh my WORD!! Let me tell you, we are all still trying to recover from the first week back in routine and on top of it all, a new school with new times and everything new in terms of routine.
You name it, it is new for us…..books must be covered and that is literally happening between 3 and 4 in the morning (ok maybe rather between 4 and 5 in the morning) because there is no other time to do this. I feel like a sleep walker. I become MOMSTER.
My husband asks me what is wrong, I probably looked at him with this expression on my face. You know, the one that says That is a stupid question dude! I have been up since 4 in the morning! I don’t think I really answered him, except saying that I am TIRED. But we survived.
How, I do not know, but we did. We were not late for school, got everything done that the school had asked us to do and I could manage to attend my exercise class on Wednesday afternoon. You are probably wondering why it is so heavy for us to get back into routine? Previously we could drop our kids a bit later in the mornings, but now we have to drop them half an hour earlier, which means that everything we do must move up by a half an hour or even more…..it is a lot and a huge adjustment….and where we live it means we must travel more and further than people that live in town…
With this uncertainty inside me, I wonder HOW I am going to manage everything this year, especially this month and February. Normally there is not enough time to get everything done, now even more so. On top of it all we have to attend some school activities, fitting it in between everything else….
I hyperventilate when no one is watching, because I must keep my pose. I still want to panic and run like the gif of Sponge Bob and Patrick, running and screaming like a crazy person. How do people do it?? How do other moms get it right??
How do people that work from 8 to 5 full time, without domestic workers do it? How do you stay sane AND get time for yourself AND all the other admin in and around the house? Do they sleep less? I wonder by myself. It always feels as if there are things that have to be sorted out, when are we supposed to do that?
Maybe their speed is faster than mine? Maybe I am a sloth and just so very sloooooow? That is how I feel. Is it because I am becoming older? Or is this the repercussions from the Pandemic? All these questions wash through my mind, coming in like waves, breaking, pulling back, becoming calm only for the next round of waves of questions to roll in.
Yesterday morning I have a chat with my husband. He recons we must just roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. I am stressing unnecessarily according to him. I look at him, again with a weird expression on my face, and think to myself HOW? My personality does not allow for rolling with the punches and one day at a time. I get frustrated if my day’s plan do not work out as it should have.
When one of the institutions we work with, have an issue on their website, not working, hanging and you struggle for hours to get a simple task done, then I get frustrated. It messes with my plans. Because that unplanned time spent on something out of my control, has to be caught up somewhere by ME. And the only place where I can catch up is to reduce sleep time. Less sleep. Because everything has DEAD LINES. So to let something stand over to the next day does not really help much, because then I am behind with tomorrow’s planning already….
The waves of questions and plans of what, where and how roll through my mind. HOW am I going to do it? WHERE am I going to get the time? WHAT am I going to do if my planning does not work out? SHOULD I still plan? Because if I plan it does not work out, if I don’t plan it does not work out. Do you know how frustrating that is for a Boxwood tree personality? Everything must be on their place ALWAYS.
This morning when I got up, I was humming a song I heard on Spotify once….I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength….Mmmmm….this makes me think. One of my favorite verses. I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. I CAN do this. God is going to help me! It is not necessary to hyperventilate or to panic & run like Sponge Bob and Patrick.
We do not HAVE to try to do everything ALONE. We must just ask God to help us, hold us in His hand, giving us the necessary strength and energy….Hands of mercy won’t you cover me? I feel the song’s words washing over my mind like a Tsunami, removing the smaller waves of doubt and questions. Suddenly it is wiped out with God’s peace. I can do everything through Him that gives me strength. Not on my own, ever.
Oh my WORD!! Dat ek nou vir jou vertel, ons ly nog almal aan bomskok na die eerste week terug in roetine en bo op dit nog by ‘n nuwe skool met nuwe tye en heeltemal alles nuut in terme van roetine.
Jy noem dit, dis nuut vir ons….boeke moet oorgetrek word letterlik tussen 3 en 4 in die oggend (ok dalk eerder tussen 4 en 5 die oggend) want daar is niks ander tyd nie. Ek voel soos ‘n slaap wandelaar. Ek word MOMSTER.
My man vra my wat is fout, ek het seker weer my gesig getrek op ‘n manier toe ek na hom kyk. Daai uitdrukking van Watse dom vraag is dit nou ou? Ek is al van 4 uur in die oggend op! Ek dink nie ek het hom geantwoord, behalwe dat ek MOEG is nie. Maar ons het dit oorleef.
Hoe weet ek nie, maar ons het. Ons was nie laat vir skool nie, het als gedoen gekry wat die skool gevra het en ek kon darem my oefening ingepas kry Woensdagmiddag. Jy wonder seker hoekom dit so erg op ons sisteem is, die terug in roetine kom? Voorheen kon ons die kindertjies so bietjie later aflaai in die oggende, maar nou moet ons hulle ‘n half uur vroeër aflaai, wat beteken alles in ons huis moet met ‘n halfuur of meer aanskuif…..dis nogals baie en groot….en waar ons bly beteken dit noodwendig dat ons meer en verder ry as mense in die dorp…
Met ‘n onsekerheid in my wonder ek HOE ek weer alles die jaar en veral die maand tot einde Februarie gedoen gaan kry? Daar is altyd te min tyd en te veel werk en nou voel dit vir my nog meer so. Bo op dit is daar skool goed wat mens moet doen en bywoon, dit inpas tussen alles deur…..
Ek hiperventeleer wanneer niemand kyk nie, want ek moet my pose hou. Ek wil steeds soos die gif van Sponge Bob en Patrick panic & run en saam met dit skree soos ‘n mal mens. Hoe doen mense dit?? Hoe kry ander ma’s alles gedoen??
Hoe kry mense wat van 8 tot 5 voltyds werk, sonder huishulpe dit gedoen? Hoe behou jy jou sanity EN kry tyd vir jouself EN al die ander admin in en om die huis gedoen. Slaap hulle minder? Wonder ek by myself. Dit voel of daar altyd goed is wat uitgesorteer moet word, wanneer moet mens dit doen?
Dalk is hul spoed net vinniger as myne? Miskien is ek ‘n sloth en so staaaaadig? Dis hoe ek voel. Is dit omdat ek ouer word? Of is dit die nagevolge van die Pandemie? So spoel al die vrae deur my gedagtes, dit kom in golwe en trek terug en bedaar en dan kom die volgende golf se vrae.
Gisteroggend het ek en my man ‘n gesprek. Hy reken ons moet roll with the punches en elke dag op ‘n slag vat. Ek stress myself onnodig uit volgens hom. Ek kyk hom so, weer met ‘n kyk en dink by myself HOE? My persoonlikheid laat nie toe vir roll with the punches en elke dag op sy eie nie. Ek raak gefrustreerd as my dag se beplanning nie uitwerk soos dit moet nie.
As een of ander instansie met wie ons werk se sisteme hang en nie werk nie en jy vir ure sukkel om ‘n eenvoudige iets gedoen te kry raak ek frustreerd. Dit meng in met my beplanning. Want daardie onbeplande tyd wat ek aan so iets spandeer het, moet EK nou weer iewers inhaal. En al waar ek dit kan doen is met slaap. Minder slaap. Want als het mos SPERDATUMS. So om oor te staan tot môre help nie veel nie want dan is ek al klaar weer met môre se beplanning agter….
So rol al die golwe van vrae en planne van hoe, wat en waar deur my gedagtes. HOE gaan ek dit doen? WAAR gaan ek die tyd kry? WAT gaan ek doen as my beplanning nie uitwerk nie? MOET ek nog beplan? Want as ek beplan dan werk dit nie, as ek nie beplan nie, dan werk dit nie. Weet julle hoe frustrerend is dit vir ‘n SIERBOOM persoonlikheid? Alles moet op hul plek wees, ALTYD.
Vanoggend toe ek opstaan, neurie ek ‘n liedjie wat ek op Spotify al een keer gehoor het…..I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength…..Mmmm…..laat my dink. Een van my gunsteling verse – Ek is tot alles in staat deur Christus wat my krag gee. Fillipense 4:13. EK KAN dit doen. Die Here gaan my help. Dis nie nodig om te hiperventileer of te panic & run soos Sponge Bob en Patrick nie.
Ons HOEF nie alles ALLEEN te probeer doen nie. Ons moet net die Here vra om ons te help, vas te hou in Sy hand, die nodige krag en energie te gee….Hands of mercy won’t you cover me? spoel die liedjie se woorde soos ‘n groot Tsunami oor die ander klein golfies van twyfel en vrae. Skielik word dit uitgewis met God se kalmte en vrede. Ek kan alles doen deur Hom wat my krag gee. Nie op my eie nie, nooit nie.
Since I became a mother, my needs and priorities changed drastically. Only a new mom with a full time career and job will know what I am talking about (not that I am saying that those whom have the absolute privilege of raising their kids full time have no idea but you will understand as you read more). Those motherly instincts that kick in the moment when you hear your first born’s cry for the first time.
For so many years I questioned WHY I am a career woman. I thought that woman in the Bible did not have heavy jobs so to speak…..or so I thought….until one evening in 2021 – while reading to our children from the Bible.
We discovered Deborah….I noted immediately that she had a very important job. She was a prophet AND a judge. Wow, that is a BIG responsibility. She had to judge the people, the Israelites. Even in Biblical terms I see this as heavy in my opinion. Being a prophet is also a huge responsibility. And she was both!
I am unable to determine from the rest of the Bible whether she had to study further to become a judge. We will probably never know either. I actually have no clue HOW people do their research about people in the Bible. Where do you start your search? How do you know what is the truth?
So I will be leaving all the technical questions about why and how surrounding Deborah and I am just going to focus on what I see in the Bible about her, and what I feel God is lying on my heart to write about her. The scripture that is on the January 2022 deskpad calendar can be found in Judges 4:4-5 – this is where I read about Deborah the first time.
If you are reading this and noted the flamingo’s on the deskpad calendar in the photo included in this article and STILL don’t know WHY flamingo’s, then I invite you to read the Pink Feathers category on my blog. That will explain it and give you insight. OK, back to the scripture for January 2022.
Now you are probably wondering WHY I chose that scripture and what is the theme for the rest of the year? Let me answer the first question….Deborah had a career, a qualification of some sort. I could identify and relate with her in a way – I stand in a career with a whole bunch of qualifications and degrees (yes it is terrible to think of it like this and to mention it like this, but, the reality is, when you are a CA and an RA, then you have to obtain about two degrees, together with a whole bunch of other things, just for those who do not know how that process works).
I know other careers also have their requirements of studying for years, doing practical training, etc. So we are not alone! Everyone had to do their bit to be able to practice their career. I kid you not – it is HARD work. And that is where the inner conflict starts between your career and being a mother. Both require so much hard work and I often feel I have to choose between being a mother and my career…..having to give up one. Giving up being a mother is out of the question….but do I want to give up all those blood, sweat and tears that I had to go through to obtain my qualification?
That being said, the other question between the questions is, why this scripture for January? Well, we are all still in a bit of a holiday mode after completing the first week of January. Some of us are preparing ourselves mentally to start work on the 10th of January 2022. Others have already started this past week. But we all stand in a career and have to get our acts together to be able to function like before the holiday started. Let’s face it, being out of routine does not work for us. Even our dog Fudge is out of routine!
So the long and short is, I chose to start this year with something career-like, just so that we can all identify with the scripture and just to be able to get ourselves ready for the year ahead. I hope it makes sense what I am trying to say here?
The theme for the year is Pink Feathers and this is the Pink Feathers range that I recon is going to become a part of the Beroepsvrou blog and everything that goes with it. I did not choose Career woman as a theme, but rather scripture that I thought could be linked to showing Pink Feathers for God.
As mentioned before, we are all in different careers. Not everyone reading this are CA’s and RA’s. And sometimes it is pretty tough, especially as a woman, to keep on keeping on, so that the world can see that we are flaming hot for Jesus and that our feathers are really in actual fact vibrant pink for Him.
As I said before, for a long time I thought that Biblical women did not have official careers. To be continued….
Sedert ek kinders gehad het, het my behoeftes en prioriteite drasties verander. Net ‘n nuwe ma met ‘n voltydse werk en beroep kan weet waarvan ek nou praat (nie dat ek sê dat iemand wat die absolute voorreg het om hul kinders voltyds groot te maak het geen idee nie – maar jy sal beter verstaan soos wat jy lees). Daai moederlike instinkte wat oombliklik inskop wanneer jy die baba die eerste keer hoor huil.
Vir soveel jare het ek hierdie redenasie gehad oor HOEKOM ek ‘n Beroepsvrou is. Geredeneer dat die vrouens van die Bybel nie heavy jobs gehad nie…..of so het ek gedink….tot een aand in 2021 terwyl ons lees uit die Bybel uit vir ons kinders.
So lees ons vir Debóra raak….ek merk toe dadelik op dat sy ‘n groot en verantwoordelike rol vertolk het. Sy was ‘n profeet EN ‘n regter. Sy moes oordeel fel oor die volk. Jitte, dis ‘n GROOT verantwoordelikheid. Selfs in die Bybel se tye was dit heavy in my opinie. Om ‘n profeet te wees is ook ‘n groot verantwoordelikheid! En sy moes beide doen!
Ek kan nou nie bepaal of opmerk uit die res van die Bybel uit of sy moes studeer om die rol te vertolk nie en ons sal seker nie weet nie. Ek weet eintlik glad nie HOE mense navorsing doen oor mense in die Bybel nie. Waar begin mens lees en soek? Hoe weet jy wat is die waarheid?
So ek gaan maar al die tegniese vrae oor hoekom en waarom van Debóra daar laat en maar net kyk na wat die Bybel vir ons vertel en wat ek ervaar en voel die Here vir my vertel hieroor. Die skrifvers wat ek op die Januarie 2022 deskpad kalender gesit het is Rigters 4:4-5 – dis waar ek die eerste keer van Debóra gelees het.
As jy hierdie lees, die flaminke opgemerk het op die deskpad kalender foto by hierdie artikel en STEEDS nie weet HOEKOM flaminke nie, nooi ek jou uit om die Pienk Vere kategorie te gaan lees op my blog. Dit sal vir jou meer sin maak en meer insig gee. Goed, terug by die skrifvers vir die maand van Januarie 2022.
Nou wonder jy seker HOEKOM ek hom gekies het en wat is die tema vir die res van die jaar? Kom ek antwoord die eerste vraag….Debóra het ‘n beroep gehad, ‘n kwalifikasie van ‘n aard. Ek kon met haar vereenselwig en identifiseer in ‘n mate – ek staan in ‘n beroep en het ‘n hele rits kwalifikasies en grade (ja dis verskriklik om dit nou so te noem – maar as jy ‘n CA en RA is, dan gebeur daar eers so twee grade voor dit, saam met ‘n hele rits ander goed, net vir die wat nie weet nie).
Ek weet ander beroepe het ook hul vereistes om vir jare te studeer en praktiese opleiding te doen, en so meer. So ons is nie alleen nie! Elkeen moes hul deel doen om te wees waar hul is vandag en om hul beroep te kan beoefen. Laat ek nou vir jou vertel – dis geen grappies nie en HARDE werk!!! En dis waar die innerlike konflik begin tussen jou beroep en om ‘n ma te wees – ek voel ek moet een kies…..en een op gee. Om op te gee as ‘n ma is heeltemal buite die kwessie….maar wil ek my beroep opgee? Die een wat bloed, sweet en trane gekos het om te bekom?
Dit daar gelaat, die ander vraag tussen die vrae, hoekom juis die skrif vir Januarie? Wel, ons almal is die tyd van Januarie nog so bietjie in ‘n vakansie luim. Sommige van ons berei onsself mentally voor om die 10de Januarie 2022 weer te begin werk. Ander het reeds al die afgelope week begin werk. Maar ons almal staan in ‘n beroep en ons moet onsself weer reg ruk en voorberei om te KAN funksioneer soos voor die vakansie. Erken dit nou maar – om buite roetine te wees is nie lekker nie! Selfs ons huishond Fudge is buite roetine!
So die lang en die kort is, ek het gekies om die jaar af te skop met ‘n Beroeperige iets, net sodat ons almal kan identifiseer met die skrif en maar net weer onsself reg kry vir die jaar wat voorlê. Ek hoop dit maak nou sin wat ek probeer sê hier?
Die tema vir die jaar is Pienk Vere en die is die Pienk Vere reeks wat ek reken deel gaan word van Beroepsvrou se blog en alles wat daarmee saam gaan. Ek het nie Beroepsvrouens gekies as tema nie, maar eerder skrif wat ek dink gekoppel kan word om Pienk Vere vir die Here te wys.
Ons staan in verskeie beroepe, nie net CA’s en RA’s nie. En soms is dit bitter moeilik, veral as vrouens, om aan te hou dat die wêreld kan sien ons is witwarm vir Jesus en dat ons vere wel mooi pienk is vir Hom.
Soos ek vroeër gemeld het, het ek vir lank gedink die vrouens van die Bybel het nie amptelike beroepe gehad nie.Word vervolg…..
Before I even proceed, I am doubting my title. What do you call the day before New year? New Years’ Eve’s day? That just sounds a bit weird and wrong. In Afrikaans we call it Oujaarsdag. Anyway, back to my story. So you guessed it. Like a peanut, I was sitting, doing training the day before new year. Why? you might ask. Well, my career and qualification requires me to do a certain amount of hours for certain things every year. Normally I get everything done throughout the year and I manage to get it done By the hair on my chinney chin-chin so that I do not have to do anything in December about training.
But, the past two years, 2020 and 2021 were DIFFERENT. I did not have enough hours in a day to do everything and every December, it was me staring at my CPD hours. Almost like an old Western movie where the two cowboys have to draw their guns and shoot at each other to survive.
You see, in 2020, the whole world had to homeschool their kids for a certain period of time due to Hard Lockdown. I really do not have to elaborate more about how much washing and dishes we had to do, not even talking about how much we ate and how little work and schoolwork we got done. Everyone was in the same boat and everyone can relate.
OK back to my training. So here I am, sitting on the last day of 2021 with 5 hours of tax training left to do. It does not sound like a lot. But if your whole family is outside in the swimming pool busy having the time of their lives (so it feels) and wanting something to eat every five minutes is seems, because everyone is H-U-N-G-R-Y, then the 5 hours feel like 5 days. Not even to mention the house that cannot seem to keep itself clean!
Systematically I work trough the requirements in my mind. IRBA wants ethics training – I can check that off the list. My Tall Trees training from ProBeta helped to sort out that requirement. I check and double check the list (almost like Santa Clause making his list and checking it twice), the whole time I end up back with the tax hours that I need. I do not have sufficient hours for that. I can almost hear the buzzer going off in my mind, you know, like in the game shows when someone gives the wrong answer and is buzzed out.
For a moment I want to get up and run around like the Sponge Bob & Patrickgiff that one finds on Whatsapp, Panic & run and screaming because I am now almost out of time. I wonder if I will hear the buzzer or not…..if I do not have my certificates dated 2021, then it is over. 1 January 2022 does not help me ANYTHING. Then I calm down and pray for help. Then God reminds me of one of ProBeta’s new platforms that they released a year or two ago.
Akhanani (I ALWAYS have to double check this name, because I just cannot remember it and get it right on my own….) is the name of the platform where you can purchase training like you would purchase goods from Take-a-lot. You choose what you want and then you go to the check out, make payment and you are on your way! Your training is there, your assessment that you have to complete to ensure that you did in fact listen (and the golden ticket – the training certificate as proof of your training) are all included in the price. Before checking out and making payment, I remember about two vouchers that I had affording me 50% discount. I sigh a sigh of relief when I see they are still active and working, reducing the costs to an even cheaper price that what I was supposed to pay.
Now I start to work through the training. It is torture but I push through and bear forward. I do the assessment and thankfully I pass it! You must now remember, I am doing this in between marking and labelling school stationery. I am multi tasking like never before. The next two sessions are half an hour sessions and I decide to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen while I listen to Wessel Smit’s voice.
I feel like a champion after obtaining the last certificate, around 5 pm on the last day of 2021. The kids look like they do not have too many emotional scars from me having to do training in between holiday time and marking the stationery. But suddenly I am exhausted and now it feels to me that this was ALL that I had done this past holiday (another lie I know).
A few days after this training, the 3rd of January to be exact, I have a conversation with someone. I explain about this training that I had to do and how hard it was for me, but I managed to get it all done. I close off with “Do you know what? Today, as I sit here, I have to do EVERYTHING all over again. That training that I did a few days ago, helps me NOTHING for 2022!”
It is terrible to think of it like this, starting all over, is it not? The lesson that I have learnt from this whole thing, is to stop Procrastinating about things that are less fun to do (like training – let us admit it, doing training does not get everyone out of bed jumping for joy). Do not leave everything until the last minute. I need to get my act together and start doing things the way I did it before this whole Pandemic started. The Boxwood in me wants to plan and not be caught like this, having to do things on number 99.
The Palm tree in me, on the other hand, is the one that Procrastinates and postpones. The motto is after all, Tomorrow is another day is it not? You see, for 2 years, since the start of the Pandemic, she was placed in a dark box, not allowed to breathe or have a say in anything. But, she managed to work her way into my life and planning somehow….while I am sitting and typing this, I am very grateful and thankful that I managed to meet the deadline and that I did what I had to do by 31 December 2021.
I am also very grateful for my training that teaches me more about myself, how I react in certain situations when life gets too heavy and hard. Also just being able to understand everything and everyone a little bit better. Of course it is easier said than done to do a little bit everyday (like my school teacher tried to teach us – Elke dag se bietjie, elke liewe dag). One nice thing is that everything is available for me to do in my own time (that of course, does not work for the Palm tree in me, by the way).
I just know, with the Tall Trees Continuous Ethics training that I have access to, as well as Akhanani (that is very cheap and easy to use by the way) I will get my training hours sorted in no time in the new year! I must just DO IT! I just know, deep down inside of me, this is the year that things are going to normalise for us, systematically and gradually. December 2022 I am certainly NOT going to sit catching up on training again! The balance between the Boxwood and Palm tree within me will surely be achieved…….
Ja, jy het reg geraai – die titel van die stuk gee dit weg. Ek het soos ‘n neut gesit en opleiding doen so op die ou jaar. Hoekom? Vra jy dalk. Wel, my beroep vereis ‘n sekere hoeveelheid ure se opleiding van my vir verskeie goed. Normaalweg kry ek alles gedoen gedurende die jaar en skraap hom so By the hair on my chinney chin-chin deur dat ek niks in Desember hoef te doen nie.
Maar die afgelope twee jaar, 2020 en 2021 was ANDERS. Ek het net nie genoeg ure in ‘n dag gehad om alles te doen nie en elke jaar Desember is dit ek en my CPD ure wat vir mekaar staar. Amper soos ‘n Western movie waar die twee Cowboys hul gewere moet trek en skiet ter wille van oorlewing.
Jy sien in 2020 het die hele wêreld hul kinders tuisonderrig gegee vir ‘n bepaalde tydperk a.g.v. grendeltyd (ek sal hier maar die mooi woord gebruik alhoewel Hard Lockdown net meer kras en erg klink soos ek dit ervaar het). En ek hoef regtig nie meer uit te brei oor hoe baie ons wasgoed gedoen het, skottelgoed, eet, alles behalwe werk en skoolwerk. Almal was in daardie bootjie en almal kan relate.
OK terug by my opleiding. So hier sit ek, op die oujaar met net nog 5 ure vir belasting om te gaan. Dit klink nie soos baie nie. Maar as jou hele gesin buite in die swembad baljaar en almal kort-kort iets te ete soek en H-O-N-G-E-R is, voel die 5 ure soos 5 dae. Nie eens te praat van die huis wat homself net nie kan skoon hou nie!
Ek werk in my kop stelselmatig deur al die vereistes – IRBA soek ethics training – check merk ek hom af in my kop. Die Tall Trees opleiding van ProBeta het gehelp om daardie een uit te sorteer. So hardloop ek deur die lysie en haak heeltyd vas by belasting. Nie genoeg ure opleiding vir dit nie. Ek hoor amper die buzzer in my kop afgaan, jy weet soos daardie wat op die game shows is as iemand iets verkeerd doen en uit-ge-buzz word.
Vir ‘n vlietende oomblik wil ek soos Sponge Bob & Patrick se giff wat mens op Whatsapp kry, Panic & run en rondhardloop en skree omdat ek nou ampertjies uit tyd begin hardloop en wonder of ek die buzzer gaan mis…..as ek nie my sertifikate het gedateer 2021 nie, is dit neusie verby vir my. 1 Januarie 2022 help NIKS. Ek raak toe kalm, bid en vra vir hulp en die Here herinner my aan een van ProBeta se nuwer platforms wat hulle so jaar of twee terug bekendgestel het.
Akhanani (ek moet ALTYD die naam gaan double check want ek kry dit net nie reg nie….) is die naam van die platform waar jy opleiding kan koop soos wat jy goed by Take-a-lot koop. Jy kies wat jy wil hê en dan gaan jy na check out toe, betaal en daar gaat jy! Jou opleiding is daar, jou assessment om seker te maak jy het wel geluister (en die goue item – die sertifikaat as bewys van opleiding) is alles ingesluit in die prys. Skielik onthou ek van twee vouchers wat ek gehad het, wat my 50% afslag gee, sug van verligting toe hulle wel nog werk en ek nog goedkoper betaal as wat dit reeds gemerk is.
So swoeg ek deur die eerste uur se opleiding. Dis torture maar ek druk deur. Doen die assessment en genadiglik slaag ek hom. Onthou nou, tussen dit alles deur moet ons nog skool skryfbehoeftes OOK merk so ek multi task dat die biesies bewe! Die volgende twee sessies is half uur sessies en ek besluit om skottelgoed te gaan was terwyl ek luister na Wessel Smit se stem.
Ek voel omtrent soos ‘n champion toe ek 5 uur die middag, op oujaarsdag my laaste sertifikaat kry. Die kinders lyk darem of hulle nie te veel emosionele skade het van my wat die take moes afhandel tussen vakansie tyd en skryfbehoeftes merk deur nie. Maar ek is moeg en skielik voel dit of dit AL is wat ek die HELE vakansie gedoen het (‘n leuen ek weet).
So paar dae na die opleiding, die 3de Januarie om presies te wees, gesels ek met iemand. Ek beduie hoe swaar die opleiding was maar ek het dit gedoen en klaar gekry. Ek sluit af deur te sê- “Weet jy wat?Vandag soos ek hier sit, moet ALLES weer van voor af begin. Daai opleiding wat ek net ‘n paar dae terug gedoen het, help my NIKS vir 2022 nie!”
Dis darem maar verskriklik om so daaraan te dink, is dit nie? Die les wat ek wel hieruit geleer het is om nie te Prokrastineer nie en ook nie om alles tot op die laaste te los nie. Kom ons almal erken dit nou maar, NIEMAND hou van opleiding nie en dis nou nie iets wat iemand laat juig en jubel van vreugde nie! Ek moet vir seker myself reg ruk en weer dinge doen soos ek dit gedoen het voor die Pandemie begin het. Die Sierboom in my wil beplan en nie so gevang word met nippertjie goed doen en afhandel nie.
Die Palmboom in my, aan die ander kant, is die een wat so kan Prokrastineer en uitstel – die motto is mos Môre is Nog ‘n Dag is dit nie? Jy sien, sy was vir 2 jaar so bietjie onderdruk deur die Pandemie, maar het tog haarself ingewurm in my opleiding se beplanning in…..soos wat ek hier sit en tik, is ek wel tog dankbaar dat ek gedoen het wat ek moes teen die sperdatum.
Dankbaar vir opleiding wat my meer en beter laat leer van myself, hoe ek in situasies optree as dinge te veel raak en net oor die algemeen alles en almal om my beter begin verstaan. Dis vir seker makliker gesê as gedaan om elke dag se bietjie elke liewe dag te doen soos my skool juffrou ons altyd gepols het. Maar alles is tot my beskikking om te doen in my eie tyd (wat nou glad nie vir die Palmboom in my werk nie bygesê, tong in die kies).
Ek weet, met die Tall Trees Continuous Ethics opleiding tot my beskikking en Akhanani wat baie goedkoop is en maklik om te gebruik, sal ek vir seker die jaar se opleidingsure sommer vinnig baas raak en kaf draf. Ek moet dit net DOEN! Ek weet sommer die jaar is die jaar wat dinge weer gaan terug keer na normaal, so stelselmatig. Desember 2022 gaan ek vir seker nie weer sit en opleiding inhaal nie….die balans tussen my Palmboom en Sierboom gaan vir seker in lyn kom….
“Up the T-U-B-E!!!!” comes the voice over our soundbar in our lounge. We are all watching TV to pass the time and reach midnight. My tribe and I. We are watching Henry Danger with the kids. We have already watched a movie earlier the evening.
Normally we sleep through the countdown and celebrations. But my son Franco started with this stay-awake-until-midnight thing a few years back…..neither my husband nor myself have the energy, but we do it for the kids. You know, the memories that we are busy making.
We do channel hopping searching for a countdown timer. We find one on one of the news channels, just in time. About 2 minutes before midnight. We watch in silence as the numbers count down and reduce. At 10 we all start counting with the timer 10-9-8-7….. and we count down and end with Happy New Year!
The moment that I utter those words, this emotional thing builds up inside me and a tear or two comes through that I cannot swallow down. Another year. It feels as if the reset button has been pushed and everything starts all over again. The head start that I thought I had by sorting out the kids’ school clothes and stationery seems meaningless and silly in that moment.
I pull myself together and decide to stop the negativity. We start every year a bit blue. This year HAS to be different. I look over to my husband and see he could not keep the tears down. He is emotional after wishing the kids a happy new year. My daughter Sioné hangs around my neck, kissing me over and over, as if the last time she did this was in the previous year (in Afrikaans we always joke and say laas jaar laas on the first of January but it is not as catchy in English).
I wish Franco a Happy New year and then my husband Heinrich. Then Sioné picks Fudge up and we all wish the house dog (our third child) a Happy New Year. She looks at us and for a moment there she seems a bit grumpy. We are waking her up from her nap that she was having. Suddenly I remember that I wanted to make a screenshot of the time on my phone and between everything that is happening I manage to get this right – I do this to remember later and to post on social media.
I call out spontaneously “Let us take a first photo for 2022!” Everyone falls down on the couch, Fudge too, whether she wants to or not, she is now a part of this photo. We struggle to get the angle right so that we all do not appear fatter than what we already are after all the junk we have eaten this holiday.
Then I miss the button to take the picture and it takes longer than what a selfie is supposed to take. Eventually we get it right, take a few versions to make sure everyone’s eyes are open. Nobody looks fresh anymore, we are all tired, but we smile nicely for the camera.
Then we all rush to get into bed. We are exhausted. A lack of more phrases about how tired we are cannot describe the exhaustion we are feeling at this time (I have a few in Afrikaans and again they are not as catchy in English when you translate them). We worked on the day before New Year. I felt like a champion because eventually I finished my 5 hours tax training that I needed for 2021. And I did work and we marked and packed the school stationery.
That makes me feel as if I achieved this thing called balance right at the end of 2021. Sort of. I managed to keep my child happy (after we had to talk long and hard with her first about WHY Mommy cannot do everything NOW as she demands), I finished my training, did some work (not everything that I wanted but did the bare necessities), fed everyone, cleaned the house.
Now that we can sleep, I do not feel tired anymore. As I lie in bed typing, I hear the rain falling down again (after a nice shower earlier this evening and late afternoon). Sometimes the rain comes down hard and then it changes to a softer rainfall. It is as if the rain drops are having a race to see which one will reach the ground first. At times the downpour sounds like a tap or hosepipe is opened over our roof.
When I listen to the rain outside, I wonder what 2022 has in store for us. I just know it will be a year of super natural abundance on all levels. It is as if God is blessing the new year with His rain.
And rather than taking a last photo of 2021, as my Facebook memories report I do every year, we take a first photo of 2022. Tired eyes and all. 2022 we are ready! With God on our side, it can only be good.
Later this morning I decide to finish my entry after going to sleep (I lost the battle to sleep and was tired after all), I go to my Bible App on my phone as I do every morning first thing.
The scripture for today? Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, Or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.
It is as if God is just confirming to me, with this scripture, that the first photo of 2022 that we took shortly after midnight, was the right thing to do.
“Up the T-U-B-E!!!!” hoor ek oor die soundbar in ons sitkamer. Ons almal sit en kyk TV om die tyd tot middernag om te kry. Ek en my tribe. Ons kyk Henry Danger saam met die kinders. ‘n Fliekie was reeds deurgewerk.
Gewoonlik slaap ons die Nuwe Jaar in. Maar my seun Franco het so paar jaar terug begin met die wakker-bly-tot-12-uur ding…..nie ek en my man het die energie nie, maar ons doen dit ter wille van die kinders. Jy weet, die memories wat besig is om gemaak te word.
Ons doen channel hopping opsoek na ‘n countdown timer. Ons kom op een van die nuuskanale af, net betyds. So 2 min voor middernag. Ons al 4 kyk in stilte hoe die syfertjies verminder. Toe dit by 10 kom begin ons almal tel 10-9-8-7….. en ons tel af en eindig met Happy New Year!
Die oomblik toe ek daardie woorde uiter skiet my gemoed vol en kom daar ‘n traan of twee deur wat ek nie kon afsluk nie. Nog ‘n jaar. Dit voel of alles van voor af begin. Die voorsprong wat ek gedink het ek gekry het deur die kinders se skoolklere en skryfbehoeftes uit te sorteer voel nou amper belaglik op hierdie oomblik.
Ek ruk myself reg en besluit Basta met die negatiwiteit. Ons skop elke jaar met ‘n blou gemoed af. Die jaar MOET net anders wees. Ek kyk na my man en sien hy kon nie sy trane keer nie. Hy is emosioneel toe hy ons kinders voorspoed toewens. My dogtertjie Sioné hang om my nek en soen my oor en oor asof sy my laas jaar laas gesien het (ek moes net die flou grappie wat mens ALTYD op die eerste Januarie maak gebruik).
Ek wens Franco voorspoed toe, dan my man Heinrich. Dan tel Sioné vir Fudge op en ons almal wens die huishond, (ons derde kind) voorspoed toe. Sy kyk vir ons en vir ‘n oomblik lyk sy dikbek vir my. Ons steur nou haar slaap. Ek onthou skielik ek wil ‘n skermgreep of screenshot maak van die tyd op my foon en tussen als deur kry ek dit reg – vir later se onthou en sosiale media posts.
Spontaan roep ek uit “Kom ons neem ‘n eerste foto vir 2022!” Almal val op die bank neer, Fudge word ook ingesluit, of sy nou wil of nie, sy is nou deel van die foto. Ons sukkel om die angle reg te kry net sodat almal nie soos dikkes lyk nie (al voel ons so na al die snert wat ons al die vakansie geëet het).
Dan druk ek die knoppie mis en dit neem langer as wat ons sou wou om die selfie te neem. Maar hy word geneem. Niemand lyk meer vars nie, almal is moeg, maar ons smile mooi vir die kamera.
Dan skarrel ons om almal in die bed te kom. Ons is flou. Op soos ou brood en koekies in die weeshuis (spreekwoordelik gesê natuurlik en nie met disrespek nie). Ons het gewerk so op die ou jaar. Ek het soos ‘n champion gevoel want uiteindelik het ek my 5 ure se belasting opleiding gedoen gekry. En werk, en skoolgoed merk en pak.
So dit voel vir my ek het hom soortvan reg gekry op die ou jaar – die balans ding. My kind gelukkig gehou (na ons eers moes raas en verduidelik hoekom Mamma nie alles NOU kan doen soos sy demand nie), opleiding klaar gemaak, werk gedoen (nie als wat ek wou nie maar dit wat broodnodig was om te doen), almal gevoer, huis skoon gemaak.
Nou dat ons kan slaap, het dit vir my gevoel ek is nie moeg nie. Soos wat ek vroegoggend, na middernag in die bed lê en tik val die reën weer neer (na dit vroeër vanaand en vanmiddag laat heerlik gereën het). Soms kom die druppels met mening af en dan verander dit na bietjie sagter en dan weer harder. So asof hulle resies hou en as almal gelyk afkom klink dit of iemand ‘n kraan oopdraai oor ons dak.
Wanneer ek so luister na die reën wonder ek wat 2022 vir ons inhou. Weet ek dat dit ‘n bonatuurlike geseënde jaar sal wees op alle vlakke. Dis asof die Here die nuwe jaar kom seën met Sy reën.
En eerder as om ‘n laaste foto van 2021 te neem, soos my Facebook memories getuig ek elke jaar doen, het ons ‘n eerste foto van 2022 geneem. Moeg ogies en al. 2022 ons is reg! Met God aan ons kant, kan dit net goed gaan.
Toe ek later vanoggend besluit om my inskrywing klaar te maak, na ek gaan slaap het (die moegheid het my oorval terwyl ek geskryf het en ek het maar ingegee op Klaas Vakie se demands), gaan ek oudergewoonte, eerste ding in die oggen, in my Bybel Toep (ag nee app klink beter hier) in.
Die skrif vers vir vandag? Jesaja 43:18-19 Dink nie aan die vorige dinge nie, en slaan geen ag op wat vroeër gebeur het nie. Kyk, Ek gaan iets nuuts maak; nou sal dit uitspruit; sal julle dit nie merk nie? Ja, Ek maak ‘n pad in die woestyn, riviere in die wildernis.
Dis asof die Here vir my bevestig dat die eerste foto van 2022 wat ons net na middernag geneem het die regte ding was om te doen met hierdie skrif vers.
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