Can I tell you how Mr. Doubt tried to destroy the Pink Feathers ever since I collected the proofs from the printers last week? He comes and then he sows seeds of doubt between that which I have felt God had laid on my heart, and the weeds of doubt almost, very close to ALMOST started to grow, trying to oppress (this word I had to Google because I could not think of the English word for Verdruk) the Pink Feathers.
This morning, we attended church at Doxa Deo Hartbeespoort campus. As always, Kobus Windt is marching up and down the stage (I am SURE it is a stage and not another fancy word to describe what is used as a stage), giving his sermon. He is so passionate and uses examples that we all can relate to, to UNDERSTAND what God is trying to say.
He always uses the saying that sleeping in a garage does not make you a car. The same is applicable to our Christianity. You cannot ONLY attend church on a Sunday and call yourself a Christian. You have to LIVE like one too. Today’s message was no different and certainly portrayed God’s message.
The name of the Series that is being discussed is Reageer (in Afrikaans) or React if you wish to translate it in English. We must react on God’s voice. As I am listening and making notes in my notebook, I can hear the Holy Spirit talk with me and I can sense that he is throwing weed killer over all the little plants of doubt that is trying to grow. Again, He presses on my heart to say “This is what I want YOU to do.”
Just this morning, while getting ready for church, doubt comes yet again and tries to sow negativity all over my mind. The thoughts? How can God use YOU, really? You fail at pretty much everything in your life. Your YouTube video that you tried to make, you called an Epic Fail yourself and laughed about it. What makes you so special and different than other people? You don’t even know the books of the Bible in order and off the top of your head. Not even to talk about the Bible itself.
Doubts similar to the previous ones repeat and continue in my mind. But God is faithful. In the sermon I receive my confirmation that this ís what God wants me to do. I must do thís, I have to reach a certain demographic area, Career woman, as this is where God wants to use me. If I am not going to do it, who will?
For the first time since I started the blog, I heard God speak to me through an Afrikaans song (they are normally English songs). While Kobus closes off the sermon, the worship team walks back onto the stage. Carindé sings in her gorgeous voice Stuur My, so passionate, you can see she is overflowing with God. He invites us to stand up while they are singing the song, if you feel you want to make an impact on a certain demographic environment.
I want to jump up immediately, but as per usual, I am self-conscious. Why I cannot tell you, because NO ONE in the church is observing who stand up and who remain seated. I ask my husband if I heard correctly – can we stand up? He does not answer me immediately, he is sitting with his eyes closed, worshipping God. After a while I hear him say – you may stand up.
I stand up and the moment I did that, I felt the Holy Spirit in a tangible form in my spirit. My eyes shoot full of tears. Not tears of heart ache, just tears that I have NO control over. From experience I KNOW that this is the Holy Spirit. I am on the right track, I am doing what God is expecting from me.
With that being said I am closing off this entry with what I perceive to be better YouTube videos. Shorter videos that explains each individual item better. I am busy working on price lists and I am just going to do it. I am not going to use my technical Accounting skills to try and work out and calculate complex formulae. I am just going to trust God. He will let it happen the way it should. After all, it is all about Him and not about me, so why doubt?
Die Pienk Vere – die bevestiging
